Y like that?
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This 2 weeks been feeling extremely upset... here's the story...
5 weeks ago, met this girl and her friend in school. Well, I met her last Semester but never really took an interest in her and didn't really talk to her at all. So surprisingly, she asked me where I was going, then we went to eat together then she asked me for my MSN, then asked me for my faceBook. I tell her don't have, don't want to create also. Then she brought me along to tour around the school. See see the exibits.
Then she asked me about Toku stuff(Toku is erm... Power Rangers.), say she liked blahblah because the actor handsome. I was like WTF?! From what I know she also not into these kind of things de. Then she asked me next time help her with her homework(Yeah right, I am slacker than her a 1000 times.).
So for the next 3 weeks, I kind of begun to like her. So every night MSN, I would purposely put funny Display Names to test water see she will come and ask about it or not. Surprisingly she always did(First time lehz, even my best friends also f**k care me). Then in school everytime got break will try to accidentally bump into her. She see me will wave at me one. Then got time(Okay, happened 2 times only, since the following week something happened...) she will bring me around school see the exibits or go do homework together(She always with her girlfriend though.). Then always ask me what I eat, then ask me got watch this anime not? Blahblahblah.
Then 3 weeks ago, it happened on a Tuesday. I was taking bus back home with her. Just nice the 3 guys not around. I thought could spend more time with her. Then when reach the MRT Station, she asked me, you not going down? Then I told her take to Interchange(Coz' we usually do! And I want to take MRT with her, why would I alight?!). So she thought for awhile then said, then I alight liao. As she is alighting she still smiled at me. I thought hint lehz! So I followed her alight. But I never chase after her lah. I just slowly walk, but she walk quite fast 1. So I missed the MRT she was in. Then I SMS her, why walk so fast? I thought it was okay, because the previous night we were on MSN discussing why she walk so fast?
Then after that... the entire week I never saw her online. I saw her in school, tried to approach her but she hide behind her friend and cheekily say why you scare me? Then Friday night I SMSed her, asked her want to go out or not, because I got this free ticket mah? I tried to make sure she did not get the wrong idea by going around school asking people want to go or not infront of her. I scare she too fast know I like her then GG liao. But she replied, No, she very busy. Then okay lo.
Then Sat. I still didn't see her online. So I have this hunch, so I went to ask my friend and did some sneaky checks on MSN, realized she deleted me from her MSN list... then I go see her faceBook, her Wall I got restricted. I was like WTF? What did I ever do? So that Sunday, I tried to SMS her out wanted to ask why and stuff, but I did it in a jokingly manner lah, I sent 4 SMS throughout the day she never replied, so the last one I just confessed I liked her.
So the following Monday, I go school damn depressed especially when I see her. Then I tried to approach her... same reaction lo, she cheekily ask me why I scare her? Then later she called me, at first I was happy then she said, don't sent me weird SMSes. I said okay lo. So the whole week I damn sad, coz' I didn't know what happened. So I asked my friend to ask her. My friend came back and told me its because she knows I like her. Okay... but she did all that nasty stuff before I confessed, need to until like that meh? Then the very night, she came online! I was surprised then she told me lets just be friends ok? So I told her I don't know. But I did realized her facebook photo I also cannot view liao. WTH did I ever do to her?
So the entire CNY I been thinking of what to do? Are we still friends or not? So I typed a very long message then sent to her on facebook. Surprisingly, she took the time to typed back a very long message. To cut it short she said We are friends, for now that is. She said that she saw me always alone so thought want to be my friend. Then told me we only know each other 3 weeks, so when I confessed she quite shocked(WEI! Who botai boji deleted me from MSN, make me kancheong de?!). Then she say her faceBook she got right to allow who to know her, so don't ask her to allow me to view or she will delete her account. Then tell me say we need space for now, anything email her. Then tell me don't wait for her.
Then very sad lo... The entire week I go school keep siaming her, keep siaming my friends. Coz' all same click. Very tiring also. Now I want do homework also cannot concentrate. I really liked her lo... Hai...
Now I ish wanna dun care, but I everyday see her in school, somemore I still like her, how to not bother me??? I very sad lo.
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From what I've read, I kinda feel sorry for you dude since you went with your instincts and all and it went downhill, but I suppose the whole MRT thing was kinda abrupt.
Perhaps she too, was unsure of her feelings or just "testing waters" and maybe needed some time to confirm her feelings but then things suddenly accelerated and I guess she took a step back and thought, does she really want this to carry on, can she commit, etc?
If anything I'll just give the usual cliche advise, focus on other things and let things cool off, perhaps call your secondary school friends out or something, since I'm guessing you're in Poly?
One thing's weird for sure that's been bugging me, why keep showing around school, so fancy meh? Unless it's NIE, then I understand <.< >.>
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How u noe is NIE? Near there anyway.
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TOO BAD
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Because the bloody bookshop means I've to walked through the super-long corridor although I was pleasantly surprised since it looked so much smaller from the outside.
Anyway, I guess it can't be helped and it's best to stop contacting her unless she's the one who messaged/called you first, to which, be careful with your actions, or you might repeat the cycle all over again.
I hope you won't dwell on the things she mentioned/did such as thinking you're alone and trying to be befriend you, blocking her profile etc, trying to figure what you did wrong, as it really can get you frustrated, confused and hurt.
Letting go is definitely much better than pining for thin air. Just my 2 cents though!
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Very_Sad,
That girl is probably very inexperienced with dealing with boys who are interested in her lah.
She probably has feelings for you.. but is scared of her own feelings towards guys.
I think you are coming on too fast ...
I can assure you hor.. the moment she sees you hugging another gal.. she will start to regret how she treated you.. maybe go toilet and cry quietly....
Unless you are stalking her.. there's other reasons you are being blocked on her MSN/Facebook. Perhaps.. she uses the facebook to DISCUSS about you to her friends... and she doesn't want you to see lor. Girls at that age... tends to seek peer approval when they are unsure....
so ah.. just relax lah... have some patience....let her figure out her feelings first.
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it's either you've got played or you've overplayed the courting....a word of advice, girls generally like the cool guy strutt...your frequent sms and trying to get her attention is a no no...you should have played it less anxious but since it has come to this point, don't initiate anything now, treat her as you would with a friend and let her pick things up, if she ever come to....otherwise, as i would tell my kids, studies over relationship, career over marriage, education is the only thing that cannot harm you, it gives you freedom, independence and influence....
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from the post u sound sooo full of yrself .
u deserve it loh
2 proud ppl cannot get together 1
wan to get into a relationship best is be natural , u act here act here, think here think there, sure fail 1
for yr case u have to find some1 that always have to read yr mind and gave in to u.
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Got do thing also wrong... never do anything also wrong... wah lau.
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haha first hand experience with relationship.
bro not easy right..
I believe all of us here went through the same phase.
I agree with the others that you are pushing too hard on the gal and I too made the same mistake too
The idea of chasing a gal is to first gain the support of her close firends, this is something that i learnt the hard way. Without them you will be fighting losing battle.
(Ways to chase a gal who rejects you because you push too hard.)
1) Step back away from the gal do not sms, do not email, do not msn, nothing, Just remember this, the gal is too scare of you, anything you do will prevent her from going back to you as friend.
2) Next target her friends, treat her friends well, go out with them, have fun with them.
3) Declare that you and her are just friends among her friends and nothing else, this helps to feel less defensive and slowly allow you back to her life.
4) The idea is take it slow and steady, to go after a gal that you like you must not rush, slowly enter her life as a friend and show that you really care for her then she will feel more willing to accept you.
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Originally posted by VERY_SAD-_-:
Got do thing also wrong... never do anything also wrong... wah lau.
the concept is very easy lah...
you ever go fishing before ?
Wooing a girl is like fishing . OK ? Good.
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I waiting for the move on guy. :) Coz' every thread will have 1 or 2.
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Originally posted by VERY_SAD-_-:
I waiting for the move on guy. :) Coz' every thread will have 1 or 2.
Okay, move on.
Take her words for it, and just treat her as a distance friend.
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Kidding nia lah, but do u mean it?
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What's happenning to boys nowadays?
A girl says hello to them, and they go gaga and drool all over the place, and then wonder what's with the girl.
Hey its a school environment man er .. boy, make friends, lots of friends, both boy and girl. That's what she is doing, and boy you look like you are ready to marry her!
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Hope you've learned a lesson here. The message she made to you was very clear.
Anyway like what other have said, Move on. Its hard and it takes time.
And I'm very sure you're not the only one who have mistaken a girls friendliness for affection.
Its all part of growing up and then realising that woman are a totally different species altogether.
Should have been more patient, who know something might developed if you didn't scare her and she got to know you better.
To me I feel you made the mistake of telling her you liked her too early and behaving like an like obessed stalker. Girls get frightened like that. It was way too early.
And please read what you've written
"Well, I met her last Semester but never really took an interest in her and didn't really talk to her at all"
I believe you were infatuation by her generosity and friendliness. It isn't real love =)
But nothing to be ashamed of. Its all part of growing up. You aren't the only one.
My advice is to just move on and lay low for awhile, try to avoid her but don't make it obvious or she will think you're the "xiao qi" type. Carry on with life as normal. If you see her act cool and say hi, and nothing else. Go back to the time before you liked her and treat her like everybody else.
Hang around your real buddies in class/school and time will seem to fly faster =)
DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT AVOID HER ON PURPOSE. SHE WILL DEFINATELY THINK YOU'RE A WANKER AND THAT IS ENOUGH TO JUSTIFY HER REJECTING YOU. ACT NORMAL. REMEMBER!!
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours, if they don't they never were meant to be. =)
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Argh... very tired ah. Now I am constantly avoiding everyone. I am not even talking in school. Whole day appetite. Order food oso cannot eat finish...
... I juz dunwanna care.
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rest in peace
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Woah, suddenli can see her fackbook wall liao...
Seriously though, I quite scare becoz' everytime I get into a misunderstanding with people 99 percent of the time they dun come tok to mi then we will never tok again. But this time... I dunwan tis kind of outcome lehx.
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Very_Sad,
This may sound silly but you should start to cheer yourself up. Forget about her and move on. Act as if nothing happen. Yes you are damnnnn right, you never did anything wrong, you just acted out of natural instincts.
Now hear me out, I am giving you free lessons, I am so charitable. You never learn unless you have years of experience.
Now act as if nothing happen. Convince yourself you never did anything wrong. Also, the fact that she doesn't like you (hurts? Well sorry you have to take the poison). Go to school, smile - even show your teeth. If you happen to bump into her, show her how cheerful you are by smiling and walking in a happy mood. Occassionally you should also humm some tunes - maybe you can sing some Christmas Carol tunes - "lalalalaala". You don't need to remember the lyrics, just humm - to show everyone around you how cheerful you are. You may be hurting inside but in the long run, this practice would make you cheerful and forget about her. Just show her that you are not affected at all.
If someone at school tries to make fun at you, they say some hurtful things and deliberately make you hear them. Just smile and humm some nice music. Also, stop avoiding your friends - instead embrace them. Start to break out, mix with them, force a conversation even if you have to. If people start avoiding you, just smile and be happy and whenever possible go and mix with people. Show them you got high self esteem and not give a crap what they think about you.
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Originally posted by Durian_bananas:
........................show her how cheerful you are by smiling and walking in a happy mood. Occassionally you should also humm some tunes - maybe you can sing some Christmas Carol tunes - "lalalalaala". You don't need to remember the lyrics, just humm - to show everyone around you how cheerful you are. You may be hurting inside but in the long run, this practice would make you cheerful and forget about her. ..........................
Can skip that part anot har? facepalm
Wont feel abit paisei and dumb meh lol ..... dun take me seriously. Good advice but walao I got goose pimples imagining myself doing that if I m in TS shoes.
Kind Regards
Genie
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ermmmmmmmm .... power rangers ? ...
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Genie99a,
Why not? I am sure women have their own arsenal of weapons to fend off would be men suitors. We men also have our own arsenal to protect our own pride. I won't feel paiseh at all. In the first place, I applaud Very_Sad for having the guts to approach her. So now he has to be very thick skin. The gal rejected him and i want him to show her that she is not as high market value as she thinks. That is the least Very_sad can do to protect his pride and make himself a better person. He should not go hiding and show his frustrations, it would only make MRT gal more excited to see him heartbroken not able to capture her heart. She would think she is so high market value. I want Very_sad to go out there and start mixing again.
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Originally posted by Durian_bananas:
Very_Sad,
This may sound silly but you should start to cheer yourself up. Forget about her and move on. Act as if nothing happen. Yes you are damnnnn right, you never did anything wrong, you just acted out of natural instincts.
Now hear me out, I am giving you free lessons, I am so charitable. You never learn unless you have years of experience.
Now act as if nothing happen. Convince yourself you never did anything wrong. Also, the fact that she doesn't like you (hurts? Well sorry you have to take the poison). Go to school, smile - even show your teeth. If you happen to bump into her, show her how cheerful you are by smiling and walking in a happy mood. Occassionally you should also humm some tunes - maybe you can sing some Christmas Carol tunes - "lalalalaala". You don't need to remember the lyrics, just humm - to show everyone around you how cheerful you are. You may be hurting inside but in the long run, this practice would make you cheerful and forget about her. Just show her that you are not affected at all.
If someone at school tries to make fun at you, they say some hurtful things and deliberately make you hear them. Just smile and humm some nice music. Also, stop avoiding your friends - instead embrace them. Start to break out, mix with them, force a conversation even if you have to. If people start avoiding you, just smile and be happy and whenever possible go and mix with people. Show them you got high self esteem and not give a crap what they think about you.
Don teach people to be like a xiao ding dong can anot ?
Just be natural and back to your old self can already.
You put on an act you think the girl won't see through it har ?
Girls not stupid ok ? Good.
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Sorry but I disagree.
Putting on a smile, behaving cheerful and full of joy is not be like a xiao ding dong. Has it got anything to do with her? No. Maybe he struck the lottery or he receive good news, that is why he is so chirpy. Let her think what she wants to think....it doesn't matter. I am just telling him to be thick skin.Nobody can behave naturally after being stung the first time. I am very sure he is shaken. So he has to go out there and boost his self esteem.