me divorcee. he married man....
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I'm a divorcee with a teenage child.
I came to know a married man that shower me with the kind of love that I never experience (care and concern). He wants to married me and be with me, he even went to the lawyer to divorce his wife but later he changed his mind saying that he could not leave his young child and he decided to stay in the marriage..........WHY?
He is still with me till today (2 years) even after he got back with his family .......... It's very painful to leave because I truly love him, I know its wrong it's not a relationship it's an affair instead, I feel very drain and tired at time and very very lonely as when I'm in need I could not call him anytime or even sms him and time spend together have to suit his too.
How do I let go ………?
What should I do .............?
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Pardon me that you get involved with a wrong relationship with a married man.If you are desperate to feel love and cherished,then you gonna learn to be love by God.On the other hand you are destorying another family life,think about it.You are only self focus and probably you feel this way as you wanna feel being love again.Remember you can live with your child alone.The world is big and learn to mix around.I am sure if you believe in Christ,all things are possible through Him for those who believed.
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Grace of God, god is full of grace, go ask God
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if you love him, you will walk away from him..
married = verboten
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Originally posted by Wacky Sung:
Pardon me that you get involved with a wrong relationship with a married man.If you are desperate to feel love and cherished,then you gonna learn to be love by God.On the other hand you are destorying another family life,think about it.You are only self focus and probably you feel this way as you wanna feel being love again.Remember you can live with your child alone.The world is big and learn to mix around.I am sure if you believe in Christ,all things are possible through Him for those who believed.
All things are possible?Hee
True a not
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Originally posted by Grace of God:
I'm a divorcee with a teenage child.
I came to know a married man that shower me with the kind of love that I never experience (care and concern). He wants to married me and be with me, he even went to the lawyer to divorce his wife but later he changed his mind saying that he could not leave his young child and he decided to stay in the marriage..........WHY?
He is still with me till today (2 years) even after he got back with his family .......... It's very painful to leave because I truly love him, I know its wrong it's not a relationship it's an affair instead, I feel very drain and tired at time and very very lonely as when I'm in need I could not call him anytime or even sms him and time spend together have to suit his too.
How do I let go ………?
What should I do .............?
why ? .... it's simple .... why does he need to give up all that he has now ...... for something that you're already giving him ? .....
you're a divorcee .... you know what you and your child has gone through in a divorce before .... and yet you have no qualms about doing the same thing to another woman and her child .....
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I'm not breaking up his family, he is the one who promise to married me and he did a flip side. He already have problem with his wife long before I even knew him.
I have even alerted his wife that he is cheating on her but she can't be bothered and still with him. That only shows that he also do not love him, both hold on to the marriage before of the child.
A marriage without communication (only when necessary or because of child) and no intimacy.
????????
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no intimacy?
haha.
toopid ah u.
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Originally posted by Grace of God:
I'm not breaking up his family, he is the one who promise to married me and he did a flip side. He already have problem with his wife long before I even knew him.
I have even alerted his wife that he is cheating on her but she can't be bothered and still with him. That only shows that he also do not love him, both hold on to the marriage before of the child.
A marriage without communication (only when necessary or because of child) and no intimacy.
????????
is it any surprise that there were cracks in his marriage ? why do you think people have affairs in the first place ? .....
but, regardless of who initiated, who did the chasing, and who made the promises, does it make it any more right for you to appear in the picture ? you'd always be perceived as the "other woman".
And really, when it comes down to that, I think the interest of the children supersedes everything, after all, they are the only truly innocent party, yours, and their too, you think it matters to the children's interest that there's no "intimacy and communication" between the parents ?
And back to my first statement, again, to put it bluntly, why does he need to give up his family and marriage and marry you, when he's already getting everything he wants, from you ?
I'm sure it hurts to think so, but I think you're being used here. So do yourself and your child a favour huh. Really, there are hordes of nice, eligible men out there, if you'd just have the courage to seek again. Why give up the forest for one rotten log ?
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i dont understand why so many women go for married men.
the fact he is commiting adultery tells you just what kind of person he is.
if he can do that to his wife he certainly can do the same to you in future.
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I have tried leaving him BUT.....................
( Fatum - "there are hordes of nice, eligible men out there, if you'd just have the courage to seek again." )
Yes but who would want a divorcee with kid .............
Just like one of the forum posted here that the man fall in love with this lady and after knowing that she is a divorcee and with kid ............ he retreat.
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Originally posted by Grace of God:
I have tried leaving him BUT.....................
( Fatum - "there are hordes of nice, eligible men out there, if you'd just have the courage to seek again." )
Yes but who would want a divorcee with kid .............
Just like one of the forum posted here that the man fall in love with this lady and after knowing that she is a divorcee and with kid ............ he retreat.
then they aren't worth it...
it's hard.. but not impossible...
btw.. my friend got married to someone after her divorce.. she had THREE children..
thing is, look around, there are lots of people out there who are nice, eligible, and will be loving and faithful.. and give those who cheat a miss... because you're just heading for more heartache...
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Originally posted by Grace of God:
I have tried leaving him BUT.....................
( Fatum - "there are hordes of nice, eligible men out there, if you'd just have the courage to seek again." )
Yes but who would want a divorcee with kid .............
Just like one of the forum posted here that the man fall in love with this lady and after knowing that she is a divorcee and with kid ............ he retreat.
Yes, most men will not want to have anything to do with a divorcee with kids. But that doesn't mean you should have a relationship with a married man.
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He should pay for the "price" if anything goes wrong for being unfaithful to his wife.
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Originally posted by Grace of God:
I have tried leaving him BUT.....................
( Fatum - "there are hordes of nice, eligible men out there, if you'd just have the courage to seek again." )
Yes but who would want a divorcee with kid .............
Just like one of the forum posted here that the man fall in love with this lady and after knowing that she is a divorcee and with kid ............ he retreat.
the man doesn't speak for all men ......
we all come with different baggages, it's all about the courage to keep your heart open ..... cos once it's closed, nothing will ever happen ....
and you know why married men are a bad idea ? Cos if he can cheat on his wifey now, he can certainly cheat on you in turn .... doesn't it sound stupid to expect fidelity from a man who was unfaithful to be with you ? So what can you expect out of an affair with a married man, really ?
but, you yourself have tried leaving him too ....... so you already know what's the right thing to do ? .......
but it's so difficult cos you are really afraid of being alone aren't you ? .......
that's why people stay on in screwed up relationships, stand by farked up people, neh ? It's not about the other person anymore ... it's about the fear of loneliness, isn't it ?
well my dear .... ask, and it shall be given .... seek, and ye shall find .... knock, and it shall be opened unto you ... there are three billion men out there in the world ... don't you think it's good odds ?
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Originally posted by Grace of God:
I have tried leaving him BUT.....................
( Fatum - "there are hordes of nice, eligible men out there, if you'd just have the courage to seek again." )
Yes but who would want a divorcee with kid .............
Just like one of the forum posted here that the man fall in love with this lady and after knowing that she is a divorcee and with kid ............ he retreat.
I know a friend who married a divorcee with kid.
Happily still together.
Then I had another friend who laughed at him saying he married a divorcee with kid.
"Buy one get one free!!" he always told me.
Guess what?
He also ended up in the same predicament. And he bought imported goods. His wife is a PRC.
Doesn't mean divorcee cannot find happiness. Also doesn't mean divorcee no problem.... why make life harder for yourself?
Kind Regards
Genie
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but it's so difficult cos you are really afraid of being alone aren't you ? .......
that's why people stay on in screwed up relationships, stand by farked up people, neh ? It's not about the other person anymore ... it's about the fear of loneliness, isn't it ?
I do not denied the fact YES I'm very very afraid of being lonely and lost........the feeling is terrible.
Its just like a prisoner being locked in the cell for years, when the day come to be release he is lost and would want to stay on instead .........
Its always good to stay in your comfort zone ……… even though ……………
At time I just hated myself and feel so hopeless and useless.
How do I move on ........................
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Originally posted by Grace of God:
but it's so difficult cos you are really afraid of being alone aren't you ? .......
that's why people stay on in screwed up relationships, stand by farked up people, neh ? It's not about the other person anymore ... it's about the fear of loneliness, isn't it ?
I do not denied the fact YES I'm very very afraid of being lonely and lost........the feeling is terrible.
Its just like a prisoner being locked in the cell for years, when the day come to be release he is lost and would want to stay on instead .........
Its always good to stay in your comfort zone ……… even though ……………
At time I just hated myself and feel so hopeless and useless.
How do I move on ........................
First of all you need to leave the guy you are with.
Fact : - you love your kid.... and there will be no future if he cannot be his father.
when your kid grows to age where he understands these things... 12 maybe and that will happen really fast..... there will be problems. Especially when he finds out you are the third party.
Fact : - It is easier to find a suitable partner when you are younger and your kid is young. When you are younger because you will be more attractive and guys are more forgiving that you made a bad choice.
Fact :- If your kid old le.... and you find someone you really like..... whether your kid likes his new father is up for debate.
I can think of more options.... but all of it first step is...
Leave your relationship...
Start a relationship with someone only if he is single... and don't rush into it just because of your situation.... that is dumb. You'll end up being a foc whore so please don't.
Also doesn't mean you made a bad choice you should think of yourself any lower. Everyone makes mistakes....I did too i ate too much and I'm a beach whale.
Kind Regards
Genie
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Originally posted by Grace of God:
but it's so difficult cos you are really afraid of being alone aren't you ? .......
that's why people stay on in screwed up relationships, stand by farked up people, neh ? It's not about the other person anymore ... it's about the fear of loneliness, isn't it ?
I do not denied the fact YES I'm very very afraid of being lonely and lost........the feeling is terrible.
Its just like a prisoner being locked in the cell for years, when the day come to be release he is lost and would want to stay on instead .........
Its always good to stay in your comfort zone ……… even though ……………
At time I just hated myself and feel so hopeless and useless.
How do I move on ........................
Why u dun go and ask ur God
for advise?
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Thank you for your info ztreyier ........... it takes a lot of courage for me to be here sharing my problem.
If it's so easy, I will have move out of the situation.
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Originally posted by Grace of God:
but it's so difficult cos you are really afraid of being alone aren't you ? .......
that's why people stay on in screwed up relationships, stand by farked up people, neh ? It's not about the other person anymore ... it's about the fear of loneliness, isn't it ?
I do not denied the fact YES I'm very very afraid of being lonely and lost........the feeling is terrible.
Its just like a prisoner being locked in the cell for years, when the day come to be release he is lost and would want to stay on instead .........
Its always good to stay in your comfort zone ……… even though ……………
At time I just hated myself and feel so hopeless and useless.
How do I move on ........................
you move on by first giving him the finger and telling him to get the fark out of your life, forever ..... feel sorry for the other woman and kid, they are the one stuck with an arsehole, not you .....
then you delete all the emails, smses, number, etc ...
next, you spring clean your house, good riddance to bad rubbish and bad vibes ....
go for a spa if you like ....
afterwards, go gai gai with your teen, have a good meal, watch a movie, go shopping together or something .... your kid needs your love too, neh ? ... definitely deserves it more than the farktard you tossed out ...
then .... you go out and meet people ... join a club, an interest group, call up old friends, sign up for cooking class, karaoke, morning taiji, whatever, go do volunteer work, with the old folks, the disabled, the kids ... you'll find your problems so insignificant compared to their lot in life ...
wallowing in self pity is a perfectly human and natural form of therapy, just don't over do it, and know when to wake up .... happiness is what you seek, and what you fight for ... it won't drop out of the sky onto your lap. It all boils down to what you do ... you don't want to be still mooching around sighing 10 years down the line, right ?
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you'll be in more pain if you continue with this relationship; you've wasted enough time as it is with this nowhere-but-pain relationship.
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Like what the 'The Bear' posted - if love is there - it will know what to do - love that puports to love another and yet wants to 'use' another to meets one's end is the most ugliest thing. Whether it is him or u does not matter - one's marital status is no excuse
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Ts ur nick
is Grace of God?
So u should put God first right?
tis show u are just using his name
in shame only
