Too much friends?
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I'm getting abit sick of this. I'm a well-balanced person. On each day, i try to spent time with my different groups of friends. Like for example, I'm hanging out with my friends lets call it group A. Then the next day i hang out with Group B. Then saturday, afternoon with Group C then night time i hang out with Group D and so on. Well this next sunday is one of my friends from Group B Birthday and I need to attend because we're quite close but I forgot on that day i have booked my plans with Group C. Ahhh this is really making my head hurts. Then recently, I was hated by some of the person from Group A because I keep on turning them down about asking me out but i cant help it as i got busy with my other group of friends.
And this kind of mindset stuck in me, i must find time to hang out with all of them after work or else, they will hate me thinking that im stingy. I dont want them to think of me that way especially the ones that i really like. I told my problem to my brother and he said that i having too much friends. There's no harm droppiing a few friends. He also said that this sentence to me which quite giving me abit of a boost "dont risk a thousand lives just to save one". Not sure what does it really means but it kinda grows on me. And my one of my cousin also think im stingy now because i used to hang out with him now not anymore. Oh and remember that guy who offer me his umbrella, I keep on turning him down on his offer to ask me out now he stop smsing me thinking im "action". This really sucks.
Do anyone of u guys got this problem before? pls advice i really need some tips now.
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ohhhh I'm sure we have ppl here that have too much friends eh...?
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Yes im sure of it. Thats why i need help about this problem -.- Bet u guys got experience about this, so how u handle it?
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i used to have this problem, but once i got a gf and ignored them, the problem went away.
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so u were saying if i got a bf, this problem will go away?
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my gf also have this problem.
however what i feel is that if they are really your friends, they should be understanding and not "force" you to be with them, all the time.
and because of 1 incident which my gf and me can only go to this outing for 1 hour as my gf is super tired, the whole group condemned me n my gf, nv askin us out again which i think to this day, this group of so-called friends is really not worth it... and we dun even care and bother about this group of ppl again.
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Originally posted by Simple~Gal:
so u were saying if i got a bf, this problem will go away?
don't do this...it may seem a quick remedy at first but in fact its a sweet poison...it will hit u very hard one day..because its such an easy way out, eventually u will use it even to ur closest friend subconsciously..happened to me...had a gf and neglected everyone ard me..had in mind that, she's my everything.. well, then reality hits so hard when my relationship ended, along with my social life. Trust me, it is very very hard to fit back in again...so yea, learn from my fail.If ur purpose to get into a relationship just to diss them off, and if the guy is serious, then u are hurting him. If the guys is out for fun, the one on the losing end is u. With both concluding in u ending up losing the most.
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Why dont you reduce the intensity / frequency ?
Doesnt mean you should "drop" any friends....
You can still keep in contact with them all.......just not at the same intensity and frequency...
For instance, from once a week.....to once every 2 weeks.....something like that...is still possible.
So that way you can have more time and more relaxed.
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Btw, why dont you like to go out with the umbrella guy?
Just go have a lunch with him.
He can open the door to a path.
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Originally posted by _Da_Dood_:
don't do this...it may seem a quick remedy at first but in fact its a sweet poison...it will hit u very hard one day..because its such an easy way out, eventually u will use it even to ur closest friend subconsciously..happened to me...had a gf and neglected everyone ard me..had in mind that, she's my everything.. well, then reality hits so hard when my relationship ended, along with my social life. Trust me, it is very very hard to fit back in again...so yea, learn from my fail.If ur purpose to get into a relationship just to diss them off, and if the guy is serious, then u are hurting him. If the guys is out for fun, the one on the losing end is u. With both concluding in u ending up losing the most.
Really thanks for the warning about this. Because i used to have this thought about me having a bf because a few of my guy friends want to ask for a patch but i dont want yet.Goofyzell? but i like my friends. My friends is what keeping me so lively
VeggieBAO? But its hard because its not i plan. Is they plan. And they expect me to go with them which put pressure on me. Huh? what u mean about the umbrella guy. I dont like him u do know that right?
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Ohh...
Yes sometimes when your friends ask you to go out........you just consider whether you like the activities or not.........If you dont like it, dont force yourself, just say sorry you are tired at the moment, next time will go.....And when the next time comes, do join them.......So you just reduce the intensity and frequency.
Just be honest and say you dont feel like going out, you want to stay at home.
I think it's ok.....
You still keep in touch with them though.........but just dont force yourself, just have an intensity which suits you.
I think nobody will blame you. Dont worry about that....
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About the umbrella guy....
Sometimes knowing new people can open new doors and new pathways. For example you can know his friends, and so on.
I think it's OK to go out with him once, and then you can decide from there. But if you dont like him at all, then its Ok, just forget about him. After all, you are still young and there are many chances. Haha.
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Originally posted by Simple~Gal:
Really thanks for the warning about this. Because i used to have this thought about me having a bf because a few of my guy friends want to ask for a patch but i dont want yet.Goofyzell? but i like my friends. My friends is what keeping me so lively
VeggieBAO? But its hard because its not i plan. Is they plan. And they expect me to go with them which put pressure on me. Huh? what u mean about the umbrella guy. I dont like him u do know that right?
One thing i learnt is to stand firm...Honestly, rejecting people are hard to do, usually for the meek ones, like me, will use something as an excuse to reject something. This is really bad, as excuses will lead to more excuses and lies...Like trying to tell someone no, by putting urself into a "i want to but i can't" state, and its like a double edge sword. So instead of getting a bf to reject guys who want to date u, or patch with u, say a firm no..play hard to get...guys will never ever cherish whatever that are easily obtained...the ones who give it all out are the ones u will want to look out for ^^
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Originally posted by Veggie Bao:
Ohh...
Yes sometimes when your friends ask you to go out........you just consider whether you like the activities or not.........If you dont like it, dont force yourself, just say sorry you are tired at the moment, next time will go.....And when the next time comes, do join them.......So you just reduce the intensity and frequency.
Just be honest and say you dont feel like going out, you want to stay at home.
I think it's ok.....
You still keep in touch with them though.........but just dont force yourself, just have an intensity which suits you.
I think nobody will blame you. Dont worry about that....
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About the umbrella guy....
Sometimes knowing new people can open new doors and new pathways. For example you can know his friends, and so on.
I think it's OK to go out with him once, and then you can decide from there. But if you dont like him at all, then its Ok, just forget about him. After all, you are still young and there are many chances. Haha.
ok. Hope your advice means no harm between me and my friends. I no feelings towards the umbrella guy at all. Actually its hard for me to meet him after work because i will probably have plans. I just pass him my number because its how i repay my thanks. Smses wont hurt. I dont have any attention of having a guy with me now. I just like to look at them only. Like how u guys like to look at pretty girls.
Da_dood? doubt that will work hahas. because even though i give out a straight answer to them, they keep on pestering me say "why?" or "u never know once u try" etc. irritating. But i cant ignore them. or else, they think im stingy =.=
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Originally posted by Simple~Gal:
so u were saying if i got a bf, this problem will go away?
when you are busy with a significant other, it's a very good excuse to beg off friends outing and spending time with them. just say you got date lor.
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Originally posted by russiabear:
when you are busy with a significant other, it's a very good excuse to beg off friends outing and spending time with them. just say you got date lor.
and when u break up with ur other half, no one will be left to console u...balance and MUTUAL understanding is the key...
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u sure they are your friends or not?
real friends are hard to come by.
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duplicate post
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Originally posted by ^Acid^ aka s|aO^eH~:
and when u break up with ur other half, no one will be left to console u...balance and MUTUAL understanding is the key...
well said..u will very much be alone...and that is very very scary....@Simple~Gal : Try to hurt their ego badly...they will back off...pestering guys are real irritants..they never know when to back off, when to take no as no...U can try to observe them, spot things that bugs them most then keep attacking at it...best thing is to do it at public but subtly so that u wont be part of the laughing stock...like simply icing them on train rides...at most if they say ur stingy, attitude problem, tell this " This is an open society, I have the freedom to choose how i feel, when, and where. If u can't stand me, there is an option where u can turn around and keep walking." Then smile sweetly and continue to ice them..lol...don't worry bout pple thinking ur stingy...Real friends will understand u..dont't live ur life to please or to make others happy...Live the life u want it, even if it means the whole world is against it.. Rmb, u can't please everyone..just pick out the ones that are worthy can liao..
A quote i find interesting " Have u ever wondered when pple say u've changed, its just actually u've stopped living ur life the way they want u to?"
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i can only give TS 1 advice:
Friends are easy to find, true friends are harder.
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You try my method haha. I use to tell my friends, I don't feel like going today cos I'm not in a very good mood. You guys wouldn't want to see me sulk all day too and spoil your fun right.
And if they insist, go with them, then pull a very long face and spoil the occassion or happy mood. In future, when you say this sort of things, they will know its for real. lol.
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I think the problem lies with you
You are so concerned about what others think about you and so you arrange your life, schedule, etc to fit them
How about getting a backbone
I may seem harsh but seriously you're a working adult and you still do not know how to handle petty problems like this??!?!
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Originally posted by littlemissbonkers:
I think the problem lies with you
You are so concerned about what others think about you and so you arrange your life, schedule, etc to fit them
How about getting a backbone
I may seem harsh but seriously you're a working adult and you still do not know how to handle petty problems like this??!?!
missbonkers' like little chilli liddat...sho hot headed...sho harsh..sho cute...
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Originally posted by _Da_Dood_:
missbonkers' like little chilli liddat...sho hot headed...sho harsh..sho cute... I'm sure many will disagree with you :p
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Originally posted by littlemissbonkers:
I'm sure many will disagree with you :p
even if the whole world is against me, i am still adamant
=.= sho drama
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Originally posted by _Da_Dood_:
even if the whole world is against me, i am still adamant
=.= sho drama
Off topic le la drama queen
lol
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Originally posted by littlemissbonkers:
Off topic le la drama queen
lol
>.>
Off topic : *me looks below*....since when i became tranny?!?!?!?!