well ive got two teenage guys n both of them seems to have no interest in simple chats at even if its not about the studying which i know definitely will bore them n will think of it as just a nagging time again ,will any teens please speak up ,if feel that way when ur parents start speakin to u .
Originally posted by Ssirajjj:well ive got two teenage guys n both of them seems to have no interest in simple chats at even if its not about the studying which i know definitely will bore them n will think of it as just a nagging time again ,will any teens please speak up ,if feel that way when ur parents start speakin to u .
one of the factors may be, they think ur too naggy/irritating to a certain extent. U might wanna try to blend into their lifestyle, understand them more thru their way..be flexible, if they cannot accept it this way, try another way...keep trying...majority of such teens are like, "talk to u oso no use...u wont understand one" So, take a diffeent approach...do activities that they like with them..speak their lingo, thus earning their trust and comfortability ( if theres such word ) to speak their mind with u. Patience is a virtue...
TS: Don't worry about your son..
Just let him be the way he wants..
I was previously in that situation..as a retained Sec 3 express student too..
Don't get overly worried than your son if he himself isn't concern about his future..
Letting him fail his examinations isn't a bad thing..in fact..if you let him rot..when he fails, or is given the special permission to resit for exam again to get to sec 4, he will than wake up his idea..
no point worrying, giving undue stress on yourself when your son isn't at least bothered at the moment..
Let him fail, if the school didn't give any chance of resit for exams to go to sec 4 express, so be it..let him retain in sec 3 express..that 1 yr of repeat schooling with peers 1yr younger can either strengthen or weaken your son..
what i went through back than..was to question myself, my future..who's responsible for my future..is it my parents or myself..
so if you are worried for your son more than your son himself..he will have the idea and thinking of "okay, since my mom is more worried than me, my mom is responsible for my future, so I need not work so hard since she worries/poke her nose so much into things..so she's obliged to take care of me"
take note that when your son shows this kind of thinking and mindset...you are in deep trouble..for you will be having to pick up if not clear the mess every time your son commits a mistake in future..be it debts, fighting, arugement etc..
rather than helping him now, let him fail..if he can wake up his idea..its good for both you and him..if he doesn't at least he knows he is in-charge and in control of his own life..that year of repeating sec 3, is when he thinks for himself..
regardless of what you do..your son will eventually grow up, but don't show that you're concern about his future..let him be..you will benefit either way..(the only temporary lose is face as a adult for son having to repeat..)but in years to come..your son will make you proud as a adult..to take responsibility for his own actions..than to depend on their parents for back-up.. (see,ask and read up, how many weddings out there are based on financial help from parents with children helpess on financial aspect.)
what kind of son you want him to be..you decide..
PS: sorry for the lengthy post..
fallen.
Time for ROTAN.
NO more pocket money. No more good food. STUDY or KANA ROTAN.
it'll work. it's good for him.
thks for the good advices that you all have given me i hope only good will happen to him since its absolutely correct that its not easy to raise a child alone , very frustrating having to work n go home n face the problems they r creating with not much backing n the education just too difficult for them to cope n im worrried that they wont have a good future n i only hope that the child will realise bfore its too late ,guess too much worring thats killing the parents nowadays ,only hope the teenagers will realise n make things easier for the parents
lols. Well, im like 21 this year. I reacted somewhat like your son a few years back. But i have improved slightly i tink.
Personally, there are many factors that cause your bad relations betweens your kids.
i speak from a teen point of view. Some parents just scold/speak what they thinks is right, but from a teen view, we just feel why don't you listen and understand what i m doing/saying? Therefore, teen won't speak to parents about any problem.
Besides that, not that he doesn't like goin out with you or is shy going out with you. Perhaps he just dislike some habits of you or perhaps the way you do things when you guys are out together. Thats why he is reacting this manner.
On top of that, childhood impression is god damn important to a kid/teen. Things that you hurt them direct/indirectly will leave a scar in them. Not sure if you left one in them.
And i believe the more you scold/control him, the more he rebel. So beware of this.
Some things change for me after my dad had cancer. things then gradually improve after being enlightened during a overseas volunteer work.
Well, not sure if it helps. But if you understand your child psychologically, you would definitely change things.
Just my 2cents worth of thoughts ;)
good thoughts u ve given me something to think about ,though i do wish to hear from more teens n parents if they face the same problem as me
ive also tried offering him money if gets good result ,dosnt seem to help much n has no interest in money
lol. i tink money is the last thing you wanna offer. cause it hardly helps in this kind of cases. lols.
If you need help in discplining ur sons , i will be more then willing to help .
how do u think i should disciplin him?
Originally posted by Ssirajjj:how do u think i should disciplin him?
leave em to the professionals , coz no matter what u do or say will only fall on deaf ears. Sit back and relax and wait for results . Just pay the fees that is involved. I will be more then happy to help .
Hmmm, some things you have to do it personally. Not by getting someone to do it.
Even if you really need someone to do it. Get a volunteer councillor from some association. I believe they are more professional in this area with plenty of experiences.
Originally posted by CutePenguin:
leave em to the professionals , coz no matter what u do or say will only fall on deaf ears. Sit back and relax and wait for results . Just pay the fees that is involved. I will be more then happy to help .
Who are the professionals?U?