Feeling Lost in feeling
-
Originally posted by Hwaimeng:
end of the day he just wan you to offer you body to him
and when he leave you he just tell other that "she is the 1 that offer herself to me, i never say i like her. so if can eat Y not eat? correct ?
you will be making yrself cheat if you do that
relationship never pass the test if some1 like to play this game
best is never ever suspect this suspect that.
all i can say is the guy is a "fucker"
I agree.
The guy is leading you on by using reverse psychology. He is making you hungry for him.
Remember he said not to fall for him, it means if you do it is your fault. He is safe from blame. Thats his game. He wants to "get" you and then dump you.
-
Originally posted by Arapahoe:
TS,
How well do you know this guy? Is he married? got kids? sperated.....?
He tell you not interested in you....on the other hand stir up your emotion by asking your personal preferences.....just want to sleep with you....!!!
Stay out...tell him you are not interested in him....Good job.
he is single not married. humh.. i just know remember ? we are in the same company :)
Sleep with me.. humh.. something i have been thinking so, but till now he doesn't dare to act on me. Even after drinking half drunk stage he don't dare yet, for he always joke i will kick him.
-
this is the same tactic sluts used on men for millions of years....so the backfire is expected....
-
Originally posted by Fenixx:
His actions show his heart. His hesitation/denial/telling you not to fall for him come from his head lah........
If what you say is what he is thinking.. telling you the truth, i will be very happy to wait for his heart and mind to be ready.* He mentioned to me before his ex-gf betrayed him, and told me after a few drinks (he is not drunk) that if he were to fall in love he can be very very emotional and find it hard to pick up when it fail.
But i really doubt so.. coz two night ago, i just ask him indirectly "i think you still prefer that we dnt fall for each other yah ?"
he replied me , Yes...
-
Originally posted by Fire Cracker:
well he's drunk and he said he like your accompany only correct?
maybe he don't know what's he talking about.
Do u love him? if you love him then go after him. why just let the relation end like that?
10 years ago there's this lady which i counted so hard for so many years, yes she know I like her but she doesn't accept. until now when I found another lover and she told me what if we are together 10 years ago... blah blah. she's still single. not as pretty anymore.. no bf and finding someone....
don't let your chance went off. give it a try, unless you got no feeling for him.
nope, he didn't say he like my company in drunk state he was sober after work during our dinner.
I am quite open with my feeling for him le.. he asked me few months ago, and i have told him i have feeling for him. (but i cover up with jokingly that after knowing him i am or he ain't to me coz he is a freq clubber while i am an occasional.Your case is diff, coz you counted her. She doesn't accept.
Mine case is he flirt with me, but doesn't want to commit. In our chat freq. he will hint that he want a companion with benefits.. you understand what i am saying..i doesn't want to be use therefore the reason why i am standing where i am and not moving to his advance and bed him. I don't want to lower my ... this way for a guy who ain't serious. Even there was an occasion he mentioned recently, "relationship with me, humh.. not say i dnt want to settle down. Ppl also need to start from companion then will know if both person is suitable to be further together not" .. Wtf.. This is the first time i heard this thinking idea.. fainted...
-
I tell you lah very simple, dont kenna trick by those stupid mind games lah. Before together already like that, after that then how ? Cry everyday ? your choice
-
There could be many reasons as to why he is behaving this way and I don't think anyone is able to give you an answer based on the situation you have described here
The fact, however, is you are also indirectly encouraging the gentleman to continue with his errant behaviour by not distancing yourself away from him, especially since you know he has a not-so-nice motive, while continuing to express your interest in him through your daily actions.
My recommendation would be to dramatically tone down the frequency of your outings, going out for meals and occassional chats for a while and observe his reaction.
That, could probably help you make your decision.
Cheers.
-
Originally posted by binZ:
There could be many reasons as to why he is behaving this way and I don't think anyone is able to give you an answer based on the situation you have described here
The fact, however, is you are also indirectly encouraging the gentleman to continue with his errant behaviour by not distancing yourself away from him, especially since you know he has a not-so-nice motive, while continuing to express your interest in him through your daily actions.
My recommendation would be to dramatically tone down the frequency of your outings, going out for meals and occassional chats for a while and observe his reaction.
That, could probably help you make your decision.
Cheers.
Hi Binz, its partial quite true in your statements that i have myself to blame for encouraging him. But its kinda diff position to distancing myself during office hours, first of all we are lunch kaki with group. 2nd i doesn't want the lunch group to notice anything coz it will be kinda embrass for me. As for outing and chats i can do that and see his reaction. But then again, to my analysation he problably wouldn't feel much different as he always have his guy friends as company. Its only during when his guys aren't around i think he will feel the differences.
After all these months, i came to notice that he is afraid of loneliness and his circles of friends aren't big too.. Just that couple of them, but they hang out almost altn. days..
Thus, your kind suggestion does help here and then. But not all..yeah.. i did blast him off last night.. And after that he didn't kinda reply me, maybe in my thought he doesn't know what to reply. But late into the night, he only sent a message saying that "You're emo because of ur study / work" ...
that's all.. sigh...
I thought of leaving the issue as it was and walk away nicely with grace but leaving space as friend.
-
Just let it go already. If you keep thinking about this, its like it really important how he feels toward you and all. Having him as a friend surely brings you much trouble in the future. Really distance yourself from him and just treat him as a hi bye acquaintance.
You will be better off without this sort of person in your life. Trust me. I had this sort of friends before. They just don't know what they are doing. They do stuff without thinking of the consequences and just do only. Then other people like you suffer.
-
Just let it go already. If you keep thinking about this, its like it really important how he feels toward you and all. Having him as a friend surely brings you much trouble in the future. Really distance yourself from him and just treat him as a hi bye acquaintance.
You will be better off without this sort of person in your life. Trust me. I had this sort of friends before. They just don't know what they are doing. They do stuff without thinking of the consequences and just do only. Then other people like you suffer.
-
Hi Ts,
I got a different train of thought from the guys here.
I believe this guy was very hurt from his ex. He likes you but he wants to start it slow. i was like him once thats why I can understand his reaction.
Nobody likes to get hurt but it takes time for wounds to heal.
Next question is do you like him?
1) If you do and hope that you want to be with him. Just tell him nicely that you understand his pain from his previous relationship and lets start slowly from a nice friendship. . Ask him to stop giving you hints and go slow.
2) If you do not like him at all just tell him that you just simply want to be friends. Tell him honestly in a strict voice that some actions that he has done is making you uneasy and hope that he will change his actions or we will not be friends anymore.
P.S. I was hit with the 2nd option when I did that and I really thank the girl whom open my eyes to the things I have done wrong and we were the best friend till today.
-
Originally posted by pokka77:
Hi Binz, its partial quite true in your statements that i have myself to blame for encouraging him. But its kinda diff position to distancing myself during office hours, first of all we are lunch kaki with group. 2nd i doesn't want the lunch group to notice anything coz it will be kinda embrass for me. As for outing and chats i can do that and see his reaction. But then again, to my analysation he problably wouldn't feel much different as he always have his guy friends as company. Its only during when his guys aren't around i think he will feel the differences.
After all these months, i came to notice that he is afraid of loneliness and his circles of friends aren't big too.. Just that couple of them, but they hang out almost altn. days..
Thus, your kind suggestion does help here and then. But not all..yeah.. i did blast him off last night.. And after that he didn't kinda reply me, maybe in my thought he doesn't know what to reply. But late into the night, he only sent a message saying that "You're emo because of ur study / work" ...
that's all.. sigh...
I thought of leaving the issue as it was and walk away nicely with grace but leaving space as friend.
Dear TS, generally, in any relationship, whoever cares more will have a disadvantage over the other person who doesn't care about the feelings of the other party. If this gentleman really cares about you, he will definately show concern whenever you fail to turn up for a routine event which you seldom or never misses. If he didn't display any kind of reaction after you began missing outings, I would suggest not wasting your time on someone like that.
Of course. much as I acknowledge the fact that all of us require some space, I don't think any girl would be impressed with a guy who cares more about being with his group of friends or some hobby than spending time with a girl whom he really likes; Im a guy by the way.
I think it is highly unlikely for you to walk away gracefully if he doesn't really care about your feelings. In fact, I am of the opinion that sometimes, it is not possible to achieve a best case scenario, especially if both affected parties are not willing to sit down and negotiate an acceptable deal. Given the scenario, I am afraid you might not have the "negotiating" chips to obtain the result you desire if it turns out for the worse.
-
Originally posted by DRC:
Hi Ts,
I got a different train of thought from the guys here.
I believe this guy was very hurt from his ex. He likes you but he wants to start it slow. i was like him once thats why I can understand his reaction.
Nobody likes to get hurt but it takes time for wounds to heal.
Next question is do you like him?
1) If you do and hope that you want to be with him. Just tell him nicely that you understand his pain from his previous relationship and lets start slowly from a nice friendship. . Ask him to stop giving you hints and go slow.
2) If you do not like him at all just tell him that you just simply want to be friends. Tell him honestly in a strict voice that some actions that he has done is making you uneasy and hope that he will change his actions or we will not be friends anymore.
P.S. I was hit with the 2nd option when I did that and I really thank the girl whom open my eyes to the things I have done wrong and we were the best friend till today.
Hi DRC, he did open up to me before that he was hurt too but i am not sure if its hurt badly on him. Coz he told me he had 2 gf respectively, 8yr and 1 yr.
the 8yrs one was like the relationship drag too long till no feeling for both, 1yr is characters problem can't click and the girl left for another friend of his and he saw them together and the ex gf confess of her betrayal.he want to start slow ? actually i have the same thought too, who doesn't have bad experiences of r/l but ain't we trying very hard to learn from mistake ? I wanna to start it slow too, i want to know him more but first of all i need to know if he is really interested in me or just fling with me.. he is making me very confuse and upset.
One hand he seems to be giving me tons of treatment even my my male colleagues also feel that he like and told me this.. Which i brush off and told him, they are too sensitive. Deep in my heart, i also can feel that. But when i indirect asking him, he tell me he isn't interested in me.. Then why is he leading me on ?Arrhh... Therefore your 1st suggestion, i doubt its going to work. Cos he is not opening up at his certain extend, meaning he open up his thoughts and stuff to his comfort zone. Certain things he is not responding..
-
Have breakfast together
Have lunch together
Club together
Movie together
Look into your eyes and you think its love
He got hugged by another woman and *CHECKS if you are jealous
Tells you cock and bull about his lifestyle
He tells you that he like ur company but not as a boy girl relationship stuff.
He gives u "gf type" treatment
He would always remind you not to fall for him
Conclusion :
He is just trying to mind fark you
He is taking advantage of you but you are dumb enough to think that its love (Lets face it )
Trying to hold you hand and you allow him to do so , why not just give him everything if you get what i mean.
He gets hugged by another woman and check on you if u are jealous . Imagine if you two are together as bf and gf and he is outside hugging another woman outside, what message is he trying to put across ??
Please dun give us the bullshit that you two will always try to wait for each other after work to walk out of office together. If he wasn't interested he could jolly well avoid and ignore me. But he didn't. SO ??? You feel that he loves u and thus he waits for you ?
This is gota be a god damn joke and I will be very delighted to see u two and slap some sense into you guys.
MY VERDICT :
PS. Tell him stop the foreplay ok please , its out of date . He is just another random office boy , nothing more , nothing less. If he really loves you , he would only see into your eyes , hug only you , be there for you for the next 80 years or so . But clearly , thats not gona happen.
If not , u can always turn to that married man that u were once fooling ard with . In the first place , you are tainted for fark sake.