Is it wrong to have 2 boyfriends at the same time?
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Just heard this from Geraldine
She loves Simon very much. She is not willing to lose him. She wants to marry Simon.
But...she doesn't know how to say it to Francis and not break his heart. -
When she is married with Simon, then she see flaws in Simon....
then not happy..then John come along
then she fall in love with another guy again
then so on and so forth.... -
U see too far already lehOriginally posted by TuTu_Car:When she is married with Simon, then she see flaws in Simon....
then not happy..then John come along
then she fall in love with another guy again
then so on and so forth....
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Originally posted by Honeybunz:U see too far already leh
Story? -
Originally posted by Honeybunz:
ok, so simon's case is settled... well, as for francis, i think geraldine should tell him frankly... no matter wat, whether she tell him ot he finds out on his own, it will hurt him...
Just heard this from [b]Geraldine
She loves Simon very much. She is not willing to lose him. She wants to marry Simon.
But...she doesn't know how to say it to Francis and not break his heart.[/b]
I feel telling him is better.... If geraldine want to tell him in the face, bring along simon.... if not through phone.... and dun forget, forget francis totally.. no connections with him no matter wat.... -
Sigh
No matter what,
right now,
she should choose the action herself...and stand by her descision..... -
Originally posted by Honeybunz:
This is such a common classic case I will always hear from time to time. But regardless, here it goes.
Ok, time to tell my friend's story...
Names : [b]Geraldine (my friend), Francis and Simon.
(All are fake names lah. Cannot publish real names here)
Geraldine and Francis were in love with each other. Geraldine (my friend) loved Francis wholeheartedly and was willing to love Francis for the rest of her love. She had many suitors and dates before. But when she was in a relationship with Francis, she stopped going out with other guys and turned down all the courtships to stay faithful to Francis.
As time went by, Francis (an ambitious guy, a workoholic) worked and worked and worked. He neglected Geraldine. They hardly talked to each other as much. Geraldine began to doubt Francis' feeling for her. She tried to talk about it. But Francis wasn't too keen to talk (probably his mind was too occupied by his work and money making). Geraldine was heartbroken cuz she suspected Francis was seeing someone else.
One day Geraldine met Simon and both got along very well. Soon they fell in love with each other. Francis got to know about it. He realised that he could not lose Geraldine. He realised his mistake for neglecting her. He apologised and wanted to win her back. He explained to her that those time he was neglecting her because he was facing some difficulties at work and in finance. He didn't want to tell her his problems (or maybe he didn't know how to tell her).
Simon is a great guy... loving and caring. But Francis has been with Geraldine longer.
For some time, Geraldine didn't know what she should do so as not to hurt both guys that she love. She started seeing both guys at the same time.
And then.... recently, both of them proposed to her!!!!
How leh? What should my friend do leh? Tough hor?
I also dunno what to advise her. sigh[/b]
First of all: Geraldine MUSTN'T accept Simon's proposal at all - or at least the time being (But that doesn't mean she has to accept Francis's one) - probably if she did in haste - she will never know if she accepted it on the basis of substitute of company (until maybe later, such thoughts and feeling will be clearer)
Secondly: She shouldn't accept Francis's proposal, yet - because Francis proposal because he is AFRAID of losing her - not because he feels that the time is right, love is strong, financially stable, etc and wanted to be with her till death do them part. This is unstable grounds - avoid if possible.
Then what should she do?
She needs time for reflect and ponder over what they really meant in her heart WITHOUT the interferance of their actions, words, etc. Which means these guys must respect her decision to remain alone for a period of time to think. Basically: this also allows the guys to think and cool down, at least they would be more rational in a way. She should go out with close girl friend, to shopping, etc and could probably seek their views too.
After the period of rest - suggested time minimum 2 weeks - She should speak to the both of them, individually on one Vs one basis. About what she should speak leh... post a new topic or pte msg me. Then I continue my post from there bah.
Cheers -
Yunhaier......Originally posted by Yunhaier:She needs time for reflect and ponder over what they really meant in her heart WITHOUT the interferance of their actions, words, etc. Which means these guys must respect her decision to remain alone for a period of time to think. Basically: this also allows the guys to think and cool down, at least they would be more rational in a way. She should go out with close girl friend, to shopping, etc and could probably seek their views too.
After the period of rest - suggested time minimum 2 weeks - She should speak to the both of them, individually on one Vs one basis. About what she should speak leh... post a new topic or pte msg me. Then I continue my post from there bah.
Cheers
You are the Champion of Aunty Agony !!!! Clapz Clapz Clapz Clapz~~~
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Originally posted by Klactovak:Yunhaier......
You are the Champion of Aunty Agony !!!! Clapz Clapz Clapz Clapz~~~
Psss...
/me whisper "So you receive the sum of money I gave to you for advertisement?." -
hmmm... this reminds me of a song by glenn frey called "the one you love".. very nice song.. lemme paste the lyrics..
The one you love ~~ Glenn Frey
I know you need a friend
someone you can talk to
who will understand
what you're going through
when it comes to love
there's no easy answer
only you can say
what you're gonna do
i heard you on the phone
you took his number
said you were alone
that you will call him soon
isn't he the guy
the guy who left you crying
isn't he the one
who made you blue
when you remember those nights in his arms
you know you got to make up your mind
Chorus:
are you gonna stay with the one who loves you
or are you going back to the one you love
someone's gonna cry when they know they lost you
someone's gonna thank the stars above
what you gonna say
when he comes over
there's no easy way to see this through
all the broken dreams
all the disappointment
oh girl...whatcha gonna do?
Your heart keeps sayin it's just not fair
but still you gotta make up your mind -
Yup!!! Very good money.Originally posted by Yunhaier:
Psss...
/me whisper "So you receive the sum of money I gave to you for advertisement?." 
Let me know when you need more advertising.
ps. do you read rousseau ? any good book? pte mail me lah.... -
but how do u find time for two boyfriends?[/u]
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Daytime with Francis (they work in the same company but different dept)Originally posted by AaLviNn:but how do u find time for two boyfriends?[/u]
Nightime with Simon (they stay near to each other) -
Have some updates...
Francis suspects that Simon has already proposed to Geraldine.
He (Francis) proposed that he and Geraldine go to Las Vegas to get married in the Wedding Chapel. This way, they don't have to go through the long process of registering with ROM and waiting for the day. -
I firmly stand on my prior views - she accept, she would eventually come to regret.Originally posted by Honeybunz:Have some updates...
Francis suspects that Simon has already proposed to Geraldine.
He (Francis) proposed that he and Geraldine go to Las Vegas to get married in the Wedding Chapel. This way, they don't have to go through the long process of registering with ROM and waiting for the day.
Why?
Love isn't a competition: its patient and kind. Entering into marriage doesn't solve problems, its indirectly creates extra burden IF it was based on a weak foundation (pre-marital, problems and more problems, etc). She wants to seek eternal happiness from a marriage - she has to make the correct decision! And in making the correct decision, she has to make that decision...
I) Without exisiting problems. (Solve exisiting problems before moving into marriage and I mean solved it, not avoiding, leaving it, etc)
II) Without confusion and delusion from sweet words, etc that the guys would throw in now. There is an existing problem and the both guys are afraid that she might agree the other party. They will do all sort of hell to get her attention and get her to agree - this is poor ground for any marriage.
III) After leaving from the cloud of doubt and confusions, rational thinking returns, but that's not enough - reflection, reflections and more reflections is needed to understand, to know, to realise what is it that she actually wants.
Cheers -
You are great!
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I pretty much have to agree with this one...Originally posted by Honeybunz:You are great! 
> Except the 1st liner... Which is seemingly just a GENERALISATION? -
Absolutely spot on with the advices but wat we actually know abt Geraldine, Francis and Simonr r wat Honeybunz told us. Period.Originally posted by Yunhaier:I firmly stand on my prior views - she accept, she would eventually come to regret.
Why?
Love isn't a competition: its patient and kind. Entering into marriage doesn't solve problems, its indirectly creates extra burden IF it was based on a weak foundation (pre-marital, problems and more problems, etc). She wants to seek eternal happiness from a marriage - she has to make the correct decision! And in making the correct decision, she has to make that decision...
I) Without exisiting problems. (Solve exisiting problems before moving into marriage and I mean solved it, not avoiding, leaving it, etc)
II) Without confusion and delusion from sweet words, etc that the guys would throw in now. There is an existing problem and the both guys are afraid that she might agree the other party. They will do all sort of hell to get her attention and get her to agree - this is poor ground for any marriage.
III) After leaving from the cloud of doubt and confusions, rational thinking returns, but that's not enough - reflection, reflections and more reflections is needed to understand, to know, to realise what is it that she actually wants.
Cheers
Not doubting Honeybunz, but in such a scenario, everyone's a loser. Francis lost it the day Geraldine starts looking for another person. Geraldine lost it by not breaking up with Francis b4 moving on and poor Simon lost it right from the start. I wondered whether the poor guy knows abt Geraldine n Francis.
Called me a cynic, but the gal's at fault with her indecisiveness, n don't go looking 4 advices cos she dug herself a hole n the best case scenario is 4 each of them 2 go their separate way. Cos marriage with either at the end of the day will b either unhappy or end up in a divorce. Adding 2 the divorce rate in sg... -
go b nun
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I thought Ah Ma will suggest Geraldine should go away for 16 years to avoid the two guys.Originally posted by Xiao Long Nu:go b nun