Originally posted by TheMissus:I feel extremely miserable at work. I really dislike my bosses and do not respect a single one of them. I generally despise the people in my workplace (both bosses and co-workers), except for a few whom I do not despise.
First, some, not all of my co-workers are very good at wayang and deflecting arrows. Recently we are made to do more work, but with the same manpower capabilities. This has resulted in some unhappiness, because of the increased work, and some people like to wayang and come up with excuses not to work, leaving those who get arrowed feeling upset and aggrieved.
Secondly, actually even before the series of 'changes', I have already felt unhappy. I pressed on because I thought things were more bearable then. And I also told myself that for the 1st time in my life, I want to overcome challenges I face instead of taking the easy way out ie to quit.
Thirdly, I feel unfairly treated and hard done by. No matter how hard I try, I feel that the people here treat me meanly. When I do things right or what I think is right eg volunteering to take on arrow, taking on arrow even though I already have another arrow for the same day or voicing proactively to my superiors about areas of work I'm interested in, I either don't receive any appreciation or do not get a positive outcome from my 'feedback'. I am so sick and tired of striving and striving and not getting any 'rewards' or recognition. Instead all I get is flak, and the feedback that I am not good enough, or that I should be doing more more more.
When I do certain things, I get unfair treatment that other people do not get when they do or say the same thing. i am generally very sick and tired of this place and have tried to tell my husband about how I feel.
He told me that I'm just being a spoilt brat, and that if I quit before i find another job, I will end up regreting because I will lose my constant flow of income coming in every month, and will not have $$$ to buy stocks which I like to buy. he also said about how our combined income will be affected blah blah, even though I feel what he's earning now is enough to cover our expenses.
Our finances will be tighter, compared to if I was working, but we certainly won't starve despite our relatively high expenses because he makes $120k per year including bonuses though he's under 30 and my annual salary is only about 1/2 of his. Every mth, I only take home a miserable $3k+ after CPF deductions, but he said that if I dun work, then I won't have any incoming CPF contributions and my CPF contribution also goes toward paying for our home along with his. However I do have spare funds, and including stocks have about $30K that can tide us through my share of contribution to the family expense, while he will also continue working.
I know that now that I'm a married lady I should be responsible and cannot just quit like this. But I really feel awful and miserable everyday. I think i am slinking into depression every min I stay in this job. I find myself whining and complaining to my colleagues everyday and either hating my superiors and feeling peeved with some of my co-workers (who wayang) or just generally hating my situation.
In any case, judging by how things are faring, even I die die thick skin stay on, my career also won't progress far since my superiors clearly don't have a good opinion of me. And so there's no future for me here anyhow. I have told my hubby this before, and he told me why am i so lousy and asked me not to give up and said even if I want to stop working eventually some day when we have kids, I'd surely want to achieve something for myself and leave my mark.
I am really at a loss now. I dunno what to do. I pray to God but it seems that God does not care about me or my pain and does not hear me or God does hear me but can't be bothered.
after CPF = 3K? Thats really not bad, I assume u are highly educated and must be in civil service?
i'm almost in the same boat as TS.
me and another colleague are doing the work of 4 people (that is, 2 people doing the work of 4 people). i dislike my bosses but the only good thing is the colleague is very good so we help each other out, but the workload is still hell.
work-non-stop entire day and need to work till 7 PM today when everyone went off for new year eve.
Originally posted by ☃®:after CPF = 3K? Thats really not bad, I assume u are highly educated and must be in civil service?
why would you assume that?
anyways i'm in the private sector, not civil service.
and to be honest, its shit pay really. i'm already in my late 20s, going on to my 30s soon and my take home is only $3.3k..after slogging like a bull. my hubby makes more than double that. sad really. and its been a few wks since I applied and not a single company/agency has contacted me.
Today I received a call on my hp which was an unlisted number and I was excited for awhile thinking it was a call to go for interview but it was a telemarketer from a bank. Irritated.
Originally posted by TheMissus:why would you assume that?
anyways i'm in the private sector, not civil service.
and to be honest, its shit pay really. i'm already in my late 20s, going on to my 30s soon and my take home is only $3.3k..after slogging like a bull. my hubby makes more than double that. sad really. and its been a few wks since I applied and not a single company/agency has contacted me.
Today I received a call on my hp which was an unlisted number and I was excited for awhile thinking it was a call to go for interview but it was a telemarketer from a bank. Irritated.
Actually I tell my wife the same thing, that ladies must be self-sufficient, and should be able to carve up her own career. Not that I am not earning well (earning much more here than in SG), and not that I want to make my wife suffer, but I always feel that the moment one stops work, one tends to lose touch with trends and society, and starts to get sloppy with one's own way of living.
For your case, I would recommend a change in mentality in the period you have to endure in that company. One lady pal of mine just went into switch off mode and only do what is necessary, before she jumped ship to a new job.
Be patient in job hunting. It's not easy these days coz of the job market. So, most importantly is how you face off the everyday unhappiness in your current job (it's JUST work... nothing impt in life)
Good luck, lady.
Hi TheMissus,
I sympathise with your plight and would like to put my 2c forward.
1. First off I feel that in a working environment it's not always who works the hardest moves the fastest. I believe it's also to do with how well you gel with your boss/colleauges. Now I'm not suggesting you change your personality to accomodate them but it is a viable option and in a working environment all too many times it is the wiser to be a hypocrite.
2. I understand that you are trying to live up to your husbands expectations but the emotional support from him at this time would be most welcome. However put it through that you don't want to quit but it is a hard time for yourself. Emotional support at this time would be most comforting and I believe would actually help you meet the next day with renewed vigor. i.e. " I don't want to quit but my job is so stressful and taking a toll on me." Him saying you are lousy is not acceptable...."Just tell him nicely that you are trying to fight on and here you are telling me I'm lousy.... does he think you want to quit and lose the income? You are I'm guessing an ambitious woman and that would be the last thing I think you would want. Just tell him I'm trying to struggle through it and some family support would be good and not just think of the $."
3. Once you have the emotional support from your husband ... that should balance your feelings and you should be able to clearly/sensibly address the outside issues you have at work.
4. This is actually a question ( I hope im not sexist) .... is yr boss/colleagues mostly guys? female?
Kind Regards
Genie
just quit lor, u already despise most people at work wtf. U shd start afresh somewhere and change that attitude. Don't always take the moral high ground at the workplace.
Be like me work like I don't need the job lor
If u are really as "valuable" as you said they won't dare to terminate you one. Yes, you may offend some managers BIG DEAL, they need u more then u need them. Without you doing the ground work they will do themselves meh?
No matter how hardworking you are, when the company don't need u it's still OUT you go.
That's the fact of life.
If work can ever do finish, or u will be unemployed soon.
Positive thinking, work smart, proritize and career planning is what I always tell my spouse.
You husband so high level can't even give u good advice?
Think u married the wrong guy liao.
I told my spouse I rather stay in a HDB with more financial freedom then have to keep worrying lose job no money and become homeless.
the missus,
very rare for guys in spore to get double of $3k for salary.....even for degreed engineers.....i suppose u are in medical field or pilots of ships?however if theres no calls for new jobs then................time to setup own company.
only people i know who get this kinda pay in spore are in medical,pilots,accountants and the fried kuay teow dude!the engineering side has been wiped out due to foreigners destroyong market salary.
Count yrself luck to have a job in hand.
There are many pple still jobless and unable to find a jobs for a living.
Think of them and you will cool down.
It depends on what manager you have.
For mine, it was a terrible boss. Everything want automatic. If you hit 1 mistake, you will be grilled and gana scolded for everything eg) not using your head, not using your brain, never think of AUTOMATIC.
My life is also like shit.
Originally posted by TheMissus:why would you assume that?
anyways i'm in the private sector, not civil service.
and to be honest, its shit pay really. i'm already in my late 20s, going on to my 30s soon and my take home is only $3.3k..after slogging like a bull. my hubby makes more than double that. sad really. and its been a few wks since I applied and not a single company/agency has contacted me.
Today I received a call on my hp which was an unlisted number and I was excited for awhile thinking it was a call to go for interview but it was a telemarketer from a bank. Irritated.
Some regulars in the civil service take home a lesser pay than yours and 3.3 k is already good for current economic condition.
Are we working to live or live to work?