My BF best Friend a She
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BB: My favour part of your comments, All i ask for is in the future part of our life, they will learn to let go. and i believe they will once his bestie got attach and settle down.
TS,
You can ask all the female forumners a show of hands to see if their husband had changed since married.
I probably can tell you that the most change is their "Belly" So before you make unnecessary assumption.....I suggest you dig deeper why are you in this relationship.
Not to give any more excuse about him or her.
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Originally posted by Bababe 83:
I'm trying to accept his Best Friend She. but then sometime is really hard to battle it gracefully just wondering how many woman out there can accept his BF or Husband have a SHE best friend
- They know each other since secondary school
- Meet each other every week without fail for dinner, he will go pick her up for dinner and send her home.
- he's protective over his BF she
- he say she have been there alway at his lowest point.
- and everyweek have to check my schedule and see how he's going to fix she for dinner.
- and of cos im sure that they are purely BF
Peng ..... Faintzzz
I have best friend too who's there for me all the time but we dont meet everyweek.
I don't mind opposite sex as best friend but the above senario a little hard to accept
What your view can you woman accept it gracefully
your boyfriend's behavior is beyond friendship. anyone is able to tell just from the way you describe their level and frequency of interaction.
there is 99.99% chance that your boyfriend likes her
consider the points below
1. maybe she is not interested in him otherwise they would be together
2. they might have been a couple before
2. your boyfriend dare not or has not confess to her before
3. since she is single and there are no guys she is interested in at the moment, so she is using your boyfriend for entertainment purposes. if he can treat her so well, why not just make use of him? anyway, its your boyfriend throwing himself at her.
4. in your boyfriend's heart, she is still number one. since he cannot get her, he doesn't mind being her 'friend' at least he still get to interact with her. in his heart, you are number two, not number one.
what your boyfriend is doing is inappropriate, no girl in their right mind would be able to accept. its very natural and right for you to feel weird because he is doing something wrong so openly but just using the excuse/disguise of friendship
due to your love for your boyfriend, its very hard for you to accept the reality that he is actually openly cheating on you behind the disguise of friendship. you are even going to the extent of helping him find reasons to make it acceptable to do so.
you deserve someone better. someone who treats you as no. 1 in his heart, not no. 2.
are you shortchanging yourself? stop lying to yourself and living in denial.
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Originally posted by Arapahoe:
Well can't judge a person by a cigarette stick. And this is not about the best friend. This is about TS and the boy friend.
I am not judging She, just making sense of the TS predicament.
My 2cents worth put in a nut shell what SgLoveCop posted above.
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BREAK-OFF lo.
THEY SEEMS to be a BETTER COUPLE then u to him.
and no one in a right mind will allow his gf / her bf to behave like that.
If my gf have a good friend who is a guy and they went dinner every week. that will really piss me off. Your bf is how old? u how old? u see that Best friend of his before? he got introduced?
3-some is not an option...
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Well....I am sure TS will take sometime to figure things out and decide what is Good for her.
Sometime it is a maturing process.
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BB, I hope I can provide some light from a perspective of the 'SHE' (though I'm very sure I'm not the SHE).
I'm a girl (duh) and has been best friends with this guy for 8 years since secondary. Let's call this guy, Z.
Z and I are very close. When we hang out, he sometimes would put his arm around me and sometimes I would rest my head on his shoulder. He calls me 'Dear' occasionally too. And he has a girlfriend of 2++ or 3 years.
But, I don't think his gf was ever jealous because
1. When Z and I hang out, it was always a group.
2. I only hang out with T about twice a month.
3. She always couldn't make it along with Z and me.
Back to your story, I know our story has very different background. But I still wish that you give him some trust. I believe in pure platonic friendship. It exist. But at the same time, as what other people said, you should try to get to know SHE. It would help.Let's say he doesn't want you two to meet, it would mean "There's something wrong!"
I mean, even if he says cares about you, scared you fight, scared you jealous, and yet don't bring you meet her, then whatever he said are excuses.I sound naggy, but moral of the story:
Behave well, don't bicker with him about SHE. Wait a few months, then ask to meet SHE. If he brings you, all's well. Treat SHE nicely, be friends. If he doesn't, you have to ask him for the real reason (read: bicker and maybe breakup). -
You are alrdy in your mid 20s. Some lines must be drawn. What happens if your kid asks you, "Mama, why are you resting your head on another man's shoulders?"
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u r considered lucky that the "she" is not "shim"
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Originally posted by babypinkstar:
BB, I hope I can provide some light from a perspective of the 'SHE' (though I'm very sure I'm not the SHE).
I'm a girl (duh) and has been best friends with this guy for 8 years since secondary. Let's call this guy, Z.
Z and I are very close. When we hang out, he sometimes would put his arm around me and sometimes I would rest my head on his shoulder. He calls me 'Dear' occasionally too. And he has a girlfriend of 2++ or 3 years.
But, I don't think his gf was ever jealous because
1. When Z and I hang out, it was always a group.
2. I only hang out with T about twice a month.
3. She always couldn't make it along with Z and me.
Back to your story, I know our story has very different background. But I still wish that you give him some trust. I believe in pure platonic friendship. It exist. But at the same time, as what other people said, you should try to get to know SHE. It would help.Let's say he doesn't want you two to meet, it would mean "There's something wrong!"
I mean, even if he says cares about you, scared you fight, scared you jealous, and yet don't bring you meet her, then whatever he said are excuses.I sound naggy, but moral of the story:
Behave well, don't bicker with him about SHE. Wait a few months, then ask to meet SHE. If he brings you, all's well. Treat SHE nicely, be friends. If he doesn't, you have to ask him for the real reason (read: bicker and maybe breakup).Wow. Your friend's gf must be a very very generous person. But for him to put his arms around you and you to rest your head on his shoulder, don't you think that is quite out of a normal friendship behaviour between a female and a male?
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Originally posted by Phantomnite:
Wow. Your friend's gf must be a very very generous person. But for him to put his arms around you and you to rest your head on his shoulder, don't you think that is quite out of a normal friendship behaviour between a female and a male?
We will need to ask her good friend, Z to come out and tell us his true thoughts on their friendship...
babypinkstar maybe never realize after all these years how he really thinks about their friendship...
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Originally posted by babypinkstar:
BB, I hope I can provide some light from a perspective of the 'SHE' (though I'm very sure I'm not the SHE).
I'm a girl (duh) and has been best friends with this guy for 8 years since secondary. Let's call this guy, Z.
Z and I are very close. When we hang out, he sometimes would put his arm around me and sometimes I would rest my head on his shoulder. He calls me 'Dear' occasionally too. And he has a girlfriend of 2++ or 3 years.
But, I don't think his gf was ever jealous because
1. When Z and I hang out, it was always a group.
2. I only hang out with T about twice a month.
3. She always couldn't make it along with Z and me.
Back to your story, I know our story has very different background. But I still wish that you give him some trust. I believe in pure platonic friendship. It exist. But at the same time, as what other people said, you should try to get to know SHE. It would help.Let's say he doesn't want you two to meet, it would mean "There's something wrong!"
I mean, even if he says cares about you, scared you fight, scared you jealous, and yet don't bring you meet her, then whatever he said are excuses.I sound naggy, but moral of the story:
Behave well, don't bicker with him about SHE. Wait a few months, then ask to meet SHE. If he brings you, all's well. Treat SHE nicely, be friends. If he doesn't, you have to ask him for the real reason (read: bicker and maybe breakup).Hi Baby Pink
thanks for ur reply a very different perpective point of view. u and ur good friend meet only twice a month and in group. if my BF does that i have no prob accepting it at all.
let put it in this way, try meeting meeting ur best friend every week, he pick u up for dinner and send u home and meeting dinner alone. i really think his gf will surely mind. and of cos im really sure that there's nothing btw my bf and his bestie SHE but as a woman our heart space is limited.
I alway show face to my BF friend I hardly show that im unhappy. even if i have to meet his bestie SHE i will still put on my best behaviour. Back to the point, so if i meet her and get to know thing are fine
Can still accept my BF have a close relationship with her? or can they still continue their often meeting and how long will it last?
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Originally posted by SgLoveCop@blogspot:
your boyfriend's behavior is beyond friendship. anyone is able to tell just from the way you describe their level and frequency of interaction.
there is 99.99% chance that your boyfriend likes her
consider the points below
1. maybe she is not interested in him otherwise they would be together
2. they might have been a couple before
2. your boyfriend dare not or has not confess to her before
3. since she is single and there are no guys she is interested in at the moment, so she is using your boyfriend for entertainment purposes. if he can treat her so well, why not just make use of him? anyway, its your boyfriend throwing himself at her.
4. in your boyfriend's heart, she is still number one. since he cannot get her, he doesn't mind being her 'friend' at least he still get to interact with her. in his heart, you are number two, not number one.
what your boyfriend is doing is inappropriate, no girl in their right mind would be able to accept. its very natural and right for you to feel weird because he is doing something wrong so openly but just using the excuse/disguise of friendship
due to your love for your boyfriend, its very hard for you to accept the reality that he is actually openly cheating on you behind the disguise of friendship. you are even going to the extent of helping him find reasons to make it acceptable to do so.
you deserve someone better. someone who treats you as no. 1 in his heart, not no. 2.
are you shortchanging yourself? stop lying to yourself and living in denial.
Hi There
He and She is purely good friend.
* they have never been together
* dont think my BF in love with SHE, but he adore her for sure.
* maybe there's ever a chem btw him to her never know but that's already the past
* my BF is a friend kinda person.... he treasure friend and GF and Friends are almost equally improtant for him.
anyway he's trying to be sensitive toward this issue and aware of my uncomfortable zone. he hardly mention abt SHE infront of her. and of cos delete all the msg with SHE. cos their msg is alway my dear, my darling and some little name they have named way way back. with the effort I'm contented. as long as he know how to draw a line I will be good
back to SHE sometime bestie SHE will comment to him like
* HE only look for SHE when he's free (meaning that he only ask her out now when he's not with her gf) * she will say - pple change once they have gf
once SHE make this kinda emtional comments my BF will feel damn guilty.
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If really nothing between them, why must he delete smses, with the word 'deer' & 'darling' in them some more??!!
TS, think you've got to stop dragging your feet. You know it's not right, you keep asking us for answers but deep inside you KNOW there's something wrong here.
Any respectful girl WILL NOT flirt with a guy once they know he's attached. & what is his 'best fren' doing?
She sure doesn't sound thrilled your BF has you & acts kinda immature. Why do I say that? Well, she still insists on being no. 1 in his life, as you mentioned. Shouldn't it be YOU?! Why must your BF give her special treatment?? He should be putting YOU no1!
Yes, your BF treasures his friends, but how about his SO? He is not handling this well i think. He needs to have boundaries. You can't go around pleasing everyone. What should the difference be treatment between his friends and SO? If he treats his 'best friend' better than you then maybe he should be with her instead.