dear simple gal,
u like him cuz:
1)he has a car
2)he has a great degree
3)he has a great payin job
4)he has a car
5)he has a mansion stashed somewhere in spore n elsewhere
6)he has a car
think u should forget him n get on with getting eligible bachelors.
You do know that he treats you as a rebound gf. So you are just a substitute because he lost that gf of yours. I have seen rebound bf's before, so I am not the least surprised.
When he ditched that last gf, its obvious he doesn't know what he wants. So if you ever get to together with him, it'll just take another girl to get him down the spiral, and then you'll be dumped. So this part, the decision you have to make yourself if you want to risk it or not. But for the people who know him, and you, you'll be labelled the rebound gf no matter what you think
As for the girl, it will be difficult for you to shake off that stigma she has of you. And getting into a relationship with the guy will make it worse. Sorry to say, but sometimes the harshest way is best way out. You have to avoid her at all costs because all you girls share one thing in common, bearing grudges.
Yeah, you can make it sound good, maybe find her out for a good talk and all that. But it won't work for girls. Because girls only know how to forgive, but never forget. You can only do the next best thing, ignore her.
Originally posted by Simple~Gal:Hi again guys ^^
Last few weeks, i started to develop a feeling on this guy but he has a girlfriend. I know this is so wrong but hey, if that person is in your eyes, u still like him whether he's having a relationship or not true? anyway, yes i started to like REALLY like this guy but his girlfriend is one of my friends too.
ok here where the problem started, Previously these few days we started to get the talking and one thing let to another we joke around then into deep stuff and such. Well, we were all drunk that night so ya its normal right? btw his girlfriend who is my friend too suspect this and she giving me the glare and the "whatever" look. ok i really dont want her to hate me so i try to avoid her boyfriend as long as i can till we can be water under the bridge type.
As times goes by, i think i finally stop having this deep feelings on him and i feel great. And i thought all is ok but then i heard the news that he and his girlfriend have broke up. OMG! I really dont know what to do because i got this strong feeling that this has me written all over it which is true later on when he started sms me and stuff then he wants me and him together as a relationship. I seriously trapped and didnt know what to answer so i ignore his sms. Then he called so i have to pick up and we talk and he said that he loves me. omg, he knows i like him too but now the feeling is gone. But now the feelings of liking him beginning to rush back to me since he said that. I said give me a few days to think about it then i answer him.
And the really bad news now is my friend who is his ex, now she hates me. And i think its because of me and him having feelings to each other but how she know? i mean like is that the reason of the whole break up thing?
omg u guys have to give me advices. I indeed need help here. I dont want to lose my friend i dont want her to hate me but now i started to have feelings for him who is my friends ex. Please what should i do?
You are at best, asking the wrong people here. Chances are, in the past some forumers here may be on the other side of the fence, being the girl who lost their bf to their best friends. So beware some opinions may be BIAS.
So your friend hates you? Weigh in your relationship with this guy, do you think you can have a bright future with him? Now that he is available? Do you truly believe he sincerely likes you? Do you think he can take care of you?
Seriously if you have been through school, college, uni and then working life like me, you will know that many bf-gf relationships don't last long, people do break up after school or college and then find their long term mate at work. About only 10% of my friends from college and uni last to marriage. From school relationships, its even worse, only 2% lasts till marriage.
Ok, so base on the stats, you are not exactly a home wrecker, you did not ruin any marriage or any kid's future. So what have you got to lose? He is available, he is not two timing his gf. Go for it lar ! Just Do It !
As for your friend's anger, this things are normal, she will probably hate you or perhaps in later years, she will find a husband and her anger towards you will tone down. Then that is the chance for you to reconcile with her. Sometimes, in life is about risk, are you willing to take the risk?
You ask yourself if its just a crush or love. Getting together with your gf ex is bad enough, and you can forget about being friends with her anymore too. But what is more worrying is that, you can "forget your feelings for him for a period" and when he calls again the "feeling" come back again.
I take it that its just a crush. Avoid him, and you will feel totally disconnected from him. You keep your friendship, you cast aside a bad r/s too. Win-win!
gal - the friendship is gone the moment you become the 3rd person. There is no way to mend it.
sudeenly having lettuce with white wine vinegar seems to be good for my health n strangely delicious.
prerty soon i would find oats n sphegetti delicious as well.
think my taste buds are changing
so u all suggesting that i should just ignore that guy?
i can forget too u know. I bet she can forget this whole situation too right? not have to be now but in the future. IF OF COURSE i accept his proposal. I dont see myself as holding those grudges type, i dont do that. Its really mean. So if i can, she can too. Avoiding her is hard, because i really want her a a friend. I dont want anyone to hate me so i must make it up for her.
so if i take the risk of taking him, i lose her. But if i ignore him, i have her? is that what u guys trying to say? im really really sorry but the risk tips doesnt give me any encouragement T-T
and the alchohol does make us imagine random things, we all cant help it. this is the fact u know
you've lost her as a friend...
because you imposed yourself in between them..
we're not here to encourage you to do the stupid things because you seem more than capable of doing extraordinarily stupid things...
we're here to tell you as it is, tell you what you can do to make things better..
unfortunately, i don't think it's going to get any better...
experience teaches a fool..
learn from this experience..
this is in addition to what you have written about alcohol..
if you cannot handle the alcohol, DON'T DRINK IT!!
again, you're making stupid decisions and then rationalising in order to not have to face the facts that you screwed up..
take responsibility for your actions.. because here, some personal responsibility is in order...
you and no one else, made your decisions
live with it..
mull on it..
ponder it...
LEARN FROM IT..
Originally posted by Simple~Gal:so u all suggesting that i should just ignore that guy?
i can forget too u know. I bet she can forget this whole situation too right? not have to be now but in the future. IF OF COURSE i accept his proposal. I dont see myself as holding those grudges type, i dont do that. Its really mean. So if i can, she can too. Avoiding her is hard, because i really want her a a friend. I dont want anyone to hate me so i must make it up for her.
so if i take the risk of taking him, i lose her. But if i ignore him, i have her? is that what u guys trying to say? im really really sorry but the risk tips doesnt give me any encouragement T-T
and the alchohol does make us imagine random things, we all cant help it. this is the fact u know
He is fair game, go for it. I never tell you toignore him. You like him, he likes you, what else do you all need?
Yes your friend will hate you, that is the Price you have to pay. Question is: Is he really worth it? If Yes, then go for it. If No, means you don't really like him that much.