Workplace abuse/harrassment
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I am a part-time student and right now, i'm trying my best to concentrate on my studies (dec is my exams) but I can't because something about my part-time job is bothering me.
I worked at this F&B place for a few months and when I first came to this job, I had just completed my exams and I had a lot of things on my mind regarding about results and the school.
The first day I was 'scolded' by this china colleague but I chose to ignore him because I was very anti-social, anxious and afraid of people. I was literally trembling because I judged people by their appearance like I always do, so if they appear somewhat fierce or b*itchy/bastardy or confident, I would start to get really anxious and could not take in instructions properly. In short, I was inside my own world.
Then there was this girl who was younger than me by a few years 'calmed' me down by saying nice things about me. I thought she was being friendly to me at first but subsequently, I started to realised something is wrong when I was stuck doing only a particular station inside the kitchen whereas her and another two young colleagues was moving ard a lot, from the counter to the kitchen. I admitted that I was rude to her too but that's because i didn't know what the hell is happening.
I was always getting scolded and being called 'slow' because I was just doing what i was supposed to do, like doing my own work and I don't understand why they were picking on me when I was told it was supposed to be like this and I just did but they just kept picking or shouting at me. Of course, consumed with confusion, I shouted at one of this china colleague, let's call him A, who kept screaming at me and banging the counter outside when I was serving the out the food. The other china colleague B, was scolding and picking on me in whatever I do. The assistant manager, a filipino was also picking on me if she was ever on my shift. I swear the food I serve was what they told me to do.
I was also getting insulted, especially by this china colleague called A whenever I ask questions. I admitted that sometimes I was too pushy. Ok fine. But there was one time, he stared at me right inside my eyes and I was staring back at him and I was thinking ' are you alright?' He was holding an empty paper sack and then he started to tremble vigorously, looked down and tore the paper into half and started mumbling about how he would steal the virginity of the girls by doing what he did. I was standing there shell-shocked, completely insulted by his actions. Obviously I didn't tell anyone.
So a few months passed and I didn't dare talked to this guy...finally I was sent outside the dining area, did well and got up to the cashier the next day. Anyways I was stucked doing outside work for a while but subsequently, I started to do things outside what a normal part-timer should not do which I wld not divulge it here. This continued for quite a while and I even got irritated when someone is standing somewhere doing nothing but I realised that they were doing things right whereas I was abit too 'hardworking'.
So this china guy A. He always looked calmed the next day despite what happened yesterday or whatever. But he was always trembling (literally) with anger in front of me, talked about how other people are stupid like he was going to spit venom on them or else he would purposely threw things on the floor and screamed and shouted at me (like he's going to beat me up) if I didn't pick it up or else he would do the wrong things and push everything to me. I once overheard him talking bad abt me, saying 'tamade, she's not a mei nu' And if someone who knew the dynamics of the workplace vented their anger on him, he would take it out on me by indirectly insulting my gender to other colleague. And anything not done by those people, I would have to take the shit (obviously) and sadly, the screaming..if ever i was working with him. He would bang doors, insult my gender and nationality if ever I asked a questions regarding about the workplace.
In short, because I didn't know what happend and couldn't ask, I was just literally taking in the abuse quietly because I didn't know what was happening. And he even insulted me saying that everyone knows except you and even smirk telling me how on this particular shift how abt how this colleague work like a nu ren (girl) and how this other full-timer colleague doesn't seem to do anything at all. Then I asked him i'm pretty sure you talked bad abt me. He lied and said no and said I was sooo good with sarcasm of course and then I asked him abt something he started to insult my gender again.
I went back home, exhausted from my shift and upset abt all the insults he have given me just now and in the past and locked myself up for two days in the room and lose 7kg in total. I was laughing like a mad dog in my room and I thought of suicide.
This time I already knew how the dynamics of the workplace is going on by looking at my pay slip, I mean I am just a part-timer, why was I doing do many things on my own doing? But no one is telling me anything though there was some part-timers and this asst. manager giving me hints here and there. Then I finally caught on and did things 'rightly' on my 'last' day.(I told them i wanted to resign but i told them no the next day, that is my 'last shift')
I was relieved but yet tramautised at how these people treated me just because I didn't know the dynamics of the workplace. They insulted my gender, insulted me personally (calling me fat and constantly remind me by repeating it) , telling me that i'm soo good sarcastically, telling me that i'm childish, stupid, laugh at me and all sorts personal insults. And I took in all these abuse for a pay of $5 per hour and I then I realised there's no pay increase if the performance is good because i'm only a part-timer. Then why do I have to bother with the dynamics of the work place for????
So I went crazy yesterday and called up all the colleagues to purposely ask for the details of my pay and obviously because i was soo consumed with anger i literally smelt like gas, I was pushing them to tell me and obviously if someone with a pushy attitude or whatever they don't like would tell me all the wrong things and some told me the right things and I stabbed the person with the wrong details in the back. I just insulted them by calling up the main manager in charge over there. Then he told me to look for him but I hung up soon after.
Tell me, what should I do??? I nearly died because of the abuse taken here.
Anyone who has report workplace harrassment to the police?
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omfg.
WALL OF TEXT WARNING.
All i saw was ah tiongs ah tiongs and the odd pinoy in between.
Ok seriously i read through the whole thing. And what kind of harrassment took place? at any point in time did you feel insulted of in fear of getting hurt? Nothing is stopping you from making a report.
Erm, it seems like your whole work place is against you, and let me get this straight, you actually contemplated suicide and lost weight over this issue? Whats stopping you from leaving and getting another job? Its just a part time job, so difficult to find meh??
You shld take a good look at yourself also. If you still feel that you are not at fault, then are you trying to say everyone there is bias against you? it takes two hands to clap.
EIther way, you need help. You also need to take a massive dose of chill pills. Your life isnt fucked so dont go fucking up your own life for no reason. wth.
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Hi XBB,
1) Since u already resign, let it go lah, treat it as a bad experience working in the resturant.
2) Concentrate on your exam (dec) and get good results.
3) No point getting back on them if you already resign.
4) You may distrub them if you want to, invite a few friends (those very daring type) and go there for lunch/dinner during peak hour. And ask for unresaonable/demand things and create a din on the china man. Hey, china man really fark up!
5) Lastly, move on, you have lots of bright future ahead of you.
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Honestly speaking, I don't mind getting taught a lesson for my attitude or my working style. But from my 'story', I was being insulted personally (not regarding abt my job), this is where it cross the boundaries.
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You have already resign right?
Why still hang on to the bad experience?
Better channel your energy to your exam and get good results.
Remember, not all companies are like that.
One day, you will find a companies that is thousand times better than your part time job.
Have faith on yourself girl.
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quit this job for another. if the same thing happens at the new workplace then take a good look at yourself. you are probably very young. so you still have a long way to go. try to take things easy.
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I am 23 years old and I don't have friends. Maybe that's why I got attitude problem, anti-social and don't know how to get along with people.
Some people just have different upbringing and background :(
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Originally posted by XiaoBunbun:
I am 23 years old and I don't have friends. Maybe that's why I got attitude problem, anti-social and don't know how to get along with people.
Some people just have different upbringing and background :(
if thats the case you have to do something to 'correct' yourself. you have to work to survive. and to work you need to interact with people. forget about whats happening at your current workplace and move on. its only a part-time job. dont borrow trouble. you will have enough to handle when you join the workforce full-time. -
Previously, I quitted many jobs because I couldn't take it seriously to stay in a job or else colleagues don't like me at first sight or I can't get along with them.
So when I started school, I told myself to stay at a job and also my parents are hounding me plus my resume is so crappy. I bite my tongue and stayed despite getting abused, make fun of and me doing all sorts of stupid things too.
I worked with people younger than me yet they are so sociable, know how to follow instructions, know what's social norms...honestly speaking, I envy them...I really don't know how...I don't have friends or anything...I can only chat on the internet...
I struggle with human relations the most.
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Originally posted by XiaoBunbun:
Previously, I quitted many jobs because I couldn't take it seriously to stay in a job or else colleagues don't like me at first sight or I can't get along with them.
So when I started school, I told myself to stay at a job and also my parents are hounding me plus my resume is so crappy. I bite my tongue and stayed despite getting abused, make fun of and me doing all sorts of stupid things too.
I worked with people younger than me yet they are so sociable, know how to follow instructions, know what's social norms...honestly speaking, I envy them...I really don't know how...I don't have friends or anything...I can only chat on the internet...
I struggle with human relations the most.
have you considered seeing a doctor? -
Yeah, previously I went to IMH and was diagnosed as social anxiety and OCPD.
But then why talk about this? I am talking about harrassment here!!
Can't believe you people also chose to ignore.
I mean, I personally felt that it crosses the boundaries because first of all, He is just a normal full-timer and have no right to 'teach' me a lesson or vent his harrassment on me.
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Originally posted by dragg:
have you considered seeing a doctor?I agreed with dragg. I apologise if this seem offensive, but you may want to consider seeing a psychiatrist. You may not realise it, but these incidents have likely did its numbers on you.
Unlike what other people say, seeing a psychiatrist does not mean you are crazy, it just mean that you care about your own mental health. You are likely suffering from depression from what I can read here.
Now that everything is in the past, just heck care about it and focus on your studies. Get good grades, go for higher studies, and get a good full-time job. And here, have some chocolates:
It has been scientifically proven that these sweet treats can really help to uplift your mood. Just don't binge on them.
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hello xiaobun,
(don't know your age, i'll list my pay here for you to compare)
when i was 14-16, i worked part time at a fast food restaurant for $3.50/h (started with $2.50)
after my Os, while waiting for poly, my pay at a restaurant was $5/h
during poly, working banquets & a waiter at pub/clubs was around $6-7.50, sometimes more with tips
don't care too much about pr at workplace, just care about the money. if you find the pay acceptable: ignore everyone, do your job, get paid and go home a happy man. doesn't matter if you work more or less than the others, doesn't matter if you're best buds or sworn enemies with your colleagues, at the end of the day it doesn't affect your pay anyway, and you're just there for the money.
(if the pay sucks, just quit and find another job. or hang around at home)
for the abuse, just keep telling yourself you're there for the money, and such abuse will train your character when you venture out for a full time job in the future.
off topic: you used to play fiesta? with the same name?
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Originally posted by XiaoBunbun:
Yeah, previously I went to IMH and was diagnosed as social anxiety and OCPD.
But then why talk about this? I am talking about harrassment here!!
Can't believe you people also chose to ignore.
I mean, I personally felt that it crosses the boundaries because first of all, He is just a normal full-timer and have no right to 'teach' me a lesson or vent his harrassment on me.
My previous post was done before seeing this post of yours.
I believe it is not that the forummers choose to ignore, it is just that there is nothing you can really do about it. If you choose to bring a case against them, they can stand up for each other and easily overturn what you have to say. More importantly, they can counter-sue you for defamation and your IMH records will definitely work against you.
To put it bluntly, it is a sure-lose case. If you seek police for help, there is nothing that they could do as well, since you have no evidence or alibi, and they can easily be alibi for each other.
That is why the best course of action is still to garbage your memories there and toss it into the bin, and focus on what you can do instead: work on your examinations. It is pointless to dwell on things which you cannot do anything about, though I sympathies with you for what you have gone through.
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Thanks...but should I tell my manager about it or what? But I havent sign in the resignation form.
Erms, should I tell the manager like what did this china colleague do to me previously or what? and because of it i am still affected by it??
Should I?
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sigh, leave the job lah. alot of fast food resturant is hiring
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Originally posted by XiaoBunbun:
Thanks...but should I tell my manager about it or what? But I havent sign in the resignation form.
Erms, should I tell the manager like what did this china colleague do to me previously or what? and because of it i am still affected by it??
Should I?
what do you think your manager would do to satisfy a part-timer? this is the real world we are talking about. there are injustices everywhere. you have to learn to prioritise. is it so important to 争一�气? tender and move on. you have a long way to go in life. it is important to stand up for yourself but only if it is really necessary. you are a part-timer and those colleagues of yours are just 'passerbys' in your life. once you quit they are out of it. -
move on. got take up some courses. seek for help if you cannot afford. apparently servic eline is not for you not for everyone. not saying that if you are ins efvice line you are the best. most can promote to wha? captain only . how then;s the pay? pinoys, ah tiongs, floo traps everywhere. even some of them strangers you see on the streets also act like howlain they very smart. move on move on. forget about this one.
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xiaobunbun,
Dun go to a psychiatrist, you need this more:
http://www.maum.org/eng/meditation/benefits_01.asp
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First you are anti social and you dont talk much how are you going to have a work things out with your colleagues or even friends if you have any?
What I can conclude is that TS isn't even an easy person to get along with,hence the workplace bullying. Get a new job to start anew and also change your character or else you will continue to get bullied even in your new workplace. After reading what you posted,I definitely DO NOT WANT to be your colleague.
Just resign and save your self from all those nonsense. When you FINALLY WAKE UP FROM YOUR WONDERLAND and decide to get a job to start anew my first recommandation is CHANGE YOUR CHARACTER if you wish to get along with your colleague or people.
Sorry for been harsh but you have to face the fact, this is how the working world works.
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I can't stand PRC people in the workplace, just like you, they think they own this farking land called Singapore. Its one of the reasons I quit my last job, but its alright, coz I'm making 3 times more where I am now, and PRC people here is unheard of.
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To Hanagata,
I suggest you read my title and get the main point before going on ranting out on your own.
To ditzy,
The foreigners here also love to win but because as part-timers, we are not suppose to talk against them. And as part-timers, our pay is standardised so we are only supposed to do what we are suppose to do and not out of our scope. They love to talk bad about singaporeans and everything.
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Originally posted by Hanagata:
First you are anti social and you dont talk much how are you going to have a work things out with your colleagues or even friends if you have any?
What I can conclude is that TS isn't even an easy person to get along with,hence the workplace bullying. Get a new job to start anew and also change your character or else you will continue to get bullied even in your new workplace. After reading what you posted,I definitely DO NOT WANT to be your colleague.
Just resign and save your self from all those nonsense. When you FINALLY WAKE UP FROM YOUR WONDERLAND and decide to get a job to start anew my first recommandation is CHANGE YOUR CHARACTER if you wish to get along with your colleague or people.
Sorry for been harsh but you have to face the fact, this is how the working world works.
really depends on the environment. some environmentyou see teh people is real fuck up ones. ts mentioned this one is definitely very nad, in fact you gor waitering service everywhere is the same that;s why i say service line is not for TS. youcannotchange a person;s character and there is nothing wrong if TS is quieter type. although i will say some of TS actions may require some thought over. the problem is all those foreign workers. when you allow them tomultiply in numbers they take their strenght or new found authorithy and use it on locals. people with high EQ qillalso know that people character varies. you come from a ulu kumpong country jus because you have many similar bahliats that does/nt mean you can change the local's chareacter or attitude. work is still work and making friends or getting too coonfty with colleagues is not a compulsary acttion.
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Ts, no point going to complain to your manager about that china man. Move on and dont look back. Think what need to change on yourself, I mean, be more open, smile to pple, have small chat, say good morning and good nite...those small thing can help you to get alone well with your future colleagues.
Treat that as your learning experience.
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Originally posted by ditzy:
I can't stand PRC people in the workplace, just like you, they think they own this farking land called Singapore. Its one of the reasons I quit my last job, but its alright, coz I'm making 3 times more where I am now, and PRC people here is unheard of.
ever encouner those who knows you live near their area? all teh conversation they struck up with you they will start wth "err where you live arh?". then give you that salesman smiling face, in the army i straight away tell him - cheepie cut that fucking smile from the face!'.then those baliah malaysian "er how much you earn per month arh?"
Pinoy s''fucktrees i work in fucktrees."
I stll have problem getting the sex right for TThais, always in doubts
Indons - really they are primates
anymore i missed?