love problem
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my girlfriend of 3 yrs broke off with me last month and i'm still feeling very sorrow...i've treated her rather badly in the past, restricting her of her freedom..shouting at her n scolding her..we have had some good times together..then all of a sudden, she told me that she wanted to break off, the reason being that she wants to be alone n enjoy her freedom..i accept it n i told her mayb it's time for her to cool off as well..but in less than a month after we broke off, she got together with another guy..it breaks my heart so much that she's getting together with another guy whom she have known for less than 1/2 yr..i feel very cheated and i've lost faith..i still love her alot and during the past month, i've been drinking and smoking daily..hoping that she will come back again..at times when we sms or email each other..the question about our relationship will surface and she will get very angry...i don't want her to get so angry with me..i don't know what should i do now..should i be given a chance? Should i go after her again?
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but u did treated her beri badly in the past mah.. u try to be good to her frm now on lor who knows one day she might be touched by u.. if she is back together wif u remember to treat her nicely lor..Originally posted by goblin80:my girlfriend of 3 yrs broke off with me last month and i'm still feeling very sorrow...i've treated her rather badly in the past, restricting her of her freedom..shouting at her n scolding her..we have had some good times together..then all of a sudden, she told me that she wanted to break off, the reason being that she wants to be alone n enjoy her freedom..i accept it n i told her mayb it's time for her to cool off as well..but in less than a month after we broke off, she got together with another guy..it breaks my heart so much that she's getting together with another guy whom she have known for less than 1/2 yr..i feel very cheated and i've lost faith..i still love her alot and during the past month, i've been drinking and smoking daily..hoping that she will come back again..at times when we sms or email each other..the question about our relationship will surface and she will get very angry...i don't want her to get so angry with me..i don't know what should i do now..should i be given a chance? Should i go after her again? 
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Its always say to say goodbye. I once ahd a gf which lasted for 3 yrs also, and it didnt last too. so i feel your pain. when pple yield for freedom, its just an excuse that he/she is very tird up with u liao. it is just an excuse. the real reason is that she dont wanna be with you already. the fact can be seen when she found someone else.Originally posted by goblin80:my girlfriend of 3 yrs broke off with me last month and i'm still feeling very sorrow...i've treated her rather badly in the past, restricting her of her freedom..shouting at her n scolding her..we have had some good times together..then all of a sudden, she told me that she wanted to break off, the reason being that she wants to be alone n enjoy her freedom..i accept it n i told her mayb it's time for her to cool off as well..but in less than a month after we broke off, she got together with another guy..it breaks my heart so much that she's getting together with another guy whom she have known for less than 1/2 yr..i feel very cheated and i've lost faith..i still love her alot and during the past month, i've been drinking and smoking daily..hoping that she will come back again..at times when we sms or email each other..the question about our relationship will surface and she will get very angry...i don't want her to get so angry with me..i don't know what should i do now..should i be given a chance? Should i go after her again?
do not be bother over the relationship already, she is not the 1st (maybe, i dont know), but she also maybe be the last. pick urself up and learn from it. if u indulge in smoking and drinking, wat help would it do to you? affect your work or studies, worth it meh? y see the whole world only as this relationship. its not worth it, be happy again, find new hobbies, or new ger. i know u love her very much, but she dont liao, waiting doesnt get u anywhere...even if she comes back to you, when she know that you are still the better guy, you already may not like her liao
this is just temporary. its painful i know, and only time can heal the wound...but You can make it heal faster, pick urself up.
take care -
Hey Goblin,Originally posted by goblin80:my girlfriend of 3 yrs broke off with me last month and i'm still feeling very sorrow...i've treated her rather badly in the past, restricting her of her freedom..shouting at her n scolding her..we have had some good times together..then all of a sudden, she told me that she wanted to break off, the reason being that she wants to be alone n enjoy her freedom..i accept it n i told her mayb it's time for her to cool off as well..but in less than a month after we broke off, she got together with another guy..it breaks my heart so much that she's getting together with another guy whom she have known for less than 1/2 yr..i feel very cheated and i've lost faith..i still love her alot and during the past month, i've been drinking and smoking daily..hoping that she will come back again..at times when we sms or email each other..the question about our relationship will surface and she will get very angry...i don't want her to get so angry with me..i don't know what should i do now..should i be given a chance? Should i go after her again?
Funnily, this is what happened to me years ago but instead, i was placed in ur ex's shoes. My ex kept tormenting me. She shouted at me and keep asking me when i will be back and stuff and thus, i can easily relate to you on how she feels.i've treated her rather badly in the past, restricting her of her freedom..shouting at her n scolding her..we have had some good times together
You jolly well should know the reason why she broke up with you
One thing a girl hates more than cockroaches is a possessive boyfriend.I think it would be a good bet that there isn't anything that is going to develop between you and this girl, no matter how much you try so as hard as it might be. Maybe it's time to move on with your life and think about your attitude in relationships. Learn how to curb your possessiveness and that may just be the desserts u get for being two-timed.
I know it's hard when you have the feelings for her that you have, but you have to slow down.Any relationship takes time and needs time to grow into a mature and loving relationship.
Give her the space that she is asking for and realize that, no matter what, even if she chooses not to be with you, it will be okay. It's hard letting go when you don't want to but, if you really love her, you will go by what she says. You would let her go if she asked you to. That is love.
Regardless of what you think she feels for you, she's still with her boyfriend and if they're still together despite her knowing how you feel than obviously the relationship is important to her, more important to her than you are. You need to respect that relationship and her choices and not try to butt in, and yes, smsing her and calling her up only to bring about the relationship. To do so is inherently selfish.
If she's taken, she's taken. Until she's single again, she's out of bounds if you care about what she feels at all. Don't mess up whatever friendship you've got with her by trying to force something that won't happen.
Cheers and goodluck -
i will treat her very well if given a chance but the fact is that she has got a new boyfriend aredi..wat should i do? i still love her alot and i'm willing to wait for her...but she keep telling me not to wait for her..she told me she's very happy now..she's enjoying her life now..
i don't know what can i do to get her back..feeling so miserable everyday...her good friend told her about me after she saw me last week..but today, she told me that if i'm still going to be like this, she's goin to ignore me...i feel so sad when she said this... -
its all in ur mind, if u dont wanna let go of this, you will neber get over her. make up your mind, u want to remain in this state and hope for her to return to you, which seem impossible now, or get on with ur life happier, if she do return, she be it, if not, so be it.Originally posted by goblin80:i will treat her very well if given a chance but the fact is that she has got a new boyfriend aredi..wat should i do? i still love her alot and i'm willing to wait for her...but she keep telling me not to wait for her..she told me she's very happy now..she's enjoying her life now..
i don't know what can i do to get her back..feeling so miserable everyday...her good friend told her about me after she saw me last week..but today, she told me that if i'm still going to be like this, she's goin to ignore me...i feel so sad when she said this...
im sure if u putur heart into it, u can get over this part of your life, and learn some lessons from it. -
hmmmm..... smoking and drinking will not make your ex come back to you. instead u should think on how to go on with life .. i mean .. maybe look for a new gal... theres always lots of new gals out there.. just remeber not to be so abusive on ur gal friend .....
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although easy said than done, but neverthe less, the fact.Originally posted by Swimfan85:hmmmm..... smoking and drinking will not make your ex come back to you. instead u should think on how to go on with life .. i mean .. maybe look for a new gal... theres always lots of new gals out there.. just remeber not to be so abusive on ur gal friend ..... -
Hi goblin80,Originally posted by goblin80:my girlfriend of 3 yrs broke off with me last month and i'm still feeling very sorrow...i've treated her rather badly in the past, restricting her of her freedom..shouting at her n scolding her..we have had some good times together..then all of a sudden, she told me that she wanted to break off, the reason being that she wants to be alone n enjoy her freedom..i accept it n i told her mayb it's time for her to cool off as well..but in less than a month after we broke off, she got together with another guy..it breaks my heart so much that she's getting together with another guy whom she have known for less than 1/2 yr..i feel very cheated and i've lost faith..i still love her alot and during the past month, i've been drinking and smoking daily..hoping that she will come back again..at times when we sms or email each other..the question about our relationship will surface and she will get very angry...i don't want her to get so angry with me..i don't know what should i do now..should i be given a chance? Should i go after her again?
You see here.. "Possessiveness" is the word that describe you most.. You restrict her freedom shout and socld at her.. how would she feels.. She'll think that you are even worse than her parents.. Giving her so much curfews! Who wanna to be grounded by someone? Somemore you are her bf.. you should tend to be more caring towards her.. and keepin her all by your side...
You hold too tight until she couldn't breathe.. and then jus one fine day she cant take it.. burst it... and end it...
She gave you the reasons why she ask for a break up.. Have you guys ever talk about this b4? Any communications on it?? From here.. it seems no to the questions.. But however.. you are upset becos she found herself another love or do you realise your problem here??
She knows this guy for 1/2 year.. and this was also when you 2 were still together... She knows that you treat her badly.. And then come this guy.. she get to know him... and realise he's much better than you?? More caring and understanding... But maybe no feelings taken in.. jus purely friends becos the guy knows she's in a relationship now and doesn't wan to come inbetween.. Thereafter.. the relationship between you and her becomes sour... No more feelings attached!!
I'm pretty sure she did told the guy about the break up.. Of cos when the guy hears about it.. He knows that he got a chance to chase after her.. Moreover she may also feels more comfortable with him around.. And then this 1 month feelings developed and they got together.. Well well well.. all these are jus my guesses... True or not.. you should know...
She only need 1 month to erase the 3-year relationship.. DO you think if given back a chance would you still wan her back?? Will you still be the same?? SO paranoid so possessive??
I suggest that for the time being you don't SMS her.. let your mind and your emotions fuction well and stable first.. Cos now you still couldn't get over her.. And you keep on msging her.. asking about the relation.. of cos she will feel irritated (it's already over) and you would get on moving!!! You'll still be living in the world of you and her only..
Stop contacting her for awhile..even if she contact you.. try not to reply.. get your life back again.. No see No hear No speak is the best way to get over one person.. Then after you are physically and emotionally ok.. maybe try to contact her back.. when this time you SMS her.. you wont feel so miserable like "i cant do without her" this kind of thing.. It will be another new YOU!!
CheerS! -
i second tat.Originally posted by Master -_-:One thing a girl hates more than cockroaches is a possessive boyfriend.
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and i know the reason why...Originally posted by gala:i second tat. -
wei.... dun bao-to me lah....Originally posted by whiteillum:and i know the reason why... 
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u know that i wont do that mahOriginally posted by gala:wei.... dun bao-to me lah....
it will be between the both of us -
Then you know you love and had loved once with this special someone - many a times, when it's gone - you long for it to come back.Originally posted by goblin80:my girlfriend of 3 yrs broke off with me last month and i'm still feeling very sorrow...i've treated her rather badly in the past, restricting her of her freedom..shouting at her n scolding her..we have had some good times together..then all of a sudden, she told me that she wanted to break off, the reason being that she wants to be alone n enjoy her freedom..i accept it n i told her mayb it's time for her to cool off as well..but in less than a month after we broke off, she got together with another guy..it breaks my heart so much that she's getting together with another guy whom she have known for less than 1/2 yr..i feel very cheated and i've lost faith..i still love her alot and during the past month, i've been drinking and smoking daily..hoping that she will come back again..at times when we sms or email each other..the question about our relationship will surface and she will get very angry...i don't want her to get so angry with me..i don't know what should i do now..should i be given a chance? Should i go after her again?
You finally understand the flaws in you that leads to the destruction of this relationship. You said you went for 3 years - so why, during this period which I am sure you knew this characteristic of yours, didn't you have the urge to improve yourself and implement it? Well, only after you lost it right?
She went with another guy that she knew that than 1/2 a year within one month - this simply shows that he preception of your relations has decline long ago, and is not at the end of the third year. she may have wanted to leave you long ago - but something held her back. Well, things didn't change and feelings are lost forever - she left.
The reason why you feel so bad and down - is because she moved on far quicker than you, Into a new relationship. At the point of time when she requested for a break, you agreed. Then when she has moved on, happier and someone new - while you are still your same old self - this psychological preception would be a killer. (You drink, smoke, etc)
So you are asking if you should chase her, etc?
Chances are you wouldn't succeed. A relationship of 3 years - if she wanted to give you a chance, she would have given it many times throughout the course of the relationship. You know why she will get angry every time you mentioned about the relationship? Partially is because she is guilt - finding someone new in such short span of time AND because she is firm about never to go back to the relation again. (To undergo certain stress, pressure, possessivenss, arguments, etc) People get tired over such issues easily - what more a relationship of 3 years.
Don't get too agitated in trying to to get back what originally seemed to be yours at first. She is clear about herself - maintaining friendship without emotional attachment with you and leading on her new life. She is trying to - so must you.
Cheers. -
Read my thread of gd gers and bad guys.... Leave her alone!!Originally posted by goblin80:my girlfriend of 3 yrs broke off with me last month and i'm still feeling very sorrow...i've treated her rather badly in the past, restricting her of her freedom..shouting at her n scolding her..we have had some good times together..then all of a sudden, she told me that she wanted to break off, the reason being that she wants to be alone n enjoy her freedom..i accept it n i told her mayb it's time for her to cool off as well..but in less than a month after we broke off, she got together with another guy..it breaks my heart so much that she's getting together with another guy whom she have known for less than 1/2 yr..i feel very cheated and i've lost faith..i still love her alot and during the past month, i've been drinking and smoking daily..hoping that she will come back again..at times when we sms or email each other..the question about our relationship will surface and she will get very angry...i don't want her to get so angry with me..i don't know what should i do now..should i be given a chance? Should i go after her again?
PLs move on... U treated her badly at 1st and now its too late...
I dun think u shld torture urself.. makes u even worse.... -
Hey, pls wake up! U treated her badly in the 1st place.... So now u asking for too much... SHe has a happy life and let her be....Originally posted by goblin80:i will treat her very well if given a chance but the fact is that she has got a new boyfriend aredi..wat should i do? i still love her alot and i'm willing to wait for her...but she keep telling me not to wait for her..she told me she's very happy now..she's enjoying her life now..
i don't know what can i do to get her back..feeling so miserable everyday...her good friend told her about me after she saw me last week..but today, she told me that if i'm still going to be like this, she's goin to ignore me...i feel so sad when she said this...
If u stil haf love for her let her be....
This is wat we call retribution... -
Dear goblin80:
I'd just follow-up to what Yun had said.
He had pointed out certain critical points like the declination in relationship thru the years and others.
She had chose to tell you that she wants to be alone and enjoy her freedom simply possibly because she finds it easier to do it that way, with the interest of the 3 long years of tolerating and standing up with you. She finds it the best approach.
However she didn't realise that by moving on too fast made all her words the reason for break up lost credibility in your eyes. In turn, you're hurt.
All i could say is. Take time to think and learn from it.
Experience is a great teacher, paid with a high price.
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its pain to be treated badly be bf..... ur ex gf wound reali need time to heal..... she can tolerate u for nearly 3yrs is sumtime not all the gers can tolerate lor.... she didnt break off wit u in the start coz she mayb feel tat u can be change and she oso think tat tis r/s can still be carry on....
i hope in future u will treat all ur gf and not hurting them or let them hurt u again..... -
You say you love her so much
will change if she comes back to you
then you are still wanting her to come back to you
how possesive are you?
she found her happiness -
do u think she will cum back to u if u change?? let mi tell u, even tot how much she love u, she oso wont cum back to u coz she was hurt by u too deep....
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I agree with u. U stil persist on ur point tt u will change if she come back and not change for the better. Think why in the 1st place u nvr change? Its all too late now. She is not going to come back cos u haf HURT her alot! SHe has a happy life and a much better bf than u!Originally posted by Arai^ger:do u think she will cum back to u if u change?? let mi tell u, even tot how much she love u, she oso wont cum back to u coz she was hurt by u too deep....
GET this clear: Her bf though did not noe her long, treats her better than u did over the 3 years. He has given her what she wants in a rls u cannot give. He made her happy and u made her sad! -
Hmm... Just a question of curiosity which I hope you can enlighten me...? Wonder how would drinking and smoking everyday helps to get your EX back to you...?Originally posted by goblin80:my girlfriend of 3 yrs broke off with me last month and i'm still feeling very sorrow...i've treated her rather badly in the past, restricting her of her freedom..shouting at her n scolding her..we have had some good times together..then all of a sudden, she told me that she wanted to break off, the reason being that she wants to be alone n enjoy her freedom..i accept it n i told her mayb it's time for her to cool off as well..but in less than a month after we broke off, she got together with another guy..it breaks my heart so much that she's getting together with another guy whom she have known for less than 1/2 yr..i feel very cheated and i've lost faith..i still love her alot and during the past month, i've been drinking and smoking daily..hoping that she will come back again..at times when we sms or email each other..the question about our relationship will surface and she will get very angry...i don't want her to get so angry with me..i don't know what should i do now..should i be given a chance? Should i go after her again?
Just like you've mentioned that you've been treating her badly in the past, perhaps it's TIME you give her a break...? Those things about "I'll treat her better IN THE FUTURE..." and such... Can forget about them lah... You could have done these while you were with her the past 3 years... The FACT is ya DIDN'T...? FACE IT.... Personally, I think her reason to leave you is more valid than your one to want her back...? SInce you've never really done much for her in the past, the LEAST you can do now is to STOP PESTERING and wish her all well...?
Well... At least that's what I thought...? Hey, what's your opinion huh...? -
You are simply too and still possessive even though you and her are separated. It's obvious from the words and tone you are illustrating here. Give her some breathing space. Don't go and press on her. If she genuinely don't want to see you, then don't go and look for her. You will only make things worst this way.
In fact, it will be more hurtful to know that the one you love is not at all happy with you THAN to know the one you love is happy with someone else. Sometimes, Love is not possession. If you love her, you will love to see her happy. If you don't, maybe you still don't know what is love. Hence, maybe you both are not meant for each other.
Don't fret. You are still young, concentrate on what you should be concentrating and your Ms. Right will be appearing soon. Just let nature take its course and remember, don't force her to be in this relationship, because it won't do you or her or the relationship any good, but worst. Just leave her alone for sometime. If she is yours, she's yours no matter where you are. Else, you'll have to face the fact.
Changes in character don't come and happen overnight. It takes time, courage and determination. If you are genuinely wanting to change and let her know you changes, then give yourself some time too to prove to her that you have changed for the better when that day comes.
God bless you.
lavender_scent -
Wah Lao!!!
Goblin80.... Game over liao go and play some other game. You already had your chances, so stop saying that you love her so much this, so much that.
Be Happy that she's happy now and enjoying her freedom. Yah, I know I very heartless but that's what some people need. I am the farker of AA so I will F people when they need to be F-ed. Oops.... devil not to vulgar hor....
Also lucky you! She's so clear-cut. Break off this current relationship before starting a new one. Imagine how you look with a BIG GREEN CAP on your head.
I think smoking and drinking is a short-term solution for your bruised ego. I can feel that to lose a woman is a BIG BLOW to anyone's pride and for them to find a new guy so soon. I tell you all your pride and ego can throw away liao. BUT like I always say - Ego cannot be eaten so it's of no use. Get over it ! Go drink and smoke but remember when to stop because you ARE a MAN!!! Cannot stay down for too long.... You have a new WOMAN to hunt. -
guys, i din even contact her now cos i know dat she will get fustrated...but the problem now is that, i'm trying let things go but she's the one who bring up such a question when we tok..i know she's enjoying her life now, she's happy...n i told her simply dat i won't bother her abt such a thing but if there's anything dat she needs my help, i will be there for her...sometimes, she will just ask me questions like how have i been, wat have i been doin...i told her the fact of wat i've been doin then she get angry...wats the point of getting angry in the 1st place...rite?