Difficult.
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Sigh. I understand. When everything is OK, then everything works out fine. But when it's not, it usually takes only a small thing for everything to go down.
I feel that if even small things cannot agree, then don't bother agreeing liao. Leave her. It's not because you hate her, but it's because it's better for her and yourself. Guys will always need friends, if she cannot understand now, she won't understand in the future.
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can tell she wants you alot. whether or not this is love, i have no idea. still, i love to spend my free time studying relationships. to me, 情场如战场，兵�厌诈。
hence, i advise you to:
1. initiate a breakup
2. she will either a) accept b) cry and start giving in to you
3. if she accepts, ignore her for as long as it takes. she will MOST PROB come back begging
4. after that, take this opportunity to thrash things out (she's most vulnerable right now)
5. treat her well after that, but no matter what, dont let her bully you again.
from what i can infer, she's possessive, and lets her feelings run over her. you must understand that when you go out with friends, she has this nagging dark feeling in her, and it shows in the form of quarrels. all these are signs of immaturity, and you cannot possibly use mature ways to deal with an immature person.
**im not responsible for any untoward outcomes originating from the use of the content of this post, follow at your own risk.
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can tell she wants you alot. whether or not this is love, i have no idea. still, i love to spend my free time studying relationships. to me, 情场如战场，兵�厌诈。
hence, i advise you to:
1. initiate a breakup
2. she will either a) accept b) cry and start giving in to you
3. if she accepts, ignore her for as long as it takes. she will MOST PROB come back begging
4. after that, take this opportunity to thrash things out (she's most vulnerable right now)
5. treat her well after that, but no matter what, dont let her bully you again.
from what i can infer, she's possessive, and lets her feelings run over her. you must understand that when you go out with friends, she has this nagging dark feeling in her, and it shows in the form of quarrels. all these are signs of immaturity, and you cannot possibly use mature ways to deal with an immature person.
**im not responsible for any untoward outcomes originating from the use of the content of this post, follow at your own risk.
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I believe both are not mature enough to talk abt r/s.
When u get into society and work then talk abt love la...
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Ask your girlfriend to come to this forum and read... hehe
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x4dish, best advice I've heard in a long time!
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Originally posted by Liquidfied:
I talked about it but always become a heated arguement. Then in the end, I would not say everything out. I take her for granted too, because sometimes i neglect her too. But I don't think she should reply me emotionlessly. Even when we are talking. After i go out with her, things get better. And suddenly we quarrel, then everything went down the drain.
When thrashing things out, never allow it to escalate to an argumentFind an appropriate time to do it, perhaps when she's not looking frustrated or irritated.
A good timing would mean a good start as she would be more willing to hear you out in most cases.
Before you start on anything, get her to promise you not to interrupt and let you say your piece. When she does interrupt you, raise up your hand to stop her and smile at her. It works most of the time
Start by apologising and saying what have you done wrong in the relationship. Its always the behaviour of a gentleman to admit his own faults first and apologising. It makes the listener feel better too.
Then, gradually try to move on to what she have done wrong. Not directly but rather subtlely. Be direct enough to let her know what she have done was perhaps inappropriate and maybe things could have worked out better if she have acted differently in the same scenario. But do not be so direct as in to out right blame her for whatever she may have done and end embarrassing or angering her.
Structure your arguments. (as in not really quarrelling but like how a debater would present their own arguments) Do not just blatantly point out any of her misgivings without any proper support. Convince her with your reasoning, why you feel that whatever she has done was inappropriate.
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In a relationship if the couple has lost the chemistry it mean it about time to left go move on. Leave the relationship with good memory. I wouldn't encourage you to stay on in this relationship.You are still young and there are many things in life are waiting for you to discover. Have a clean break and move on.
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Clapping comes from both hands..if one doesn't doing the move how can sounds be made? With your case, after doing all what you can but still your GF don't/don't want to appreciate there's no point wasting your time, besides you're still so young..loyalty from both side still can say that it's not strong enough..i just can't understand that on that age, such expensive things, have spend of by you guys? while so many professionals are even thinking twice before buying..anyways, what i can suggest is, stand on your feet and be your self, if she accept you for who you are, then love is there for you to do the effort to treasure of and take care of the relationship with her..but if she didn't, just face the reality that her chapter in your life has to end..you are such a great boyfriend to her as i can see and you're still young, your journey of facing relationships is still far far way to go..a lot of friends you can still meet and maybe better and will return back to you the love that you are giving.
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Originally posted by Liquidfied:
Hey guys, right now I'm feeling really difficult with my girlfriend.
She says that i always seek fairness. Tmr is Xmas and I'm planning to give her a gift and have dinner tomorrow. But she says that i would want to be fair and later we would quarrel again because i have to spend moeny again. ( I'm 16 btw. She's asking for a Coach Wristlet)
Sometimes I have really no spare money, so i ask my gf to pay her other half when we have a meal. I just went to work and now i have enough money to buy her present. However, once again she says that I seek fairness and later we would quarrel again.
Now I don't understand her anymore, sometimes I feel that she's being ridiculous.
I don't like to quarrel so I always end up being scolded instead. (for most of the time in the past)
But nowadays, I always get really angry because she's being unreasonable.
E.g When i go out with my friend, she would sms me that my friends are more important that her. Which i would console her that she is very important to me.
I'm just trying to go out with my friends, so what's wrong with doing so?
Maybe she's comparing our relationship with last time, because last time i really neglected my friends and always go out with her. But I want it to change now, I want everything to balance up. I really don't know how she's thinking. Last time we hardly ever quarrel. Now, we quarrel every week.
She says that I don't treat her as my girlfriend because i seek fairness. But I really don't want to lose (in a quarrel) everytime. I feel that my ego and personality is sapping from me everytime we quarrel.
Now she's ignoring me for very long period of time, and when i talk to her, start a topic or smth, she would just reply me "oh." She would just reply me with 1 single word. It makes me feel like I am talking to the wall.
I feel that she always want to be the superior one and want me to be a level below her. I feel really small and little when I always have to be the one absorbing all her tantrum.
Sometimes i admit i was wrong. But after that I want to make it up to her and ask her go out or smth just to make her happy. But she would decline and bring back the bad arguement we have. I apologize but it didn't seem to work.At this tender age of 16, you shouldn't be worrying about how to support her or give her money. Heck! You are making it sound as though she is already your wife! And personally, I believe that you should go dutch whenever you are out with her. You can bring her to all the "artas" places to dine and everything. By all means, go ahead! You can choose to treat her once in a while but note that you can't keep spending all your money on her when you yourself are not even earning much to begin with. And bear in mind that you also need to support yourself too with that hard-earned money of yours. Thrash it out with her if you really need to get this off your mind. But always de-escalate the situation. Don't let it get out of hand. Talk to her about your financial troubles and let her know how you really feel when you are out with her.
Money matters aside, I can't be a good judge of your gf's personality as I don't know her personally. But from your depiction, I can tell that she is a little of a control freak and materialisitic. You are just going out with your friends and she says you are not spending time with her? You like playing your games but she thinks it is a waste of time and that you should be spending that time with her? What does she treat you as? Her guard dog on a leash that must be outside of her house 24/7? Don't degrade yourself to that level please. Tell her you wish to attain a balance of your life with her and a life without her.
I can say that you are dealing with a "high-upkeep" girl. No offence to her but it is a fact. I guess it is probably due to her coming from a well-to-do background and she is probably used to getting all the things she wants. And if she doesn't get her own way, she would throw her tantrums and start giving you the black face and cold treatment. A princess as you may call it. I don't really get your concept of fairness but you should really talk to her about it and the problems you both face. Let her see it from your perspective and then let her give her opinions and see it from her perspective. Love is blind and you can't see certain elements clearly in a relationship. So take a step back and look at your problems from a spectator/outsider's point of view. Only then will things be clearer. I would not influence your decision in suggesting to you to make a clean break with her or carry on with her but bear all these things in mind as to whether can you envision your future with her next time. Can you give her what she wants? You are still young at 16 and the world awaits you. So make the choice yourself and never look back in regret. Cheers! :)
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bro,
get a replacement
once u have feelings for the replacement, dump her
make her suffer
u 16 only
why worry so much
this kind of eat money girl
throw also nobody want
give to some unfortunate guy la
knn where got u buy things for her she dunwan, want something better
if she dun understand ur situation, show her the finger la