Sad sad story
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I have a story to share with the cyberians of this forum ... ...
How true is the sentence that was being discussed of late: "The one you marry may not be the one you loved Â… Â…"
Well, in the story, we have this stupid guy Â… He is just a simple guy, having an average life. Basically, working and studying part-time like many other S'poreans. While it seems like he should be happy, having a good job, studying for degree and having a gf Â… but he isn't.
His gf had been with him for a long time, very long. Them have known each other since, well, when she was still schooling. Anyway, at the start of the r/s, the couple was really happy, enjoying each another company and love. However, slowly, things start to change. While what seems to be a nice gal, turns into a nightmare at times. She had problem controlling her temper. As the bf, the guy really tried to endure and counsel her. The gal seems to have a double personality, really really nice at times, and very bad tempered at other. Especially when pressure comes in, it is usually diverted at the guy. For the start, the bf endured and tried to help. After a very long time, he started to get tired. He feeling that he is losing his life. The gf had endless quarrels with him over his company when he is with his friends. She seems ever needing his company and that she can't be alone herself. The stupid guy begin to distance from his friends a little and kept the gf company, to avoid the useless quarrels. In their talks and quarrels, to the guy, it seems that the gf doesn't listens to him at all. He started to get the feeling that words doesn't get to the gal, as she is a very strong headed person who stands by her idea at all times. Slowly, the guy stop talkingÂ… Â…
So, the problem goes on Â… Â… The feeling started to get weak for the guy Â… However, the guy, being stupid, stuck with her at all times. Though he feels tired, and sometimes sad for himself, he did not initiate a breakup. At the start of the problem, he felt that maybe changes would come and things would get better. But it did not, things got worst. However, while the feelings at the heart had began to whither, the stupid guy's loyalty and sense of guilt/ responsibility remain as strong.
He feels that he is bonded by his oath to the gal, that he would take care of her, always. Also, since they have had made love, he felt that he should be responsible to her. This dragged on for sometime.
While they were together all this time, the guy had remained faithful. A few gals had passed by, but the guy did not falter. Of course at the start, when they were still loving, his love keep him firm. When things start to go bad, it was his sense of loyalty and responsibility which stood up.
Times go by and the life goes on Â… Â… Finally, until one day, he was really tired, so tired that he began to give up Â… Â… Things start to change in him, he stop to be ever caring and loving to the galÂ… Â… She sensed it and asked him Â… but he didn't tell her Â… It was because the gal ever said that she would not ever loved another Â… He was really scared he would have caused her to lose her life Â… Â…
However, when the feeling is gone, it is gone. Things goes into a monotone for the guy Â… work, accompany her, eat, sleep, study Â… There doesn't seems to be any feelings in his life anymore. Nowadays, he would go out with his friends late at night after she had fall asleep. He felt that perhaps there is still some life with his friends Â… However, as usually, to avoid conflicts, he chose to go out with his friends late at nightÂ… The gf had always been a paranoid, always wanting to wait for the guy to be home before sleeping Â… Â… or keep calling him when uncontactable. If any guy would know, this give the feeling that he canÂ’t be trusted Â… It is just like when you are young and your mum doesn't let you out late Â… However, when the come of age (when you are older), she would usually allows and stop to interfere with your life. The gf never did ... Â…
Anyway, as things fall into monotone for the guy Â… going out with his friends doesn't help much. He got a lot less sleep and its seems like the smile on his face was gone Â…. Â…
However, something changed one day. A temp staff in his office caught his attention Â… Unknowing his own actions, he tried to get to know the gal Â… Â… That's was when he life from monotone became misery.
He became friend with the new gal Â… and he really enjoyed her company Â… However, fear began to cave in Â… He knew he had fallen for the gal Â… Â… which to him, was a really dishearten thing. He knows that he canÂ’t woo the gal, since he had a gf Â… and it is not fair that the gal doesn't know (well, both of them). So he tried to keep it cool Â… but in his heart, pain and more pain was all he felt.
He felt that he was being bad and unfair, and he came to a conclusion. He wants to tell the gal about his r/s Â… Â… He knows that would probably caused him to lose her forever Â… Â… how would a gal trust a guy who is wooing her while he had a gf? So, he asked her out one day Â… Â… for movies and maybe a talk afterwards .. however, the gal wasn't free at the time and so the guy ask her out for lunch Â… Anyway, the gal was free in the evening and wanted to treat the guy dinner Â… Â… They had dinner together and both had quite some time together. The guy wanted to tell her then, but words got stuck in his mouth. He wanted very much (very very) to spend more time with her, go to the movies and maybe a walk later. She would not know ... had badly he felt ... ... He didn't ask for movies, he got afraid Â… afraid that he cannot let go of this gal from then Â… In the past few days, he doesn't dare to call her too, for her voice is too enchanting Â… Â…
Meanwhile, the r/s got worse until the couple almost broke up. Perhaps it was guilt, loyalty, responsibility, fear or sympathy, the guy don't know, but they didn't break up. The stupid guy just couldn't do Â… Unless he knows that she would have a better life if they break, if she can find someone who would love her more than he ever did, he dare not mention a breakup. But the gf sensed that he love was not as strong, or even wondering was it still there. But how can he tell Â… Â…
He had decided then Â… he would tell the gal about himself and from then, stop thinking about her Â… Â… He knows he hasn't been fair Â… Â… but anyway the gal may not liked him at the start, he would never know this now Â… there were many ifs but his conclusion Â… he could not woo her Â… Â… Even if finally the couple were to breakup Â… he wouldn't. He felt that the gal should deserve someone better than him Â…To him, the gal is like the morning sun, filled with hopes and a great life ahead, he shouldn't change that... he is not worthy ... ... Maybe he would stay single for good anyway Â… Â… That's how things are now Â… the guy trying to tell the gal and end his feelings for her, while trying to stick to the gf, as long as possible Â… Â…
Apologies, as I was never good at composition, for those who read this story Â… Â…
Yes, most of you might think the guy is stupid Â… indecisive .. whatever Â…
That's my story and I think I should end here Â… Â… -
so long ah ...
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the text appears long enough to convince me its a sad story sia ..
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u haven seen mine...Originally posted by blue_kelvinsg:so long ah ...
http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=39632 -
your story sounds so very familiar... so what's the status now?
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-- There's no use in talking to her if she doesn't even wan to listen and always stand on her point of views.. This relations is jus a pair of chopsticks.. You cant eat with jus one chopstick.. You need 2 chopsticks to pick up the food you want.. If one who tries and tries using jus one chopstick to eat.. After trying so hard for sometimes he will eventually give up.. It seems that without the other chopstick help.. he will never get to eat his food... This applies to the guy and the gf.. he talked she dun listen.. She thinks that she's always right.. she stand by herself.. and there;s no need for you to tell her what to do.. She cant be alone?? She got no friends of her own?? She;s too used to his company.. Therefore this becomes a routine in her life... and in this relation... Another thing she's being too possessive.. He can't even go out with his group of friends.. and be cos of her..he got to give up his friends...the start of the r/s, the couple was really happy, enjoying each another company and love...what seems to be a nice gal, turns into a nightmare at times. She had problem controlling her temper. As the bf, the guy really tried to endure and counsel her. The gal seems to have a double personality, really really nice at times, and very bad tempered at other...when pressure comes in, it is usually diverted at the guy. [/quote]
-- People in a relationship for the first few months.. Its always the "Honeymoon Period". But of cos some people doesn't experience that when they start of with their relationship.. They may have quarrels/conflicts.. and then after everything ceased down.. they will treasure each other more and thats when their "Honeymoon Period" starts from..
-- During their "Honeymoon Period" they will be very loving and caring.. They will try to compromise with one another.. Dun quarrel often.. And always show the best side of yourself... But that's oni surface.. She's jus showing some good part of herself.. As time goes by, when she get more used to that guy.. she will eventually show the other side of her.. Her true self! She has no one to turn to.. and she's always with him.. and of cos.. she will vent her anger on him.. She should try to tame her temper down!the bf endured and tried to help...he started to get tired...feeling that he is losing his life...gf had endless quarrels with him over his company when he is with his friends. She seems ever needing his company and that she can't be alone herself. The stupid guy begin to distance from his friends a little and kept the gf company.. In their talks and quarrels, to the guy, it seems that the gf doesn't listens to him at all. He started to get the feeling that words doesn't get to the gal...stands by her idea at all times. Slowly, the guy stop talkingÂ…
-- Sometimes a couple stays together for some reasons.. For him.. he tot things would change.. This is why he did ask for a break up.. He wants to see progress made in the relationship they had... Bonded by his oath to the gf.. Or issit this becomes a routine relation?? Or he doesn't want to see her sad.. Making love is when both parties agree willingly.. No one force them to it... I don't think responsibility comes into the picture.. Is he her first guy?? If is not.. then being responsible is not important.. Unless the gf is pregnant and that's another issue!The feeling started to get weakÂ… he feels tired, and sometimes sad for himself, he did not initiate a breakup. At the start of the problem, he felt that maybe changes would come and things would get better... things got worst...the feelings at the heart had began to whither, the stupid guy's loyalty and sense of guilt/ responsibility remain as strong... feels that he is bonded by his oath to the gal, that he would take care of her, always. Also, since they have had made love, he felt that he should be responsible to her. This dragged on for sometime.
-- Is this her first relation?? If not then why so scared to break up with her.. Think that she will commit suicide?? If she were to.. She already dead.. (*touchwood* sorry for saying such things.. but jus stating examples here). She knows he had stop loving.. and eventually the issue on breaking is bound to come.. She doesn't wan to lose him.. and therefore she told him that he would not love another.. She wants to get his attention back.. But then she's not doin her job as a gf.. instead she make it worse.. and now all these have come to this stage...Â…until one day, he was so tired that he began to give up Â…things start to change in him, he stop to be ever caring and loving to the galÂ…She sensed it and asked him..but he didn't tell her Â…because the gal ever said that she would not ever loved another Â…He was really scared he would have caused her to lose her life Â…
-- See the routine... Taken for granted and becoming so used to the situation..the feeling is gone and nothing can be done...She's being over-protective that scares the guy.. Holding on too tight.. and the guy couldn't breathe.. LAck of communication at all in here!!! And made himself so miserable...There wasnt any happiness in him.. NO love no care.. He should get on with his own life......the feeling is gone..work, accompany her, eat, sleep, studyÂ…there doesn't seems to be any feelings in his life anymore...he would go out with his friends late at night after she had fall asleep...gf had always been a paranoid, always wanting to wait for the guy to be home before sleeping.. or keep calling him when uncontactable....-- Is not the matter of guilt, loyalty or whatsoever.. If really up to that point where nothing can turn back... To stay put in this relations.. Is bad for both of them.. He says wait till she found someone better who will love her more than he do.. But if both still in a relations.. how is she goin to get out of it.. She still thinks that you be there for her always and ever... He don't let go.. She will never forget him and move on.. And he will be forever living in misery.. Both will not find their own happiness..... the r/s got worse until the couple almost broke up. Perhaps it was guilt, loyalty, responsibility, fear or sympathy, the guy don't know, but they didn't break up.Â…Unless he knows that she would have a better life if they break, if she can find someone who would love her more than he ever did....the gf sensed that he love was not as strong, or even wondering was it still there..
[quote]he would tell the gal about himself and from then, stop thinking about her Â…He knows he hasn't been fairÂ…but anyway the gal may not liked him.. he would never know this now Â…he could not woo her Â…Even if finally the couple were to breakup..Maybe he would stay single for good anyway.. that's how things are now...the guy trying to tell the gal and end his feelings for her, while trying to stick to the gf, as long as possibleÂ…-- I don't think there's a need to tell the gal about all this.. Since she's isnt the one invovled in it.. Before there's already a problem in the r/s but the guy jus dragged and doesnt want to come out a conclusion, once and for all settle it... The feelings for the gal should jus keep in his heart and forever remain there.. He don't know the gal likes him anot.. If he would to confess about his feelings to her.. Will he scare her off...?? and then back off from him.. Like that.. friends also cannot be.. Dun get into a relation so fast jus after a break up.. Have some space for himself to breathe.. and do some soul-searching about his life...
-- There's no love in him to his gf.. I see no point in continuing this... If this goes on.. it wouldn't do any good for both.. Too much possessiveness and NO COmmunication.. I suggest he settle fast with his gf.. Have more confidence and make the decision fast.. He's jus like driving a car with no direction of where he wanna go.. Leaving things as it is... Soon again.. conflicts still will come back.. He need to really do something about it..
Cheers! -
VERY LONG....
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Originally posted by De|usi0n:
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Thanks sunrise on your comments. I actually needed the advice on about telling the gal about my problems... I guess I really shouldn't, and hence would not be going to do so.
BTW beanie, this kindda sad stories should be quite common I guess ... ... I am still in a stage of sadness, hoping to solve my problems ... ...
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like what i say you should keep it to yourself first.. settle with your gf first.. i have no right to ask you 2 break up.. but for the situation here.. since she doesn;t put in much effort in it.. and only you are trying so hard tp revive this relation..Originally posted by sadsadguy:Thanks sunrise on your comments. I actually needed the advice on about telling the gal about my problems... I guess I really shouldn't, and hence would not be going to do so.
BTW beanie, this kindda sad stories should be quite common I guess ... ... I am still in a stage of sadness, hoping to solve my problems ... ...
but however.. no solution came up to now.. and you are tired of trying it again.. since she doesnt even realise... you doesnt love her.. you done all your best.. but then things got worse than you expected.. Brace up your confidence dun sink into your sadness and leave it hanging there...
She need to realise whats wrong with this relations.. maybe try talking to her again.. of cos pls dun quarrel.. once quarrelling starts neither both will listen to each other.. so whatever being said is all wasted... talk to her calmly and nicely.. let her whats going on here.. and the problems you 2 had.. tell her if there anyway that can change... tell her how you feel.. try to come up with some solutions and both can agree to it...
If things still doesnt work out.. then you have to think about it again.. whether to continue or give up.. If you continue to let this matter be itself.. its going to ruin both of your happiness... this hurt will be deeper and deeper for you and for her...
All the best to you! hope you really can make up your mind n don't be indecisive anymore... You got to learn to face it.. Dont try to avoid and drag on.. it will worsen the situation...
Take care!!! -
For the first time writing a going-to-be long post, I ain't quoting because it will seemed to be even more essay than usual.
You are not indecisive, rather, you are too honest, a straight thinker who doesn't bend circumstances to your rule. Being faithful is criticial in a relationship, however - it is the kind of relationship that seek to differ.
You remain in this relationship because of responsiblity, loyalty, etc. Let me tell you something; When I was young and started getting addicted to computer games, my mum would call me for dinner and I would always tell her later. Until when she was quite pissed, she would storm into my room and off my computer with this legendary statement, 'You think by playing games can fill your stomach?'
Let me ask you back 'You think solo by responsibility, loyalty, etc is sufficient to maintain a relationship?'
Whats relationship without love? Its like denying moisture to skin; in the end the skin dry up, crack and bleed, leaving a whole patch of dead dried skin, like an empty animal carcass.
You like that girl at your workplace, just that your relationship is hindering you - you feel gulity because you have a gf and the word 'FAITHFUL' kept ringing in your head. At the same time, 'Fight for your love' too sprung out - colliding and jammed your mind.
The girl can find a better guy? Finding excuses to give up ain't you? OR are you fearful of the consequences and chain effect of losing your present loveless relation? You mentioned that this relationship has gone for a long period of time - you are living in this blanket of relation far too long and afraid to come out of it alone.
Stop saying you ain't worthy of her because it only reveal your inferiority caused by the edge of your present relationship that wounds you deep inside. You are definitely worthy of her, so stop using it as an excuse not to go after her. The real excuse is because you chose your present relationship - so be it. It has NOTHING to do with worthiness.
So what now?
Your decision has dragged far too long and it has negative impact on you. You need clarity and a very good rest from RELATIONSHIP (All kinds of BGR). Take ample time to rest and have a break. With a clearer mind, you can think better and make better decisions.
P.S: How long do you intend to drag if you never post it here? How long are you going to avoid your true feeling? How long are you going to let this climb over you and affect your life? You don't love her at all means you won't marry her (unless external factors take place) - so what you want? An eternal BGR eh?
*Just for interest sake: Are you Taurus, Leo, Aquarius or Scorpio?*
Cheers -
wah... long long long~~
what i see here is a typical couple being together and staying together out of habit. it's like linus' security blanket. he can surely live without it, but wouldn't ever dream of giving it up.
it's easy to talk about this in theory, but for the couple going thru what i call an ordeal, it's plain hell. simple in theory but nerve-wrecking in pratical. sad to say, many such couples go beyond marriage and even live to see granchildren, undivorced. such is the power of withdrawn humans.
it may be a bit lame to say this, but some things have to be forced down the throat. you have to talk to your gf. you have to MAKE SURE she listens to you. and you have to bring urself to do anything to get these feelings of urs across. if not wat's the point? u can of course choose to carry on this way indefinitely, taking heed that won't be the first to have done so, but feeling sh[/i]itty for the rest of your life. bite the bullet now, or "forever hold your peace". i dun think u wanna have this "discussion" with her while your kids are 6 and 8, do you?
as for the third-party, from the sounds of it, she's not involved, yet. the best thing she's done for you is maybe to make u realise that since u're looking elsewhere, even with your loyal and faithful character, it means your reln with ur gf has taken yet another turn, for the worse.
while this situation isn't hard to "solve", the complexity arises in the execution. you may find it hard to spill your guts in a no-shi[/i]t manner to her, she may become animalistic since her temper is so bad, threaten to do many stupid things to gain ur sympathy, you may feel sorry for her, or just can't even bring up the topic in the first place. all of the above and probably more are actions NOT conducted out of love. that's something u have to always tell urself. this is not love anymore. it's about habit. u will just have play hardball and put the cards down on the table. if you're gonna be weak half-way thru and succumb during "negotiations" then well, none of us can help you.
notice that i never mentioned a word of breaking up. it's the communication of feelings of both sides that needs to be done. it's not a "let's do this, let's do that". simply put, this is actually an "information exchanging" session between the two of you. only that this information is rather sensitive and disturbing. wat to do? couples in love have to be honest to each other right? or am i living in THAT warped a world?
i've heard enuff stories of pple that marry out of habit. i hope you're not one of them. let's hope you may marry this gf of yours, out of LOVE. -
Thanks Yunhaier and Joho for your advices ...
Yunhaier, no ... it would not be an eternal BGR ... I will solve this problem soon. And no, I wun be going after the gal ... ...
I will see if this r/s has any future (Joho's advice) and decide soon ... Even if there is a breakup ... I wun be going after the other gal ... I think I need a rest and some feeling of freedom at last ... ... It will be a beautiful dream to me, that's all. And if talks between us works, i mean my gf, i guess the r/s might still work ... ...
Anyway, thanks for all your advices .... ... I thank you for them At least that is something I can smile about. -
I respect your choice. But one word of advice: you have decide to chose your present girl - do absolute what you must to maintain that good relation and better. You made the decision, you have to make the equal effort too. If not, re-consider your choice.Originally posted by sadsadguy:Thanks Yunhaier and Joho for your advices ...
Yunhaier, no ... it would not be an eternal BGR ... I will solve this problem soon. And no, I wun be going after the gal ... ...
I will see if this r/s has any future (Joho's advice) and decide soon ... Even if there is a breakup ... I wun be going after the other gal ... I think I need a rest and some feeling of freedom at last ... ... It will be a beautiful dream to me, that's all. And if talks between us works, i mean my gf, i guess the r/s might still work ... ...
Anyway, thanks for all your advices .... ... I thank you for them At least that is something I can smile about.
Choices is not just about making decisions - its about what you have and going to do about it.
Cheers -
sad guy,
the story is v familiar to me bec i m at e opp end of the story. My hubby was involved with this woman n like u was caught in between 2 girls.
The main issue is here is: who do you really love? who do you wanna spend the rest of your life with?
Think about these:
- why did u first fall for your current girlfren?
- what makes u fall out of love with her?
- did u seriously and calmly discuss e probs with her?
If u seriously wanna work things out with her, u have gotta communicate with her n iron things out. I wld suggest u come clean with her. However, if u think she can't accept e reality, then mayb juz let her know tat u r starting 2 fall out of luv with her. But of course do it tactfully, assure her tat u still luv her but needs her to put in efforts too to keep the re'ship going. And of course, stay away from the other girl. -
your story damn long leh....but i managed to read finish....and i got this advice to u:
5-6 years ago...i've got this gal friend who told me straight in the face that when she got married...she may not marry the one she loves...she said that as long as the man can provide for her and she finds him ok...den she'll marry him regardless of whether she loves him ornot...
I was shocked to hear those words at that time...i tot to myself that she wa juz a materialistic gal....but i find her quite nice lah...contradictory hor...never mind....
However 5 years later...i finally found truth to what she said....along the way, i've witnessed and exp these so called troublesome bgr thing....from these i realised that true love is one thing that is very elusive to me....at least....there are no so-called perfect gf / bf in this world...hence...i finally agreed to what my friend has said before....
therefore...it's not really important to find someone u love to marry...u cant expect someone to change for ur sake....tt's not true love....
True Love is the ability to accept someone as who she is...not expecting her to change for your sake...if u cant even do that...life might just be that tad miserable...
Geez....i sure sounds old....think i really old liao...so cheesy.. -
Hmm... Finally finished story liao... Is it a TRUE story...?
If it IS.... 98% chance you're talking about yourself...? -
1stOriginally posted by sadsadguy:I have a story to share with the cyberians of this forum ... ...
How true is the sentence that was being discussed of late: "The one you marry may not be the one you loved Â… Â…"
Well, in the story, we have this stupid guy Â… He is just a simple guy, having an average life. Basically, working and studying part-time like many other S'poreans. While it seems like he should be happy, having a good job, studying for degree and having a gf Â… but he isn't.
His gf had been with him for a long time, very long. Them have known each other since, well, when she was still schooling. Anyway, at the start of the r/s, the couple was really happy, enjoying each another company and love. However, slowly, things start to change. While what seems to be a nice gal, turns into a nightmare at times. She had problem controlling her temper. As the bf, the guy really tried to endure and counsel her. The gal seems to have a double personality, really really nice at times, and very bad tempered at other. Especially when pressure comes in, it is usually diverted at the guy. For the start, the bf endured and tried to help. After a very long time, he started to get tired. He feeling that he is losing his life. The gf had endless quarrels with him over his company when he is with his friends. She seems ever needing his company and that she can't be alone herself. The stupid guy begin to distance from his friends a little and kept the gf company, to avoid the useless quarrels. In their talks and quarrels, to the guy, it seems that the gf doesn't listens to him at all. He started to get the feeling that words doesn't get to the gal, as she is a very strong headed person who stands by her idea at all times. Slowly, the guy stop talkingÂ… Â…
So, the problem goes on Â… Â… The feeling started to get weak for the guy Â… However, the guy, being stupid, stuck with her at all times. Though he feels tired, and sometimes sad for himself, he did not initiate a breakup. At the start of the problem, he felt that maybe changes would come and things would get better. But it did not, things got worst. However, while the feelings at the heart had began to whither, the stupid guy's loyalty and sense of guilt/ responsibility remain as strong.
He feels that he is bonded by his oath to the gal, that he would take care of her, always. Also, since they have had made love, he felt that he should be responsible to her. This dragged on for sometime.
While they were together all this time, the guy had remained faithful. A few gals had passed by, but the guy did not falter. Of course at the start, when they were still loving, his love keep him firm. When things start to go bad, it was his sense of loyalty and responsibility which stood up.
Times go by and the life goes on Â… Â… Finally, until one day, he was really tired, so tired that he began to give up Â… Â… Things start to change in him, he stop to be ever caring and loving to the galÂ… Â… She sensed it and asked him Â… but he didn't tell her Â… It was because the gal ever said that she would not ever loved another Â… He was really scared he would have caused her to lose her life Â… Â…
However, when the feeling is gone, it is gone. Things goes into a monotone for the guy Â… work, accompany her, eat, sleep, study Â… There doesn't seems to be any feelings in his life anymore. Nowadays, he would go out with his friends late at night after she had fall asleep. He felt that perhaps there is still some life with his friends Â… However, as usually, to avoid conflicts, he chose to go out with his friends late at nightÂ… The gf had always been a paranoid, always wanting to wait for the guy to be home before sleeping Â… Â… or keep calling him when uncontactable. If any guy would know, this give the feeling that he canÂ’t be trusted Â… It is just like when you are young and your mum doesn't let you out late Â… However, when the come of age (when you are older), she would usually allows and stop to interfere with your life. The gf never did ... Â…
Anyway, as things fall into monotone for the guy Â… going out with his friends doesn't help much. He got a lot less sleep and its seems like the smile on his face was gone Â…. Â…
However, something changed one day. A temp staff in his office caught his attention Â… Unknowing his own actions, he tried to get to know the gal Â… Â… That's was when he life from monotone became misery.
He became friend with the new gal Â… and he really enjoyed her company Â… However, fear began to cave in Â… He knew he had fallen for the gal Â… Â… which to him, was a really dishearten thing. He knows that he canÂ’t woo the gal, since he had a gf Â… and it is not fair that the gal doesn't know (well, both of them). So he tried to keep it cool Â… but in his heart, pain and more pain was all he felt.
He felt that he was being bad and unfair, and he came to a conclusion. He wants to tell the gal about his r/s Â… Â… He knows that would probably caused him to lose her forever Â… Â… how would a gal trust a guy who is wooing her while he had a gf? So, he asked her out one day Â… Â… for movies and maybe a talk afterwards .. however, the gal wasn't free at the time and so the guy ask her out for lunch Â… Anyway, the gal was free in the evening and wanted to treat the guy dinner Â… Â… They had dinner together and both had quite some time together. The guy wanted to tell her then, but words got stuck in his mouth. He wanted very much (very very) to spend more time with her, go to the movies and maybe a walk later. She would not know ... had badly he felt ... ... He didn't ask for movies, he got afraid Â… afraid that he cannot let go of this gal from then Â… In the past few days, he doesn't dare to call her too, for her voice is too enchanting Â… Â…
Meanwhile, the r/s got worse until the couple almost broke up. Perhaps it was guilt, loyalty, responsibility, fear or sympathy, the guy don't know, but they didn't break up. The stupid guy just couldn't do Â… Unless he knows that she would have a better life if they break, if she can find someone who would love her more than he ever did, he dare not mention a breakup. But the gf sensed that he love was not as strong, or even wondering was it still there. But how can he tell Â… Â…
He had decided then Â… he would tell the gal about himself and from then, stop thinking about her Â… Â… He knows he hasn't been fair Â… Â… but anyway the gal may not liked him at the start, he would never know this now Â… there were many ifs but his conclusion Â… he could not woo her Â… Â… Even if finally the couple were to breakup Â… he wouldn't. He felt that the gal should deserve someone better than him Â…To him, the gal is like the morning sun, filled with hopes and a great life ahead, he shouldn't change that... he is not worthy ... ... Maybe he would stay single for good anyway Â… Â… That's how things are now Â… the guy trying to tell the gal and end his feelings for her, while trying to stick to the gf, as long as possible Â… Â…
Apologies, as I was never good at composition, for those who read this story Â… Â…
Yes, most of you might think the guy is stupid Â… indecisive .. whatever Â…
That's my story and I think I should end here Â… Â…
Change is constant in life. Mind should accord with changes.
Do not use yersterday's mind to perceive today's happenings.
Zhuang Zi
2nd
Life is not long, and too much of it must not pass in idle deliberation how it shall be spent. Johnson
3rd
Keep true, never be ashamed of doing right;
decide on what you think is right and stick to it. George Eliot -
Originally posted by john hunter:3rd
Keep true, never be ashamed of doing right;
decide on what you think is right and stick to it. George Eliot -
Beanie ... well, your case not really like mine, cos I din get started with the gal ... Though a bit heart pain here and there nowadays, I haben contacted the gal ... I hope that whatever decision I make with my gf for the r/s, doesn't have the other gal as a factor. If we were to break up, I hope its because its our own problem, and not caused by a third party.
Yes, Devil, tht's me in the story ... you din see the replies yet, i guess.
Hmm, making the decision which "I" think is "right"? Well, my "Right" is your "Left" ... so how can I say my decision is "right". It all boils down to communication and see wht is better for both parties ... ... -
Nope... I have not seen their replies.... You sounds like a rational enough guy? But something's a bit weird...? May I know your age and starsign..? Your gf's starsign...? Ideally if you have the 3rd party's starsign the merrier.....Originally posted by sadsadguy:Yes, Devil, tht's me in the story ... you din see the replies yet, i guess.
Hmm.... ~Ponders.....~ -
I don't think it's quite right for me to make such a WILD GUESS, but.... You happens by any CHANCE be a LIBRA?
-
You're REGRETFUL for the things you've done... But you're CHAINED.... You wanna ESCAPE, WAY OUT but you CAN'T.... The RESPONSIBILITIES.... The decisions you SHOULD be making... Because of WHO YOU ARE.... It TIED you up and it PULLS you down.... Your Life tries to go on.... But the efforts required is SUFFOCATING.... You end up in your BUNDLE again... TIED you down.... So MANY bundles you're carrying with you.... SLOWS you down... Until your life comes almost to a STANDSTILL....
You know what's your PROBLEM? You're NOT a man of the PRESENT, you're a man of the PAST. You CAN'T MOVE, because you've got to LIVE UP to YOUR PROMISE. That's you. You believe that you're NOT born to hurt, you're born to LOVE. Having NOT accomplished that, you CAN'T LET GO.... It's like a MISSION INCOMPLETE.... ESCAPE is just like ABORTING the mission... Where are YOUR RESPONSIBILITES...? You CAN'T do.....
You're here to GAIN CONFIDENCE in the DECISION you wanna make... (though you'll probably still have a hard time executing it despite the assurance ya get anyway? )
Life goes on... You know you have to break out of this chain somehow but YET, you're not sure HOW....? How to carry it out...? How NOT to FAIL this 'mission' which is already INCOMPLETED.... YES... It all MATTERS ALOT to you.....
People get SEPARATED, you like it or not.... People HURT one another because there's LOVE.... Holding back the 'cut' doesn't totally EASE the PAIN most of the time.... It just try to hold back a 'major bleeding'.... Prolong the effects.... Ask yourself this? Would prolonging things make a difference? Any CHANCE of RECOVERY at all? Some things would still happen eventually... You can try to keep your COOL today, but maybe not tomorrow....
HOLD the photo of your gf in your hands... Look at her.... Though ya know that you LOVE her.... But tell yourself this... What's really good for her...? What's the BETTER for all of you...?
"Darkness is the land you choose to stand....
Eternity, the word ya chose SPOKEN...." -
just wondering....since you guys are not married (rite?), shouldn't there be no obligation?
U already know what to do so do it. I feel that if u can fall in love wif sumone else, or even have special feelings for sumone else, tat means ur love wif ur current gf is not that strong or perhaps not there anymore. Like a case of "being" wif someone out of habit, out of familarity. U have to ask urself, do u love her enough to endure her bad points. No one is ideal. Really u should tok to her about ur feelings about her character. Y she dun trust u? have u done something before or lie to her before....if not, ask her wat is her basis for being paranoid?
However, if u feel breaking up is a better solution or period to cool off would be better, both of u should be prepared to be firm about it. I realli admire ur respect for the other gal in ur office though. Good thing u're not those to play wif her feelings.....
take care & I believe u will make the wise choice! -
Hm.. nice owrks... may i ask how old are you?Originally posted by Iceangel:
just wondering....since you guys are not married (rite?), shouldn't there be no obligation?
U already know what to do so do it. I feel that if u can fall in love wif sumone else, or even have special feelings for sumone else, tat means ur love wif ur current gf is not that strong or perhaps not there anymore. Like a case of "being" wif someone out of habit, out of familarity. U have to ask urself, do u love her enough to endure her bad points. No one is ideal. Really u should tok to her about ur feelings about her character. Y she dun trust u? have u done something before or lie to her before....if not, ask her wat is her basis for being paranoid?
However, if u feel breaking up is a better solution or period to cool off would be better, both of u should be prepared to be firm about it. I realli admire ur respect for the other gal in ur office though. Good thing u're not those to play wif her feelings.....
take care & I believe u will make the wise choice!