Originally posted by noahnoah:
All things are possible?Hee
True a not
Noah, it is a joke la. If all things are possible, we all rich liao. Lots of crap in christianity. Some christians live their life on earth like as if they are already in heaven, not down to earth.
Apreciate all your kindness and words of encourage instead of belittle me. THANK YOU ALL.
then .... you go out and meet people ... join a club, an interest group, call up old friends, sign up for cooking class, karaoke, morning taiji, whatever, go do volunteer work, with the old folks, the disabled, the kids ... you'll find your problems so insignificant compared to their lot in life ...
I do not know how to start and move out / on as I am a introvert even though I am a working mum. I do not socialize and do not have "friends".
My life only work / kid / him.
Originally posted by Fantagf:
Noah, it is a joke la. If all things are possible, we all rich liao. Lots of crap in christianity. Some christians live their life on earth like as if they are already in heaven, not down to earth.
let's keep religious thoughts or lack of it out of this?
stick to the problem at hand.. which is this lady's seeming inability to do what she knows she has to do...
with most things, it starts with a decision... and the determination to stick by that decision...
Originally posted by Grace of God:Apreciate all your kindness and words of encourage instead of belittle me. THANK YOU ALL.
then .... you go out and meet people ... join a club, an interest group, call up old friends, sign up for cooking class, karaoke, morning taiji, whatever, go do volunteer work, with the old folks, the disabled, the kids ... you'll find your problems so insignificant compared to their lot in life ...
I do not know how to start and move out / on as I am a introvert even though I am a working mum. I do not socialize and do not have "friends".
My life only work / kid / him.
u christian or not
if so , u go church right
then by right or left should have a lot
of bro or sis friends le
Originally posted by Grace of God:Apreciate all your kindness and words of encourage instead of belittle me. THANK YOU ALL.
then .... you go out and meet people ... join a club, an interest group, call up old friends, sign up for cooking class, karaoke, morning taiji, whatever, go do volunteer work, with the old folks, the disabled, the kids ... you'll find your problems so insignificant compared to their lot in life ...
I do not know how to start and move out / on as I am a introvert even though I am a working mum. I do not socialize and do not have "friends".
My life only work / kid / him.
then replace the "him" part with something else...
like thay said, go join a group.. learn to cook, learn to dance, do volunteer work... you will not feel so lonely as there is activity with others...
who knows? you might find the company of others more fulfilling than a dead-end and pointless misery of that affair.. mostly, it gives you something else to do which will take your mind off that jerk...
you will make friends during those activities.. which will widen your outlook, widen your social circle, widen your horizons...
try the CC.. they have such courses.. and they're after work hours..
you'll even have fun..
within yourself, you already know what you must do.. for the good of your child and yourself..
good luck!
Originally posted by Grace of God:Apreciate all your kindness and words of encourage instead of belittle me. THANK YOU ALL.
then .... you go out and meet people ... join a club, an interest group, call up old friends, sign up for cooking class, karaoke, morning taiji, whatever, go do volunteer work, with the old folks, the disabled, the kids ... you'll find your problems so insignificant compared to their lot in life ...
I do not know how to start and move out / on as I am a introvert even though I am a working mum. I do not socialize and do not have "friends".
My life only work / kid / him.
when you scratch out the "him", you'd find yourself with lots of time, neh ?
There are so many things to do in life ...again, seek, and ye shall find, it's important to love yourself ...
and if you're keen on volunteer work, there's at least 1 person in this forum who can set you up on that .... this lady is doing awesome work ...
Leave him if he truly loves his wife and kids.
That will do both good.
If he sign divorce paper, then that is different. You can happily move in with him.
If have not sign, I would suggest dont move in any further.
Originally posted by likeyou:Leave him if he truly loves his wife and kids.
That will do both good.
If he sign divorce paper, then that is different. You can happily move in with him.
If have not sign, I would suggest dont move in any further.
he's cheated with her.. what makes you think he won't cheat on her?
Originally posted by the Bear:
he's cheated with her.. what makes you think he won't cheat on her?
I dont/cant get you what you mean.
He cheated his present wife?
I would like to ask a stupid question do I move OUT first or do I find something to occupy my time first or concurrent????
Do I have to tell my kid why HE is out of our life and will not see him again and how to tell my kid ……….. SIGH!!!!!!
Sorry I'm really very very LOST!
How do I start and where do I start, as I mentioned I am not a sociable person and I feel very uncomfortable joining anything on my own without knowing anyone.
You are living with him now?
I mean move OUT of the relationship. I have a home of my own.
BTW he is my colleague ........... I will still see him everyday even if I leave him.
Originally posted by Grace of God:I would like to ask a stupid question do I move OUT first or do I find something to occupy my time first or concurrent????
Do I have to tell my kid why HE is out of our life and will not see him again and how to tell my kid ……….. SIGH!!!!!!
Sorry I'm really very very LOST!
How do I start and where do I start, as I mentioned I am not a sociable person and I feel very uncomfortable joining anything on my own without knowing anyone.
how are you going to start a new chapter in your life without formally closing another ?
and your kid is a teen ..... give him or her credit .... they are more understanding about such things than you think .... kid would probably be relived ....
as to how do you start, why don't you think about it a bit yourself first ? it's basically your life, really ... you have to take the first step to reach out yourself.
I would tell you to start here but there are more creeps, creepier than the one you left behind, lurking online than you think ... remember, your objective is to make more friends and widen your social circle .... not to look for a rebound ...
Originally posted by Grace of God:I mean move OUT of the relationship. I have a home of my own.
BTW he is my colleague ........... I will still see him everyday even if I leave him.
Wow, colleagues, then you will have to work double hard to get out of the relationship. Do you have any intention to resign and find job elsewhere?
Originally posted by Grace of God:I mean move OUT of the relationship. I have a home of my own.
BTW he is my colleague ........... I will still see him everyday even if I leave him.
even better ! ....
time to look for a new job too if you're uncomfortable ...
or you can stick around and show that you're perfectly happy without him ..... this would be sticking another finger up at him ....
Originally posted by Grace of God:I mean move OUT of the relationship. I have a home of my own.
BTW he is my colleague ........... I will still see him everyday even if I leave him.
That is a very tricky relationship!
It will be very awful to see him everyday in the office.
Think of your kids, move out if he still love his wife and kids.
please do not get in between a married couples life. From the start you should know already. He has a family and he is NOT for you.
Do your part to clean any desires you have for him and there will not be any tiger woods episode.
gal, now put urself in his wife's shoe..
how would u feel if a third party tells u tat ur husband is having an affair with her.
u just have to let go..
both of u are in the wrong..
life is never fair.
guy is never trustworthy.
drop him now n change a job.
constant seeing each other wont do u any good.
women are emotional creatures, we rem every single details; sweet n bitter.
men dun, they can move on and forget abt everything in the past.
i noe u dun deserve it but it has happened. u need to help urself.
my sincere regards to u..
Dont play with fire, for this case, a 3rd party. Spare a thought for his/her spouse and childrens.
Move on, leave him alone.
It is not the end of the world.
There are many good guys out there for you.
Move on.
The reason you are unable to leave is that you felt deprived of your current status and past bad experience and thus you just grab anyone that come by your way.
I cannot change job and do not wish to change because not easy to find job as a lady my age and the pay. Especially I have to support my kid, with only 1 income.
Originally posted by Grace of God:I cannot change job and do not wish to change because not easy to find job as a lady my age and the pay. Especially I have to support my kid, with only 1 income.
then be strong.. do what fatum advised...
just live your life without him, show him that you can live without him, it is a "stick this up your arse" to him..
make the decision, live your life well... in the meantime, go out and make more friends through courses like i mentioned.. there are plenty out there...
be strong.. make your mind up, stick with it.. you'll make it!
You have so far asked questions on what "I" should do, but have you at least talk to your teenage child yet or asked him what he thinks? I have to agree with some that as a divorcee, you should at least understand what will happen to other other family in case he really divorced that family.
Love is "blind" but at least you have start questioning. Like what some suggested, why would he want a divorce when he had the "best" of both world. Don't just think about yourself, think about others beside you as well. Think about the one that is closest to you now.
Hope I could move on ............. its tough because I have no support and or even friend that I could talk to.
Originally posted by Grace of God:I have tried leaving him BUT.....................
( Fatum - "there are hordes of nice, eligible men out there, if you'd just have the courage to seek again." )
Yes but who would want a divorcee with kid .............
Just like one of the forum posted here that the man fall in love with this lady and after knowing that she is a divorcee and with kid ............ he retreat.
i disagree.
if you like someone enough you will accept the fact that she has a kid.