Meaning of this?
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Originally posted by FireIce:
congratz
u are the spare tyre
Wazhan....can try a little subtlety anot
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actually also not really she is my fan or etc. cos she is actually better than me. in terms of like, talent, etc etc. like i am just a plain joe. whereas she is good in this and that.
hmm, prolly i am just there at the point of time too.
anyway, i am still trying to know her better. so hopefully if she is the one. then ok la. else also cant force.
but sometimes its just hard. cos i dunno how to put her aside of my mind
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mitgalant,
She ask you whether u r single and always complain about her happiness..means good sign for you lah. Sorry to say, I am quite conservative one, perhaps your fear of not calling her is very right...
If you want to sms or call her...make sure you have a good reason to do so. Don't just call her out of the blue and tell her how much you like her. If she's a good gal (0.01% chance), she'll probably fall into your arms. If she's a bad gal, she most likely (99.9%) tell all your office colleagues and friends about what you said to her. You most likely come back to office feeling strange why your co-workers talk to you in rather strange way.
Best is...let everything flow naturally. If she really likes you, she'll come to you. If you need to do a lot of chasing...could mean she is trying to tiew ka (bargain)...which in any case it is not favourable for you. Firstly if you want to pull out halfway, you'll most likely face backlash from everyone around you. Secondly, you may have to go all the way.....face the pain of the game...like our good fren Hseng.
Again best is...make friends with her first. If she can't be friends, no point going to the next step. Most of my married friends always found their life partner this way, they start off as friends first - there is mutual respect and everlasting relationship and most important...privacy. Of course, you need to do the first move but excessive chasing after the gal...means you are already in the quicksand game...and you're fast sinking.
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yup. i do get it. well, recently we did go out together to exercise together as a group also. but well, i get to spend some time alone with her while exercising.
the thing is becos i kinda like her, that's why i will get tongue tied when i speak to her. well, i guess she should have know i like her. i think it's pretty obvious from what i have gather
well, just not sure why if she is not interested then why dont just ignore me or give me a more cold shoulder?
instead, she still talk to me, allow me to pick her up once etc. well. i also dunno why too. is she also trying to get to know me more? or i am just thinking way too much.
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girls like confirmation. just like police officers. they can have all the confirmation in the world pointing towards u as the accuse still they want a confession. anyway wat u think might be wat shes thinking as well. she might be thinking whether u interested in her. its human to fear rejection
just continue to treat her well.. slow and steady.
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well, sometimes she allow me to fetch her, sometimes she doesnt want.
so its like. its not even a clear sign if she is interested or not. i also duno what i should do. like. if she is interested of course more motivated, but if she isnt, then i will be kinda very... down, moody. sian etc etc.
my friend did told me, she nv reject my advancement which is good, cos normally if ppl dont like you, they wont even wanna talk to u etc
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TS,
Your stance is such that you are setting youself up to only be miserable. It is palbable that you have no love to share and yet you would like to very much partake of her. Beggarly love has nothing to share, it can only take, in other words, it hopes to fulfilled and no one can fulfill that for long. Love is meant for giving not taking. Hence the word forgive and forgiveness - for giving and forgiving
Man, love is not business and when it is made into one - it is no longer love but a transaction , a compromise and simply put, an ego trip. It is a mutual benefit scheme lar!
Be fulfillled in your self, self minus the ego and you would be ok with ... whether she reciprocates or not. Otherwise, two things are going to be the mainstay of your daily living - anguish of the past and anxiety of the future.
Till what is lacking within oneself is unresolved, one may ignore, pretend or be completely ignorant to that lack but it would surface.
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Originally posted by mitgalant:
well, sometimes she allow me to fetch her, sometimes she doesnt want.
so its like. its not even a clear sign if she is interested or not. i also duno what i should do. like. if she is interested of course more motivated, but if she isnt, then i will be kinda very... down, moody. sian etc etc.
my friend did told me, she nv reject my advancement which is good, cos normally if ppl dont like you, they wont even wanna talk to u etc
mit,
your motivation comes from what you are going to get out of your contribution ?
Then my boy, don't even bother.
You doing this not out of love.. but out of what you can get out of this relationship.
But I pity her if she does choose you.. for this is but a barter.. and nothing else.
Shoud one day she is again unable to give you what you want.. will you be dejected .. and let the relationship goes to rot once more?
A woman is not as stupid as you think MIT, save your efforts for something else.. or risk the heart break of another undeserving of such misery.
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MIT,
If this gal really likes you, she will come to you. She gives hot and cold...so don't bother beating yourself over it. Continue to be her friend and don't get obsess over her. The fact that you are writing to us...just shows that your heart is confuse and is not clear of her intentions. Just proves one thing, I don't think this may work. Move on.
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told you to give yourself a reasonable time frame lor....time's up..move...
one thing about young guy's love is erroneously persistent - for what?
love smart....if women taught us that way...teach them back triple....
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the modern hero is smart, not hard...they wanna see your grace under pressure...
bish them..they love the anti-heroes....they love the adventure of blow hard and cold...give it to them...
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huh move on? erm i just only like started like 1 mth ago only. just that i dont see the fruits now. i know it's alil too fast too. but just that, i think its human nature to want to see some results in my "pursuing"
just wondering,
will there be like, example. the girl dont like you at first, but slowly after what u did, she got touched and start to get attracted to you?
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Some courtships move faster than 2/3 weeks. Look, I am not asking you to give up. Probably, you can keep in touch with her as a friend. Do things together as friends. If she really likes you, she come to you. If she openly flirts at you in front of everyone - be careful, she may be leading you on. But if she does it discreetly, you may still have a chance - just keep cool and everything will come naturally.
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Originally posted by mitgalant:
huh move on? erm i just only like started like 1 mth ago only. just that i dont see the fruits now. i know it's alil too fast too. but just that, i think its human nature to want to see some results in my "pursuing"
just wondering,
will there be like, example. the girl dont like you at first, but slowly after what u did, she got touched and start to get attracted to you?
"will there be like, example. the girl dont like you at first, but slowly after what u did, she got touched and start to get attracted to you?"
Got lah.. plenty of such example... because you are her 10th Choice. The first 9 guys never accept her...... you are there.. you beri lucky lor !!!
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Some courtships move faster than 2/3 weeks. Look, I am not asking you to give up. Probably, you can keep in touch with her as a friend. Do things together as friends. If she really likes you, she come to you. If she openly flirts at you in front of everyone - be careful, she may be leading you on. But if she does it discreetly, you may still have a chance - just keep cool and everything will come naturally.
actually i am friends with her now. we still go out together etc but of course in a group stage. well, prolly because of our age too, we dont flirt with one another. in front or behind of one another, our communications are all pure and no flirts at all.
well, i think she kind of cant put her past behind her as well. so probably this is the part where i also cant do much. however i treated her better than any of our female friends and i believe she should have the vibe that i like her.