How to get rid of that sucky feeling ..
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feeling of 'unwantedness'.
Hi, it is me again. I have this 'problem' of me feeling sad/depressed/sucks/negative feeling whenever noone talks to me in a group outing.
For example, been outing with a group of 'friends' with their respective gfs.
Ok lah, I am a girl lah. There are about 3 ,4 females in the group who are gfs. I find that I hardly talk to them or is it they hardly talk to me also?
I have tried to take initiative to talk, say... one of the gf, then after that, full stop. No more conversation. Then just last saturday, I know it was rude not to reply but I just feel abit 'angry' and didn't even say 'goodbye' to one of the couples when they say 'goodbye' to me. Because the gf didn't even talked to me during the outing and even took photos with the other gfs except me. I felt left out.
Sigh..... I wonder, how can I get rid of this negative feelings of being left out? I am not talkative and creative to sustain interesting conversations.
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You feel awkward talking to people...then you think people dun awkward talking to you ah?
How old are you?
If you know that you have bad social skills then improve on them! What's the point in whining? You can complain all you want about the mean people who don't talk to you and things will still remain the same and not change!
The only way to avoid being left out is to be involved. After all if things do not change, your negative feelings will be there to stay.
I know I sound harsh...but seriously you need a wake up call...the world will not change to suit you....you should try and adapt to it instead.
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>littlemissbonkers: no lah, you are right. I need some strangers, ppl who don't know me, who will be able to see the picture clearer. Friends will feel pai sey to advice me but strangers giving advice will be more straightforward.
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Go and do sports.
When you do sports, you body release a chemical reaction called endorphins.
Endorphins contains negative feelings.
After sports you will feel happy.
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Originally posted by gunner77:
Go and do sports.
When you do sports, you body release a chemical reaction called endorphins.
Endorphins contains negative feelings.
After sports you will feel happy.
i think u meant positive.
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Originally posted by Zhangjf7768:
>littlemissbonkers: no lah, you are right. I need some strangers, ppl who don't know me, who will be able to see the picture clearer. Friends will feel pai sey to advice me but strangers giving advice will be more straightforward.
I'm glad you think so
By the way...EQ can be improved...all you have to do is observe the people around you...look at the way they interact...find out what the common topics are...then practice! If it doesn't work the first few times...don't despair...persevere...and one day you'll find yourself succeeding.
It's just like Monkey See Monkey Do
Good luck!
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Originally posted by ChoCoChips:
i think u meant positive.
negative you bitch -
Originally posted by Zhangjf7768:
feeling of 'unwantedness'.
Hi, it is me again. I have this 'problem' of me feeling sad/depressed/sucks/negative feeling whenever noone talks to me in a group outing.
For example, been outing with a group of 'friends' with their respective gfs.
Ok lah, I am a girl lah. There are about 3 ,4 females in the group who are gfs. I find that I hardly talk to them or is it they hardly talk to me also?
I have tried to take initiative to talk, say... one of the gf, then after that, full stop. No more conversation. Then just last saturday, I know it was rude not to reply but I just feel abit 'angry' and didn't even say 'goodbye' to one of the couples when they say 'goodbye' to me. Because the gf didn't even talked to me during the outing and even took photos with the other gfs except me. I felt left out.
Sigh..... I wonder, how can I get rid of this negative feelings of being left out? I am not talkative and creative to sustain interesting conversations.
No common topics to talk about ? Or you have no company ?
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Originally posted by Zhangjf7768:
feeling of 'unwantedness'.
Hi, it is me again. I have this 'problem' of me feeling sad/depressed/sucks/negative feeling whenever noone talks to me in a group outing.
For example, been outing with a group of 'friends' with their respective gfs.
Ok lah, I am a girl lah. There are about 3 ,4 females in the group who are gfs. I find that I hardly talk to them or is it they hardly talk to me also?
I have tried to take initiative to talk, say... one of the gf, then after that, full stop. No more conversation. Then just last saturday, I know it was rude not to reply but I just feel abit 'angry' and didn't even say 'goodbye' to one of the couples when they say 'goodbye' to me. Because the gf didn't even talked to me during the outing and even took photos with the other gfs except me. I felt left out.
Sigh..... I wonder, how can I get rid of this negative feelings of being left out? I am not talkative and creative to sustain interesting conversations.
try go bed her bf and see who's got the last laugh
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left out then left out lo.. steady abit.
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TS,
u may be the quiet type
dun worry, be urself
find people who have same interests as u can liao
problem solved
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Originally posted by Mr Milo:
TS,
u may be the quiet type
dun worry, be urself
find people who have same interests as u can liao
problem solved
Yup, Milo's right...It's impossible to make friends with the whole world...
Observe their character before you make judgement whether it's because of you or because of their "kuan / sae"
If you are an simple person, you simply cannot mix well with people who are bitch and hard core materialistic people
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come out with me la u wont feel left out...chey joking la
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get a boyfriend lah... i find relationships can help to build up the social skills... i might be wrong, but i was last time from nerd nerd and no gf at 21 yrs old until my gf tell me how to dress up, how to take care of face, how to smell nice, lol..... last time always play soccer dun care about looks, just care about playing well on the field...
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I'm sort of the quiet type , maybe you're one .
Perhaps it takes time to open up and "be yourself"
keep going out and socialising .
Start by saying "hi!" *smile*
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Just be yourself.
Don't be negative.
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Originally posted by littlemissbonkers:
You feel awkward talking to people...then you think people dun awkward talking to you ah?
How old are you?
If you know that you have bad social skills then improve on them! What's the point in whining? You can complain all you want about the mean people who don't talk to you and things will still remain the same and not change!
The only way to avoid being left out is to be involved. After all if things do not change, your negative feelings will be there to stay.
I know I sound harsh...but seriously you need a wake up call...the world will not change to suit you....you should try and adapt to it instead.
Why Miss Bonkers? This reminds you of your younger days when nobody wants to speak to you when you were nerdy and wore thick iron braces. Hahahaha.
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Originally posted by Geylang Boh Sia:
Why Miss Bonkers? This reminds you of your younger days when nobody wants to speak to you when you were nerdy and wore thick iron braces. Hahahaha.
Why? you got some issue with it ah?TS never complain about my post, you complain for what?
And I've got nice teeth...no need braces
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Originally posted by Zhangjf7768:
feeling of 'unwantedness'.
Hi, it is me again. I have this 'problem' of me feeling sad/depressed/sucks/negative feeling whenever noone talks to me in a group outing.
For example, been outing with a group of 'friends' with their respective gfs.
Ok lah, I am a girl lah. There are about 3 ,4 females in the group who are gfs. I find that I hardly talk to them or is it they hardly talk to me also?
I have tried to take initiative to talk, say... one of the gf, then after that, full stop. No more conversation. Then just last saturday, I know it was rude not to reply but I just feel abit 'angry' and didn't even say 'goodbye' to one of the couples when they say 'goodbye' to me. Because the gf didn't even talked to me during the outing and even took photos with the other gfs except me. I felt left out.
Sigh..... I wonder, how can I get rid of this negative feelings of being left out? I am not talkative and creative to sustain interesting conversations.
Why don't you go out with group of friends who appreciates your presence?
Friends should be equal with one another on the same level of scale when weighted together.
If you have friends who expects you to place yourself lower than them in order for them to become your friends, then please leave such friendships for your own good sake. Don't waste your life insulting yourself and live in humiliation.
If you have friends who expects you to be high above them so that they may find you useful enough to benefit and gain from your friendship, then please leave such friendships for their own good sake. Don't waste their lives by insulting them and allow them to live in humiliation if you truly appreciates them as your friends.
And please don't write in such a manner as it pains me to see someone writing as if it is their fault and takes blame for everything that has happened.
You may be at fault, but your friends and people around you also need to play their part and correct you or advise you gently because they know you and because you are their friends.
Friends or people who don't really want to be personally involved to care for one another, and especially those who called themselves your friends or call you their friend, are just people who are out to take advantage of you for their own selfish gains.
Before you blame yourself and accept all the condemnations from others that it is all your fault, ask yourself this question. Would you have behaved in the same way that other people have treated you? Would you have also ignored or make another person felt "left out" in an outing with you?
There is a reason why you felt it was wrong about the way that your friends have treated you so, and you must stand firm in what you believed in.
If you felt that you have been wronged, then believed that you have been wronged and do not go after people who have done you wrong and begged them to explain why they had done you wrong. People don't really need a reason to treat you as their enemy, all is needed is an excuse to do so and you will be under fire/attack irrationally.
Don't waste your time talking about people who have already chosen to misunderstand you and become your enemies.
Spend your time wisely instead with people who want to be your friend and spend time with you, in time you will find a few good friends who truly appreciates your presence.
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Parnie is right
find people who appreciate u as who u are
and those will spare a thought for you
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Find friends who are Zhi Tong Dao He. Got common topics to talk about. Dont so emo. If they dont appreaciate your presense, Fk them
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Originally posted by littlemissbonkers:
Why? you got some issue with it ah?TS never complain about my post, you complain for what?
And I've got nice teeth...no need braces
"how are you?", "I know I sound harsh", "you need a wake up call", "you complain about people who don't talk to you and things remain the same".
What kind of lame advice are you giving to the poor girl? Grandma Bonkers, I don't think you have any teeth at all because you wear false teeth. What the girl needs is good advice and good motivation. Not someone who used to share the same fate such as you.
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ppl get left out because they are the odd ones out. if you wanna fit in with the crowd then you gotta go with herd mentality. same dress code, same conversation topics, same body language. if these things are alien to you, then you just have to put in some effort to pick it up. now with internet nothing is impossible.
otherwise, enjoy being odd and being left out.