How to move on?
-
I broke up with my ex last June, after many years of being together. He went overseas for his study this Jan. We remained pretty close in touch over ICQ. I am still nursing over the pain that had resulted from the breakup. He was my 1st love and (not only to me)the ONE for me. But all dat had to end. I was naturally crushed, defeated and devastated beyond words. Till now, I cant seem to be able to stop talking abt our past with him. Cant seem to forget the wonderful times of us being together. Cant seem to forget the times when we had stood together to even out any differences or any crisis or problems either one of us had encountered. I got to know this guy, X off the net a few months after our breakup. We went out soon after and I was bowled over by how chivalrous he was to me. I was smitten and could feel myself liking him. I wonder if I was on the "rebound" trip then. I tried testing his feelings for me, coz the way X behaved was if he likes me. The test results came out negative, being disappointed, forced myself to move on. I went for a month-long holiday and when I came back, I met up with X a few months later. He said appreciatively that I've grown prettier. :Þ We started flirting and teasing each other using sms-es. Till one fine day, he told me dat he has been seeing someone for the past few months. I was naturally crushed, again. but nevertheless, we kept in touch. He called me up for a chat one night, and he started telling me how unhappy he is with his gf and how he planned to break up with his gf after her impending bday. A few weeks later, he told me that he likes me. I was elated of course! We met up frequently after that, more than he met up with his gf. He said he treats me like a gf. But I know nothing will come out of this "relationship" if he is still with his gf. It's been almost a month since his gf's bday, I dont see him doing anything to end the r/s. In fact, I think they've gotten closer and me, the dumb one kept on waiting to see if he'll break up with his gf. I feel as if he is treatin me as a sub gf. I feel really used and angry. At times, I really felt like lashing out at him, to get out of my life and to stop toying with my feelings, but I cant bring myself to do it... Why am I being kept hanging in the air again, for the 2nd time in my life, the first being by my ex? Do I really like X or am do I just seeking for attention? I know I shouldnt be on such close terms with X, but I cant help it. He's just treats me so nicely when he is around me.
------------------
*** Nothing Lasts Forever *** -
You have no future with X.
Easier said than done, but go find someone else. There are so many friends you can make out there if you give yourself a chance.
-
Well, I knw what a girl wishes for is juz a guy who cares especially for her and knws exactly what she needs and longs for. But for your case, I feel that X is nt exactly sure who he loves, mayb he's juz treating u as his gf substitute, who knws? However, he may also b serious, this u had to find out yourself liao. I guess u shd observe and find out more abt this guy b4 making any decisions, try approaching his frds and c what they say, ok?Originally posted by oxygene:I broke up with my ex last June, after many years of being together. He went overseas for his study this Jan. We remained pretty close in touch over ICQ. I am still nursing over the pain that had resulted from the breakup. He was my 1st love and (not only to me)the ONE for me. But all dat had to end. I was naturally crushed, defeated and devastated beyond words. Till now, I cant seem to be able to stop talking abt our past with him. Cant seem to forget the wonderful times of us being together. Cant seem to forget the times when we had stood together to even out any differences or any crisis or problems either one of us had encountered. I got to know this guy, X off the net a few months after our breakup. We went out soon after and I was bowled over by how chivalrous he was to me. I was smitten and could feel myself liking him. I wonder if I was on the "rebound" trip then. I tried testing his feelings for me, coz the way X behaved was if he likes me. The test results came out negative, being disappointed, forced myself to move on. I went for a month-long holiday and when I came back, I met up with X a few months later. He said appreciatively that I've grown prettier. :Þ We started flirting and teasing each other using sms-es. Till one fine day, he told me dat he has been seeing someone for the past few months. I was naturally crushed, again. but nevertheless, we kept in touch. He called me up for a chat one night, and he started telling me how unhappy he is with his gf and how he planned to break up with his gf after her impending bday. A few weeks later, he told me that he likes me. I was elated of course! We met up frequently after that, more than he met up with his gf. He said he treats me like a gf. But I know nothing will come out of this "relationship" if he is still with his gf. It's been almost a month since his gf's bday, I dont see him doing anything to end the r/s. In fact, I think they've gotten closer and me, the dumb one kept on waiting to see if he'll break up with his gf. I feel as if he is treatin me as a sub gf. I feel really used and angry. At times, I really felt like lashing out at him, to get out of my life and to stop toying with my feelings, but I cant bring myself to do it... Why am I being kept hanging in the air again, for the 2nd time in my life, the first being by my ex? Do I really like X or am do I just seeking for attention? I know I shouldnt be on such close terms with X, but I cant help it. He's just treats me so nicely when he is around me.
By the way, u r an undergraduate, which tertiary institute r u frm, I'm juz graduated frm NUS with a bachelor in sci major in chemistry, mayb we r even in the same course...
------------------
Hope to b your frd forever, Mike signing off -
Witness :I cant seem to get away from him. It's like everytime I psyche myself not to sms him or think abt him, he'll call me or sms me. Just like he just called telling me he just felt like talkin to me at that point of time. I shot back, teasingly of course, dat he was just feeling bored dats y he called up. mikegk_76: U r rite, the way he looks at me, just melts me literally. He is the affectionate kind. But besides that, he is not everything I want in a guy. Even my frens who had seen him before clnt point out why isnt he the suitable kind for me. Hmm... i dont quite know how to explain that. Well, he did say if only he knew me earlier than his gf. Observe? Wat shld i look out for? We dont have any common frens though.
------------------
*** Nothing Lasts Forever ***
[This message has been edited by oxygene (edited 07 August 2001).] -
somehow..i think u should stop seeing X.after reading ur story,i felt dat u actually dun love X,"like",will be a more suitable word.
after u broke up with ur ex u met up with X.then u start having a gd impression on X. since you had said dat u loved ur ex so much,could it be possible dat u are actually making X a subsitute?? :confused
Probably,u sort of miz the feeling of being with someone ..then X came into the picture..and things juz seemed to go together...u noe dat kinda thingy.
Maybe u should stay away frm X,try leading a life of ur own,excluding X.Would u be happier?try it!
------------------
As LoNg As I SHaLL LiVe
I'LL HoLd U dEaR
AnD I wILL rEMiNiScE
Of OuR LoVe ALL ThRoUgH
ThE YeArS.... -
Oxy...
Unless you don't mind being a second fiddle, you just have to move on. Be strong, girl! -
well,all gd things muz cum to an end...so all i can sae is, cheer up gal!
-
There can ALWAYS be OTHERS who would treat you nicely...?Originally posted by oxygene:Why am I being kept hanging in the air again, for the 2nd time in my life, the first being by my ex?
Hard to say... Could be various reasons...? What's your age, blood group and star sign...?
Do I really like X or am do I just seeking for attention?
Hmm.... This one only you can decide...?
I know I shouldnt be on such close terms with X, but I cant help it. He's just treats me so nicely when he is around me.
PERSONALLY, if you don't like him having 2 gfs at one time and can't accept that... I think you should let him go... If he really love you then he'll come for you.... BUT... QUESTION him and make SURE that he knows what he's doing IF (when) he comes for you....
Just a gentle reminder... Does his current gf knows about you...? How would she feel if he breaks up with her...? If she don't know you, perhaps you would like to find out how are their relationship going on from her...? (If it's really 'getting worse' like he've mentioned...?)
Whatever the OUTCOME... I wish you LUCK... And remember THIS... In LIFE, you either FALL or CLIMB... There's really NO big deal about it...?
------------------
I have no 'friends' nor 'family'.
I hold no past and see not future...
These are just samples of illusions....
I don't exist, but I shall live ETERNITY..... DEVIL PHRASE II
ße COOL, NOT s¢rr¥.... -
i think u should give up on this so called potential relationship. Unless u dun mind being the third party.
-
1st of all, thanks for the advice given. I realli appreciate them all.
Well, I think i just miss having someone to call and share my happiness and woes. Miss having a hand to hold and someone to give reassuring hugs. I AM trying to stay away frm him, but i dont wish to lose this fren? Confusing i noe, i m just so confused now. All messed up and stuff like dat. *sigh*
His gf noes abt my existence, but how detailed, i m not sure... I am a Capricornian, O+. Wat do they tell u?
I noe i shldnt be the 3rd party, being a victim of it. X noes how strongly i feel abt it....
------------------
*** Nothing Lasts Forever ***
[This message has been edited by oxygene (edited 06 August 2001).] -
Hmm.... Whatever's the case, I think you shouldn't go into the relationship UNLESS there's a CLEAR CUT to the X and his gf... But even if that happens, I reckon there would be a >65% chance that things won't work out well....Originally posted by oxygene:1st of all, thanks for the advice given. I realli appreciate them all. Well, I think i just miss having someone to call and share my happiness and woes. Miss having a hand to hold and someone to give reassuring hugs. I AM trying to stay away frm him, but i dont wish to lose this fren? Confusing i noe, i m just so confused now. All messed up and stuff like dat. *sigh*
His gf noes abt my existence, but how detailed, i m not sure... I am a Capricornian, O+. Wat do they tell u?
I noe i shldnt be the 3rd party, being a victim of it. X noes how strongly i feel abt it....
I think what you need now is a FRIEND than a bf.... And perhaps at the same time you can think over what went wrong in the last relationship (NOT mood over it...)
Try keeping X as a friend too....? While you're doing that try understand X more and let X understands you better too....? How long have both of you just knew each other...? I bet it's not a very long period of time...? Who knows...? Maybe you'll be glad that you never take him as a bf as time goes on...? Hehheh... Perhaps you won't understand what I'm saying now... Anyway... If you REALLY MUST.... Get yourself ANOTHER bf... NOT X.... And while you're doing that MAKE SURE that you've got both your EX and X OVER WITH on your mind... So that things won't be so complicated.... You're NOT suitable to go into a new relationship with your past in your mind... It'll either your NEW relationship FAST down the drain OR in AGONY.... Take heed....
YOURS,
DEVIL1976~
------------------
I have no 'friends' nor 'family'.
I hold no past and see not future...
These are just samples of illusions....
I don't exist, but I shall live ETERNITY..... DEVIL PHRASE II
ße COOL, NOT s¢rr¥.... -
*** Nothing Lasts Forever ***
[This message has been edited by oxygene (edited 07 August 2001).] -
------------------
*** Nothing Lasts Forever ***
[This message has been edited by oxygene (edited 07 August 2001).] -
------------------
*** Nothing Lasts Forever ***
[This message has been edited by oxygene (edited 07 August 2001).] -
the only thing i cld possibly think of dat went wrg in my prev r/s is that his love for me had dampened... my ex told me that himself
Naturally i was devastated to hear dat. We were very loving and accommodating towards each other, the couple frens were envious of. Whatever unpleasantries dat we had, we brought it out to each other and tried to settle it as best as we cld. I noe dat i may probably not get over my ex dat soon, perhaps not even in the near future. I still love him a lot... Sad huh?
Hmm... I've known X for like almost a year? Not dat long I must admit. Hahaha... I do understand what u are tokin abt and u bet that i shall TRY to take heed. Thankx once again!!
------------------
*** Nothing Lasts Forever *** -
Hmmm... so many happened while i'm away busy working.... Perhaps that's why I always stay away from the affairs of the heart coz... oh well.Originally posted by oxygene:the only thing i cld possibly think of dat went wrg in my prev r/s is that his love for me had dampened... my ex told me that himself Naturally i was devastated to hear dat. We were very loving and accommodating towards each other, the couple frens were envious of. Whatever unpleasantries dat we had, we brought it out to each other and tried to settle it as best as we cld. I noe dat i may probably not get over my ex dat soon, perhaps not even in the near future. I still love him a lot... Sad huh?
Hmm... I've known X for like almost a year? Not dat long I must admit. Hahaha... I do understand what u are tokin abt and u bet that i shall TRY to take heed. Thankx once again!!
All these will take time lah. I took about 3-4 years before I'm ok. Life and Love are the same. One day you'll wake up and find that the past is really over and there only sunshine up ahead. It will come by and by. Meanwhile enjoy everything you have. Or you can get to know me -
i do hope that some things last forever....Originally posted by oxygene:the only thing i cld possibly think of dat went wrg in my prev r/s is that his love for me had dampened... my ex told me that himself Naturally i was devastated to hear dat. We were very loving and accommodating towards each other, the couple frens were envious of. Whatever unpleasantries dat we had, we brought it out to each other and tried to settle it as best as we cld. I noe dat i may probably not get over my ex dat soon, perhaps not even in the near future. I still love him a lot... Sad huh?
Hmm... I've known X for like almost a year? Not dat long I must admit. Hahaha... I do understand what u are tokin abt and u bet that i shall TRY to take heed. Thankx once again!!
anyway... we dun live forever, let us bring our memories with us as we leave this world. -
Life is very funny. Just when you thought that you cannot give your heart to anyone any more. Then the right one come along.
I cannot express it in words but I've seen it happens a few time. Just be sure you make the right choice.
I have many other friends who have made the wrong decisions and have to suffer for their choice. It's really sad and although I don't want to admit it, their experience have left many fears in me. In your case, I hope that things will go well with you.
Take care. -
BINGO!!! Hehheh...Originally posted by Klactovak:Hmmm... so many happened while i'm away busy working.... Perhaps that's why I always stay away from the affairs of the heart coz... oh well.
All these will take time lah. I took about 3-4 years before I'm ok. Life and Love are the same. One day you'll wake up and find that the past is really over and there only sunshine up ahead. It will come by and by. Meanwhile enjoy everything you have. Or you can get to know me -
In life, you either ENJOY or SUFFER...? You can't be a WINNER all the time...?Originally posted by Klactovak:Life is very funny. Just when you thought that you cannot give your heart to anyone any more. Then the right one come along.
I cannot express it in words but I've seen it happens a few time. Just be sure you make the right choice.
I have many other friends who have made the wrong decisions and have to suffer for their choice. It's really sad and although I don't want to admit it, their experience have left many fears in me. In your case, I hope that things will go well with you.
Take care.
------------------
I have no 'friends' nor 'family'.
I hold no past and see not future...
These are just samples of illusions....
I don't exist, but I shall live ETERNITY..... DEVIL PHRASE II
ße COOL, NOT s¢rr¥.... -
Think your EX was trying not to hurt you and 'avoiding' some topics.... Many things could have caused a LOVE to be dampened... It's not just as simple as that...Originally posted by oxygene:the only thing i cld possibly think of dat went wrg in my prev r/s is that his love for me had dampened... my ex told me that himself Naturally i was devastated to hear dat. We were very loving and accommodating towards each other, the couple frens were envious of. Whatever unpleasantries dat we had, we brought it out to each other and tried to settle it as best as we cld. I noe dat i may probably not get over my ex dat soon, perhaps not even in the near future. I still love him a lot... Sad huh?
Hmm... I've known X for like almost a year? Not dat long I must admit. Hahaha... I do understand what u are tokin abt and u bet that i shall TRY to take heed. Thankx once again!!
'Accomodating' comes in quite a couple of ways.... Is it more like 'tolerating' type....? Hmm... AnywayZ, think you most probably don't know what kinda feelings he was hiding inside of himself....
LEFT or RIGHT, you make the turn... If not? Just take a break...?
------------------
I have no 'friends' nor 'family'.
I hold no past and see not future...
These are just samples of illusions....
I don't exist, but I shall live ETERNITY..... DEVIL PHRASE II
ße COOL, NOT s¢rr¥.... -
I have never stop wondering abt how true it is regarding the dampening part ... I found out dat he 2-timed me, he claimed he didnt. Urgh!! Everything's so screwed up, i mean the truth. I dont think i will be able to find out the real TRUTH. No one can tell me, not him, not anyone else. Everytime i talk to him online, so many "WHY"s just keep popping up in my mind. I am just so bitter and disappointed abt r/s and everything else. I've grown to have split personalities - happy and bubbly outside, angry and bad-tempered at home. I hate what is happening to me. I hate how bitter I've become. I hate how short-tempered I've become. I want to stop being led by the nose by Love.
We were definitely accomodating, not the "tolerating" type. Whenever we argued, I'll provoke him till he's angry. Yet surprisingly whenever I see that he's angry, I'll feel so appeased.
He's one who seldom confide in others abt how he is feeling. He prefers to analyze and solve problems himself.
I am trying to move ... But I always get so bitter at every corners I made? DamnZ...
------------------
*** Nothing Lasts Forever *** -
Since u hav so many doubts abt him, don't hold on to the relationship, it's time u let go, trust me, u won't hav happiness hanging onto a relationship which u r unsure of...Originally posted by oxygene:I have never stop wondering abt how true it is regarding the dampening part ... I found out dat he 2-timed me, he claimed he didnt. Urgh!! Everything's so screwed up, i mean the truth. I dont think i will be able to find out the real TRUTH. No one can tell me, not him, not anyone else. Everytime i talk to him online, so many "WHY"s just keep popping up in my mind. I am just so bitter and disappointed abt r/s and everything else. I've grown to have split personalities - happy and bubbly outside, angry and bad-tempered at home. I hate what is happening to me. I hate how bitter I've become. I hate how short-tempered I've become. I want to stop being led by the nose by Love.
We were definitely accomodating, not the "tolerating" type. Whenever we argued, I'll provoke him till he's angry. Yet surprisingly whenever I see that he's angry, I'll feel so appeased.
He's one who seldom confide in others abt how he is feeling. He prefers to analyze and solve problems himself.
I am trying to move ... But I always get so bitter at every corners I made? DamnZ...
------------------
Hope to b your frd forever, Mike signing off -
I noe i should let go of the r/s, I've been trying for more than a year, but there are just so many, many memories that made me hold on and do otherwise...
It's only the towards the last part of our r/s dat i started doubting him. It's like I feel so useless, he had always been there for me throughout my ups and downs, and I cant do the same for him simply because he doesnt like to reveal himself a lot...
------------------
*** Nothing Lasts Forever *** -
sometimes , somethings , u have no choice but to forget n get on with life.