Family Crisis: Dad Having Affair
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Hi, I am a 17 year-old teenager. I'm currently still studying in a local polytechnic. Just recently, my mum discovered that my dad's having an affair. To double confirm it, I went to check his mobile phone and found solid evidence of it, hundreds of disgusting smses between him and the whore. Right noiw, I'm probably in my worst period of my life, just when everything is going smoothly for me, this incident happened.
My dad still doesn't know about it, "we finding out about him having an affair". Right now, my brother, my mum and I are in a dilemna on what to do. Since the third-party whom my dad is having an affair is his worker, if the worker is sacked, will my dad still carry on with the relationship?
And? Is it legal for me to threaten the third-party to leave my dad alone? If she doesn't wants to leave, is it legal for me to force her to leave using violent means?
Thank you for taking the time to read and helping me out.
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I think you need to discuss with your siblings and your mum how to approach your dad about this.
Do you still love your dad?
Were you (and your family) willing to forgive your dad if he knows he's wrong?
Talk to him in a nice way and dont make him in awkward position.
If he's willing to talk about it, ask him whether he can leave the woman and stay with you and your family?
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My mom and siblings know about it, we are thinking of going to see a marriage counsellour, do you think it is a good way?
We are willing to forgive our dad at all cost.
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That is good if everybody willing to forgive your dad.
Now the ball is on your dad's court.
Find a good time to tell your dad about the affairs.
Ask him can he let go of the woman.
Tell him that everybody still love him alot.
If he's willing to, then it will be good.
You and your family need to talk to him first.
Going to marriage counsellor is for cases like marriage is nearly breakup...very hard to reconcile.
That will be the last resort.
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I don't think it's ever legal to threaten someone.
And I think that even if you and your family forgive your dad, you must make sure he understands that if he commits the same mistake again, he'll lose all of you for good.
Sadly though, a leopard hardly ever (if ever) changes it's spots. So, I'll say that there's a high chance he'll do this again if he thinks that he can get away with it.
PS: Not sure about the marriage counsellor thing but you can try.
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It will do children no good if TS father goes on seperation.
I have see a few cases liao.
Wife forgive hubby, and yet hubby (as what Little said), goes back to his old ways.
But if there is hope and solution, we must not give up.
Ts and family needs to give him a last chance.
Get maintanence fees every month. (that will be the last last option from the marital court order)
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you need to let us know how disgusting were those sms-es. i hope your father is only flirting but again flirting or if the sms-es went overboard then it is not right. nowadays lots of foregn workers out to hook man. does your dad seldom spen time with your mom or the family. if so then this is the telltale signs. oterhwise i think your mom can try to find some time with your dad and mayb spice up their lives a little. go on honey moon again. now sing dollar appreciate can go us mayb. how your parents sex life goinf. believe me sometimes this is the cause if they had poor sex life.
also check out or try to know a little about this 'whore' his background. since you peoplea re suspecting you can do all these check. hire a PI if you can afford. dn't make any move yet until you got evidence and confirm the act. if that 'slut' has got some backup one you make take note to keep the police involved if you do go for counselling.
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Originally posted by likeyou:
It will do children no good if TS father goes on seperation.
I have see a few cases liao.
Wife forgive hubby, and yet hubby (as what Little said), goes back to his old ways.
But if there is hope and solution, we must not give up.
Ts and family needs to give him a last chance.
Get maintanence fees every month. (that will be the last last option from the marital court order)
Hmmm I think the kids are old enough le ba.
And I think if the dad continues with his ways the kids will be even more negatively affected if they're still together lor.
Hmmm but it's up to TS la, different ppl handle this kinda situation differently. Too many factors involved liaoz.
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Confront your dad about this problem. Its only fair to your mum
Threatening wont solve the problem. The 3rd party might not give a damm. Might as well your dad leaves her instead of the other way.
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TS,best is take revenge on ur dad.ask ur mum to have sex wth me.i have very big cock.sure ur mum will love my cock.and ask ur dad to watch how the real man fuck ur mum.
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Originally posted by troublemaker2005:
you need to let us know how disgusting were those sms-es. i hope your father is only flirting but again flirting or if the sms-es went overboard then it is not right. nowadays lots of foregn workers out to hook man. does your dad seldom spen time with your mom or the family. if so then this is the telltale signs. oterhwise i think your mom can try to find some time with your dad and mayb spice up their lives a little. go on honey moon again. now sing dollar appreciate can go us mayb. how your parents sex life goinf. believe me sometimes this is the cause if they had poor sex life.
also check out or try to know a little about this 'whore' his background. since you peoplea re suspecting you can do all these check. hire a PI if you can afford. dn't make any move yet until you got evidence and confirm the act. if that 'slut' has got some backup one you make take note to keep the police involved if you do go for counselling.
Hire a PI to check on TS dad is a good idea to get to know more on what he's actually doing behind Ts back.
But it will be expensive to hire PI. Maybe TS can consider whether TS want to have PI service or not.
Do prepare for the worst as PI will show TS photos, everything from her dad.
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Originally posted by TTFU:
Confront your dad about this problem. Its only fair to your mum
Threatening wont solve the problem. The 3rd party might not give a damm. Might as well your dad leaves her instead of the other way.
Many family got break up due to the 3rd party.And why cant the 3rd party be more rational, and think about that man's family? Instead of having affair with him? The 3rd party should know that 'playing' with married man can kill his family members.
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affairs are quite common in these days as society is opening up.
better tell ur father that you all have discover it already and see what he is going to do about it. If he is unrepentent, then your mum can file for divorce...
just live on with your life even if you all have to settle divorce thing. There are more important thing to worry about in life. Take it as a lesson. Guys often are not loyal one in these societies.
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Originally posted by january:
affairs are quite common in these days as society is opening up.
better tell ur father that you all have discover it already and see what he is going to do about it. If he is unrepentent, then your mum can file for divorce...
just live on with your life even if you all have to settle divorce thing. There are more important thing to worry about in life. Take it as a lesson. Guys often are not loyal one in these societies.
well, I differ a bit.
what is society is opening up? I think our values are eroding.
In the past, couples are match-made, but can last time, cause they know they are in it for the long haul and try to work all problems out.
now, with the westernised influence, divorce/marriage is a trip to vegas' booth or a simple trip to lawyers.
of course, I am not negating those cases where there are abusive, martial rapes and etc.
but do be objective, not all guys are disloyal, we all know that some gals are always scaling the walls and hanky panky.
as for TS, i think the confrontation may be explosive, it would be good to get someone respected in your family, of course a cool-headed one, and have a family meeting. I still think it needs to be worked internally and not a full-blown affair.
and resorting to violence/intimidation may sometimes backfire.
just my two cents. no offense, Jan.
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You try to confront him later he 翻脸 and say stupid things like it's not his fault but your mom or whatnot. Or if your dad kuniang type he maybe cry ask for forgiveness. Main thing here is that once the trust is gone, things will never be the same. You look at his face you only see a cheating dog.
Don't bother threatening the worker cos she will only alert to your dad, that little bitch sure won't leave.
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are you young?
are you female?
if yes, forget about your father
i will "take care" of you
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Originally posted by PedoBear:
are you young?
are you female?
if yes, forget about your father
i will "take care" of you
Ya. Trust pedobear over your father.
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TS may not now much details about this 'affair; yet. my suggestion is since the issue has not be fully blown and since father nad others may not know this suspicions aroused yet there is still a chance to work it out right. Saving a marriage is always a couple's first objective, esp when they have kids. unless either oarty is feeling it impossible to live together anymore. TS you may ot had provided or know much details about the whole story. you can suggest to your mother to meet up and seek advice from professionals. they can be volunteers too. divorce and going to court should be the last resort. confrontig your father and her 'whore' at the workplace is not good as most employer's prefer employees to settle their personal affairs outside company premises, esp now the third party is also an employee of the same organization. unless of course its your family business. either way its not the time to make this move yet. mayb TS can provide more details for better more more advice of bptons people here can present.
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TS,
Amazing how the human mind deludes itself. To simply blame the other woman is ridiculous. Cos both are in it.
Why u want to ''kaypoh'' about the other woman? The one in it is responsible and as long as he does not acknowledge and assume resp. it is going to be chaos! That is where the focus ought to be - his negation of his responsiblities: his role to the family as a husband and as a father. One simply forgets that behind these roles there is a human being crying out to be free. That is something that needs fixing.
As to what they are - only you and your other family members can decide.
Imposing what he ought to be is something that will not work. It has to be of his own free will.
As for legal action - for now utter waste of time and money. The court is not going to interfere and mediation is unhealthy cos it merely boxes one in!
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Well, if you are a good looking with a six pack tummy young guy, come to me, i can help you solve your problem. If you are female, approach pedobear then
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Originally posted by Sn0wb0ss:
My mom and siblings know about it, we are thinking of going to see a marriage counsellour, do you think it is a good way?
We are willing to forgive our dad at all cost.
SEE MARRIAGE COUNSELLOR NO USE ONE...................
obviously your dad is sick of your mom liao..............
the only way is for your mom to go for cosmetic surgery to GREATLY ENHANCE her figure...............
also she must try to learn to FARK like a pornstar...................
sad but true................
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Originally posted by Asromanista2001:
SEE MARRIAGE COUNSELLOR NO USE ONE...................
obviously your dad is sick of your mom liao..............
the only way is for your mom to go for cosmetic surgery to GREATLY ENHANCE her figure...............
also she must try to learn to FARK like a pornstar...................
sad but true................
the truth is, most marriage counsellors are either divorcee or having family problem themselves. So, dun see them, see me!
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Just "advised" your mum to warn your father that if he does not left the third party and return back to the family, your mum will also given up on him, renounced the world and went to become an nun or priestess or something like that, see how your Dad reacted, either which decision your mum made depend on your Dad 's choice, it will definitely be an win-win situation for her.
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Originally posted by angel7030:
the truth is, most marriage counsellors are either divorcee or having family problem themselves. So, dun see them, see me!
See you?Ha...Angel...what if you try to seduce TS father?
Better dont see Angel.
Waste time only.
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Originally posted by M the name:
Just "advised" your mum to warn your father that if he does not left the third party and return back to the family, your mum will also given up on him, renounced the world and went to become an nun or priestess or something like that, see how your Dad reacted, either which decision your mum made depend on your Dad 's choice, it will definitely be an win-win situation for her.
What if ts father say ok, I off with that lady.Then chialet liao cos ts family still loves their father.