A sexless marriage
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Originally posted by Sexless:
Maybe I have not been patient enough with her and I know that she still loves me very much. I was hoping that maybe someone/couple that have gone through a similar situation in a sexless marriage can offer some good advice.
@well to jojobeach
She knows about the air stewardess, I even told her I was dating her when I got to know her. When I dated my wife, I immediately told the stewardess that I'm sorry and I should not contact her anymore. I do not know if you are in a marriage or not but I do feel that a man needs to have sex in a marriage. You are free to make comments and judge me, so that is all I want to say in-regards to your comments.
I totally agree that sex is a big part of a happy and long lasting marriage.
But what you are currently doing is pushing her away from wanting to enjoy this "gift" with you.
Just because she has married you, doesn't mean you can stop "courting" her. Courtship doesn't end until death do you part.
A woman's willingness to have sex with a man.. is not just a physical thing. It's very much an emotional experience.
Start a clean slate with your wife.
Forgo all that had happened.. and try again.. this time more gently.. more considerate.. more love.. more caring...
Emotionally she must feel secure with you..
Stop harping on the past.. give her a future to look forward to.
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
You stop your shit lah.
I am not his sex slave.. why do I need to make him feel good.
He needs a blardy wake up call and I'm giving him what he needs.
His marriage is on the rocks.. he still think he King Kong.
Time to eat humble pie OK ? Good.
I noticed your posts in AA tend to be a lot of unsolicited bullshit :) Most times you talk like you understand a lot but fact is, your understanding of the situation most times is just your oestrogen taking itself on a shameless ego trip.
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Originally posted by Sexless:
After the party, a few of my friends and myself went to a park for drinks and I asked my wife along because I felt that she was feeling down at that time and I wanted to cheer her up. On my actual brithday, my wife asked me out for a movie and I agreed and of course, she wished me a happy birthday. From there on, I started to look at my wife in a different way, and we started dating each other. I like my wife for her intelligence, her common interest with me and similar views on many aspects of life. So stewardess girl was out of the picture and I eventually marry my wife at the age of 27.
Now on to the sexuality part.. My wife was a virgin, I was her first sexual partner but it was not easy. It took several tries before I was able to have intercourse with her as she was feeling great pains as I try to penetrate. At that point, I knew that my wife requires encouragement in-order to have sex as she feels more pain that pleasure out of it. In our first few years of relationship, the frequnecy of our sex is about 2 times a month which I feel is not a good frequency. Then, something happened.. she got pregnant. Both of us made a decisive decision to abort it during her first few weeks of pregnancy as both of us are not ready for a child at that time. (You can call me names if you want, perhaps I deserve it) That was the turning point of our sexual life, it turned for the worst. After abortion, we did not have sex for a year.. not even petting. Prior to getting married we did have sex once in 6 months although we could not complete the full intercourse as she was experiencing discomfort. During our trip to Japan, we did not have sex either. A few months before our marriage, I had a talk with her about our sexual relationship and asked her about the possible reasons of the pain. She said that it is probably because she was scared to get pregnant again. I tried to help her by introducing a vibrator, game and lubricant but to no avail. I also managed to persuade her to visit the gynae to check if there is anything wrong with her vagina, there wasn't. Anyway, I still love my wife despite her seemingly asexual behavior and decided to marry her thinking that perhpas after marriage things will get better for us.
Well, things did not get better. During the few days in our hotel after the wedding dinner, we did not have sex at all. Whenever I try to touch her intimately, she would be irritated and reject me.
I think I'm a person with high libido,
I really doubt if you have high libido.If that was the case u would have been cheating on her by now. Why do u miss the obvious picture in here?Wife asks u out on ur B-day, then doesn't like sex but gets preg ,irritated when you touch? Let me tell you, she married you for other reasons and ther's sm one else.Wake up!!!
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i got my own secret technique of how to fall a girl into having sex with u but i dont want to spill out here because its my secret. i can tell u if u want but u must promise me u swear not to spread it. My technique really works, i manage to get a bartender into getting me and they said that bartender is a hard egg to crack
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Originally posted by Rock^Star:
I noticed your posts in AA tend to be a lot of unsolicited bullshit :) Most times you talk like you understand a lot but fact is, your understanding of the situation most times is just your oestrogen taking itself on a shameless ego trip.
Yah right.. i don't understand.. you understand a lot har ?
How come nothing much you produce ? Look at your own posts.. all rubbish. No substance no nothing.
A lot of forumers here also post rubbish.. why you don't go lecture them tell them to shut up ? Why ME ? You in love with me isit ? Thank you.. but I really don't need your kind attention.
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Originally posted by Vanilla cake:
i got my own secret technique of how to fall a girl into having sex with u but i dont want to spill out here because its my secret. i can tell u if u want but u must promise me u swear not to spread it. My technique really works, i manage to get a bartender into getting me and they said that bartender is a hard egg to crack
You really dare to bull here
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Originally posted by Vanilla cake:
i got my own secret technique of how to fall a girl into having sex with u but i dont want to spill out here because its my secret. i can tell u if u want but u must promise me u swear not to spread it. My technique really works, i manage to get a bartender into getting me and they said that bartender is a hard egg to crack
How much money you want to scam for that secret ? lol...
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i think the wife has not been watching pron. you must let her watch more pron. get her addicted to it. once she addicted she will be more open to sex and receptance to your approach. must unlock her potential. hospitals also using pron and mags. if not go operation to extract spem for sperm banks? or use some technology to stimulate ejeculation to collect sperm? hmm i think i must go sperm bank to see how they extract sperms.
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Originally posted by Sexless:
Maybe I have not been patient enough with her and I know that she still loves me very much. I was hoping that maybe someone/couple that have gone through a similar situation in a sexless marriage can offer some good advice.
@well to jojobeach
She knows about the air stewardess, I even told her I was dating her when I got to know her. When I dated my wife, I immediately told the stewardess that I'm sorry and I should not contact her anymore. I do not know if you are in a marriage or not but I do feel that a man needs to have sex in a marriage. You are free to make comments and judge me, so that is all I want to say in-regards to your comments.
I know, like i said show more confort to her, i also dono whats your wife's character, is she the strong girl type or the type that needs constant attention. Sexologist and marriage counselling. Call them first before going down with your wife.
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
Yah right.. i don't understand.. you understand a lot har ?
How come nothing much you produce ? Look at your own posts.. all rubbish. No substance no nothing.
A lot of forumers here also post rubbish.. why you don't go lecture them tell them to shut up ? Why ME ? You in love with me isit ? Thank you.. but I really don't need your kind attention.
I refrain from giving advice because only women who have a genuine fear of sex can answer his question. All human beings, regardless of male or female, emotional make-up etc, enjoy sex. Why his wife rejects it? Only those who have been through it can answer. Of course a sexual guru in the form of a specialised psychiatrist can help here.
It's not as simple as you think, give her more care and love bla bla bla. Nah bei, this kind of shit advice also dare to give.
And not just men want great sex after a wedding, women want it too. Women love a lot of sex with the men they love.
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obviously your wife needs medical help.
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Originally posted by Rock^Star:
I refrain from giving advice because only women who have a genuine fear of sex can answer his question. All human beings, regardless of male or female, emotional make-up etc, enjoy sex. Why his wife rejects it? Only those who have been through it can answer. Of course a sexual guru in the form of a specialised psychiatrist can help here.
It's not as simple as you think, give her more care and love bla bla bla. Nah bei, this kind of shit advice also dare to give.
And not just men want great sex after a wedding, women want it too. Women love a lot of sex with the men they love.
Shes only giving advice in a women's point of view. Like me and you in a men's point of view. I will say limit the flames a little bit. No need to quarrel lah.
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Better see a counsuellor who specialises in marriage relationships.
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Originally posted by sg_cabby:
wat's 'tramatise'? u 'beliefs' uncle can tell u cant write properly or not? how many yrs u go school liao? uncle is those nt highly educated old folk. y uncle can tell ur mistake
?dun malu leh. u say ur job>uncle td job. uncle want to know wat job u doing. uncle wants to try leh. maybe my command of engrish (though bad) can let me get the job. ur engrish like worse than uncle
Wow someone is stalking me all the way from whinehouse. SO butt hurt from ytd night ? Really dying to seek attention from me right ? Please lah dont stain aunty agony, go back to whinehouse. I lazy to reply you here. Want seek attention go post in chit chat.
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ts bro.... put a thumbtack at the "after abortion" thing!! and then think... everything went downhill ever since that abortion thingy. maybe... juz maybe deep down inside her that she actually wans the baby but juz go along of wat u said. So i doubt talking would work since she probably lie to u so now u have to be observant. Look at how she reacts when she pass by some couple holding a baby or smth... her reaction maybe is the answer to your problem.
ok.. not to discourage u or anything ah... but MAYBE bio-hawk has a point. cmon... she got irritated when u touch her... no sex.... pissed? she may have some plan of getting married to u or is it a "forced marriage"? idk... not my place to qn that but juz wan to let u knw my views
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Originally posted by Rock^Star:
I refrain from giving advice because only women who have a genuine fear of sex can answer his question. All human beings, regardless of male or female, emotional make-up etc, enjoy sex. Why his wife rejects it? Only those who have been through it can answer. Of course a sexual guru in the form of a specialised psychiatrist can help here.
It's not as simple as you think, give her more care and love bla bla bla. Nah bei, this kind of shit advice also dare to give.
And not just men want great sex after a wedding, women want it too. Women love a lot of sex with the men they love.
Wah.. you really want to nick pick hor ? Try reading the post from the BEGINNING can ? And try to comprehend the contents of this thread with your brain UP there not down there.
I'm telling him stop being a selfish jerk.. you say I only tell him to give love ??? Wow.. dude.. are you on drugs ?
Women want a lot of sex true we want to enjoy sex too .. but they don't want to have to ABORT a baby.. understand this SIMPLE part..can ?
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I think Ts loves hisr wife a lot. No idea what happen at the abortion thing, but seems like everything got stuck there, talk to the counsellor first, no point posting here anymore. Listen to what that person has to say.
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
Wah.. you really want to nick pick hor ? Try reading the post from the BEGINNING can ? And try to comprehend the contents of this thread with your brain UP there not down there.
I'm telling him stop being a selfish jerk.. you say I only tell him to give love ??? Wow.. dude.. are you on drugs ?
Women want a lot of sex true we want to enjoy sex too .. but they don't want to have to ABORT a baby.. understand this SIMPLE part..can ?
He said he's not ready for a baby. So how? The baby can strain or even kill the marriage if both parties do not agree on one beforehand.
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Originally posted by TTFU:
I think Ts loves hisr wife a lot. No idea what happen at the abortion thing, but seems like everything got stuck there, talk to the counsellor first, no point posting here anymore. Listen to what that person has to say.
Best way out. -
Going through an abortion is a very traumatizing experience. No matter how early the abortion is. That might have scarred her physiologically, thus sex = pain and the recap of the abortion. I don’t think she can be stimulated in that state. So you know….can’t force it in. maybe I mean maybe, try something else rather than sex ?
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must be the guy everytime want sex sex sex sex morning sex at nite sex at work also sex. if not he wrote the wife intelligent not mountain turtle type she will not know how to take precaution meh? she will not insist the guy put conlum meh? must be the guy want to be a man wasay more shiok don;t put conlum. then tio toto 4d pregnent go abort when some one of the two don;t want to have baby. blame pappy gahmen lah when this type of problem directly cause low sg birth rate. the girl horny also fear to have sex with TS lar. latter abortion again. you think aborption like masturbation or ejeculation so simple so shiok so easy arh. the prblem from ts is clear as a book to read. and i sense TS has a part to be bllamed. only he photoshopped his side of the story, or he reaally ignorant about it. 27yrs odl do not mean you really mature ebough to get married start a family, or even have sexual relationships responsibly.
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Originally posted by Rock^Star:
He said he's not ready for a baby. So how? The baby can strain or even kill the marriage if both parties do not agree on one beforehand.
Do you need a pair of reading glass to read what I has posted ?
They want to fark without getting pregnant while not using any contraceptive. Yet want a baby later in life.
Keep the sperm in a cryogenic lab. Get a vasectomy.
Then when ready to have baby.. go for artificial insemination with his sperm defrosted. Implant the fertilized egg into wife's womb.
Understand ? Or too cheem for you ah ?
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u both have identified that vaginismus could be the reason, then treat it
it is the easiest sexual condition to be treated
some more she was pregnant before so there was obviously penetrated sex beforeerm... foreplay foreplay... relax relax...
talk to psychiatrist/gynae/doctor
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Originally posted by TTFU:
Wow someone is stalking me all the way from whinehouse. SO butt hurt from ytd night ? Really dying to seek attention from me right ? Please lah dont stain aunty agony, go back to whinehouse. I lazy to reply you here. Want seek attention go post in chit chat.
boyboy scared ar just say u scared liao then uncle sayang u then walk off lor. dun be 'tramatise' leh. 'beliefs' uncle. uncle is nice and friendly one. uncle children already in uni le. maybe ur father dunno how to teach u so u cannot even go unifollow uncle surname call uncle father then uncle teach u la
want or nt but uncle dun mind 1 more son. dun bring mummy along ar. polygamy not allowed -
see a psychologist and a sexologist. You could see just 1 person if that particular person has the relevant qualifications.
Time waits for no man.