I feel so abnormal...
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I feel abnormal when it comes to friendship. I have a few girl friends but i'm not really close with them. 1 of them i knew her since sec school , as she is busy with her school stuffs right now we are hardly in contact also. I don't know whether is it a curse or what. Ever since i completed sec and ite and eventually working now , i still don't have any girl friends that are close to me. My ex even said that why am i so pathetic without any friends. I just keep quiet i don't know what to reply him also. Instead of having close girl friends , i'm having a lot of guy friends. There are times whereby I'm really alone I'll get emotional over this. I envy all those girls. They got their own group of friends. I feel so lost. ): The problems i have at home is very complicated and messy also. Sigh. Seeing everyone move on and I'm stucked at the same place. Can someone please teach me what to do ? My character is not bad , I'm okay with everybody. I'm quite peaceful also. That is why it puzzles me more whereby how come i don't have any girl friends. I think i should pray to god for something better to happen in my life.
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have friend better than no friend. be it male or female after all still friend.as long a friend in need is a friend indeed can liao.wonder why your bf even say that 2 u. lol. good character/peaceful or whatever good points you got doesn't mean you will have lots of friend. lol.
every house got their own problem. so start solving them. then plan see what you wan down 5 years, then start planning.
just my thoughts ;)
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Haven't you heard that you can feel lonely even when you're in a crowd? Quantity does not equal quality. From my experience, the more people there are in your clique, the weaker your bonds/ties with each other.
It's not easy to find really good friends. Those girly cliques u see are probably made up of ppl who have no real interest in each other. It's great tt you have some good friends....no need to care about the gender.
But if you still wanna make frens with other gals den shld be easy ma? Just join some girly club or watever la? And hor, it's easy to make frens with gals...hard to stay frens with them lol
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if you want i can be your gal firnd. dressing up in a miniskirt and tank top go out with you no problem for me.
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It's okay to have guy friends. It doesn't really matters. My girlfriend have got more male friends than female friends. Just need to make sure that you are having fun with your friends will do.
But just a warning, watch what you wear and make sure these guys do not drug your drink or food while going out with them. AND MAKE SURE YOU ARE NOT DRUNK! because antrhing can happen. Guys... as you know,
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I dont think it is a real problem ts is facing now.
In fact, many pple like ts are having this problem, no friends, no one likes me, on one loves me, family upside down.....it is common.
More friends more headache, less friends better, less headache.
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Don't bother too much about friendship. Next time when you get married, you will have no time for friends, sometimes don't even have time for relatives. Parents and siblings are your permanent and long time friends. Other than them, the rest are all temporary. So, don't bother and don't think too much.
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Originally posted by evolutiondiva:
I feel abnormal when it comes to friendship. I have a few girl friends but i’m not really close with them. 1 of them i knew her since sec school , as she is busy with her school stuffs right now we are hardly in contact also. I don’t know whether is it a curse or what. Ever since i completed sec and ite and eventually working now , i still don’t have any girl friends that are close to me. My ex even said that why am i so pathetic without any friends. I just keep quiet i don’t know what to reply him also.
Instead of having close girl friends , i’m having a lot of guy friends. There are times whereby I’m really alone I’ll get emotional over this. I envy all those girls. They got their own group of friends. I feel so lost. ):
The problems i have at home is very complicated and messy also. Sigh. Seeing everyone move on and I’m stucked at the same place. Can someone please teach me what to do ?
My character is not bad , I’m okay with everybody. I’m quite peaceful also. That is why it puzzles me more whereby how come i don’t have any girl friends.
I think i should pray to god for something better to happen in my life.
haizz ar it's easy to be friends with anyone but hard to find true friends that really care n concern about your well-being n is someone you can share your thoughts, feelings and experiences with. And will be there for you when you need help or when you need someone there.
If u really do want to meet with some nice female friend do join us @ http://single.sgforums.com/
I can intro my jie jie to you, she is very nice de
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Hmm . . .. labor can outsoure. maybe friend can look for foreign talentts too
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Originally posted by troublemaker2005:
Hmm . . .. labor can outsoure. maybe friend can look for foreign talentts too
wow like that also can
joker xia really made me laugh out loud, that a gd one
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Originally posted by evolutiondiva:
I feel abnormal when it comes to friendship. I have a few girl friends but i’m not really close with them. 1 of them i knew her since sec school , as she is busy with her school stuffs right now we are hardly in contact also. I don’t know whether is it a curse or what. Ever since i completed sec and ite and eventually working now , i still don’t have any girl friends that are close to me. My ex even said that why am i so pathetic without any friends. I just keep quiet i don’t know what to reply him also.
Instead of having close girl friends , i’m having a lot of guy friends. There are times whereby I’m really alone I’ll get emotional over this. I envy all those girls. They got their own group of friends. I feel so lost. ):
The problems i have at home is very complicated and messy also. Sigh. Seeing everyone move on and I’m stucked at the same place. Can someone please teach me what to do ?
My character is not bad , I’m okay with everybody. I’m quite peaceful also. That is why it puzzles me more whereby how come i don’t have any girl friends.
I think i should pray to god for something better to happen in my life.
Now that you finished your studies, it will be significantly harder to find good and true female friends. Have you considered furthering your studies? You can take the chance to socialise with other girls at the same time.
Finding good friends in the workplace is a very difficult thing, especially when you work in places where there is competition everywhere.
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I don't need to have a lot of female friends. What i mean is that i want to have 3 close female friends and that is enough.I do have a few female friends which i mention in my first post. 1 is busy with studies, the other 2 is now pregnant. I can't meet them much also. I really do feel inferior when i see girls hang out in groups and they are happily shopping and chit chatting away. I don't even have a friend that is close enough for me to share my thoughts and inner feelings. Right now , the situation in my house is complicated and messy. As for my sister , she's married with 2 kids. Unfortunately , she's married to the wrong guy. Her husband abused her twice. 1st time he slapped , strangle and kick my sis. The 2nd time round , she punch my sis. Causing her lips to bleed and swell as well as bruises on her chin. I told her to apply for ppo from the authority. Yet she refuse. Simply because she needs him financially to support the 2 kids. She told me before that she wanted to shift back to our home and just leave her husband , but she knows that we don't have enough space for her and 2 kids. I live in 3 room flat. In my house there's currently me , 3 of my aunt and 1 nephew. 2 of my cousins will be shifting in with us soon because they sold off their house due to their mom owing loan shark more than 30k. Whereas for my parents , I'm kind of worried for them . Their savings is depleting soon and simply my brother is useless. Why do i say that ? He is 25 this year. My parents invested more than 20k for his kaplan degree. I guess he have totally no idea how my parents manage to raise his school fees. Come to think of it I'm quite angry with him. They pawn their valuables for his studies. He graduated last year Jan. Slack till October , went to work in resort world sentosa's casino. Sign 1 year bond with them. Work for 9 months , break bond and pay them 8k. When he is working in the casino , his pay is $1.8k + bonus. He only gave my mum $300. Considered quite little and yet he still got the cheek to bargain with my mom asking whether he can give her $270 !!! The $300 is for my mum to pay the utility , his hp and internet bills. Not even enough for my parents to spend. His gf staying with him , 24/7 switching on the air con. She's really exaggerating because even when she's down with flu or fever she still can switch on the air con ! The utility bill alone already cost $200 + . What about his hp and internet bills ? Shortly after he quit , he went to join his gf in prudential. His gf got problems with colleagues and end up quitting and he follow. The reason he gave my parents is " too stress cannot cope " My brother is totally childish. My parents kinda spoilt him. I told my parents , " isn't it ridiculous when kor said that its too stress and he quits ? " They said , " aiyah , really very stress mah. not easy. " In my mind i was thinking , since when earning money is easy ? What makes me feel angst is when I'm discussing my study plans with them. I wanted to further my studies yet I don't really know whether am i able to get into local poly. My parents told me if i don't get into the local poly , they are not able to pay for my private school fees. I told them its not fair at all ! They said , " we invest in kor , next time he will earn a lot of money to give us and feed us . Will you ? " Does it means that having a son is better than a daughter ? I don't think so at all. For my parents , they are selling kueh in my relative shop. They make 120 kuehs each day and sell to my relative at $0.30 each. If you really go and calculate the amount , they are not even earning at all. Ingredients like , tapioca flour, mushroom , black fungus , dried shrimps , pepper , salt , sugar and turnips. My mom told me the price of the ingredients have gone up again. Money is the root to all problems. )= Do give me advise and comments alright ? Greatly and deeply appreciate.
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1 more thing to add on , my sis husband is a clean freak ! 1 day alone my sister can wash both her hands and legs for more than 10 times.FYI, my sis show me her leg before it can be really dry to the extend that it cracks and bleed. There was once my sister was sleeping it was like wee hours and he wakes my sis up because my sis forgot to clean the stove. He don't allow my sis to sleep unless she cleans up the whole kitchen ! His husband abuse maid before. Sentence to jail last year and was release this year June on tag because of good character and officially free from jail in August. I can really feel that he is torturing my sister . Be it physically or mentally. My sis even told me something like , " One day when i gone mad , i might just take a knife and stab him to death and i will jump to death myself. " I really wanted to help my sister ! ): Please provide me solutions. thanks.
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Originally posted by evolutiondiva:
I don’t need to have a lot of female friends. What i mean is that i want to have 3 close female friends and that is enough.I do have a few female friends which i mention in my first post.
1 is busy with studies, the other 2 is now pregnant. I can’t meet them much also.I really do feel inferior when i see girls hang out in groups and they are happily shopping and chit chatting away. I don’t even have a friend that is close enough for me to share my thoughts and inner feelings.
Right now , the situation in my house is complicated and messy.
As for my sister , she’s married with 2 kids. Unfortunately , she’s married to the wrong guy. Her husband abused her twice. 1st time he slapped , strangle and kick my sis. The 2nd time round , she punch my sis. Causing her lips to bleed and swell as well as bruises on her chin.
I told her to apply for ppo from the authority. Yet she refuse. Simply because she needs him financially to support the 2 kids.
She told me before that she wanted to shift back to our home and just leave her husband , but she knows that we don’t have enough space for her and 2 kids.
I live in 3 room flat. In my house there’s currently me , 3 of my aunt and 1 nephew. 2 of my cousins will be shifting in with us soon because they sold off their house due to their mom owing loan shark more than 30k.Whereas for my parents , I’m kind of worried for them . Their savings is depleting soon and simply my brother is useless. Why do i say that ? He is 25 this year. My parents invested more than 20k for his kaplan degree. I guess he have totally no idea how my parents manage to raise his school fees.
Come to think of it I’m quite angry with him. They pawn their valuables for his studies. He graduated last year Jan. Slack till October , went to work in resort world sentosa’s casino. Sign 1 year bond with them. Work for 9 months , break bond and pay them 8k.
When he is working in the casino , his pay is $1.8k + bonus. He only gave my mum $300. Considered quite little and yet he still got the cheek to bargain with my mom asking whether he can give her $270 !!!
The $300 is for my mum to pay the utility , his hp and internet bills. Not even enough for my parents to spend. His gf staying with him , 24/7 switching on the air con. She’s really exaggerating because even when she’s down with flu or fever she still can switch on the air con !
The utility bill alone already cost $200 + . What about his hp and internet bills ? Shortly after he quit , he went to join his gf in prudential. His gf got problems with colleagues and end up quitting and he follow.
The reason he gave my parents is ” too stress cannot cope ” My brother is totally childish. My parents kinda spoilt him. I told my parents , ” isn’t it ridiculous when kor said that its too stress and he quits ? ”
They said , ” aiyah , really very stress mah. not easy. ” In my mind i was thinking , since when earning money is easy ?What makes me feel angst is when I’m discussing my study plans with them. I wanted to further my studies yet I don’t really know whether am i able to get into local poly. My parents told me if i don’t get into the local poly , they are not able to pay for my private school fees.
I told them its not fair at all ! They said , ” we invest in kor , next time he will earn a lot of money to give us and feed us . Will you ? ” Does it means that having a son is better than a daughter ? I don’t think so at all.
For my parents , they are selling kueh in my relative shop. They make 120 kuehs each day and sell to my relative at $0.30 each. If you really go and calculate the amount , they are not even earning at all. Ingredients like , tapioca flour, mushroom , black fungus , dried shrimps , pepper , salt , sugar and turnips. My mom told me the price of the ingredients have gone up again.Money is the root to all problems. )= Do give me advise and comments alright ? Greatly and deeply appreciate.
Well i think, keep yourself busy. As for friends, close friends, dont need so much, just a few will do. Share common interest, hang out together to chill. Perhaps you can try to further your studies into a poly/retaking your o levels. Really. study is very important. Find some friends there for a start or from your workplace. Gives you the confidence also when facing other people. Important is the word. Dont take private, retaking your o levels will do.
For sis, i think she needs to see the light herself. Keep advicing her to seek help from this abusive husband. Your parents know about this ? Did they advice your sis also ? Family overcrowding problems... Why is your aunt staying with you ? Out of goodwill ? Perhaps you can tell your parents, their daughter(your sis) and their grandchild comes first before them and ask them to move back ?
Seems like your parents are the very old fashion type. I dont believe in boys>girls shit theory. I hope you dont too. Neither do i believe in girls<boys. Its hard to change their thinking i guess. Then you need to take charge of your life. And the first step will be from studies.
Lastly. Bring your sis to see a counsellor. Those family counsellor. Step one is to persuade her to there.
http://app.customerfeedback.mcys.gov.sg/mcys_faqmain.asp?strItemChoice=2004104123228&action=SHOWTOPICS&strSubItemChoice=2004129225829&m_strTopicSysID=2004129225927
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My niece is admitted to the hospital last week due to diarrhoea , vomit , flu , cough and fever. My mum went to the hospital the 2nd day and saw my sis face. She asked my sister how come her face like that she lied to my mum that she fell down. After that I told my mom the truth. My mom said that she wants to wait for the 3rd time to strike before she do anything. I told her , isn't it too late by then ? I don't wanna see tragedy happen. I don't stay with parents. I live in the same block as them but different storey. My sister now is leading a very unhealthy life. She now loves to eat deep fried , oily , sweet and salty food. She's trying to shorten her life. I told her its not worth it . Why make yourself so miserable because of a bastard ? I told her , marrying him is a mistake right from the start. My aunties stays with me all along. Before that I still have a grandma(father side ) living with me. She had pass away since 2006. If my brother work hard enough( he works in prudential as a financial consultant ) , he's able to earn more money and thus able to help my parents and my sister. Considering the situation now , I wanted to take part time dip and a full time job. So that I can give my parents some $$ also. I flunk my O's quite badly. ): O level subjects seems very scary to me. I retake once. And flunk again. I don't have the courage to take again. I'm like hanging in the air. )= very bad. Sigh. Feels vex and sucky.
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Re-taking is the best and cheapest and most secure. Need discipline if you want to do it. Lots of discipline if you want to work as well. Nothing is easy. The first step is always hard but not impossible. After that, getting into poly then uni will be the next step. Friends will be easier to find. Future will be clearer as well. You will also have confidence.
Bring your sis for counselling. She needs help. Ask from those hospitals for counselling help. Do it for the sake of her children
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perhaps for your case i would suggest walk step by step. no point planning into e future when your life seems rather unpredictable.
since you are not e study type perhaps you should jus look for a job and work first. not that i m discouraging your from studying. but you see you yourself dont really have e confidence to take 'o' level, what makes you think u can move on towards dip? perhaps settle down first, then really consider your education along with your future.
As for your sister, jus assist as much as you can. not much things you can do when she is reluctant to take actions against him.
your brother wise, is good for nth. lols.
just my thoughts.
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Just keep on trying to study and take O levels again lor.
If your brother is still so slack, just ask you mom to throw the internet, air-conditioning and hp bills back to himself to settle. (Proof that only his gf using; by passing all the other air con controller back to the room ur brother and his gf share) This way, both your brother and his gf can wake up their bloo** idea.
Next, talk to your mom nicely, in a way to communicate and make your intentions and views know to her, not directly face to face, sit side by side, it reduce the natural body instinctive rejection (as a defensive posture), than calculate the mathematic out in front of your mom, get her to be aware and face the reality.
As for your sister who's hospitalized, you just go walk into a police-post, ask for advice and first, before considering if you want to report your sis's husband yourself. (weigh the odds lah, while husband may end up not paying money, but its better than talk peanuts of money, having to spend more money on hosptialization which eats up the tiny amount her husband gives to begin which.
For the 2 kids, apply for low income family help, get bursary, financial assistance accordingly. Find different social welfare groups, they will do sure help de la.
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my niece is hospitalize. Not my sister. If she's the one the is hospitalize , I won't let her husband off so lightly. And voltrons , i totally agree with you. My brother is good for nothing. 25 years old and his mind set is as worse as a 14 year old kid. He loves to slack dislike working and cannot even take little hardship. My parents don't dare to stress him too much because there's once he cried and keep saying he is useless why can't get a proper decent job after he graduated and have even the thoughts of committing suicide. To me , he is just dumb. Refuse to face the reality and accept the fact that he is working adult. I don't know why the hell he get into prudential in the 1st place because his own financial planning sucks like hell. I think I need to ask my sister to get help and counseling from MCYS. I read thru and I'm gonna talk some sense into my sis tomorrow. If I'm gonna retake O's I need to wait till next year ? By the time i graduate or finish Uni , I'll be very old. )= As for voltrons , I can study if i want to. I used to be a GPA 4 ( max gpa) student in ITE. There's nothing impossible is whether U want it or not. If there's a will there's a way. As for TTFU , i totally agree with u. Yet she keep telling me she's enduring for her kids. It's because she doesn't want her kids to have unhappy childhood and grown up in a broken family. And what really stuns me is her youngest daughter age 2 , already know how to scold ccb , knn all that because of who ? Her husband. Her husband is just like demon. Everytime only wanna quarrel with her. He sucks seriously. He's a ex jail bird and now there's a company that hires him and gives him a pay for $2.5k per month and he told my sis he wanted to quit because the working environment not nice. My sis is only earning $1.8k per month , how is it possible to feed 4 people and pay all the bills ? FYI , her husband owes his parents 60k because of the law suit. Dumb to the max. My sis now still needs to slowly help him return. Seeing my sister in this plight , I got phobia of getting married. Sigh ~ Count myself lucky that I'm single now.
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what do you plan to study after you retake your o levels?
if you just want to get an 'average' degree and become an 'average' working person - i recommend you postpone your studies and start working first. just look at your brother, nowadays degree doesn't guarantee income or even a job.
unless you have a specific skill you're good at, preferably in finance or accounting, then by all means go for it. otherwise, assuming you need to pay $20k for a degree like your bro, it'll take you maybe 10+ years to earn it all back
meanwhile, start working. if money's your concern, i recommend sales or agency related jobs - you can get $2k+ if you work hard even without a degree. of course there are drawbacks like working on weekends, attitude problems with customers etc, but you'll get used to it.
after a few years, once you have some decent savings, maybe you can try getting a part time diploma or degree. don't stop working though, because you need the experience as well. going to a job interview with a 5 year experience on the resume pays a lot more than the average graduate - even if you had to retake your o levels!
(sources to all the information above: my sister. she stopped studying at sec 2 and did all sorts of shit (read: ex ah lian) but now doing pretty well and even earns more than me on some months, depending on her commission. she also got a diploma and alot of dunno what certs, all obtained part time. i dont think she re-took her olevels, but i can check if you want)
as for female friends.... try not to over-dress when you meet up with them. i heard (in my poly days, not sure about now) girls generally hate to go out with those gorgeous types (heavy makeup, eye-catchy golden hair, miniskirts etc) because they steal all the attention away. imagine going to a party in a group, and all the guys are only hitting on that one girl!
that will also explains why you're having lots of guy friends. lol.
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I'm not gorgeous >.< My dressing although a bit ah lian at times , yet I'm not ah lian. I don't speak vulgar I don't swear or curse. My make ups are normal. I don't really put on heavy make up. I thought if working too much will get drift away from studying ? Than u won't really have the mood to study any more ? That's what is happening to my cousins.They took up mass com in MDIS than after that they went to work. So , they subsequently didn't go for classes and wasted their money. -.-x
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Originally posted by evolutiondiva:
I feel abnormal when it comes to friendship. I have a few girl friends but i’m not really close with them. 1 of them i knew her since sec school , as she is busy with her school stuffs right now we are hardly in contact also. I don’t know whether is it a curse or what. Ever since i completed sec and ite and eventually working now , i still don’t have any girl friends that are close to me. My ex even said that why am i so pathetic without any friends. I just keep quiet i don’t know what to reply him also.
Instead of having close girl friends , i’m having a lot of guy friends. There are times whereby I’m really alone I’ll get emotional over this. I envy all those girls. They got their own group of friends. I feel so lost. ):
The problems i have at home is very complicated and messy also. Sigh. Seeing everyone move on and I’m stucked at the same place. Can someone please teach me what to do ?
My character is not bad , I’m okay with everybody. I’m quite peaceful also. That is why it puzzles me more whereby how come i don’t have any girl friends.
I think i should pray to god for something better to happen in my life.
You only need ONE GOOD GIRL FRIEND and MANY GUY FRIENDS and you will do good in your life. -
Originally posted by evolutiondiva:
I’m not gorgeous >.< My dressing although a bit ah lian at times , yet I’m not ah lian. I don’t speak vulgar I don’t swear or curse. My make ups are normal. I don’t really put on heavy make up. I thought if working too much will get drift away from studying ? Than u won’t really have the mood to study any more ? That’s what is happening to my cousins.They took up mass com in MDIS than after that they went to work. So , they subsequently didn’t go for classes and wasted their money. -.-x
I don't understand this part where you claimed you allowed your dressing to go down to ah lian standard and insisted you're not ah lian?How would you know that if you're not a GUY???
Did I just SEXPOSED you?
Let us know if you're a guy and you just want to know how to have more girl friends or have a close friend who is a girl.
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Originally posted by evolutiondiva:
They took up mass com in MDIS than after that they went to work. So , they subsequently didn’t go for classes and wasted their money. -.-x
studying part time while working is tough
those who have tried and found it too tough would naturally give all sorts of excuses, no mood / too stressful / no time to study etc
but almost my entire class were working full time back then, myself included
if you don't have the luxury of having someone pay for your studies, there's only the rough way out
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Originally posted by parn:
I don't understand this part where you claimed you allowed your dressing to go down to ah lian standard and insisted you're not ah lian?most girls i've seen are delusional / confusing like that