Am i turning bad?
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hellos :) its my first time posting here so pls go easy on me hahas
i now sec 4 in express. Im not trying to hao lian hor but i did really well on my studies :). As usual in sch there's of cos gonna be some love, fight, frens here and there. I have a bf and its nearly going to be 4 months. This is where my problem slowly starts...
Ever since im with my bf, my frens started to see my physical appearance started to change. I never pierce before only on my ear but now im with him, i started to pierce my tongue. ok its called culture to me, u all can say to me watever u want but to me its called culture. My bf appearance is quite an ah beng image becos he got a tattoo on his leg but he's a nice guy :). One day we were walking around in cineleisure my father saw me walking with him. When i got home he talked to me and at first he said is he your bf? then i shouldnt be with him and watever.
I dont get it why people judge book by its cover? he IS a nice guy. ok one day i pon sch becos there's no lesson so no point me go mah. so my bf know abt this and he ask me to pon and meet him and relax/sit around. So i did but that got me thinking with people passer by keep on looking at me wearing a sch uniform when i was suppose to be in sch since its sch hours, i was like stare at them back. i dont think im turning to a gangster it just irritates me when people look at me strangely. Its a reflex and i know u guys do it too
I dont know how but my teachers found out that i pon sch that day and was asked to call my parents. My parents quite flipped and i get hell of a scolding. But what they really flipped is when they saw a drawing (NOT A TATTOO) stick on my under forearm. it can be erase one but they really got mad over that. And they want to see my bf but i wont let them becos i know they want him to leave me alone which i dont want. And they call me a bad girl and my frens now seeing me as a gangster. I shout at my parents for scolding me but i had to, its natural right? we all do it. This is not wat i had in mind. i dont smoke but why they call me a gangster and see me as a bad person? just becos i did all those?
Am i really turning to a bad person?
btw, i got suspended from sch for 2 weeks now. So im really bored here at home and i browse around just happen to see this site :)
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To me your actions seems fine. I did much worse when I was your age.
I skipped sch, i do badly in exams, i quarrel with parents too. (but never tio suspended)
Now the whole word is against u so u need to do something ya.
Hw old is your bf? U are still a teenager so naturally any parent in the world will be concern when their kid has a relationship at such an age. They are worried u get pregnant stuffs like that.
Why no invite him over ur hse and really intro your bf to them. Get your bf to bring some "gifts" for ur parents like fruits or watever.... u know first time impression is impt.
ANyway your problem will go away when u are older. Just need time~
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All part of growing up...
U uncover more routes and choices in life as u grow up...
A bad girl isn't who u are... It is wat u do... and whether will u stray down tat path is hard to know...
But have u ever thought wat will happen after 1 year? 2 year? 5 years? 10 years? 20 years?
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Girls.... Since you sec 4, o levels very near, study hard then. Rest of the things, dont do so overboard. Still okay.
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jgho> my bf is 18. No i dont think i want to let my bf meet my parents =_=. Things will go bad, i just know it. what's wrong of getting pregnant?
acid> hahas sorry too advance for me ><. why i want to think 2 years ahead anyway? =_=
ttfu> hahas okies :) i want to pass this exam
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There r many things to do in your young life and the last thing u need is a baby to tie u down.
Your bf will go to jail if u are pregnant.
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Hi xiao mei mei, just like wat TTFU said, study hard for your 'O' Level first, and i mean study real hard. Next generations like you will suffer a lot in Singapore if you don have cert, bcos don have cert lead to low-pay jobs and low-pay jobs unable to sustain life in future Singapore.
And you bf si beh kao xiao, so young age got tattoo ah? It may be art for many youngster now, but a tattoo is still a tattoo. If your dad sees the ang gong, he'll go crazy.
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trust us..i have done worse things during your age, i pon school, fight, took drugs etc etc..failed O levels, etc etc, i even went prison at the age of 17 becos of fight. but i came to my sense eventually..
It is part and parcel of life.
You may think that it is too advance for you to think 2 yrs ahead but it is still affect your future life if you don think nw.
and for the pregnant part, you are still young, there will still be problems surfacing if you DO really get pregnant. I have friends who got pregnant at 14 and they are struggling with life nw..bf ran away, left her and her child to take care of..so many problems that you will not expect.
What you need to do nw is to focus on ur O levels, it is the stepping stone for you to do what you want in future.
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when u become a parent, u will know. 10 out of 10 romances at this age don't last. Bring back to see the parents? They will not like that tattoo at all. So what if he's not ah beng? What kind of image does that send to your parents?
And your parents brought you up, it's your duty to be a good girl to them. It will break their heart to see things like fake tattoos, suspension from school etc. You seem to have a growing sort of rebellious streak in you.
If you have a bf who encourages you to skip school and defy authority, something is morally wrong with him. There are better, cuter, cooler guys out there who have a good head between their ears to differentiate right and wrong.
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Actually it really boils down to
1)If you only do what you want to do, is that okie?
2) if yes, it is okay. Then what about the people you hurt, when you make decisions based on what you like to do only? if you don't care, then fine.
3) what if the decisions you make now hurt yourself in future? If you think you can accept all consequences, then that's fine too.
It is funny how you have doubts about your own actions, but provide all the necessary reasons why you do them.
What about trying to provide the necessary reasons for the other side of it? You know - just for fun - not necessarily need to follow.
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We only give advice final decision lies with u. I think concentrate on studies first not romance.
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U better concentrate on studies not on romance or BGR.
Wait get pregnant also not good.
U make the final decision urselves.
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I agree with Rock^Star.
You are kinda turning rebellious. At this age, teens want to be treated like adults but at the same time want to be treated like a kid.
Its normal to learn all these kinds of things at this stage but it will really help alot if you learnt from this and use more common sense.
Whatever you do sure got consequences. People shouldn't judge a book by its cover and thats what teens always think about and live by. What they should really do is learn to set an example or good impressions becoz in reality thats how the world works.
If your boyfriend was really a nice person regardless of what he has on his body, he would know what to do and would set a good impression towards your parents.
Fashion is fashion. Culture is another thing. Because culture is how people are brought up as. A person's attitude can change with culture.
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Like it or not. People do judge by the book. There is a very fine line between culture and rebellion. Piercing can be a form of culture, but that comes with responsibility, and also the industry you would are currently in.
Ask yourself, if you are a teacher, and your student has got many piercing all over or maybe like your case, just the tongue alone. Would you think the student is someone whom is very cultured or someone plainly out there seeking attention to rebel?
If you're in the entertainment/ arts industry, getting a piercing on the tongue or even patches of tattoo on all available space on your body, no one will give a damn because that's what you are expected to do anyway.
A tattoo is an irreversible process, your bf has that tattoo, at his age, did he think of the future? It also goes to show the maturity of his thinking. If he intends to get an office job in future, how is he going to cover up?
I can tell you now as an employer, given the scope of industry I am in, the people I hire would spot a tattoo or two due to culture and fashion. The tattoos doesn't affect my decision in whether they would be employed or not, but these people still took all the efforts and pains to cover up all these just to give the impression, why? My other industry players who are stricter do not hire ppl with improper piercings and tattoos too. Why? Think about it.
And getting pregnant involved more than "what's the big deal about it"
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Aob (dots your name how to pronounce le, the one called me xmm =_=)> my bf take private sch :). he said if things dont work out well on my O level, i can take private sch.
jgho and samuel> okies i will start thinking about my future.
btw about the pregnant thing, wat life are u guys talking about being struggle? its just a baby right? btw is there such thing as true negative when u took the pregnancy test?
rock> its like u discouraging me =_=. I love him and i know he love me, we got these feeling really strong and i know it. So just hope we will last long, pls dont curse me =_=. okies but parents suppose to understand right? we got so many things in life so we just curious. They dont understand that?
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very similar to my sis last time.
ur problem is, wad u r doing now are making ur parents worried. they find it hard to trust u on handling ur own life.
ya, maybe u can protect urself, maybe u know wad u r doing. but it's all kid's talk until u managed to convince them so.
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Originally posted by mei_ting <sweet icecream>:
jgho> my bf is 18. No i dont think i want to let my bf meet my parents =_=. Things will go bad, i just know it. what's wrong of getting pregnant?
acid> hahas sorry too advance for me ><. why i want to think 2 years ahead anyway? =_=
ttfu> hahas okies :) i want to pass this exam
lol xiao mei mei. pls be responsible. "whats wrong with getting pregnant?" u are 16, your bf is 18. have u thought of, if ever u were pregnant, will your bf be willing to take responsibilities by marrying u and taking care of u and your child?
4 months old relationship, still honeymoon period. of cos now he will say yes he will take responsibility. but i can guarantee he will run away when u are pregnant.
u are still schooling, what about your bf? schooling, waiting for army, working, or doing nothing?
seriously, being pregnant isnt a small issue. if your family supports your idea of getting pregnant in such a young age, u are an independent person, your bf is a responsible guy, your bf is working and has the financial ability to maintain a family, go ahead. nobody will stop u.
but from what i read, u both are still young and immature. do not ruin the lives of yourselves. 16 yrs old should concentrate on studying for now. being pregnant is more than just playing with babies. there's still lots of things to take note off, eg, food, clothes, milk powder, pampers, medical. u think it's cheap to start a family in singapore? think again.
alot of forummers here are already working, and we all know how difficult it is to survive in Singapore even when we are all earning our keeps. pls heed our advice here.
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If your boyfriend is teaching you the wrong thing, is he really a "NICE" guy as what you think he is.
Are you influenced by him indirectly, and you are not aware of?
It is the emotional part that is running you now or the rational part?
Actually, it is quite alright to be absent from school when there is no class. I do absent from school time to time, due to competition and other MORE important stuff. So it is alright to be absent from school. But you should not hang around in school uniform (because it is not comfortable.)
Piercing is actually not that hip. As you will eventually find it troublesome, with infection due to piercing, you will ended with a hole at your ear, which look ugly. Dont you find eating difficult?
About the tattoo thing, actually your parents are just being over sensitive. It does not really represent a person is bad or not. Nowadays, it is just popular to have one. But it is just that tattoo cannot withstand sunlight, due to bleaching from the sunlight, so it will be blurred after sometimes. It will eventually look ugly.
I know many couples, which the guy is a "cannnot study type 'N', 'O' level only " then the gals is a uni grad.
When your relationship get mature, then your boy friend will eventually get to see the parents. Ask your parents to wait for a while. Meanwhile, concentrate your O level and dont let your BF influences you too much. And I can tell you, most likely your BF is attracted to you for being intelligence and studious. This is because opposite personality and behavior tends to attract each other.
NO sex with your BF please for now.
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Originally posted by s0nic:
lol xiao mei mei. pls be responsible. "whats wrong with getting pregnant?" u are 16, your bf is 18. have u thought of, if ever u were pregnant, will your bf be willing to take responsibilities by marrying u and taking care of u and your child?
4 months old relationship, still honeymoon period. of cos now he will say yes he will take responsibility. but i can guarantee he will run away when u are pregnant.
u are still schooling, what about your bf? schooling, waiting for army, working, or doing nothing?
seriously, being pregnant isnt a small issue. if your family supports your idea of getting pregnant in such a young age, u are an independent person, your bf is a responsible guy, your bf is working and has the financial ability to maintain a family, go ahead. nobody will stop u.
but from what i read, u both are still young and immature. do not ruin the lives of yourselves. 16 yrs old should concentrate on studying for now. being pregnant is more than just playing with babies. there's still lots of things to take note off, eg, food, clothes, milk powder, pampers, medical. u think it's cheap to start a family in singapore? think again.
alot of forummers here are already working, and we all know how difficult it is to survive in Singapore even when we are all earning our keeps. pls heed our advice here.
Yes studies first.
Baby need great responsibilities. Having a baby in Singapore is tough. My neighbour need to take her child to dancing classes, brain development classes,playgroup etc etc.
Children need tonnes of money.
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Originally posted by ~PEPPER~:
Yes studies first.
Baby need great responsibilities. Having a baby in Singapore is tough. My neighbour need to take her child to dancing classes, brain development classes,playgroup etc etc.
Children need tonnes of money.
Nowadays kids very sad. If childhood dont bring them go such enrichment class, I think very hard for them to stand out in future. hais.
If the child a bit stupid, still need spend more money on tuition.
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Originally posted by TYING:
Nowadays kids very sad. If childhood dont bring them go such enrichment class, I think very hard for them to stand out in future. hais.
If the child a bit stupid, still need spend more money on tuition.
I agree no childhood happy memories.yah abit stupid very mafan many tuition and enrichment classes.
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kids of the past and kids of the now really different.. last time more child hood memories.. in future our kids will recall, "last time daddy mummy always ask me go piano lesson, go dance lesson.." lol
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You have to solve the conflicts between your boyfriend and your parents because you have to obey both.Pregnant isn't a bad thing at all because it is a woman's duty to get pregnant.Don't listen to some feminists here telling you to focus on your studies.
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Originally posted by Bloodofjesus:
You have to solve the conflicts between your boyfriend and your parents because you have to obey both.Pregnant isn't a bad thing at all because it is a woman's duty to get pregnant.Don't listen to some feminists here telling you to focus on your studies.
Through your basis, its the duty of the man to support the household. Can he?
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Originally posted by mei_ting <sweet icecream>:
Aob (dots your name how to pronounce le, the one called me xmm =_=)> my bf take private sch :). he said if things dont work out well on my O level, i can take private sch.
I did badly in my O level, fellow classmates said retake O level in school. i pai say and go study private O, results turn out to be more worse!! Why? Bcos private school lecturer don care whether you come for class or not, as long as you pay course fee promptly can liao. So i bet you'll definately pon-ten class, based on now you can even pon-ten school.....
Xiao mei mei, since you are out here seeking advise, and i personally tink a lots of advise is given, the final decision is still in you. We ppl out here juz don wish to see another soul went astray, life been ruined.
Please tink carefully, and take care!