Lost and doesn't know how to respond anymore
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Deleted by TS
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Originally posted by farnee:
Hi people, i need some mature advice from forum's guys and gals. As i am feeling very vex and confuse right now and don't really know how to handle it.
There is this guy in my office, who has just join us a month ago. And we actually hit it off quite well, He will actually made attempt to tell me his lifestyle, past relationship and when we went out he would take care of me "buy food / drinks etc.. for me.
recently over the sms during the chat unwittly, he asked if i like him ? But the 2nd sentences was " Better not, i will avoid you if you do" i asked why did he ask that ? he said it was human instincts.
when i press further how he felt for me " his responds was " you are comfortable to be with, but to get together and be together is different. And we are not suitable."
So i told him, i have interest initially but then lied to him that after knowing him i dnt coz of his lifestyle doesn't fit into mine.
(i said that because he say if i confess he will avoid me) humh...now after few weeks, things get into confusing stage.
We have been exchanging sms these few weeks during the nite, he also will unwittly tell me where he is or reaches home late. i am puzzle by his respond. He is interested in me or not ? Arrhh...
Last night he told me he is looking for companion and marriage to talk about that later..
(the statement was a general statement, and i am not sure if its meant for me ?)I doesn't want to go into a companion mode with him not knowing if it will lead me to no where ? Or should i go into companion mode with him, and develope relationship from there ? he keep telling me he is free during weekend, and with the workload and OT quite difficult for him to find GF and maint one relationship..
Arrhh.. i am confuse.. Help me pls..He is flirting with you. Flirt back lor.
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Farnee - This man is playing with you and your brains.
He is saying things to you to program your subconscious.He suddenly ask do you like him ? will force you suddenly analyse your feeling for him - which already yes, after all the effort he have put in.
" Better not, i will avoid you if you do" "we are not suitable" - is to get your mind thinking of thousand and one reason why not ? Also a little danger excitment to simulate your mind to get it hook. After your subconscious run through 10 possible reasons against it, you actually program your brain - that he and you is totally possible.
He will be super nice, caring and close to you, will give you all the non-verbal signs that he is interested in you and will drop certain statement here and there - all these are to program your mind. Notice that sequence of statements, it have slowly change from "I am not suitable for you" to "looking for companion and marriage", well you are at the edge of the trap now.
Time to wake up !!!. Ask yourself if a man really love you, why is he not openly to it, why playing all these games.
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he buy insurance lah. so if later u fall for him and become companion but no further benefits, it's your problem. ignore such fuckers.
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Mmmm..... i tink he's trying to get some free fuck out of you.....
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love is not an "On" and "Off" button or YES or NO thing. It take time to build up.
So just respond accordingly, go out for a date and eventually see how things goes. If the feeling is right then go for it. If the feeling is wrong then nevermind.
On one part the guy is running by emotion as guy is attracted to girls and on the other part the logical part of the brain run in parallel to tell him to think logically. Hence you will be expecting confusing statements time to time
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it seems like he is toying with you.... be wary
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Originally posted by Ä«Õß:¸ïÀë:
Mmmm..... i tink he's trying to get some free fuck out of you.....
hahaha... totally agreed!!!!!!!!!!! -
Originally posted by tripsky:
it seems like he is toying with you.... be wary
i agree
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ok if u wan to start a relationship with that guy
1st month - maybe happily spend time together
1st month 1st day - after movie
guy" hei i wan to fuck you let go hotel"
as the fuck go on.....
2nd month
you - "where are you ?? can you meet me ???"
guy "sorry im not free im trying to con others gals"
2nd month 1st day
guy " hei i wan to meet u"
you " ok where you wan to meet ?? should we go moive ??"
guy " No. i book a hotel and meet you there, after that you go home yrself"
3rd month / 4th month / 5th month
guy " hei i wan to meet u"
you " ok where you wan to meet ?? should we go moive ??"
guy " No. i book a hotel and meet you there, after that you go home yrself"
u understand ????
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Lol wah TS
I think you better take the advice from the guys here. Lol guys know their own kind de best.
Better to err on the side of caution.
PS: wah the guys here know these kinda tricks very well HOR?
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He is player i can confirm plus chop , he is simply flirting with you and play mind games. After he get you in bed with him.. next you will receive a sms telling you. sorry you are not his tea.
If he is nice guy, he won't play with your mind, giving you an uncertainty.
Guy are very straight forward. He want mean he want, He don't want mean don't want. But he pull and let go sms telling you, he is fishing for sex. Not Love.
Don't get Con!
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Originally posted by Ä«Õß:¸ïÀë:
Mmmm..... i tink he's trying to get some free fuck out of you.....
Sure smells like it..........! -
Dont get serious with this type of guy
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Nil
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The Game...
Damn.. we can be such s.o.b's at times.
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Judge for yourself then. If you are falling into the mind games, theres nothing we can do. Understand and know him better before passing judgement.
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Nil
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he's trying to make u like him, me thinks. Well, he could be a genuine guy. Just give him a chance and go out with him, know him better before you proceed on a physical basis. simple.
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Originally posted by farnee:
he keep re-assuring that he isn't playing games, but find that i am playing games.
which i am not, so our colleague who tend to feel as 3rd party said that he likes me and it very obvious. Just that 3rd party feels that we are both scare because of our past relationship. I tend to agree to the statement coz i am really scare i might make mistake again.i am now tore apart not knowing if i should believe he is playing mind games or to believe what he projected he isn't playing games just want to find companion for weekend not sexual involve de~
or is he looking and trying to understand each other before he decide a relationship..
i really don't know.. sob..sob..its suppose to be sweet but why am i so vex.. :(
I will say give yourself more time to understand him if you really want a serious relationship. Understand more about his character first and find out his views on relationship and understand what type of guy he is. And does all of that suit you.
Chill.
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guys like him can't make up his mind. its either he is flirting/looking for sex or he is just treating you as a spare tyre(keeping you the small fish on the line while looking for MORE suitable girl)
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In my humble opinion,
You need not be confused.
He is just seeking a friend.
Female friend.
No more than that.
So it's up to you.
Just be friends with him if you are comfortable.
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Its is you that is interested in catching him.
He sensed that.
Why not be uninterested in him, and go on as normal colleague.
You are his companion, at work only. For the time being.
Don't be hopeful. Don't even think about it..
You have freedom, make use of it to try out other guys.
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Originally posted by farnee:
Hi people, i need some mature advice from forum's guys and gals. As i am feeling very vex and confuse right now and don't really know how to handle it.
There is this guy in my office, who has just join us a month ago. And we actually hit it off quite well, He will actually made attempt to tell me his lifestyle, past relationship and when we went out he would take care of me "buy food / drinks etc.. for me.
recently over the sms during the chat unwittly, he asked if i like him ? But the 2nd sentences was " Better not, i will avoid you if you do" i asked why did he ask that ? he said it was human instincts.
when i press further how he felt for me " his responds was " you are comfortable to be with, but to get together and be together is different. And we are not suitable."
So i told him, i have interest initially but then lied to him that after knowing him i dnt coz of his lifestyle doesn't fit into mine.
(i said that because he say if i confess he will avoid me) humh...now after few weeks, things get into confusing stage.
We have been exchanging sms these few weeks during the nite, he also will unwittly tell me where he is or reaches home late. i am puzzle by his respond. He is interested in me or not ? Arrhh...
Last night he told me he is looking for companion and marriage to talk about that later..
(the statement was a general statement, and i am not sure if its meant for me ?)I doesn't want to go into a companion mode with him not knowing if it will lead me to no where ? Or should i go into companion mode with him, and develope relationship from there ? he keep telling me he is free during weekend, and with the workload and OT quite difficult for him to find GF and maint one relationship..
Arrhh.. i am confuse.. Help me pls..
Easy, change your focus completely to another guy friend and start to go for lunch with that new guy friend.Then have fun seeing how your "cool" guy crumbles...
If you suspects he isn't true to you, then you are probably right.
Guys who are true to you, will always remain true to you and not go to shoutbox and talk nonsense about you when they think you're not logged on. (example)
So many guys out there, so don't be afraid to strike them out if they failed to catch one ball.
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First off, find a new guy to hangout with, then see his reaction.
At the same time, act disinterested around him. See his reaction.
Very fun one i tell you.
