i have a Problem Where I cannot mix around with the people around me ( especially in school). Guess i m introvert kind of guy But this Has been a long problem which leads to my low confidence in life .. Any advice To help me ? =(
Why you can't mix with them? Shy? Can't click? Uncomfortable being around them?
Just to let you know you're not the only one in this world, me too. I can't really mix with people around me and my social circle is small.
same here
U need to go to army training to turn you from Boy to Man.

Hmm, low self-esteem is something that people usually face, after things that have happened in the past. For example, people who are rejected by girls the 1st time have a harder time picking himself up as compared when the girl is constantly accepted til he was finally rejected.. Another factor, it may be due to ur upbringing, as researches has shown that most ppl with low self esteem is due to their childhood.. especially when their parents keep scolding their child "stupid!" or any other negative connotations. which might led to such low esteem..
i suppose you do have a good friend in life? if you do, i advise you be talk to him more about things, and share more of your troubles. Knowing someone that would be there for you will improve your self esteem definately.. That friend could be your uncle, aunt, or someone whom you can trust. Another advice is, whenever you wake up in the morning, tell yourself positive things, like " i am HANDSOME!" or "I am ..." which is troubling you.. your sub conciousness will soon slowly adapt to what you have said, and it will definately boost your morale..
Hi...I juz signed up for this. was hoping to get advice and I guess I'm not the only person with low self-esteem and having problems at home and issues with myself. It's also bad when u don't have a good friend to talk to. I've had this problem for many years actually, since I was a teen. I'm 30 this year and not doing good in life and work. I wanted to talk to a psychiatrist or a counsellor but the charges are high. I heard of IMH but I also heard that there is a social stigma and that it would be hard to get a job because employers can easily check your records.
Originally posted by ari87H:Hi...I juz signed up for this. was hoping to get advice and I guess I'm not the only person with low self-esteem and having problems at home and issues with myself. It's also bad when u don't have a good friend to talk to. I've had this problem for many years actually, since I was a teen. I'm 30 this year and not doing good in life and work. I wanted to talk to a psychiatrist or a counsellor but the charges are high. I heard of IMH but I also heard that there is a social stigma and that it would be hard to get a job because employers can easily check your records.
I am not a expert in boosting up your morale but i just try to give some opinions of mine.. i understand that low self esteem is quite a common thing nowadays. not confident abt what you do is a serious problem.. i am sure most people would know ill-effects such as "believing oneself as a failure in life" or "finding life meaningless".. to counter such negative thoughts, however, it is best to see a professional psychiatrist.. but all in all, if you do not have a good friend to talk to, it will not be helpful as those who have good reliable friends.. now the more impt thing is, when do you have low self esteem? in all the things that you do? or only certain things? to build up your confidence, 1st you really need to build up urself, n tell yourself, in everything you do, no matter what the outcome, you will succeed..
For instance, lets say a common issue, low self esteem that affects you not to make new frens.. thinking of yourself as not "one of them" or seeing them as people that are much much better than you.. As of such, at home, try to list out all of your strengths 1st.. Look at those strengths and tell yourself.. Why should i be of such low esteem when i got all these strengths.. Convince yourself in believing that, you are a person who has actually strengths, n Focus on these strengths.. Next, you work on these strengths.. For instance, you are good at cooking.. improve your cooking skills, develop a passion for it.. n be proud of it.. focusing on your strengths will build up a more positive mindset for yourself.. Develop your strengths 1st.. rather than despising your weaknesses.. Once you get yrself up, meaning, having boost of a morale.. try finding friends that you could actually talk to.. or maybe find time, trying to help others.. the things that you assist to others might be a little thing, maybe that doesnt take up more than an hr, but it is definately effective as from that little point, you are ACTUALLY helping others.. This shows that you made a tiny difference in their lives.. N tell urself this would be one reason, y you are different from others.. Look, i agree that there are many people that help people, but on the other hand.. there are definately more people that do not bother to help others.. This will soon be a virtue.. n wont you have a morale boost? I understand nowadays people do not say "Thank You" often.. everytime you helped others, just treat it as they have said a thank you.. Happiness is often regarded as a booster in self esteem..
After you gotten all these things right, you MUST be confident of what you do.. no matter what.. let me ask you a simple qn.. IF you have a girl that you really like, whats the difference between of you walking straight up to her and say hi, and of you standing here, gazing at her, just plainly admiring her? The difference is, in case no.1, you have the chance of making her as a new friend, but as for case no. 2, you dun even get a chance of knowing her, not even said getting into a relationship..
So, what you need to do is to seek affirmation.. Focus on your strengths and DUN give up in whatever you do.. Think on the sides of optimistic.. If you tell yourself, "This week is gonna be great", IT WILL BE, but if you say, "Nah, bad week ahead" you will most likely experience some things that will disturb you.. this is all due to some power of our sub-concious minds.. One last impt thing is.. try getting your family to support you in whatever you do.. it will give your confidence a push.. and when you succeed in doing a thing 1 time, there will always be a SECOND time, and so forth.. once you get ur feets right up, you will began to look back at your past n notice, how life could be good if you live life optimistically..
Hope you notice your strengths, and dun keep looking at your flaws.. Cheers.. =D
same luh
nvm one luh, just live on man dude
Thanks for the advice, yourtrustedresource. I am a female, by the way. Actually, my weaknessess exceed my strengths but yes, like u mentioned,i should focus on my strengths, however few they are. And, I don't have my family's support- they somehow place a price tag on love and since I'm not doing so well in my work,in fact, really terrible, my family has regarded me as unreliable and basically, I'm the black sheep in my family. My siblings hold stable jobs except me. I've put on weight over the years and health hasn't been good because I just can't see myself and unable to pull up myself and the fact that my family and relatives look down on me just doesn't help. I can't seem to concentrate on work and it has gotten worse the past few weeks. I don't want to be like my father but sometimes I feel I am in every way like him. Sometimes I blame my family for whatever that has happened to me but what's done is done ; I just want to move on. It's hard but I am trying to pull myself up coz afterall, it's up to me. Thanks again.
Originally posted by ari87H:Thanks for the advice, yourtrustedresource. I am a female, by the way. Actually, my weaknessess exceed my strengths but yes, like u mentioned,i should focus on my strengths, however few they are. And, I don't have my family's support- they somehow place a price tag on love and since I'm not doing so well in my work,in fact, really terrible, my family has regarded me as unreliable and basically, I'm the black sheep in my family. My siblings hold stable jobs except me. I've put on weight over the years and health hasn't been good because I just can't see myself and unable to pull up myself and the fact that my family and relatives look down on me just doesn't help. I can't seem to concentrate on work and it has gotten worse the past few weeks. I don't want to be like my father but sometimes I feel I am in every way like him. Sometimes I blame my family for whatever that has happened to me but what's done is done ; I just want to move on. It's hard but I am trying to pull myself up coz afterall, it's up to me. Thanks again.
Your life is Yours.. Even if ur parents, is actually looking down on you, and the rest of ur relatives is looking down on you, the most impt thing is not to look down at yrself.. Tell yrself one thing, you do not have to prove yrself to be something that people want you to be. its yr life, dun let anyone influence you on what you want to be.. always seek what you want to do.. have determination, and lets say you want to have a better figure, try pasting a model with a good figure on ur wall.. whenever you wake up, tell urself, you want to be like her, and get her figure.. and do something abt it.. like waking up just abit earlier in the for a nice morning jog, and enjoy the breeze.. but do not do things like starving urself.. i noe you get what i meant.. as for your job, i understand that it is going to be tough, and if you think that you can, i mean you can, improve, take up courses, read more general topics online, widen your knowledge, and you will learn there are actually many wonderful things in life..
i had my relative, that has only a pri 6 education, i mean in the olden days, this yr ard 40, but he became a manager, just because of his willingness to upgrade himself.. constantly attending courses.. no matter how hard life is, just push on.. once you accept yrself.. ppl will start accepting you..
I always being left out as the black sheep of the class =(
Originally posted by JonJon92:I always being left out as the black sheep of the class =(
Why label as a black sheep in the class?
Did you do anything that offend your classmates?
I haf Body odur that is strong thats all ..
I haf only two friends in my life.. is that pathetic?
Originally posted by JonJon92:I haf only two friends in my life.. is that pathetic?
nope....quality counts, not quantity
Apply powder on your body when you go to school.
Only 2 frd? Your classmates?
2 friends from 4 years of sec sch . now diff schs le
That is not the end of your life.
Is the body odour of yours really affected your relationship with your classmates?
Originally posted by JonJon92:2 friends from 4 years of sec sch . now diff schs le
keep in contact with them ba.....share common interests on a regular basis
Hais..
Apologise to them and let them know you have body adour and you are trying your best to apply powder. Your classmates will understand you.
Btw, maybe you need extra pe shirt /uniform to bring along in case you sweat, you may change into a new one.
Hey JonJon, can't believe I found another person with the same problem!
I have body odour too (I don't know if it's strong or not) because I sweat easily and I know some of my classmates doesn't like me.
Originally posted by RoyFang:Hey JonJon, can't believe I found another person with the same problem!
I have body odour too (I don't know if it's strong or not) because I sweat easily and I know some of my classmates doesn't like me.
All of them dun like me
hang around more on facebook.com