Never...........
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Yesh yr english best! *nods head*Originally posted by SunRisE:Hi Angeline,
I actually wrote jus now.. but somehow its Gone! but nvm.. i jus cut it short...
Communication is the kep point in relationship.. There;s no way to continue if communication breaks down.. You said you had a talk with him yesterday.. i hope both of you have come out with a solution with it or compromise with each other...
You bf is Sheng zai fu zhong bu zhi Fu.. You are a good gf.. but he dun Appreciate what you've done.. You can talk to him when he's not playing mahjong.. or after that... GUys cant do Two Things at one Time!! You rather you talk to him when he's playing.. and replying jus by "yes", " i know" or jus nodding his head.. meaning he undersatnd what you saying.. Which is Not! go have a good bath.. take a rest.. listen to some soft music.. when he's done then go talk to him...
Parents are always naggy.. but sometimes is for your own good.. Communicate with your parents too.. you need their attentions.. they need your attentions too.. try to haf a good chat with them... In the end if there's noone there to help you.. your parents will always be there to support always!!
You are really thoughtful... go around and search for a present that he likes.. and i guess it not cheap... Hope he will apprecaite your effort...
Life is full of ups and downs.. Things will be fine only if you solved it... dont HOPE that things will be alright after awhile.. Matters or problems will soon to come back again.. if you jus put the matter right at the back of your head.. thinking that its over.. nothing will happen... Try to come out wif a soltuion to this.. together with your bf.. n not alone...
Sharing secrets is between you and someone else.. You can chose not to tell your bf.. If he insists.. asak him whether he rather you not to say or wold rather you to lie to him.. He's making things difficult for you..
Remember try not to blow your temper up... Dun wait till when you reall cant take it then say it out.. Talk nicely.. find a good n quiet place to talk.. dun use harsh words..
All the best to You!!
P.S: Pardon me for my English!! -
hahahaa~~ no time to read again.. and edit it.. so jus post... that's why!!Originally posted by loneryu00:Yesh yr english best! *nods head* -
Geez thanks sunrise. i really appreciate what you have written thanksOriginally posted by SunRisE:hahahaa~~ no time to read again.. and edit it.. so jus post... that's why!! 
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you're welcome.. You got to relax yourself.. Dun overwork!Originally posted by IamAngeline:Geez thanks sunrise. i really appreciate what you have written thanks -
Oei... never appreciate me... "Wo Shi Gu Du De Ren..."Originally posted by IamAngeline:Geez thanks sunrise. i really appreciate what you have written thanks 
*shrugs* -
aiyo,,, my appreciation to you no need to say out one...Originally posted by loneryu00:Oei... never appreciate me... "Wo Shi Gu Du De Ren..."
*shrugs*
you can FEEL it one
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Yar...Originally posted by IamAngeline:aiyo,,, my appreciation to you no need to say out one...
you can FEEL it one
Like how "Meiya" knuckles "Xiao Xin"......
. . . . . . . . . . . .
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you want me to be like meiya? hahaOriginally posted by loneryu00:Yar...
Like how "Meiya" knuckles "Xiao Xin"......
. . . . . . . . . . . . -
"Waah?! Wo Bu Yao! Wo Bu Yao!"Originally posted by IamAngeline:you want me to be like meiya? haha
*Runs ard* -
hahahahaOriginally posted by loneryu00:"Waah?! Wo Bu Yao! Wo Bu Yao!"
*Runs ard* -
Ok lah... gtg...Originally posted by IamAngeline:hahahaha
need to run......
I "Yao Suan Bei Tong" still gotta run......
*haiz*
muz train to run from da "Meiya" knuckles...
*serious looks* -
alright seeeeeeeeeeeee u byeOriginally posted by loneryu00:Ok lah... gtg...
need to run......
I "Yao Suan Bei Tong" still gotta run......
*haiz*
muz train to run from da "Meiya" knuckles...
*serious looks* -
Dear IamAngeline,Originally posted by IamAngeline:
expect that now would be my turn to post my sorrow here
I had a talk with my bf yesterday.
it's all about us. talk about my temper lately, the things that happened to us.
he told me that I blew up my temper very easily lately. I knew that. but I couldn;t help it. I know I am very depressed and stressed over my poly attachment stuffs. In office I have no one to tok to. I was always alone. When I got home, sometimes when I see my bf play mahjong and would not bother me, I would find very annoying and sad, cos he will not even listen to a single word I said cos he so "focus" on his mahjong.
Then I would sit alone at a side to cool myself down. ever since attachment I did not contact my poly frenz cos everyone is so busy with their project. Been keeping a lot of things inside my mind...when my parents saw that I'm depressed in front of my bf, they would scold me for being petty.(they tot I'm angry with him)
When they are in bad mood, they would blow their temper to me. When I;m in bad mood, i keep quiet (to keep myself from blowing) and they also scold me.
I wanted so much attention from them(parents and bf) but they don't know. haiz.. life suxx at times.
there's this thing I kept in my mind for a very long time but I dun think it's appropriate for me to tell my bf.
He always told me that in between us we shouldn't have secrets but he actually has it and didn't tell me. well me, i would tell him anything. yesterday he ask me, ' we do not have any secrets kept right?" I didn;t say anything. but in my mind, i 'nod my head' and ans 'yes you have but you forgot that you never told me and you never meant to tell me'
he share a secret with a 'gf' of his,(well i wouldn;t mind that he has 'gf'), they tok for 5 hrs that night while they share this secret. i didn't knwo but I panick when I saw the both of them together, and the girl would msg him at times, with very sweet msgs etc...
he told me he could not tell me the 'secret' they shared as he promised thr girl but he would expect me to tell him my friends secret to him. I was so upset. but it''s his friend. I dun want to be unreasonable. so I kept it.
his bday is coming soon, so i search quite a long time for a set of 12 player pack of liverpool corinthian figures in 1995( for guys who might know) and finally got one shop to import it me from london. I was so happy when i got it. so I gave it to him....
because i know he likes soccer, so i tried all my best to learn players and team in EPL learn about what is all the so call 'odds' for soccer gambling...
but sometimes i just would like him to get more sensitive just by a little bit that would be enuff.....
I am not a person that like to blew up my temper, but I really have no one no confide in when I'm in great depression. cos my bf wouldn;t care more or less, he would just ans: relax a bit loh....
haiz... very sad lah...
hope these 2 days will get my mood better...
thanks for reading huh
cheers
Since you took quite a bit of time to type this chunk of emotional words; I would spend equal amount of time in analysing, as I doubt you want people to reply the same thing as your bf, 'Relax abit lor.'
Know why so stress? During work, women will display their masculine side - which will drain them spiritually and emotionally. Finally coming home - they seek to exude the feminine part of themselves (They want someone to listen to their woe, they want a good hug, sweet whispering of their love ones, etc) - lacking in this aspect - any woman will grown weary and tired, which is exactly what is happening to you.
Parents scolded you? Totally insane - I mean even if you were to quarrel with your bf; doesn't really got to do with them right? One thing your bf failed to do is to speak up for you - even by saying something like 'No lar, she is just feeling tired after work' that kind of thing would be good enough. Did he?
About the secret thingy - this is a pretty common case among couples (risk factors including: Possessive partners, easily jealous partners, etc) - Why you might question; people are generally devious in this manner. They want to know everything about you, but they would only let you know 90%, saving the 10% in their private 'swiss bank' deep inside their conscious mind.
Here is an analogy: Everyone wants to be loved 100%, but many would only willing to fort out 80% - because they are afraid to be hurt, afraid to be betrayed, etc. Applied to your case - its more or less similar.
Advice?
Let me ask you questions: how long have you been in your relationships? (Definitely is out of honeymoon period - I can sense routine curse befalling onto your relationship). Why am I 86.3% confident? Think about this: your bf can spend 5 hrs talking with his platonic girl friend, listening (probably advising) about situations, point of views, etc - and he can't even spend 5 minutes listening to you? Or even bother you?
You want to be a good gf, but what you are doing isn't effective in building this relation. You desire for his temporary company and attention - but you ain't telling him. Why are you keeping it to yourself? Does it really help you or *RATHER* this relationship? (Emotions & feelings ain't exchange) Isn't it more important and crucial than to exchange gossips and litte secrets?
Regarding the little secret problem that you are facing - all I can say is monkey see, monkey do. If he ain't telling you everything and claims that he has already promise his 'gf' not to reveal - just do the same next time round. I mean - tell or don't tell: does it really matter? No right? The issue is regarding the *pact* you both made to each other and if he don't honor it, you don't have to oblige and get tie down by this too.
You need to seriously have a proper chat with him IF you wish to see improvement from him. No use hoping people will change because THEY don't even know whats wrong with themselves. Keeping negative feelings to yourself ISN'T going to help this relation AT ALL. I don't blame you because you are suffering from the infamous women curse of 'I-don't-say-but-I-expect-you-to-know' kind of thingy - men are straight thinkers - they don't (most) get bothered too much about how woman really thinks. (Some try, but in the end, they never knew anyway
).
In short?
Learn to speak up your *REAL* feelings. Your key tactics is to be TACTFUL and not blunt. You want this relation to last right? It doesn't take a MCsquare, Joho or Devil1976 to predict that if you were to remain this way - this relation would be rolling towards the route of declining stage because you are BOUND to explode one day like a raging volcano that will blast at your bf so fatal that this relation will be crippled. Scars are difficult to heal and quarrels are emotionally disturbing - take things one by one and solve it as it goes than to absorb everything. You CAN'T, with passing time.
P.S: I am so sorry for this hell-of-a-long essay I have wrote people. (Sorry XLN, I know you won't be reading this... hiak hiak) Anyway, just for fun: Are you are Taurus, Capricorn, Virgo? - *accuracy not guaranteed*
Cheers -
I am sorry, I know I am naggy.
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Hi Angie,Originally posted by IamAngeline:alright seeeeeeeeeeeee u bye
The warning signs of a doomed relationship are showing.
According to your post, your bf can't really seem to be bothered with you, especially disregarding your feelings evidenced by 1. Mahjong incident 2. The secret incident. He is starting to take you for granted and may no longer love you.
I'm sure your bf has no lack of admirers which is why he doesn't cherish such a good gf.
My question to you is, when is the last time he ever did something thoughful/sweet just for you?
And yes, you have keen competitors.
Prepare for the worst. -
Fr wat u said, angeline, i think ur bf has to more sensitive to u. But had u ever told him wat u felt? As ur bf, he shld not hav a heart for others but u....... But u can even tolerate tt he is havin another gf, shows how much u love him. There are some times where we need to sit down and tok.... discuss wat is goin on. FInd out wat is his stand. What i mean is a proper calm chat , without any shoutin and outburst. I think in this way, the relationship can last longer. Better clear up any misunderstanding now , than wait to face the snowball effect of all the misunderstandings.... do u agree? some times its realli hard to get down to chat and admit all our faults.
For , Angeline... i think u must make ur stand some where.... pls dun let another women come btw u and him. KNow the whole story btw them, maybe they are just friends? find out y he prefers to tok to his "gf" than tok to u..... I think it always takes 2 hands to clap...
Try to see things fr his view point too. then maybe u 2 can do some corrections and improve on ya relationship !!! -
all i can say is love urself more
all the best -
This situation is so familiar. Hm... yeah was in that sh*t before too. Maybe it is not the sensitivity thing but for me, I think I took things a little bit for granted as everything just seemed to be so fine.Originally posted by jOhO:when my ex-gf and i were together i thot things were fine and dandy and i was really happy. after we broke-up, suddenly i had SO MANY short-comings that i didn't know about. she would tell me that i had been sh[/i]it at this and sh[/i]it at that. maybe true, maybe not, but that's not the point. had she voiced all this out, i MIGHT have changed, or taken heed, but i was lead to believe that things were good and that'd we last ages and ages.
_________
Communication is very important and you must voice out and talk about it. If not misunderstandings will occur, like what happenend to me last time. And if some severe misunderstandings occur, no matter what you do, you cannot save anything. Once a mirror is cracked, the cracks will always be there.
As for secrecy between a couple... I used to think that there should be no secrets between one. But a girl-friend of mine once told me not to be foolish. Certain secrets still has to be kept. No matter how she tells you or in your case, he, that he doesn't mind, you wouldn't know how he feels.
Anyway, you are a sweet girlfriend. Just keep on going. -
HI ppl I'm so glad I have so many people that would read my forum,
sincerely thanks..
Well, I will try my best to make things right and be trying my very best.
Very appreciate to all ur comforting and views.
Miilions of thanks guys -
Glad that you seems better already...?Originally posted by IamAngeline:HI ppl I'm so glad I have so many people that would read my forum,
sincerely thanks..
Well, I will try my best to make things right and be trying my very best.
Very appreciate to all ur comforting and views.
Miilions of thanks guys 
My personal advices for you.....
1. Do NOT have too many 'tiny thoughts'. It's not healthy for the relationship. You can reflect on things in your relationship, but try to do it in a less stressful and positive sense...
2. Try to get yourself a group of FRIENDS you can spend time with. If the people currently around you belittles you or whatever, REMEMBER... You can always get a NEW group of friends... Find this as an OPPORTUNITY to expand your social circle...
3. BALANCE OUT your Life... Do NOT be too dependent on your bf and parents for company or whatever....
If you're feeling down, you can always pour out whatever ya have to..? We'll be listening.... -
[quote]Originally posted by Devil1976:
[b]
2. Try to get yourself a group of FRIENDS you can spend time with. If the people currently around you belittles you or whatever, REMEMBER... You can always get a NEW group of friends... Find this as an OPPORTUNITY to expand your social circle... for this, a bit diff lah, keke cos bf and friends dun get along well loh, so chance going out with friends very few. he's not being possessive lah just that character and concept wise they can't get along loh.
keke then bf dun like me clubbing so never go with them so as not to make him feel upset lah...
but nvm lah, can always change my interest to others like what I have done. I actually learn to watch soccer and always 'bet' with my bf with drinks and meals when watching! keke
just have to be flexible lah -
You should ask what is the defination for "enough".....Attention for your loves one can never be enough...You get some you will ask for more. Everyone need attention. He need it too. It is just like the air we breathe in everyday....But one think to note after I read your story...he dun seem to understand your trouble even after you try to tell him....thought BF should be the one that understand his GF most...I'm not trying to create dispute betwn you and BF lah...just feel sad for you........BUt sometimes maybe is really your own mood swing thing..maybe you are under stress....Try doing things you enjoy alot aprat from work.....Try to take deep breath whenever you are not feeling right......Originally posted by IamAngeline:i did told him that i do not know why but lately i really wanted a lot of attention from him, he ask me dis: didn't i give you enuff attention meh?'
by then I'm stuck tongue tied dunno how should i continue my conversation.
I understand how terrible it is if I was to tell him,"I am very sensitive to XXXX, cos you kept both of ur secret to me and I dunno" i mean it's his friend, i couldn;t be unreasonable.....
his poly friends all don't like me especially the females(reason you all should know lah) I remember the 1st time i met them I bought my favourite chocolates for them(with liquor). and you know what they say behind my back, they say I'm a spendthrift and would spend all my bf's $$. but I dare to say that I didn;t spend his $$ always. we treat each other for dinner or but special gifts in turns.. I cried when I heard that.. I just want to meant gd to them but this is how they 'stab' me behind....
but dun want my bf to stuck, i choose to tolerate...
haizzz... life really suxxxxx
Regards,
Brendon -
So how U feeling todae? Still got ppl giving U advices, cheering U up, some other comments... & 1 loooong post from a certain some 1 here... (as usual... somemore need to see post...)Originally posted by IamAngeline:alright seeeeeeeeeeeee u bye
Lets juz sae we r ALL learning how to be a better person & how to face our lives & live a fulfiling & meaningful 1... U may tink I gave U some "good" advices... (izzit good?) but I too m learning juz like every1 in dis world...
BTW, yesterdae run... see gals looking at me... but all young 1s... Am I really da type who attracts "gal guides" rather than those near my age???
Wats da world coming to?! I muz reflect & learn on dis point... *Yi Lian Zheng Jing* -
hmmm... you very old meh??? hahaOriginally posted by loneryu00:So how U feeling todae? Still got ppl giving U advices, cheering U up, some other comments... & 1 loooong post from a certain some 1 here... (as usual... somemore need to see post...)
Lets juz sae we r ALL learning how to be a better person & how to face our lives & live a fulfiling & meaningful 1... U may tink I gave U some "good" advices... (izzit good?) but I too m learning juz like every1 in dis world...
BTW, yesterdae run... see gals looking at me... but all young 1s... Am I really da type who attracts "gal guides" rather than those near my age???
Wats da world coming to?! I muz reflect & learn on dis point... *Yi Lian Zheng Jing*
well at least there;s ppl admire you lah -
Hai! I old liao... well... still young adult lah...Originally posted by IamAngeline:hmmm... you very old meh??? haha
well at least there;s ppl admire you lah
Those ppl admire me simply coz:
1. I look young
2. They r young & ignorant
3. Anything to do wif "young"...
*nods head*