What can u do? As a gd frd, there's also a limit to what u can do for her. If she also regard u as a gd frd of hers' she will stop and listen to u. Juz calm her down and talk to her nicely. I knw love may b blind, but strong frdship is built up thru a lot of hardships so she shd understand ur concern for her. Anyway, she's also an adult, I guess, shd be able to distinguish right form wrong, don't worry so much, juz give her some time to wake up...Originally posted by joanne:my fren who is onli 18 this yr is facing a big problem.she fell for this 27 yr old guy who is such a bastard..engaged already but still filrting around wif gers..the 2 of them had a v complicated story that i am not too sure abt too.. they are more than frens, behaving like a couple, yet not a couple.. recently, the wife of that man found out n was really furious.. of cos as expected, the man returned back to the arms of the wife, leaving my fren alone..n started to ignore her.my fren is really really upset n she really love this bastard so much that she even attempted suicide..v v silly of her.. i tried all my best as a fren to help her..i mean from the start i alrady warned her abt it but she is just too sturborn to listen to any of us.. so now, she's suffering.. refusing to do anything..n dunwan to eat.. at this moment, i cannot be blaming her for wat she did already, n really wanna help her, but wat should i do? she just refuse to let that man go.. argh!!!~
Partially TRUE... It takes TIME to HEAL her...Originally posted by ZiZi:It takes time to heal the wound of ur friend.Nobody could help her if she herself dun want to help herself.Gif her time & own space to learn from her mistake.It is part of growing up,she has to learn to take it & learn from the mistake.She may not realise ta t there is still friends like u who are very concern about her.When time goes by she will know who are her True friends ard her.
Don't BET too early on that... It's as good as seeing someone in the water and asking him/her to 'kick or DROWN'.... YES... MOST people kicks... BUT STILL... Some people just DROWN.....Originally posted by mikegk_76:What can u do? As a gd frd, there's also a limit to what u can do for her. If she also regard u as a gd frd of hers' she will stop and listen to u. Juz calm her down and talk to her nicely. I knw love may b blind, but strong frdship is built up thru a lot of hardships so she shd understand ur concern for her. Anyway, she's also an adult, I guess, shd be able to distinguish right form wrong, don't worry so much, juz give her some time to wake up...
Can I meet you...? Can I see her...? Can you arrange so that I'll have a chance to get to talk to her please? I think I have at least an 80% chance to convince her....Originally posted by joanne:yah, me n my frens gave her time..when she was feeling just a little better..that jerk came back n "hook" her! now she is all confused agaiN! argH!!! that bastard!!! i alrady tok to her nicely, i mean sat down n really try to talk her thru wif another best fren..but she is just too naive.. n sturborn..haiz..we tried all ways!!!
Oic, the man came back, what does he actually wanna get out of this relationship? He's really a jerk, mayb ask your frd to go overseas with u, together with some frds so that he had no chance to find her for the time being and hope that your frd can straighten things out a/f that, how abt that? Vacation time approaching mah..Originally posted by joanne:yah, me n my frens gave her time..when she was feeling just a little better..that jerk came back n "hook" her! now she is all confused agaiN! argH!!! that bastard!!! i alrady tok to her nicely, i mean sat down n really try to talk her thru wif another best fren..but she is just too naive.. n sturborn..haiz..we tried all ways!!!
Making her go on overseas trip DON'T always work all the time.... ALOT would depends on what's on her mind... If she just can't get the 'load' off her mind, arranging trips for her would ONLY create more additional time to DWELL on her problems...Originally posted by joanne:hmm..i dun think i can get her to see u devil1976..sorrie... going overseas wif her is a gd suggestion but i am schooling.. got exams coming on after the vacation so it's like n vacation for me! argh. then not too long ago, she went overseas twice n it doesnt seems to help much too.. hmm.. yah, i am really thinking of meeting the guy n gif him a thrashing but then i think that my fren wouldnt be too happy abt it.. n i may afraid the guy might be pissed off n do more harm to her!
Better don't go and find if not u might b a victim then, stay clear of that guy, juz make your frd understand and wake up from her predicament. This type of guy ain't any "gd guy" therefore u will encounter a lot of problems once u go and find him, who knws? He may then target at u after meeting u. Be careful loh. Anyway, don't b too troubled cos u shd hav already done what u shd do as a frd loh, juz depends whether your frd listens or not.Originally posted by joanne:going overseas wif her is a gd suggestion but i am schooling.. got exams coming on after the vacation so it's like n vacation for me! argh. then not too long ago, she went overseas twice n it doesnt seems to help much too.. hmm.. yah, i am really thinking of meeting the guy n gif him a thrashing but then i think that my fren wouldnt be too happy abt it.. n i may afraid the guy might be pissed off n do more harm to her!
Don't mind if I have to put a word into this reply of yours. No offence to you but just directing this to your reply.Originally posted by Bear:Yoz... I dunno if anyone tried this before and I think it's the best solution to the root of the prob... of coz being by her side is a must and consoling her.. on the other hand, maybe can try telling that guy's wife.. but it will haf to be done very tactfully and of coz has to be let the wife in total trust wif ur fren and u... maybe the other pple in the forum can gif suggestion to this??
I really think this sort of thing the guy shud not even have a place set his foot on... better let him sink...
I believe at this point you people (her friends) have already done ALOT for her... Don't try to do EVERYTHING for her as it's really NOT POSSIBLE. Got to understand that ALOT MORE depends on her rather than you people.... Don't let her be too reliance on you.... From my personal point of view, from this point on, just 'monitoring' her would be just sufficient.... Let her learn to stand up on her own or she'll just continue to sink.....Originally posted by joanne:hmm..actually the bastard's wife already noe abt the whole matter thats y that bastard wanna break up wif my fren in order to salvage his marriage. from wat i heard from my fren, this is not the first time that bastard go out n filrt!! haiz.. actually i am not too sure abt wat really happened b/w them.i just noe that it hurts alot to see my fren suffering like hell now.. n as a fren i cannot help much! thanks for all the advices.. well, my fren doesnt dare to face the wife cos she noes that she is in the wrong. but then she still persist on.. so actually i also dunno wat to do wif her.. i mean i tried all methods! argH!!!! wat a bastRD!!~
Hmm.... Finally 'wake up'...?Originally posted by Bear:Joanne,
Just want to ask how's the situation now?? Are things flowing for the better or worse???
I hope somehow or some way ur friend will wake up from her little dream soon...
Joanne,Originally posted by joanne:my fren who is onli 18 this yr is facing a big problem.she fell for this 27 yr old guy who is such a bastard..engaged already but still filrting around wif gers..the 2 of them had a v complicated story that i am not too sure abt too.. they are more than frens, behaving like a couple, yet not a couple.. recently, the wife of that man found out n was really furious.. of cos as expected, the man returned back to the arms of the wife, leaving my fren alone..n started to ignore her.my fren is really really upset n she really love this bastard so much that she even attempted suicide..v v silly of her.. i tried all my best as a fren to help her..i mean from the start i alrady warned her abt it but she is just too sturborn to listen to any of us.. so now, she's suffering.. refusing to do anything..n dunwan to eat.. at this moment, i cannot be blaming her for wat she did already, n really wanna help her, but wat should i do? she just refuse to let that man go.. argh!!!~