9 years and its still a misery/mystery.
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Originally posted by Angelica1:
People usually remember thing that they can't get the most and they will start to look for the answer for everything that happen.To be honest, this happen alot and its normal.Just get over her and move on,it is not easy -i 've been here before too but you just have to do it.As what you were wrote, she's married now and you should learn to let go of that feeling..I personally think how can you do this to yourself?dont you think you deserve to be happy also?of course you might not immediately success in the new relationship, maybe you will have to go through sadness and broken hearted again but this is life....the most important thing is, you will learn from there and if you not even trying, i can say that you are still yourself 9 years back.This is just too sad if you cant see and grab the opportunity to be happy.
**you know what, i've been waiting for someone for xmast myself since year 1998-he was my high school sweetheart...he did not initiate the break up but i did.however after that we still remain friend and we wanted to get back together and he promised to meet me on xmast year 1998 but he did'nt show up...i really want to meet him for the last time ( even tough the feeling is not the same anymore and more like a long lost friend) and i want to know that he is doing alright and life treat him good or maybe he probably already married..And i really want to thanks him for not showing up otherwise i wont be able to meet my wonderful boyfriend and be in the happy relationship now....**
Love can be painful if you choose to be in that way.....
cheers
I was about to say hey why don't you hitch with this guy.............
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hmmmmmm
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haha.
3 mths.
haha.
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are u that ger?
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??nope
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Time wait for no man.
Every minute you wait, you are missing out on something possibly amazing in life.
On your sensor and start to sense for some potential ones out there and focus on something more meaningful! Truth is relationship is not everything. But if you must, just get out there and meet someone! It can't be that difficult......
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Originally posted by moimiserable:
Our relationship did not last very long, albeit its only for 3months plus but she seems unforgetable to me. Maybe its the lie she told, maybe i'm ardent for the truth, but tell me somebody please, who can accept a sudden breakoff without a reason.
I've got no courage for relationship after her, i think of her whenever there is a potential relationship for me to start, not because i still hope to get back with her but instead is the fear she gave me, the phobia and thoughts of been hurt badly again. The lost faith of being able to last long. I teared whenever i think of her, i can feel the souring around my cheeks and the heart wrenches in pain.
7 years later, 2 years back, we met up for the 1st time after the breakoff, she initiated it, she apologise and said sorry. Is that of any use? Just again another selfish act to make yourself feels better? Have you ever spared a thought of how i feel? Or rather all along all this while its only about how you feel is important.
I don't think you can ever understand how i feel when we met up. I try to avoid but you're persistent to make yourself feel better only. I avoided you initially because i know very well i can't forget you. I will feel even worst after meeting you because we've got nothing to talk about and we can never be together again.
I think you just need someone new to pull you up in your life.... Dont tell me you have never like anyone during these 9 years? Cant be right. Not that u are still thinking of her also. A 3 months r/s doesnt worth your 9 years of loneliness and despair....
Anyway, whats the purpose of your meetup with her 7 years later? Like whats the main point? If i were you id just hack care the meeting. Tell her too busy with other girls so canot meet. But if want to go, make myself look good lor. Wear nicely. After she 'apologised' then tell her, paiseh i need to go meet my girlfriends. bye.
Seriously, drop the hate, and start giving loves. Maybe you need to get wooed instead.
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yes...i agreed with Lorry, you should let go your feeling toward your ex first and stop blaming her,then you will be able to accept other girl...
cheers
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What?! Its impossible to imagine how anyone could be hung up over another person for 9 years. People take about 1/2 the length of time of the relationship generally to get over a relationship. So if your relationship is a year, you should only take 6 months.
stop wasting your time on this person who probably doesn't remember your existence.
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Hi TS.
Everyone has the right to reject a person and to chose the person whom he or she wishes to spent her or his life with.
Being able to accept the fact your ex has chosen another guy and wish her all the best shows that you have mature to adulthood. '
If you truly love her, you should respect her decision not keep wishing and not keep hoping that she will get back to you for 7 years. At least she did not cheat you of your money and she ended it early to prevent more suffering on your side. I respect her cos she is able to act like a mature adult and she knows what she wants in life.
Imagine if you will die the next day do you seriously think that she will be coming back to you?
Life is short, there are many things you can do, if you are poor, than study harder to get a better job. Stop complaining that people have better jobs as they have study hard and earn their place.
I will only respect a person if he has done his best to upgrade himself to cope with the reality but not a guy who complains so much and do nothing to help himself. No one can help you but yourself.
Think about it.
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DRC i suppose u do not even bother to read up at all before commenting. IF u did read b4 u comment then i suppose u're the one who need further education.
If complaints dissed u then y are u here to show me your complaints? U're the one who need to think with ur brain if u ever got 1.
If the measurement for adulthood/maturity is solely based on one's selfishness, i reckon everyone is mature, if so then what rubbish are u typing here!
U wanna talk about respect then used ur words properly in return for a mutual. Likewise i don't even give a DAMN! for someone like you who tell me shit!
Don't act as though u know everything!
I did not say NO to the breakup, i'm suffering becoz she refused to tell me the truth at the point of time. Neither is there a reason nor explanation given!
If u tell me breaking with someone in this manner is mature, i've really got nothing to say becoz u and her belonged to the same category of self-centeredness indefinitely.
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I would like to thank those who has given me constructive suggestions. U guys know who u're. Thank you very much.
Its nice to know that at least someone understand my plight. =)
i do and did learnt something new from the different perceptives u guys offered and shown me. Thank you.
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Lorry,
the most ironic part is i went to meet her just after my friend's wedding. Can u imagine how sucky that felt. She knew i was at the wedding and proposed to meet up still thereafter. I think of all about her during the wedding and whether should i go.
In the end i plucked up my courage and went to meet her. I purposely went in a bad shaped. Becoz i wanna make sure its once and for all the last meeting ever.
But alas.. its still not easy... to forget someone...
i felt that there isn't a need to impress her at all. Instead i do it the opposite to give her the false consensus effect and it was pretty effective. Never hear from her again after that. Becoz i was determined to make it last.
Dilemna it was till today but at least i feel better then to even had another chance to see or meet her again.
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Originally posted by moimiserable:
I'm writing here because i don't blog, i just need a place to voice my agony within for 9 years plus and till now its still giving me sorrow which i really am at lost.
There is this girl that dump me 9 years ago on xmas day, i suppose every year when this merry season where joy is spreading and people are having enjoyment i feel lonely still.
Recently i dreamt of her again and that there is that kind of hurting feeling still. Life goes on, life still got to carry on but i am really still feeling sore inside. I really don't know why.
Maybe its the hatred, maybe i still love her, or it could be the love and hate collide effect that is causing the dilemna.
I suppose when one falls in love and got slapped real hard it will result in a deep scar.
Our relationship did not last very long, albeit its only for 3months plus but she seems unforgetable to me. Maybe its the lie she told, maybe i'm ardent for the truth, but tell me somebody please, who can accept a sudden breakoff without a reason.
I asked, is there a 3rd party? NO she replied and 2 weeks later she informed me of a new guy in her life. Am i a idiot? Why can't you just be truthful?!
I can accept the fact may the truth is how destructably painful. Its even more painful when you lied to me, maybe you doesn't understand the fact that this painful and selfish act of yours is hurting me till now. I know you care about your image, you wanna appeared real nice and good, but be fair to me! i've got the rights to know the truth!
I've got no courage for relationship after her, i think of her whenever there is a potential relationship for me to start, not because i still hope to get back with her but instead is the fear she gave me, the phobia and thoughts of been hurt badly again. The lost faith of being able to last long. I teared whenever i think of her, i can feel the souring around my cheeks and the heart wrenches in pain.
Not only emotionally handicapped but mentally my ego was been brought to the bottomless pit. I suppose i don't have to be explicit about this, i guess many people experience this before as well, materialism, i'm a poor chap back then, without a car, going for my NS with that miserable monthly allowance. How am i suppose to compare myself to someone who is a regular in the force who is drawing a higher pay. Thus another covering vague excuse thrown to me, i lacked maturity she said.
During my NS time, every nite i see my bunk mates calling their girlfriend and every nite i think of her. i couldn't call her, she will never picked up the phone, neither will she reply my sms. All i can do is walk to a quiet corner and hide myself there, sitting there weeping to myself. For seeing the rest in happiness, i feel much more lonely. I will never ever forget how my tears roll down my cheeks uncontrollably during marches and my daily solitary nite corner hideout.
7 years later, 2 years back, we met up for the 1st time after the breakoff, she initiated it, she apologise and said sorry. Is that of any use? Just again another selfish act to make yourself feels better? Have you ever spared a thought of how i feel? Or rather all along all this while its only about how you feel is important.
I don't think you can ever understand how i feel when we met up. I try to avoid but you're persistent to make yourself feel better only. I avoided you initially because i know very well i can't forget you. I will feel even worst after meeting you because we've got nothing to talk about and we can never be together again.
The freezing coldness of 7 years and suddenly it got warmed up, 7 years later u tell me u're sorry, are u making fun of me? or its the blardy global warming that causes u to warm up too? I can remember vividly how strongly u stand by your point that you were correct to dump me.
I purposely went to meet in the worst shape and i was correct, after that meeting we never met again when i initiated it. I don't what is going thru your mind but i definitely got an answer to your behavior.
You actually have the guts to wish me merry xmas on that year or its a testing of water game to you i do not know. But i'm pretty sure my reply to you is explicit.
I just wanna let you know, u've hurt me enough and deep. Extremely deep. There is absolutely no way you can ever amend it. And i'm very sure you don't even care about it. If you do, we wouldn't have broken off in the first place, if you really care about me you wouldn't be be acting so selfishly.
You're happily married with kid and i'm still alone trying hard to overcome you. I really do not how to move on. Time will heal wounds they said, but every now and then i still dreamt of you, and whenever it happens, the scar bled again, its like a cycle, another miserable night like tonite, how many more days of sleepless and misery again i really do not know.
moi miserable.
You don't have to be so hard on yourself if the relationship lasted for 3 months.And congratulate yourself for grabbing her rebounce and becoming the rebounce king.
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its not the length nor amount of time together but how much u've given out and put forward during that time frame.
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Originally posted by moimiserable:
its not the length nor amount of time together but how much u've given out and put forward during that time frame.
True, I cannot argue on that and neither can I disagree with you.It's true that there are many girls like her out there in this world, but you don't need to be so hard upon yourself.
In fact, you should be happy that you did not ended up together with her. Are you sure your future would be less painful if she were to stick together with you till now?
How would you feel if she were to lie to you for 7 years then suddenly tell you she's not happy and wants to break up with you?
Tell yourself you are a good person and she is the one who doesn't deserves to be together with you in the first place because she FAILED to see you for who you are. She only sees money, car and something very long .... better be long okie?
If you tell me you cannot move on, I would understand it's impossible for you to forget even if you can forgive her.
But don't just fill up your soul with sadness because that is only going to do yourself more harm than good in the long run. Try filling up your soul with anger and alot of anger for girls like her, so that your angry soul would be a constant reminder for you to be wary against gold-digging whores like her.
You are who you want to be, so take control of yourself and don't allow anyone to hurt your ego. And you can do that by learning how not to take bad people seriously.
Be selfish and protect your own feelings, cos there's nothing wrong in being protective of your own weakness and emotions.
It's call self-preservation and without self-preservation, you will no longer be at peace with yourself.
I wish you all the best and hope that you do not continue to place your wasted feelings upon this undeserving girl who may now have a family, but may not have a happy ending to her life.
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this 1 damn funny
married liao still angry
then wat u gonna do, charge to her hse and screw her meh
=_=
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Originally posted by parn:
True, I cannot argue on that and neither can I disagree with you.It's true that there are many girls like her out there in this world, but you don't need to be so hard upon yourself.
In fact, you should be happy that you did not ended up together with her. Are you sure your future would be less painful if she were to stick together with you till now?
How would you feel if she were to lie to you for 7 years then suddenly tell you she's not happy and wants to break up with you?
Tell yourself you are a good person and she is the one who doesn't deserves to be together with you in the first place because she FAILED to see you for who you are. She only sees money, car and something very long .... better be long okie?
If you tell me you cannot move on, I would understand it's impossible for you to forget even if you can forgive her.
But don't just fill up your soul with sadness because that is only going to do yourself more harm than good in the long run. Try filling up your soul with anger and alot of anger for girls like her, so that your angry soul would be a constant reminder for you to be wary against gold-digging whores like her.
You are who you want to be, so take control of yourself and don't allow anyone to hurt your ego. And you can do that by learning how not to take bad people seriously.
Be selfish and protect your own feelings, cos there's nothing wrong in being protective of your own weakness and emotions.
It's call self-preservation and without self-preservation, you will no longer be at peace with yourself.
I wish you all the best and hope that you do not continue to place your wasted feelings upon this undeserving girl who may now have a family, but may not have a happy ending to her life.
TS, i agree with parn on everything in this except the anger part
u do not need to hang on to such feelings to feel better
this is because if you hang on to such feelings, u will not be able to see beyond ur pain, what will be beneficial to you
like my female friend cum colleague, she is a living example
she has lost a good friend and is still lost in the emotional distress
for 6 months at least and she is still lost inside
what you can do is let go....slowly let go of all attachments to her and accept the new experiences and sensations you have
do not resist, just accept them
and a new you will be born
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I am only asking you to accept the fact that this girl have left you and move on thats all. Is not easy I understand but I do not wish for to suffer so much since you have wasted 7 years.
Since you do not understand it why she did it this way and the reason for my statement about mature breakup is ok and fine by me.
Is hard for you to understand now on why I talk about mature breakup, as you can only learn when you had reject someone whom you do not love which I cannot explain in simple words.
In time, you will agree with my statement, cos I too learnt my lesson the hard way.
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Originally posted by moimiserable:
its not the length nor amount of time together but how much u've given out and put forward during that time frame.
there once was a man who was wandring in the desert n was bitten by a poisonous snake.
all he could think about was how angry he was at this poisonous snake for biting him and angry at himself for wandering in the desert. n so he could not relax, forgive the snake, forgive himself and thereby calmly see that he could solve the poison problem and save his life, simply by sucking out the poison from his arm, as he'd learned years ago - but forgotten because he was angry.
he passed away.
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One who is unaccepting of oneself in any way - will always look to another to fill up one. When the other is also looking to be fulfilled - the misery and what have u is multiplied.
Solution is to die to the past - 'good' and 'bad' - otherwise one is merely deluding oneself and one is bound to project the past into the future and try to re-experience it in another form or shape (from the memories of the past) and one is back to the same old melodrama if not psychodrama! And meanwhile while is missing, being unable to live, appreciate what is rite in front of oneself. If one cannot see/appreciate what is 'apparent' or 'what is' - how is one going to appreciate another or .... hence one goes on missing love , missing living
However, when one is a clean slate ( in the mind - no impressions, no labelling, no accumulation) one's heart opens to what is. The heart knows no reasons, knows no fears, the mind is calculative, it is bound to look for reasons, justifications and one can simply add on or if u will - pile up -
PS - i say 'good' and 'bad' cos - it is always relative n anything that we identify with is divisive, though it is not apparent on the surface - it eventually causes a split within. The cause may seem to come from the outside - but the reality is the cause is within oneself and the feelings, emotions or ... is what one is always, one can pretend to be loving, one can .... but situations, circumstances would reveal the 'real' traits is one
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brod. u r a nice guy.
that gal is just trying to take advantage of you and play mind games.
foget abt her.
we all hope u will find the real happiness.
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9 years? OMG! you mean you haven run into anyone else who interests you in that 9 years after you were dumped?
It is REALLY time for you to move on.
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Originally posted by parn:
She only sees money, car and something very long .... better be long okie?
Long good meh? If too long ram the button mushroom also very awkward wor.Parn ...ar ... Parn haiz.
Regards
Genie