Originally posted by Lyris:i see very interesting and thoughtful replies and frankly, breaking up is an option that i've used a few times. what's holding back is how sweet he had treated me in the past and i choose to see that it is just a phase that would pass. so i hung on and tried to be more subtle in my replies to him, instead of fighting hard for my stand.
when it come to arguments between a couple, one has to give in and i chose to be silent when things get outta hand. but a few times experiences told me that he just took it for granted and shot his mouth off even further and didnt know when to stop. one of these experiences mentioned happened only recently after we paid deposit for our wedding dinner package. can you imagine?
it had been a whirlwind relationship. he proposed just after 4 months of getting together.
it had been difficult for the initial few months when he kept asking and probing about my past. Obvously i chose not to tell him as they had meant nothing cos he was not even present when it all happened. one thing led to another.. i passed my iphone to him one day and forgot to shut my email. and he went into my email folder and read about my past relationships. the rest is history and as true as what i believed, he could not handle those information and got paranoid at the slightest things.
and even with a guy friend whom i had travelled in the past whom i have a platonic relationship with, also made him paranoid. He thought it was more and he hung on to the belief and literally confronted him on the 2nd time they met.
yes we are planning to get married in about a years times and I am getting really tired. ...
Lyris,
Assuming you havent been seeing another guy on the side, like I mentioned before, it sounds like you'll have to choose between a difficult choice, and a really difficult choice.
In an ideal world, he'd realise his actions were wrong, apologise sincerely, and then actually change into Prince Charming. Great for you, and would be the makings of a fantastic movie and book.
The difficult choice is breaking up with him. Short term pain (the confrontation), for long term gain (your peace of mind, and the freedom to find someone worthy of you).
The really difficult one is not breaking up with him and putting up with his true controlling insecure ways for the next 60 years of your life.
Hope this helps :D