My trampled pathetic life
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Thanks for all the advices. Move on.
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Originally posted by VexTeen92:
Hi all, so this is what is going on.
I have a elder sis, 8 years older than me. Got married when she was 18 yr old with a man 8 years older than herself. so after 7 years, they divorce due to 3rd party intrude and the man is no good himself. My sis gave birth to 2 kids from this marriage. 1 is now a primary 2 school kid and one is still 2 yr old going to 3 yr old.
In the past, when i was still younger, from primary 5 onwards, i started to help out in looking after her kids. until last year when things turned ugly. She had always see herself as someone very impt, and there is nothing more impt than her. she likes to ask for help from her family and then after helping her out, she will turn her back off and return to her normal arrogant self.
I was bullied by my bro and her since young, often get beatings for no apparent reason. I tried to kill myself when i was primary 4 as life is very tough for me for everyday i will get beatings and my head banged against the wall. My mum works overseas during that time and my dad often not at home. I was afraid of them that time as they would threaten me with horrible things. I sank into depression and eventually everything came alight when I couldn't bear the stress anymore. I went for counselling. But i have communication problem, i was extremely quiet and was quite autistic. However when in front of my friends, I am no diff from any other kids. So, after some time i was freed from these physical torturmentation.
However, the mental tormentation still stayed. When her baby come into this world, I was not spared. I need to rush home everyday and help out. Until secondary school, i took care of her kids. As i am a fat person, i often get insults from her whenever she feels that i am not doing a good job. i was stupid that time. i had zero appreciation from her.
Last year, during her divorcing she moved her whole family into our flat. But she herself stayed on in her own flat. she gave excuses like she needs a person to watch over her family. But i was having my O level examination, so my after discussion she n my mum decided to get a maid. But it turned out it was a bad choice becoz the maid was lazy and even threaten to jump off building when i scolded her. She caused alot of wounds n bruises on my niece and i flared up. But instead, i got scoldings from my sis. She blamed me for everything, all her misery, i was part of it. and her true thoughts abt me came off shooting from her mouth.
She lashed at me saying: Not only you looked like a pig but you act like one too. And she carry on commenting abt my looks and my life, saying i have no life and little friends. And she would like to see how i can survive when i am out in the society. i was insulted n ridiculed. My mum was present that day, but she kept quiet. I felt very indignant for myself.
I had always been low self esteem until recent years where i begin to mature and know more abt life. I may be fat and not much of a looker, but do i deserve that from my own family? Many times i wanted to question my mum, why? I had no life becoz of their ridiculous doings. do i derserve that??? but i know its not gonna solve the prob bcoz my elder sis will use her kids as trump card to get everything her way.
I now have to retake my O level exams as private candidate becoz i couldn't study well last year. I wasted so much of my youthful years to help her out, but in the end i get nothing in return except insults and zero appreciation.
When it comes to kids, old people can do anything for their sake. I now decided not to be stupid and further add to my own misery. But, my mum was so smart. Knowing it was Vesak day, a day where my mood is good. she implemented a task on me, it is to help my sis again. I refused, knowing it was never ending and it would again affect my studies and personal improvement. I gave her a black face. She told me 没有办法...etc... I didn't speak.
Why the heck should i help her? there is a limit to helping people. anyway its her kids, not mine. How the hell is it my fault if she cannot manage her time well and juggle her household? she choose this path herself and i see no reason to suffer with her.
I hate people like her, who uses kids as trump cards. (I am not against the kids)
It doesn't mean you are older, you are more matured in your thinking. Some people just never grow up. Single parenting is not an excuse to be unreasonable. moreover you choose to be one yourself.
K since you took some time to share your story out. I will also share with you my set of advices.
Firstly is to have pride in your life. You are borned not to be a slave to your siblings. Have your own mindset and own thinking. Be strong in your views, No means no. Yes means yes.
Secondly, is to go to a professional counsellor and pour out your problems. Professional advice like those will help, note if you are at a forum, beware of trolls. Read things with a open mind.
Thirdly about fat. Try to do something about it. Exercise, proper dieting. Going to vist a doct. Its important to take care of your personal grooming as well.
Fourth about siblings. You dont owe them anything note is is in bold. If helping them and getting abused and insulted is the result. Obviously take a strong stand and stop.
Your studies, yes it is important. So at least have some time to revise your work and pass your O levels.
If the maid is bad, consider changing her. Report her misdeeds to the agency and fire her ass straight away.
Lastly, abusing yourself. You are not a toy, a human. They should not abuse you, obviously you should not hurt yourself. Stop hurting yourself. Try and think of solutions to solve your problems. Dont give in too easily without a fight.
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Don't be sad, people usually get what they deserve.
I'm not cursing your family or whatever, but I don't think your sister and your parents are happy individuals.
What can you do? They are still your family.
All I can say is, GANBATTE!
When you've reached the lowest point in your life, it'll only get better not worse (since it's the lowest point).
If you really can't take it anymore, I would advise you to talk this over with your sis, or just show her this post if you find it hard to tell her this face to face.
Either that or you work hard now, earn enough money to support yourself and then break free from your family. I'm not telling you to sever all ties with them, but I do think that you should get away from all these negativity as soon as you can.
Hope your life gets better!
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The maid had been sent back. and her family had moved back. but now she wants me to help her out again. I understand this is a open forum and there would be trolls... i dun mind them. Abt being fat, i am comfortable with it now, not like in the past where i will feel bad abt everything. Of course i need to do something with my weight, i am not gonna stay on like this forever.
prob is, my mum is forcing it on me to help her out.
thanks for ur reply anyway...
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Originally posted by littlemissbonkers:
Don't be sad, people usually get what they deserve.
I'm not cursing your family or whatever, but I don't think your sister and your parents are happy individuals.
What can you do? They are still your family.
All I can say is, GANBATTE!
When you've reached the lowest point in your life, it'll only get better not worse (since it's the lowest point).
If you really can't take it anymore, I would advise you to talk this over with your sis, or just show her this post if you find it hard to tell her this face to face.
Either that or you work hard now, earn enough money to support yourself and then break free from your family. I'm not telling you to sever all ties with them, but I do think that you should get away from all these negativity as soon as you can.
Hope your life gets better!
Thanks
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Originally posted by VexTeen92:
The maid had been sent back. and her family had moved back. but now she wants me to help her out again. I understand this is a open forum and there would be trolls... i dun mind them. Abt being fat, i am comfortable with it now, not like in the past where i will feel bad abt everything. Of course i need to do something with my weight, i am not gonna stay on like this forever.
prob is, my mum is forcing it on me to help her out.
thanks for ur reply anyway...
Then you need to make the decision yourself. Juggle your time. Near exam time ofc revise your work more. Dont let it affect your work. And also, helping out doesnt mean you should get scolded or abused. Tell your sis that you dont like her comments and ask her to stop insulting you.
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Originally posted by VexTeen92:
Thanks
Welcome
By the way, if she keeps forcing you to help out, and you don't want to. Then put your foot down and refuse her.
Tell her that you have your own life and you're not a babysitter. In fact ask her to pay someone else to babysit her kids. Or if you want, find out if there's anyone within your circle of friends who don't mind babysitting part time, then recommend them to her.
You're almost an adult le (I'm assuming you're ard 18-20) so don't let them push you around anymore. Make it clear to them that you're not gonna screw up your 'O' levels again because of their selfish needs.
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Absolutely correct TTFU. Some advice. I'm sorry, but å¿ è¨€é€†è€³
1) Most important : Never blame. It's always your choice. Blaming will not gets you better in life. Treat it as a lesson. Be positive.
2) Your sister : Use confrontation. "why are you telling me to help when you are complaining I'm a pig". "Look after your own mess." "What do I get exactly for helping you" "What goes around comes around. You never respect me, so why should I?"
You know what your sister is like. By keeping quiet, it means she's right. By confronting her, you are teaching her to be reflective of herself. In the world, people smiles and hide bad things. you are her close one, it is your job to lead/guide her. Or, she may be SOOO clever that she is good to others, but bad to family. know what I mean? She's old, she knows the world better than you.
3) Children : They are innocent and shouldn't be dragged into the picture, yes. children see and learn from their parents. Can you see the short term vs long term effect? taking care of them = short term. learning the right values = long term.
4) Fat : If you are genetically fat, no choice. If no, exercise. fat is a biased representative of how well-controlled you are. Be glad it's Singapore. In Japan, you may not even get a job, because you are fat.
5) O-level : it's still a small case. retake. Be serious over degree. Because if it's bad, it's forever over. There is only one 3 year you can afford to spend in your youth.
Your last three paragraphs tell me you are ranting. Use actions than words.
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Originally posted by littlemissbonkers:
WelcomeBy the way, if she keeps forcing you to help out, and you don't want to. Then put your foot down and refuse her.
Tell her that you have your own life and you're not a babysitter. In fact ask her to pay someone else to babysit her kids. Or if you want, find out if there's anyone within your circle of friends who don't mind babysitting part time, then recommend them to her.
You're almost an adult le (I'm assuming you're ard 18-20) so don't let them push you around anymore. Make it clear to them that you're not gonna screw up your 'O' levels again because of their selfish needs.
ya u r right. I am 18. I asked my mum to get another maid. she say she dun have the $ to hire one. I am a free maid to them. But never mind, i decided. i will rebuke all the way. thanks again.
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Hi Vexteen92,
First, I would like to express my sympathy and condolences for your difficulties....
I think you must be a strong person to endure such trials....
Do not worry......
Everything happened for a reason.....
Maybe, to look at it positively, it can be a valuable experience that is beneficial to your character building. In the future you will be more mature and wise.
I think regarding the issue itself......maybe you can talk and explain patiently to your mom and sister that you need some time alone for your personal growth........that you feel burnt out and tired because you've been overloaded with the childcare chores, and that you need time to study and do well.....
If you can talk like that, I think they would understand.....
But I personally dont think it;s a good idea to completely cut off your sister and completely not help her. Just reduce the intensity and frequency. For example, maybe during weekend you can still visit and help a bit.
In my opinion siblings relations is a complex relations. However, sometimes people make mistakes and say things in the heat of the moment. Sometimes also people lash out because they have internal stress and depression and issues. Therefore she may look arrogant to you, but actually deep down she may be a very insecure person.
But anyways, whatever is the case, siblings relations in my opinion deserves to be saved. So do not completely decide to chuck away your sister, although right now the stress and pressures is unbearable to you. This is a temporary phase and temporary stage in life. What I recommend you to do is to reduce the load of the stress and try to find inner balance.
I wish you well.
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Originally posted by Moka:
Absolutely correct TTFU. Some advice. I'm sorry, but å¿ è¨€é€†è€³
1) Most important : Never blame. It's always your choice. Blaming will not gets you better in life. Treat it as a lesson. Be positive.
2) Your sister : Use confrontation. "why are you telling me to help when you are complaining I'm a pig". "Look after your own mess." "What do I get exactly for helping you" "What goes around comes around. You never respect me, so why should I?"
You know what your sister is like. By keeping quiet, it means she's right. By confronting her, you are teaching her to be reflective of herself. In the world, people smiles and hide bad things. you are her close one, it is your job to lead/guide her. Or, she may be SOOO clever that she is good to others, but bad to family. know what I mean? She's old, she knows the world better than you.
3) Children : They are innocent and shouldn't be dragged into the picture, yes. children see and learn from their parents. Can you see the short term vs long term effect? taking care of them = short term. learning the right values = long term.
4) Fat : If you are genetically fat, no choice. If no, exercise. fat is a biased representative of how well-controlled you are. Be glad it's Singapore. In Japan, you may not even get a job, because you are fat.
5) O-level : it's still a small case. retake. Be serious over degree. Because if it's bad, it's forever over. There is only one 3 year you can afford to spend in your youth.
Your last three paragraphs tell me you are ranting. Use actions than words.
Thanks for replying... last 3 sentence: Absolute ranting. This whole topic is sorta ranting.
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Originally posted by Veggie Bao:
Hi Vexteen92,
First, I would like to express my sympathy and condolences for your difficulties....
I think you must be a strong person to endure such trials....
Do not worry......
Everything happened for a reason.....
Maybe, to look at it positively, it can be a valuable experience that is beneficial to your character building. In the future you will be more mature and wise.
I think regarding the issue itself......maybe you can talk and explain patiently to your mom and sister that you need some time alone for your personal growth........that you feel burnt out and tired because you've been overloaded with the childcare chores, and that you need time to study and do well.....
If you can talk like that, I think they would understand.....
But I personally dont think it;s a good idea to completely cut off your sister and completely not help her. Just reduce the intensity and frequency. For example, maybe during weekend you can still visit and help a bit.
In my opinion siblings relations is a complex relations. However, sometimes people make mistakes and say things in the heat of the moment. Sometimes also people lash out because they have internal stress and depression and issues. Therefore she may look arrogant to you, but actually deep down she may be a very insecure person.
But anyways, whatever is the case, siblings relations in my opinion deserves to be saved. So do not completely decide to chuck away your sister, although right now the stress and pressures is unbearable to you. This is a temporary phase and temporary stage in life. What I recommend you to do is to reduce the load of the stress and try to find inner balance.
I wish you well.
Thanks for reply. I am chucking her away for good until I can balance my life then shall see again....
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Uhm....Ok.....but please do it gently and subtly......actually I recommend a reduction of stress load (reduce the frequency of childcare chores).......please dont shut yourself off totally....because this may seriously hurt your sister and your mother......
Try to do things with minimum damage.
After all, they are also your loved ones.
They also have their weaknesses and faults and character flaws, and they didnt know better. In a tough and difficult situation, sometimes they make mistakes which hurt you. I think you should try to be a mature and wise person and be patient.
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Originally posted by Veggie Bao:
Uhm....Ok.....but please do it gently and subtly......actually I recommend a reduction of stress load (reduce the frequency of childcare chores).......please dont shut yourself off totally....because this may seriously hurt your sister and your mother......
Try to do things with minimum damage.
After all, they are also your loved ones.
They also have their weaknesses and faults and character flaws, and they didnt know better. In a tough and difficult situation, sometimes they make mistakes which hurt you. I think you should try to be a mature and wise person and be patient.
U have a point. thanks. i think i am very patient already. if the "soft" way dun work, i think she shld have a taste of her own medicine. shall do accordingly to the circumstances. thanks again.
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Originally posted by VexTeen92:
Hi all, so this is what is going on.
I have a elder sis, 8 years older than me. Got married when she was 18 yr old with a man 8 years older than herself. so after 7 years, they divorce due to 3rd party intrude and the man is no good himself. My sis gave birth to 2 kids from this marriage. 1 is now a primary 2 school kid and one is still 2 yr old going to 3 yr old.
In the past, when i was still younger, from primary 5 onwards, i started to help out in looking after her kids. until last year when things turned ugly. She had always see herself as someone very impt, and there is nothing more impt than her. she likes to ask for help from her family and then after helping her out, she will turn her back off and return to her normal arrogant self.
I was bullied by my bro and her since young, often get beatings for no apparent reason. I tried to kill myself when i was primary 4 as life is very tough for me for everyday i will get beatings and my head banged against the wall. My mum works overseas during that time and my dad often not at home. I was afraid of them that time as they would threaten me with horrible things. I sank into depression and eventually everything came alight when I couldn't bear the stress anymore. I went for counselling. But i have communication problem, i was extremely quiet and was quite autistic. However when in front of my friends, I am no diff from any other kids. So, after some time i was freed from these physical torturmentation.
However, the mental tormentation still stayed. When her baby come into this world, I was not spared. I need to rush home everyday and help out. Until secondary school, i took care of her kids. As i am a fat person, i often get insults from her whenever she feels that i am not doing a good job. i was stupid that time. i had zero appreciation from her.
Last year, during her divorcing she moved her whole family into our flat. But she herself stayed on in her own flat. she gave excuses like she needs a person to watch over her family. But i was having my O level examination, so my after discussion she n my mum decided to get a maid. But it turned out it was a bad choice becoz the maid was lazy and even threaten to jump off building when i scolded her. She caused alot of wounds n bruises on my niece and i flared up. But instead, i got scoldings from my sis. She blamed me for everything, all her misery, i was part of it. and her true thoughts abt me came off shooting from her mouth.
She lashed at me saying: Not only you looked like a pig but you act like one too. And she carry on commenting abt my looks and my life, saying i have no life and little friends. And she would like to see how i can survive when i am out in the society. i was insulted n ridiculed. My mum was present that day, but she kept quiet. I felt very indignant for myself.
I had always been low self esteem until recent years where i begin to mature and know more abt life. I may be fat and not much of a looker, but do i deserve that from my own family? Many times i wanted to question my mum, why? I had no life becoz of their ridiculous doings. do i derserve that??? but i know its not gonna solve the prob bcoz my elder sis will use her kids as trump card to get everything her way.
I now have to retake my O level exams as private candidate becoz i couldn't study well last year. I wasted so much of my youthful years to help her out, but in the end i get nothing in return except insults and zero appreciation.
When it comes to kids, old people can do anything for their sake. I now decided not to be stupid and further add to my own misery. But, my mum was so smart. Knowing it was Vesak day, a day where my mood is good. she implemented a task on me, it is to help my sis again. I refused, knowing it was never ending and it would again affect my studies and personal improvement. I gave her a black face. She told me 没有办法...etc... I didn't speak.
Why the heck should i help her? there is a limit to helping people. anyway its her kids, not mine. How the hell is it my fault if she cannot manage her time well and juggle her household? she choose this path herself and i see no reason to suffer with her.
I hate people like her, who uses kids as trump cards. (I am not against the kids)
It doesn't mean you are older, you are more matured in your thinking. Some people just never grow up. Single parenting is not an excuse to be unreasonable. moreover you choose to be one yourself.
Stand up for yourself. If you won't do it for yourself, no one else will.
Your siblings and mother are taking advantage of your kindness and view it as your weakness.
Don't let them push you around. Stop short changing yourself.
They need you more than you need them. Have some self-worth.
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Dear VexTeen92,
sorry to hear abt yr family situation. Honestly, I feel you really need additional help from professionals like Family Service Centre (FSC) under Ministry of Community Development (http://app.mcys.gov.sg/web/faml_supfaml_familyservicesctr.asp), as you don't have much say and support in your family. They have the necessary manpower, skills, experience and resources to help you and your family. This forum is not the place to help you or give you the best advice and support to improve your current situation.
Pls don't say this following part to your mum or family members; I'm just saying this for your ears only: To be very very blunt and frank, your family members are not mature enough to help or advise you much in your current situation. Fact is: your sister messed up her life and is still messing up her own life as well as others around her, due to her poor choices in life. But you deserve every chance to make your life turn out well.
Speak to your mum in private, tell her that you'll like your family situation to improve, and that you wish to have time to concentrate on your studies, to have a better future for your whole family. Try to convince her that your family would benefit from external and caring professionals. No point fighting or quarrelling with your family members, as it'll only worsen matters for you. They also do not have sufficient maturity to make sense of your current problems and concerns, so you need trained professionals to give you the support you desperately need.
There's a reason why we're born into the families that we're all in, for better or for worse. Perhaps you may understand that better in future. But most importantly for now, don't ever do things that may seem like short-term solutions, eg. run away from home, commit suicide, take drugs, etc to get some temporary distractions. They will not solve your problems, but will end up worsening it, in the longer term.
Hope your situation improves soon. Do try as best as you can to seek MCYS FSC's help asap.
Rainbow Jigsaw of Life
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are you financially independent ? my advice is to break away fm the family if it is pulling you down. i don't mean cut ties but get a life of your own. do you want to slave your life for family members who create so much problem and drag you down ?
family is family, we should help when we can but not at the expense of our life. this is what i learnt through hard experience when i got heavily involved in a family incident resulting in my incurring a personal loss which changed my life's course.
some family members are experts at instilling guilt hence entrapping you for life. we must be careful about this. our hearts are not made of stone, nevertheless we must learn to protect ourselves... yes even against our family
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TS u boy or girl?
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Originally posted by Rainbow Jigsaw:
Dear VexTeen92,
sorry to hear abt yr family situation. Honestly, I feel you really need additional help from professionals like Family Service Centre (FSC) under Ministry of Community Development (http://app.mcys.gov.sg/web/faml_supfaml_familyservicesctr.asp), as you don't have much say and support in your family. They have the necessary manpower, skills, experience and resources to help you and your family. This forum is not the place to help you or give you the best advice and support to improve your current situation.
Pls don't say this following part to your mum or family members; I'm just saying this for your ears only: To be very very blunt and frank, your family members are not mature enough to help or advise you much in your current situation. Fact is: your sister messed up her life and is still messing up her own life as well as others around her, due to her poor choices in life. But you deserve every chance to make your life turn out well.
Speak to your mum in private, tell her that you'll like your family situation to improve, and that you wish to have time to concentrate on your studies, to have a better future for your whole family. Try to convince her that your family would benefit from external and caring professionals. No point fighting or quarrelling with your family members, as it'll only worsen matters for you. They also do not have sufficient maturity to make sense of your current problems and concerns, so you need trained professionals to give you the support you desperately need.
There's a reason why we're born into the families that we're all in, for better or for worse. Perhaps you may understand that better in future. But most importantly for now, don't ever do things that may seem like short-term solutions, eg. run away from home, commit suicide, take drugs, etc to get some temporary distractions. They will not solve your problems, but will end up worsening it, in the longer term.
Hope your situation improves soon. Do try as best as you can to seek MCYS FSC's help asap.
Rainbow Jigsaw of Life
Thanks. I will see to it if there is a need. I may need support from ppl... but now I am not really in the baddest situation... I just feel very annoyed and indignant. perhaps it is a time for me to let them know that i've grown up and they cannot rule me as per before... I will be firm in my stand when the confrontation comes. Thanks again.
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Originally posted by koet:
are you financially independent ? my advice is to break away fm the family if it is pulling you down. i don't mean cut ties but get a life of your own. do you want to slave your life for family members who create so much problem and drag you down ?
family is family, we should help when we can but not at the expense of our life. this is what i learnt through hard experience when i got heavily involved in a family incident resulting in my incurring a personal loss which changed my life's course.
some family members are experts at instilling guilt hence entrapping you for life. we must be careful about this. our hearts are not made of stone, nevertheless we must learn to protect ourselves... yes even against our family
No... I am still studying.. but nevermind i will soon be able to earn my own $. Agree to what you've said. Thanks for reply.
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Originally posted by seyKai:
TS u boy or girl?
girl.
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Originally posted by VexTeen92:
Hi all, so this is what is going on.
I have a elder sis, 8 years older than me. Got married when she was 18 yr old with a man 8 years older than herself. so after 7 years, they divorce due to 3rd party intrude and the man is no good himself. My sis gave birth to 2 kids from this marriage. 1 is now a primary 2 school kid and one is still 2 yr old going to 3 yr old.
In the past, when i was still younger, from primary 5 onwards, i started to help out in looking after her kids. until last year when things turned ugly. She had always see herself as someone very impt, and there is nothing more impt than her. she likes to ask for help from her family and then after helping her out, she will turn her back off and return to her normal arrogant self.
I was bullied by my bro and her since young, often get beatings for no apparent reason. I tried to kill myself when i was primary 4 as life is very tough for me for everyday i will get beatings and my head banged against the wall. My mum works overseas during that time and my dad often not at home. I was afraid of them that time as they would threaten me with horrible things. I sank into depression and eventually everything came alight when I couldn't bear the stress anymore. I went for counselling. But i have communication problem, i was extremely quiet and was quite autistic. However when in front of my friends, I am no diff from any other kids. So, after some time i was freed from these physical torturmentation.
However, the mental tormentation still stayed. When her baby come into this world, I was not spared. I need to rush home everyday and help out. Until secondary school, i took care of her kids. As i am a fat person, i often get insults from her whenever she feels that i am not doing a good job. i was stupid that time. i had zero appreciation from her.
Last year, during her divorcing she moved her whole family into our flat. But she herself stayed on in her own flat. she gave excuses like she needs a person to watch over her family. But i was having my O level examination, so my after discussion she n my mum decided to get a maid. But it turned out it was a bad choice becoz the maid was lazy and even threaten to jump off building when i scolded her. She caused alot of wounds n bruises on my niece and i flared up. But instead, i got scoldings from my sis. She blamed me for everything, all her misery, i was part of it. and her true thoughts abt me came off shooting from her mouth.
She lashed at me saying: Not only you looked like a pig but you act like one too. And she carry on commenting abt my looks and my life, saying i have no life and little friends. And she would like to see how i can survive when i am out in the society. i was insulted n ridiculed. My mum was present that day, but she kept quiet. I felt very indignant for myself.
I had always been low self esteem until recent years where i begin to mature and know more abt life. I may be fat and not much of a looker, but do i deserve that from my own family? Many times i wanted to question my mum, why? I had no life becoz of their ridiculous doings. do i derserve that??? but i know its not gonna solve the prob bcoz my elder sis will use her kids as trump card to get everything her way.
I now have to retake my O level exams as private candidate becoz i couldn't study well last year. I wasted so much of my youthful years to help her out, but in the end i get nothing in return except insults and zero appreciation.
When it comes to kids, old people can do anything for their sake. I now decided not to be stupid and further add to my own misery. But, my mum was so smart. Knowing it was Vesak day, a day where my mood is good. she implemented a task on me, it is to help my sis again. I refused, knowing it was never ending and it would again affect my studies and personal improvement. I gave her a black face. She told me 没有办法...etc... I didn't speak.
Why the heck should i help her? there is a limit to helping people. anyway its her kids, not mine. How the hell is it my fault if she cannot manage her time well and juggle her household? she choose this path herself and i see no reason to suffer with her.
I hate people like her, who uses kids as trump cards. (I am not against the kids)
It doesn't mean you are older, you are more matured in your thinking. Some people just never grow up. Single parenting is not an excuse to be unreasonable. moreover you choose to be one yourself.
Seems like you already know what you want do for yourself and nothing else for you family.You have already condemned your family to Hell in your topic post, why do you need us to give you further support for you to cut off all your obligations towards your family?
Is it because you are also aware that what you were planning to do is a bad thing to do to your OWN FAMILY?
Did you Mum also lashed out at you or mistreated you like you're not one of her own daughters?
Do you think your decision not to help your sister is something that would makes your Mum happy?
It's sad enough for your Mother to see one insensible daughter misbehaving and lost in her own path in life. Do you really want your Mother to witness the other daughter to be insensible and bear hatred for her sister too?
Do you really love your Mum and your family or do you really just love yourself the most?
Is revenge really so important for you right now?
Why didn't you defend yourself and talk back at your sister when you were insulted/humiliated by her?
If you choose to keep quiet because you were a coward and afraid because you were young or because that's not your character to talk back, then so be it and let it go since it has already happened so long ago.
You can be the different and better daughter to your Mum, it's up to you to make that decision and stick to it for the sake of yourself.
And when you have daughters of your own in the future, you will probably laugh over them inside your hearts for what had happened to you in your past between you and your sister.
Be graceful and gracious, and I don't mind if you are twisted and angry at the retarded people in this forums once in a while. But be graceful and gracious in your real world and be KIND to yourself.
There are greater pain waiting for you in the future if you choose not to let this pain go.
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Originally posted by VexTeen92:
Thanks. I will see to it if there is a need. I may need support from ppl... but now I am not really in the baddest situation... I just feel very annoyed and indignant. perhaps it is a time for me to let them know that i've grown up and they cannot rule me as per before... I will be firm in my stand when the confrontation comes. Thanks again.
Yes, a human is a human, not a puppet. if something is making you feel uncofortable, say it out. Keeping to yourself will not help things
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The sister so good sia. Now divorce liao still can get half of the guy's asset.
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@ parnie : is being graceful and gracious being continually to be a permanent slave to her sister. You should have read how TS's sister is like and is unlikely to change. TS's mum has already being inclined to side the elder sister when the issue comes in, so TS's sister and mum are of one body against her. TS have no source of help for this matter and that makes her open to makan. So do u expect TS to do nothing and forever being a slave. If ur willing to take TS place, i have nothing to say.
