Letting go of anger...
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On an additional note, do you all think that the management then should have done something? I personally didn't think so as yeah, it was just a personal issue.
But some of my friends felt that I had really fked up management as nothing was done.
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if u recollect wat he said over and over again, you are torturing yourself and hurting yourself over and over again. why do u want to torture urself like that?
last time i used to think over the whole day and night so unhappy about it, I realised I am foolish as I am punishing myself. I couldnt enjoy my meals, couldnt enjoy my tv shows etc for the whole day.
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Yeah true. I'll eventually let it go I guess.
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when someone insulted you really badly, just return 2 words back to him. same same. if he say fuck u, same same. if he said u r a dickhead, same same. if he said u have no family upbringing, same same to you.
its true what. if he has family upbringing and manners, he wouldnt have said this to you.so what u said same same is the truth.
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easy...try to converse with him then suddenly insult him back, and if cant win him with ur wits, then u need to learn how to tolerate people.
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Originally posted by Aldinosaur:
Hi friends,
A few months ago something happened to me which has greatly affected me and I feel I have trouble letting go of it. Just want to know your opinions and advice.
To put it simple, this colleague at work at that time insulted my father, who passed away a few years ago due to an incurable illness. He said something like, "your father die never mind". (Note also, I didn't really provoke him, all my other colleagues can vouch for that). Naturally, I got extremely angry, but I did not do anything as I knew I was in uniform. If I were to lash out I knew I would probably get in trouble myself.
It has already been a few months and well, sad to say, it still affects me. Everytime I think of him or the situation I just get angry.
A little about me: I can say for sure I am quite an angry person and sometimes angsty even, BUT I am not violent and know how and when to think straight. Heck, I have never gotten into a fight before!
Anyway yes, this thing still affects me. I've tried to rationalize myself, talk to others, occupy my time, everything! But I still feel lots of anger when the whole thing subconciously flits into my mind. People tell me like I gotta let go; that dumb kid ain't worth your time; fighting no point one etc etc.
Honestly, sometimes I feel a tinge of regret not punching that fella. I feel that unless I see him PHYSICALLY suffer infront of me, I will never be happy.
This is probably the first most heartfelt sharing I have done regarding this incident.
Thanks.
Look, it seems that it is alright to insult other people's father at your company. Since he can get away scot free, why don't you in turn insult his mother. Tell him, his mother is so ugly, she is going to die. Then after that you feel a lot better.
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Haha well, I guess next time if something like this happens, I am gonna react accordingly (not with violence of course).
But oh well, end of the day, world is filled with a bunch of dumbasses like that. You guys are right that I need to chill some and just let it go.
Karma will get the bastards anyway :)
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Originally posted by Aldinosaur:
Well to be more specific on the situation, we were all just messing around and teasing each other in good fun. Then he got mad out of nowhere and starting insulting my parents. All of us were like wtf's wrong with you, then he started insulting my dad, so I said, "You know my dad passed away?" And he just said, "your dad die nvm lor"
Another colleague went to talk to him and tried to make him apologize twice, but he refused.
Seriously, he's just a dumb kid.
Hmm....don't allow him to get to you, that will only show how important his opinions meant to you.Will you find peace even if you kill him eventually? Like you said he's just a dumb kid, would you find peace in murdering a dumb kid?
Why didn't you voice out your angry thoughts about him when the situation happened?
You have lost that opportunity of window to defend for yourself, so make sure you do let him know what you think of him when the next opportunity arises.
Apology are not necessary unless you are a girl. Why not make a mental note to make his life miserable at work?
But it's up to different individual, I would choose to ignore people who aren't important to me and don't waste time associating with people who aren't good enough to be my friend.
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Thanks parn,
Yup I choose to ignore him, and from now on, the matter too. Some people aren't just worth the time.
It's a sad fact that people like that are around. But what to do right?
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Originally posted by Aldinosaur:
Thanks parn,
Yup I choose to ignore him, and from now on, the matter too. Some people aren't just worth the time.
It's a sad fact that people like that are around. But what to do right?
Well, I didn't ask you to ignore him from now onwards. I meant for you to ignore him for whatever that has happened.Do not ignore him from now onwards, unleash hell on him if he allowed his tongue to run loose again.
But be prepared to see it to the end as the victor, because there's no reason for you to accomodate yourself for anybody.
If you choose not to act or do something about it when it happen next time, then you are just going to allow everyone to trample and walk all over you.
How do you plan to protect your love ones in the future if you are not even able to protect yourself?
Even till the end of your life, you must be able to tell yourself that you have lived your life in your own way.
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Yeah true. If it happens again, from whoever, sure get it from me damn bad.
I guess end of the day, it's up to me to choose my happiness.
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Originally posted by Aldinosaur:
Yeah true. If it happens again, from whoever, sure get it from me damn bad.
I guess end of the day, it's up to me to choose my happiness.
Make sure you react in the same measure of his reaction. If he gets away with what he said to you, this means that you can do the same.Whatever it is, don't punch or physically hurt him because that will send you out the door. I have heard of a dumbass front desk hotel worker got drunk during a company party and punched his boss in the face for insulting him. Next day, he is a goner.
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Haha yeah that's an example of a temper gone wrong. Sometimes I wonder, whether it's worth it.
Anyway thanks to all for your replies. They really helped :)
Karma will get the bastards anyway
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channel all your energy to love your family greater than ever....as your dad would want you to do that even more than to take vengeance on someone who will meet his own miserable fate.....turn anger to useful creative energy for your better future...
hope this poem would comfort you a little...by Thomas Dylan:-
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rage at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light. -
Thanks :)