Discipline in School
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My daughter was slapped by a classmate in school and naturally as a parent, I allerted the school to it. The school's DM called me to say that both the victim and the aggressor has been spoken to and that they will share punishment. I told the DM that I don't see how it is justifiable for the victim to face equal punishment then the DM say that maybe she will receive lighter punishment.
The DM said that the aggressor was upset that my daughter has a boisterous way of greeting others with a slap on arm or back and that she disliked being greeted that way. The aggressor also mentioned that it was becos my daughter had kissed her brother in a truth and dare game.
My questions: Why is the victim sharing punishment with the aggressor? (I will understand if the sch wants to punish her for playing truth or dare.) Where is justice? Does it not send a message that victims will be punished alongsid aggressor if they complain? Therefore don't complain. Because my daughter came back saying "If I had not complained, I willl not be punished".. Is this the right thing for sch to do? Another message is also sent to bullies or aggressors - Nvm, go ahead and hit anyone you like. If they complain, they will get punished together with you.
And I believe the aggressor is probably smiling away saying that my daughter is a sucker for complaining and now being punished also.
I really don't understand the schools message here. Can complain if u are bullied or not? Or Better keep your mouth shut and dont give us trouble?
I am now waiting for the teacher to call me as I want to verify further.
Maybe next time I can go around punching ppl in the face and if they report police maybe they go prison together with me?
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Is there a possibility that your daughter is seen the as aggressor in the eyes of the other party? Is there a possibility that the other party's daughter is claiming the same argument as you? Even a murderer will sometimes said he did the right thing, why should he be sentenced to death for killing someone who deserves to die...
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Originally posted by DailyFreeGames.com:
Is there a possibility that your daughter is seen the as aggressor in the eyes of the other party? Is there a possibility that the other party’s daughter is claiming the same argument as you? Even a murderer will sometimes said he did the right thing, why should he be sentenced to death for killing someone who deserves to die…
totally concur with your post.
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Perhaps bringing up this issue to the principle instead of the DM may help.
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go and confront the DM. maybe also talk to the principal as well.
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Originally posted by FummingMother:
The DM said that the aggressor was upset that my daughter has a boisterous way of greeting others with a slap on arm or back and that she disliked being greeted that way. The aggressor also mentioned that it was becos my daughter had kissed her brother in a truth and dare game.
And you are okay with your daughter doing that?
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point your middle finger to the DM. Then kick his dick repeatedly. Call the police. Say it was him who provoke you first and then both should share punishment. He will regret after that
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fumingmother..pls pm me..i wanna fuck u
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look for MP!
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yah mah
both oso got wrong
just tt the other party did not go tell teacher first.
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The other party doesn't like your daughther's way of greeting him/her
I remember in secondary school people pulling bras of their female classmates for the fun of it, the girl didnt get a little angry.
Maybe you can request conselling sessions for both your daughther and the other party, but i bet a day's detention will be much better than wasting time listening to things that makes sense
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counselling seems to be a better solution
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Originally posted by DailyFreeGames.com:
Is there a possibility that your daughter is seen the as aggressor in the eyes of the other party? Is there a possibility that the other party’s daughter is claiming the same argument as you? Even a murderer will sometimes said he did the right thing, why should he be sentenced to death for killing someone who deserves to die…
I concur too...
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I talk to my daughter after she come home from sch. she say she nvr hit the girl. is tapping someone on the arm considered hitting? i scold her for being stupid for not telling the DM this. she say, dowan to make matter worst. Anyway, i am going to see the DM and settle this.
How you feel if some one hit yr daughter and call her a whore and the school dont know abt this?
I agree that it was stupid and dumb of her to play truth and dare. Punish her for that. I more then agree. But otherwise, i dont think its fair. besides the counsellor knows the full story but the DM did not talk to her.
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I feel that the truth and dare game is that, since it is a game, both party should not bring it up. And that, maybe just teach your daughter on your own of the moral lines that she should be abound by when playing such games.
As for the slapping incident, that the classmate hit your daughter, maybe you would like to ask your daughter as to who was there at that point of time when she was being slap?
Your daughter could be lying that she just tap on her classmate, when it was in fact a huge slap on the back, which could be very painful especially to people with a very sensitive back like me. It's pretty annoying and humiliating to be greeted such a way for some people.
Right now, its just words against words, both party has their dubious point. Best if there are people who have witness, if not, i think just send them for counselling or might end up accusing one another wrongly.
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i dun think a light tap on the person's arm or back would evoke a retaliatory slap from anyone.
Imo, both should be punished. It doesn't send the message that "if the victim reports and then gets punished too, why report?" Take this punishment in a positive light in such a way that your daughter shd now change her ways of greeting classmates.If your daughter has NO fault at all and was slapped, then subsequently punished, only then can it be classified as the gross injustice that you're seeking grievance for now.
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Originally posted by Rock^Star:
i dun think a light tap on the person's arm or back would evoke a retaliatory slap from anyone.
Imo, both should be punished. It doesn't send the message that "if the victim reports and then gets punished too, why report?" Take this punishment in a positive light in such a way that your daughter shd now change her ways of greeting classmates.If your daughter has NO fault at all and was slapped, then subsequently punished, only then can it be classified as the gross injustice that you're seeking grievance for now.
i agree with you. If she has done something wrong, i will even punish her myself. the DM himself told me it was taps and that maybe the aggressor took it offensively -DM's exact words. if that is the case, then this can be communicated by words.
anyway i have just read the aggressors blog and was really quite shocked that she has been spreading rumour and callin my gal a whore. however that is beside the point now. I just think that the sch has handled this rather badly and seem not to acknowledge a bullying in process.
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Originally posted by TYING:
I feel that the truth and dare game is that, since it is a game, both party should not bring it up. And that, maybe just teach your daughter on your own of the moral lines that she should be abound by when playing such games.
As for the slapping incident, that the classmate hit your daughter, maybe you would like to ask your daughter as to who was there at that point of time when she was being slap?
Your daughter could be lying that she just tap on her classmate, when it was in fact a huge slap on the back, which could be very painful especially to people with a very sensitive back like me. It's pretty annoying and humiliating to be greeted such a way for some people.
Right now, its just words against words, both party has their dubious point. Best if there are people who have witness, if not, i think just send them for counselling or might end up accusing one another wrongly.
The slapping was witnessed by a few ppl and they have all stood up for her. and they also witnessed her being threatened not to tell teacher. these kids have all been called up and questioned by the counsellor.
And yes, i have scolded that she shud not play such games. and restrict her show of emotion to fellow church mates only. (where a hug and a peck on the kiss is a norm among us)
The tapping - she demonstrated it to the counsellor and all her frens agree that they always tap each other that way when they want each other's attention. However, she did not demonstrate it to the DM (maybe scared or what) but i told her that i want her to demonstrate and i want the aggressor to agree or disagree acordingly and that she shud not be afraid to stand up for herself.
She has been avoiding this girl and her kakis for awhile already and even cry about not wanting to go to school as she dreads facing them each day.
Right now, i have insisted on counselling for my gal and have collected all other online proofs of cyber-bullying which i will bring to sch when they grant me a meeting with them. till now, i think they are putting off...
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Originally posted by FummingMother:
The slapping was witnessed by a few ppl and they have all stood up for her. and they also witnessed her being threatened not to tell teacher. these kids have all been called up and questioned by the counsellor.
And yes, i have scolded that she shud not play such games. and restrict her show of emotion to fellow church mates only. (where a hug and a peck on the kiss is a norm among us)
The tapping - she demonstrated it to the counsellor and all her frens agree that they always tap each other that way when they want each other's attention. However, she did not demonstrate it to the DM (maybe scared or what) but i told her that i want her to demonstrate and i want the aggressor to agree or disagree acordingly and that she shud not be afraid to stand up for herself.
She has been avoiding this girl and her kakis for awhile already and even cry about not wanting to go to school as she dreads facing them each day.
Right now, i have insisted on counselling for my gal and have collected all other online proofs of cyber-bullying which i will bring to sch when they grant me a meeting with them. till now, i think they are putting off...
Yes, please print out whatever that the girl have wrote about your daughter online. It is considered as cyber bullying. Maybe you would like to inform your daughter's form teacher as to keep an eye on her? She might face more bullying with such case coming up, especially on blogs. (you know kids nowadays -.-) Of course, all these to be done discreetly, and that it would only be between you and the teacher. This is for your child safety.
Hope your daughter pick up herself from this incident soon. =)
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Originally posted by TYING:
Yes, please print out whatever that the girl have wrote about your daughter online. It is considered as cyber bullying. Maybe you would like to inform your daughter's form teacher as to keep an eye on her? She might face more bullying with such case coming up, especially on blogs. (you know kids nowadays -.-) Of course, all these to be done discreetly, and that it would only be between you and the teacher. This is for your child safety.
Hope your daughter pick up herself from this incident soon. =)
Thk you, TYING.
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I'd hire a lawyer and take the DM to court. Or craft letters to all MOE big wigs to disclose the situation If you have the $$$/time, do it. Righteousness and anger don't grant you anything. You got to fight for what you believe in. If not willing to spend $, keep quiet and stop venting your frustration online. It's not going to change anything for your daughter.
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bullying takes the physical form when in school, at the workplace, they are silent flying daggers.
I don't mean to patronise but since there's little you can do to change the situation, may i suggest that you bring this matter up to MOE, write to the media or the best would be to counsel your daughter and help her recover from this setback.
Not everyone likes to be tapped, it happens at the workplace too, isn't it? Sometimes we don't know when we step on someone's toes. The most important thing is how we handle the aftermath.
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you as a mother ought to be slapped for not knowing that your daughter slaps people's arms for "greetings" and not teaching her the right thing..
and when the school does your job for you in disciplining your child, you fume about it..
who failed who here?
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