I've been with my current girlfriend for a while now, we are in the stage of planning to move on to the next chapter and live our lives together. However, I only know recently that her parents is forcing her to end our relationships since the 1st day i met them as they do not likes me without any particular reason. I don't know where went wrong as I've treated her parents with the upmost respect when i see them. And for the sake of my girlfriend, I've given up the vices that I picked up during my younger days (smoking, drinking and clubbing). I also earned a decent salary of more then 5k though I'm only in my late 20s.
Her parents even went to the extend that if she chose to marry me, they would try their best to stand in our way. I've tried to find out te reason by trying to invite her parents out for dinner her parents, but they do not even want to see me. And whenever my girlfriend is out with me, her parents would take turns to call her and chide her for being with me. As we are from traditional chinese famillies, customary weddings is must to my parents. If her parents strongly objects and choses not to even meet my parents to discuss the wedding details, I am worried that my parents would not approve to this marriage as well. I wonder what should I do. Should I just give up on this relationship or should I get on with it and put the marriage issues at the back of my mind and pray that her parents will mellow down one fine day???
Must be a reason why they dont like you man. There is always a reason, even if its a really fucked up one. U just need to know what. why!!!
have u found out why they dun seem to approve of u?
They can't even give my girlfriend a reason why they do not like me.
There are some very protective parents that strongly forbids their children in relationship. No need to have any reasons.
Best Regards,
Chin Seng
Frankly, it is not a relationship though on the surface it seems to appear so - a mutual benefit scheme is what it is.
Till that is acknowledged one can delude oneself (n another) and start anew and seek another or ... it is still the same.
The parents views/opinions are an excuse - what one is has surfaced. Being self-honest mite avail what is the true motive or the needs/expectations now parading and masquerading as love.
Love is not bad, it never hurts, it never disappoints - it is the neurosis, the dysfunctional who screw up ( within oneself first) and shift and rationalise and defend one's position.
i think i know why her parents dun like u,they just dun like your face.simple.they look at you,they dun like you.theres this about you tat whenever her parents look at you,they felt inscure and disgusted wth the way u look.too bad.so what if u earning 5k rupiah a month?her parents dun like u,period!! no need for reason.think u must go for plastic surgery so that u will look like brad pitt.perhaps,they will like u then n u can get married.or maybe,u have small cock,so they scared cannot make babies
Originally posted by KendrickD:hi ts i got a few questions for you, how do you look? What is your profession? ( Engineer? Manager? ). What about both of your religions? Are they different. Are her parents very ‘religious’ ? Check ba zi ? Are you a local Singaporean ?
And most importantly what is your girlfriend's age. Does she have any bad past experiences with her ex-boyfriends.People do not read minds, sometimes you have to talk to them in their face. Make them believe and trust? And how long have you guys been together?PS:If darkness is right then very very very very very very very very sian for you, seriously.& Never give up. Unless you don’t love her anymore.
Hi KendrickkD, I would say I look decent enough, just like any other executives you see on the road. Not on the good looking side. I am a project manager in the engineering industry. We have the same religious belief and yes her parents as well as mine are very religious. Not been to any fortune teller to checked ba zi. Yes I am local. She is 27 and I am 29. We have agreed not to bring up the experiences in our past relatioships so I didn't probe.
One may agree not to bring up the past lah, however one is either repressing or one is most likely to react to what is from one's past. If reconciled ( let go, that is ''dead'' to the past) one may respond and it is qualitative!
Originally posted by Fugazzi:One may agree not to bring up the past lah, however one is either repressing or one is most likely to react to what is from one's past. If reconciled ( let go, that is ''dead'' to the past) one may respond and it is qualitative!
lol bro, you mean like. you think that the parents are so protective of his gf( their daughter) because of his gf's personal past relationship that caused it??
2 option....
1) go knock her house door.. then when her parent open.. just say si mi lan jiao.. bei siong ar?
2) go knock her house door..then when hr parent open.. just beg beg beg beg beg lor.. beg till they tell u why they dun like u lor
There must be a reason. How old is your girlfriend? Still schooling? Same race or religion?
�奔 lo... =P
No seriously, must really get reason/s why her parents don't like you. Best to get your GF to press them for that.
Don't tell me they so traditional that they already intending to wed their daughter off by 相亲 or some garbage...
Lol poor TS
Maybe they got bad vibes after meeting you?
Do you look fierce or evil or Ah beng?
Hmmm I think you can't do much, since you don't even know where the problem is. So it's up to your GF to try and get her parents to cooperate. She has to make it clear that she's already 27 and can decide for herself, I mean legally she does not even need her parents' permission to get married.
And if her parents cannot give her any reason not be with you, then they're just being unreasonable.
@Kendrick,
I meant parents, this guy, this gal, all - i m not making them or anyone ''wrong'' - the tendency is the mind tends to rationalize and delude and justify. As such, the real is missed and hence the agony lah.'It is the misunderstanding , the misinterpreting that is divisive.
Considering the ages 27 and 29 relatively speaking they are not teenagers who need to toe the lines set by parents, me , you or society. It is the responsiblity that seems lacking, to blame someone or use another as an excuse is a cop out.
Any parent who means ''well'' for their or .. would allow another to be and respect - mistake or wrong or is always subjective. This is respecting and allow the other or another to grow UP. If not it is simply not helping but conditioning another and worse still - one is unconsciously gravitating towards growing OLD!
N o one is privy to what are the real motives of such a stance of being protective or otherwise, being self-honest and communicating the fears and what-not might see the light of the day!
I think the parents scare when the daughter marry already will stop giving them money to support them..
Just throw a few thousand dollars at their face and they will allow her to marry you
Originally posted by Marlz1213:I've been with my current girlfriend for a while now, we are in the stage of planning to move on to the next chapter and live our lives together. However, I only know recently that her parents is forcing her to end our relationships since the 1st day i met them as they do not likes me without any particular reason. I don't know where went wrong as I've treated her parents with the upmost respect when i see them. And for the sake of my girlfriend, I've given up the vices that I picked up during my younger days (smoking, drinking and clubbing). I also earned a decent salary of more then 5k though I'm only in my late 20s.
Her parents even went to the extend that if she chose to marry me, they would try their best to stand in our way. I've tried to find out te reason by trying to invite her parents out for dinner her parents, but they do not even want to see me. And whenever my girlfriend is out with me, her parents would take turns to call her and chide her for being with me. As we are from traditional chinese famillies, customary weddings is must to my parents. If her parents strongly objects and choses not to even meet my parents to discuss the wedding details, I am worried that my parents would not approve to this marriage as well. I wonder what should I do. Should I just give up on this relationship or should I get on with it and put the marriage issues at the back of my mind and pray that her parents will mellow down one fine day???
Some random guesses in the ascending order of dramatization:
1. They don't like you because of your past / something you did in the past.
2. They don't like your family background.
3. There's a deep enmity between your family and her family.
4. You and her are blood-related and must not marry each other.
Seriously, if you want to know the reason, you gotta ask them personally. Go pay a visit to her parents and try to have a good talk with them (but be prepared for the worst).
If you really love her, you would go all the way to find out why her parents dislike you and work on it.
5 years. it's very long. Don't call it off just because of parental objections.
If this relationship isn't worth it in your eyes, then by all means, call it off.
screw her parents
if you and your gf got no problems with each other, ignore what everybody else thinks/says
Is their standard of living much higher than yours?
Later, turns out, it's like those dramas, there's another guy in the background pulling the strings and he's x2 the man you are in her parents' eyes.
TS, really sorry to hear that if you really love her and you really never look back your past.
Just curious,
1. You ever being to jail before?
2. Even gang fight before and kill someone?
3. Your tattoos? Arms, legs, shoulders, necks and body?
4. You look? Long hair, eye very firece, green dot tattoo between your eye brow?
5. The way you walk? Swing hand?
Did your gf parent detest the above?
hahahaha. put tatto on face ? who dare to put?
i think why not ask ur girlfriend ? maybe ur girlfriend knows the reason but she just dun wish to tell ? or ur gf too chio got too many suitors ? like that oso very hard to get married one .
hahahaha. put tatto on face ? who dare to put?
i think why not ask ur girlfriend ? maybe ur girlfriend knows the reason but she just dun wish to tell ? or ur gf too chio got too many suitors ? like that oso very hard to get married one .