I just have a question... to guys who may ans
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err.. i ger le.. mind me replying? hehe... did u ask him why he chose u to be the date for his ns function? mabbe he have few ger friends? or he interested in u?
since u sae he is ur buddy, i sure he treat u tat way too... he knows tat u are attached rite? or if u want den just tell him tat u are attached and ur bf is not happie abt it.. but u will bear the risk of losing a buddy on ur side...
there are plantonic relationship between a girl and a guy also mar... mabbe like wat ur bf saes, ur buddy reallie have a motive.. his motive is just tat he interested in u?
before he went for the field trip, he also ask u for for dinner? maybe he treat u as a very important friend.. .but u cannot rule out the possibility that he is interested in u... just give tat buddy a call.. and see wat he says ......
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ahha u call that short? i guess it's short, but so many details.
my initial thoughts are these: ask YOURSELF. wat is YOUR motive for going if u want to go. i know ur question is not whether you should go or not, but the main person to convince is YOURSELF, then the rest can talk later.
now to answer your real question:
no one knows wat the motive of your buddy is, not even ur boyfriend. only he himself knows. however sometimes it's not wat u know.. it's wat u FEEL. your bf feels that he's trying to put a third leg in, well he has a reason to feel that way. not that he's a good or bad guy, some guys take it lightly, some guys are easily jealous. this is the guy u chose, so if he were to THINK that your buddy is after you, then u may want to reject your buddy's offer with much regret. whether or not ur bf is right doesn't matter. it's wat you do and how he feels about it that matters.
of course bringing these two paragraphs together, if you feel that there is absolutely nothing wrong with accepting your buddy's invitation, and that u totally trust urself and so should ur bf, YET ur bf still feels that way, then u have to make a choice. neither is wrong.
one might say he's too possessive and that u have to stand for your rights, another might say that if you don't betray your conscience then go for it, yet another might say don't go becos you shouldn't do things like this to make ur bf jealous. wat do YOU say?
off the record, when i was in a reln i trusted implicitly, so i would let my gf go. but after being cheated upon, and hearing lots of stories about gals cheating on guys i am now also, like u, confused as to where that line is drawn.
disclaimer: yes yes yes guys cheat on girls too, i don't want this to become a topic of guys vs gals. i was merely reiterating a personal experience and observation. pls take it with a pinch of salt... and pepper too if u like it spicy! -
I wish i could give some advice in regard to this topic....however the unfortunate thing is....i'm also facing this kinda situation and getting paranoid easily.
My Op is...your buddy have no 'evil' intention. That's because i'll give him the benefit of doubt as he is your buddy, so it should stay that way.
Your Boyfriend i believe is inferior...or insecure,
Try spending lots of time with him, both of you take effort to share about matters of the heart, and re-affirm(don't know if this is a correct word to use) the promises made in the past. I hope this helps.
Lastly, to you. Do state your stand and stand by it.
That'll develop trust and respect from Both your buddy and BF.
I mean if anything really happens....you know what to do.
Take Care and cheers.
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i was like ur fren b4......ask my good friend to go to a function with me cuz my date couldnt make it......and she used to date my best friend!! but 2 years the broke up liao then muy function lah...anyway i had no motives or stuff........if u wan u could ask ur bf to pick you up after the function if he doesnt feel right.....thats wad i asked her bf to do if he was afraid i had something up my sleeve....
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Go wif wat U tink is da best for U, junior. If yr BF is not happy abt it, then tell yr buddy da reason, if U goin, tell yr BF y too. Confusion is part of our life... I too m confused abt many things in my life too. Its juz dat da decisions U make, will U stand by it? Or will U regret it?
I cannot comment much coz:
1. I never faced dis situation b4
2. I m NOT in yr shoes
3. I have probs myself I have yet to solve & I dun wan any of my biased stuffs to come in (not in a calm state of mind...)
& BTW... "Todae" is Mondae morning... U refering to Sundae or Mondae? -
I guess such things happen all the time ... guys jealous about the males surrounding their gf ... the girls jealous of females surrounding their bf ....
I would just like to share something which I have discovered myself during relationships that I had. Ever wondered why sometimes only certain people would be marked as having motives ... while ur bf might not even bother about other guys? I guess one important thing for you to do is to let your bf know your buddy. Since you say he is your buddy ... then the more your bf should know him in person. I always make it a point to know my gf's frens, especially those that she used to hang out with. And those include guys, and once I became frens with them ... Somehow, the insecurities kinda fade off a little. Of course I am not saying that it would totally prevent any betrayal ... but at least on my part, I won't always be overly suspicious. Hope my idea works for you too. -
army manke a guy desperate....be careful
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Does this gut noe u haf a bf? If he does, I can say to u tt, he definitely has a motive to ask u out on dates. Wat ur bf saymay be true afterall. UR bf is someone who loves u alot so u juz imagine, ur beloved gf is going out with some other guy which he doesnt noe and this guy often ask u out on dates, how would u feel?Originally posted by IamAngeline:Today i have received a call from one of my buddy who is now currently in NS right now. Well... I make it short for everyone to understand the situation.
He is asking me to be his date for a dinner for his ns function in the coming week. I have not agree to it yet, one reason is because I'm down with fever and flu!!
This is the second time he ask me to be his date. but the previous function I did not attend. I know this buddy through my ex, he is my ex's buddy. Of all of my ex's buddies, he is the only one I have contact up till now ( It's been 4 years since the break up).
well definitely my bf know him and also know that he is asking me to be his date. My bf is furious. To me, he is only asking me out. but to my bf, he assumes that he has a 'motive' lah.
why does my bf conclude that? this is what he told me.
I have not met him for almost a yr till this:My buddy actually just came back from overseas from his ns field trip. b4 he left he actually ask me to meet him for dinner cos he say he wish have a dinner with me b4 he left for the trip. so i just went to meet him b4 he went for the trip as usual..
and after the number of times he asks me to be his date, my bf told me as a man's sixth sense and what my buddy is doing, he has a feeling that my buddy has a motive...
i can't figure it out then. My buddy till now has not ever have a gf yet but the reason he told me is he still can't meet on that suits him.
but if wants me to imagine as what my bf tells me, I will say, it's impossible and could not be.
I am confused lah.. so is what my bf say is true???
U will say that it is impossible and yet u still attend his dates to give him the wrong idea. (I presume all ur dates are one to one dates.) Gives him the wrong idea and gives ur bf a sens of not secure.
I noe gers like attention and guys to ask them out on dates at times. Now I am asking u: Is it tt u cant figure it out and leave it there and dun do anything?
For me, I would say wat ur bf say is definitely correct. Of all the person in the world (family and other frens), he ask u to haf dinner b4 his verseas trip. This aready shows he got some motive. I mean u are not single. (If u are single, its ok but uare not!!!) I mean u just go out with this guy fren bcos he ask u to? (and haf dinner to improve things bet u and him and to worsen things bet u and ur bf?)
If u think its impossible, pls make clear to him and dun attend one to one dates with him... If its a gathering, shld be ok... Ask ur bf wat he thinks and wat u shld do lor... (let him noe how u feel...)
This is my personal opinion.. No offences meant! 
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Sayang, sayangOriginally posted by IamAngeline:I understand that sometimes partners tends to get insecure, so i actually rejected the previous time. this time he sound that he really wanted me to be his date.. Although I rejected but feel a bit guilty loh. cos he actually told me that there are gal friends of his that called him and wanted to be his date but he rejected 'becos of me'?
I not very sure lah..
to loneryu00:
Senior, i refer to sunday lah... so sad I'm so sick and have no mc but to go work. got fever on sat.
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U tell me U sick oso no use! I cant use digital words to heal yr fever~~~?! I can only...... lament? *shrugs*
U got tell yr BF U sick? Dis a GOOD chance for him to take "further" care of U. -
Ermm... Well I was quite upset when I was sick that day. It was sat morning(friday midnight) and I called him said i'm sick lah and was looking for a 24 hr clinic in north area then he never say anything just went back to SLEEPOriginally posted by loneryu00:Sayang, sayang
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U got tell yr BF U sick? Dis a GOOD chance for him to take "further" care of U.
!
haiz.. now eat the medicine, hands will trembled(effect from the medicine) ........
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I tink U shld tell his close fren to scold him for U... How can a ger get sicks & da BF dun care??? WTF? (tink I gettin pi**ed off here... need to cool down...)Originally posted by IamAngeline:Ermm... Well I was quite upset when I was sick that day. It was sat morning(friday midnight) and I called him said i'm sick lah and was looking for a 24 hr clinic in north area then he never say anything just went back to SLEEP !
haiz.. now eat the medicine, hands will trembled(effect from the medicine) ........
I tink still too early to sae anything... maybe tonite he visit U? Or do smth? Who noes? *shrugs* -
Well still alright lah, but very sick right now loh,, feeling weak I should say...Originally posted by loneryu00:I tink U shld tell his close fren to scold him for U... How can a ger get sicks & da BF dun care??? WTF? (tink I gettin pi**ed off here... need to cool down...)
I tink still too early to sae anything... maybe tonite he visit U? Or do smth? Who noes? *shrugs* -
& U still working? Take leave... Go home & REST! Call dat BF of yrs to come visit U when he free, or off work, or done PCC, or watever! Better than U now suffering.Originally posted by IamAngeline:Well still alright lah, but very sick right now loh,, feeling weak I should say... -
HahaOriginally posted by loneryu00:& U still working? Take leave... Go home & REST! Call dat BF of yrs to come visit U when he free, or off work, or done PCC, or watever! Better than U now suffering.
cannot take leave (attachment lah) you know attendance...
haiz....... you ku nan yan -
Then at least ask yr boss to maybe let U off earlier or smth... sure yr boss understand 1...Originally posted by IamAngeline:Haha
cannot take leave (attachment lah) you know attendance...
haiz....... you ku nan yan -
boss understand no use. must let the my LO(liasion officer) to understand.. but sad to say.. difficult..Originally posted by loneryu00:Then at least ask yr boss to maybe let U off earlier or smth... sure yr boss understand 1... -
Then bear wif it... I noe U can 1... very fast 1... soon will be knock off time.Originally posted by IamAngeline:boss understand no use. must let the my LO(liasion officer) to understand.. but sad to say.. difficult.. 
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Guys are humans too... they have sense of insecurity too.
If I had a gf and there's this guy who kept asking her out, I will feel something is not right.
If my gf tells me who he is, where they go, for what purpose like what event (b.day, farewell etc) I dont mind her going once or twice but if this guy kept coming back to ask my gf for dates... Hey... he is up to something and I will not be happy about it.
If you like your bf and do not wish to complicate things.. better make clear to your buddy that he can't keep asking you for dates for a simple fact that you are ATTACHED! -
Yesh senior....Originally posted by loneryu00:Then bear wif it... I noe U can 1... very fast 1... soon will be knock off time. -
I believe U still fever now rite? I tink U shld stay away from da com & find a place to "rest"... Coz if U keep surfing net or chatting or dunno wat... won't help yr condition at all...Originally posted by IamAngeline:Yesh senior.... -
fever gone, but headache remains. flu and a bit of breathing prob.. (doc say not SARS) so nothing to worry...Originally posted by loneryu00:I believe U still fever now rite? I tink U shld stay away from da com & find a place to "rest"... Coz if U keep surfing net or chatting or dunno wat... won't help yr condition at all...
i cannot 'rest' because I need to do programming so still I have to see the com -
Piang... Then "Wei Qu Ni Lor..." NVM! I here for da WHOLE office hr! Got anything to sae, can find mee!Originally posted by IamAngeline:fever gone, but headache remains. flu and a bit of breathing prob.. (doc say not SARS) so nothing to worry...
i cannot 'rest' because I need to do programming so still I have to see the com
*Yi Lian Zheng Jing*