Difficult.
-
Hey guys, right now I'm feeling really difficult with my girlfriend.
She says that i always seek fairness. Tmr is Xmas and I'm planning to give her a gift and have dinner tomorrow. But she says that i would want to be fair and later we would quarrel again because i have to spend moeny again. ( I'm 16 btw. She's asking for a Coach Wristlet)
Sometimes I have really no spare money, so i ask my gf to pay her other half when we have a meal. I just went to work and now i have enough money to buy her present. However, once again she says that I seek fairness and later we would quarrel again.
Now I don't understand her anymore, sometimes I feel that she's being ridiculous.
I don't like to quarrel so I always end up being scolded instead. (for most of the time in the past)
But nowadays, I always get really angry because she's being unreasonable.
E.g When i go out with my friend, she would sms me that my friends are more important that her. Which i would console her that she is very important to me.
I'm just trying to go out with my friends, so what's wrong with doing so?
Maybe she's comparing our relationship with last time, because last time i really neglected my friends and always go out with her. But I want it to change now, I want everything to balance up. I really don't know how she's thinking. Last time we hardly ever quarrel. Now, we quarrel every week.
She says that I don't treat her as my girlfriend because i seek fairness. But I really don't want to lose (in a quarrel) everytime. I feel that my ego and personality is sapping from me everytime we quarrel.
Now she's ignoring me for very long period of time, and when i talk to her, start a topic or smth, she would just reply me "oh." She would just reply me with 1 single word. It makes me feel like I am talking to the wall.
I feel that she always want to be the superior one and want me to be a level below her. I feel really small and little when I always have to be the one absorbing all her tantrum.
Sometimes i admit i was wrong. But after that I want to make it up to her and ask her go out or smth just to make her happy. But she would decline and bring back the bad arguement we have. I apologize but it didn't seem to work. -
Hey man, no offence, but isn't getting a girlfriend with such high expectations at 16 a little..early?
-
Love makes u blind... To the extent of wearing a hat too large for u when ur head isn't so big to fit...
Choose to continue or to quit... Be a man and see it thru... There's much more other things in life which are harder then this...
-
Liquefied,
Dude, what do you mean by "fairness"...? Argue about fairness ? Strange.
She also 16 years old issit ?
Go and remind her hor.. Christmas is not about getting what you want... it's a festive season for believers of Jesus Christ. However, non-christians participate by GIVING to the less fortunate.Your gf is very poor issit ?
As for how you want to spend your precious free time. Get this, you don't start what you can't finish. OK ? Good.
-
simi is "want to be fair" or "seek fairness"
u mean u buy her things then she must buy u things issit?!
if it's like tt hor
then u cham liao
she oni take and take
u oni give and give
how can
-
She's more wealthy than me, she got work too. But her's pay monthly. I just got a parttime, like 3 days then i got money to spare. Yes that wristlet would cost 100++. I was quite taken aback when she wanted it. I don't mind giving it to her tho.
She says i always very fair. Cos I would want to win an arguement. What this means is that I should give in to her instead. Maybe I was wrong. I mean I'm in the wrong, but at least i want to do the things i like. Like playing games or such. I'm only 16 and I would play games, reasonable? then she would say that games are more important.
Jeez, i don't know what she really want sial. I talk to her, she just ignore me or reply me with 1 word. Actually I'm quite sick of her replies. But i don't want to break up. I comtemplated that option before but I just cant bring myself to say it. Maybe because we both put in effort to the relationship and if i were to say it, we would both be upset. -
eh like that
u should ask her
do u love mi or my money??
-
dude, if u bought her a christmas pressie she wants, n she's still whining n moaning n being unappreciative - drop her.
now.
like a hot potato.
cheers.
-
I know she love me. Because i hardly give her any gift. But i always pay for food. Like those restaurants. Which can be quite costly too. I don't mind giving her the wristlet cos I gave her little things. I love her but she don't feel it. Mostly because im to blame as I neglected her during Olevel. Last time always go out with her, nowadays i stay at home and game. I would still go find her but it's still the same after we quarrel.
She would say that I love my games more than her. Yes i do play games, but i chat with her too. Maybe not as much, but still got talk. I talk to her then she always reply me 1 word only. That really pisses me off. I ask her what happen but she tells me "nothing." She says she don't understand me anymore. I could relate to her because I did change. ( Nowadays, i go out with friends and etc. Not as loving as last time.)
I'm not saying i am right all the time, I did err before. But I just want to make up to her for this xmas. But I cant make up to her if she always answer me coldly can I?
I do want to see tru this relationship, but I kept comtemplating whether i should end this relationship or not. She would cry, i wouldnt be too happy. Or it is just because I am selfish and run away when there's problem. It just feels really difficult. -
though it can be said that no relationship is smooth sailing 24/7, it shouldn't be a constant pain in the arse either.
imo, the litmus test to whether ur relationship is worth keeping comes down to whether u make her happy. whether she makes u happy. whether u're both happier together or more miserable together 80% of the time.
it is that simple.
the thinking is easy.
the doing is hard.
-
I'm happy with her. I'm not miserable. But I just feel difficult. I don't want to make her unhappy or regret my actions later on if we break up. I thought about it but just can't execute it.
-
Originally posted by Liquidfied:
I'm happy with her. I'm not miserable. But I just feel difficult. I don't want to make her unhappy or regret my actions later on if we break up. I thought about it but just can't execute it.
Feeling difficult = feeling happy???everyone including you has the fear of making wrong decision... but if u dun get over the fear, next time watever happens, u'll just run or hide in fear...
U gotta learn to make a decision... Leave or not to leave... dun like sissy... wan, dun wan, wan, dun wan >.>
-
yeah...Okay I'll decide after xmas. I guess breaking up will be painful.
-
then the 'buts' come flooding in.
if u're happy then why would u be thinking of breaking up?
... unless u're into self masochism, n want to deprive urself...?
life is short. don't spend too much time in limbo.
*pat pat*
-
I feel like breaking up. A few months ago. Because i feel like everything isn't working. She always angry and I always upset. Just because of some small things.
-
when starting a relationship - minor flaws are cute.
when ending a relationship - all the minor flaws add up to one gigantic ball.
c'est la vie. say hello to the mating game.
-
Have u have heart to heart talk with her? wat the root cause causing the problem? did you bother to find out or you are living in your own world?
-
U dont know what she wants ?
She wants EVERYTHING! at 16.... man.. i cant imagine when she is 21. lol
-
Thrash all the things out with her.
Find a right time and spend time to talk to her. Tell her how you really feel about all this. Let her know about all the things that are currently going wrong in your relationship from your point of view.
A relationship wont work if there's only one person working to keep it running.
It's good that you all trying to balance up how you spend your time. That's what i always tell my friends who are in relationships too. Never ever neglect the friends they have around them just because of their relationship for you'll never know when you'll need their help. Life is unpredictable, so is the ever so fickle little thing called love. But friendships, once forge strongly will burn for a long long time to come.
It isn't your fault to have a life outside your relationship. I don't see what's wrong with you playing computer games and going out with your other friends. You need to have a life outside your relationship. You need to have other friends too. And you have other things to do also, other interests to pursue in. Your life does not consist of her and her only.
Unless, you're really hardly spending anytime with her, i don't see where all her complains would come from.
You're only 16 and not working. (well,from my point of view part-time at your age, being temporary isnt really considered working) Most of the money that you have on yourself comes from your parents. She cannot expect you to pay for her meals every time the both of you go out. It isn't a matter of fairness from my point of view. It's being reasonable and understanding.
Have a good chat with her. Then decide where the both of you would go after that.
Yiou're still only 16 and have a long life ahead of you.
-
First thing.... have you bed her.... if you have bed her then its fair for you to buy her some gifts...
If you have not even pet with her, then it is obvious that your gf is asking too much of you. Girls being unreasonable is well known to all guys, but girls being extremely unreasonable is really a pain in the ass.
I would suggest you wise up and reflect on your relationship. You are only 16 and should be schooling, not buying some coach wristlet for her. She is already so materialistic and she may be worst when she is older. I am sorry to say, but this type of girl is simply looking for a rich kid whom she can ripped off.
You are still young, give your relationship a serious thought and may be breaking up is the best for both of you. You should also be aware that since you guys are so young, anything can still happen in the relationship. What if one fine day she decides to dump you for another rich kid, would you feel dumb enough to have spent so much money on her.
If a girl truely loves you then she would not expect you to buy her stuffs that is not within your abilities. She will also loves you for who you are, and best is she is willing to hang out with you and her friends. Likewise, you are also able to hang out with her friends.
So give it a serious thought over this festive period. Sometimes breaking up is good lesson learnt.
-
She seems to be taking you for granted more than anything. Might as well consider breaking up or just leave her alone and make her appreciate your presence and give you some bargaining space like some time of your own to do what you want and go out with your friends. If you continue to give in to her, she will never let you go and your own social life will be ruin because of her
-
I talked about it but always become a heated arguement. Then in the end, I would not say everything out. I take her for granted too, because sometimes i neglect her too. But I don't think she should reply me emotionlessly. Even when we are talking. After i go out with her, things get better. And suddenly we quarrel, then everything went down the drain.
-
Originally posted by Liquidfied:
I talked about it but always become a heated arguement. Then in the end, I would not say everything out. I take her for granted too, because sometimes i neglect her too. But I don't think she should reply me emotionlessly. Even when we are talking. After i go out with her, things get better. And suddenly we quarrel, then everything went down the drain.
Just focus on ur studies for now. You're all too young for relationships anyway and if even now you all quarrel so much, it would take a miracle for you 2 to still be together when you go NS where many couples breakup.
-
hahaha how many romances before NS really materialize into marriage? she sounds like a goddamn slut to me. Pls dump her.
-
Originally posted by Liquidfied:
I know she love me. Because i hardly give her any gift. But i always pay for food. Like those restaurants. Which can be quite costly too. I don't mind giving her the wristlet cos I gave her little things. I love her but she don't feel it. Mostly because im to blame as I neglected her during Olevel. Last time always go out with her, nowadays i stay at home and game. I would still go find her but it's still the same after we quarrel.
She would say that I love my games more than her. Yes i do play games, but i chat with her too. Maybe not as much, but still got talk. I talk to her then she always reply me 1 word only. That really pisses me off. I ask her what happen but she tells me "nothing." She says she don't understand me anymore. I could relate to her because I did change. ( Nowadays, i go out with friends and etc. Not as loving as last time.)
I'm not saying i am right all the time, I did err before. But I just want to make up to her for this xmas. But I cant make up to her if she always answer me coldly can I?
I do want to see tru this relationship, but I kept comtemplating whether i should end this relationship or not. She would cry, i wouldnt be too happy. Or it is just because I am selfish and run away when there's problem. It just feels really difficult.
Do note, your entire rant here has kinda listed out all your inherent problems, their roots, and their solutions.Either break up with her, thrash it out with her, or just deal with it.
You already know the answer. Yes, it's difficult, but get it over with or you will suffer more.