My problem with parents
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i have the same problem also! my parent they always finish their meal they sure put their own plate or bowl on the table, i mean just bring it to the kitchen later sure got people wash don't need my parent wash! i ever see once, my family people all very scare my 2nd sister! got one time my 2nd sister saw it and she very angry she scold my parent then my mother come and clear it away! now my brother also finding a house to move out liao! now left me everyday facing then be their maid! last time my parent very sporty one always went swimming, cycling, see show.... i don't know how come my parent now became so lazy!
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my sis has been grumbling abt moving out the moment she turns 21, which is this yr.Originally posted by tiger beer:i have the same problem also! my parent they always finish their meal they sure put their own plate or bowl on the table, i mean just bring it to the kitchen later sure got people wash don't need my parent wash! i ever see once, my family people all very scare my 2nd sister! got one time my 2nd sister saw it and she very angry she scold my parent then my mother come and clear it away! now my brother also finding a house to move out liao! now left me everyday facing then be their maid! last time my parent very sporty one always went swimming, cycling, see show.... i don't know how come my parent now became so lazy!
and buy a new hse at the expense of my parents'
in short, my parents pay, she live with her friends -
In short, your parents still calls the shotsOriginally posted by bismarck:my sis has been grumbling abt moving out the moment she turns 21, which is this yr.
and buy a new hse at the expense of my parents'
in short, my parents pay, she live with her friends
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dont tell me u sleep in the hall or toliet?Originally posted by bismarck:i show....can ...
anyone got extra room for me ? -
they never fail to.Originally posted by M©+square:In short, your parents still calls the shots
they also can shoot u down anytime
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Live with it la....it's not as if they are abusing you.Originally posted by bismarck:they never fail to.
they also can shoot u down anytime
If there's a need. Sit down and trash things out.
Sometimes it's just clearly that they don't understand us, my mom is like that too. But She's still my mom....and i have only one mom. -
Are you the youngest child at home? If yes! This is no choice! For what i ever see the youngest child always let people bully! i'm the youngest one at home i always wish that i can marry then can leave the house soon! and always think that i do so many good thing to my parent i wish that i have a good life in my future just only can think that way! just stay with your parent! i understant you! take it easy don't stress yourself!
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u are damn right i am the youngest childOriginally posted by tiger beer:Are you the youngest child at home? If yes! This is no choice! For what i ever see the youngest child always let people bully! i'm the youngest one at home i always wish that i can marry then can leave the house soon! and always think that i do so many good thing to my parent i wish that i have a good life in my future just only can think that way! just stay with your parent! i understant you! take it easy don't stress yourself! -
No matter what they do to u, in times of trouble...all wont siam one.
every family has their own problems....
Cheers -
Try don't to think think much!Originally posted by bismarck:u are damn right i am the youngest child -
yes u're rite 2!Originally posted by skysonic83:No matter what they do to u, in times of trouble...all wont siam one.
every family has their own problems....
Cheers
cheers
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in chinese does it meanOriginally posted by skysonic83:No matter what they do to u, in times of trouble...all wont siam one.
every family has their own problems....
Cheers
jia jia you ben nan nian de jing? -
Frankly, i don't know if you see it as a problem.....I think you just need to sort some things out on your own first.Originally posted by bismarck:in chinese does it mean
jia jia you ben nan nian de jing?
It's sometimes not your parents....but you.
Be yourself and don't get too personal....with them. -
hi guys first post!Originally posted by bismarck:I am really very unhappy abt my own parents.
Everything they blame me,ask me do everything in the house.
Like when the ice box is empty, no one will refill it until I do so. and no one volunteer to refill it and fill the ice tray with water.When i complain why no one does it,they all say it's me who is using all the ice.HELLO?!
When i take out some ice for a cup then pour some bottled green tea,they are the ones who always snatch it away and drink it till there is only 1 sip. when i make noise abt they drinking it all up,they will just say " see there is some left". fark there is some left.my dad does it even better, when i fill up a cup,he will be there waiting. then he just takes it and say " let me old man drink some"
then i have to refill ice and drink.once i tried something. i left the ice box empty in the late morning. in the evening, it was still empty.
sometimes when my sis wants some ice and she doesnt refill the ice box, she just takes some ice cubes frm the tray w/o emptying it.
it's not that i wont refill the ice box/tray, but it's just that no one would do it until i do it. Nor is it that i am unwilling to refill the drink. but it's NO ONE would do it until me.
when no one washes the dishes? and my dad happens to see me in the area,he just shouts at me.he still says " i am not scolding you,I am just making a point" when he wants me to do something it's called " everyone has a duty and this is yr duty". when he wants my sis to do it, he begs her to do it.
I am having my exams now,that day i complained that my sis is making too much noise and i am unable to study.they all gang up and scold me for unable to concentrate.last time when my sis was studying for her O level,A level and Uni exams, they all warned me not to make noise at all. whenever i complain abt the noise, my dad would always tell me long story abt when he was young. he would say " long time ago........" zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
this afternoon, i was having probs with my chem tutorials which i took out to do for a revision.i went downstairs to look for him and i sat on a chair next to him while he was watching tv,and the first thing he said was " u idiot,why u cannot keep still issit, much watch tv!" then i just interrupted him and said i got a Q,when he answered he used a much lighter tone.
then the rest of the day he keep cooking, i asked him for help and he told me to wait for him.just now i went down to watch tv while waiting for him and my mum shouted at me ask me why i never study and I told her i was waiting for my dad. But her tone of voice was hostile,so i was very unhappy and shouted back at her. for a long time i was never this angry. then my dad never say anything just scold me.i told him my mum dunno anything just shout at me.
all my dad cares is abt my sis,mum,his cooking and his dreams of becoming rich.
my sis has loads of shoes,bags and watches.and my mum allows her to buy it.i only have a pair of shoes and sandels which i go out to sch and out. my sis has sandels,boots,shoes,heels,almost 1 of each kind.bags ? loads of it. sling bags etc.
my bag is broken,so is my pencil case which is more than 6yrs.tattered and torn i dont dare to buy because i am afraid to get scolded for that and my dad's long philosophy(sp?).
that time i asked for raise of 30dollars pocket money, and then my sis asked for 100. and she asked for it because i asked for a raise too. and FYI it's not because she is in the U so she needs more money.
My sis always gets away with going out w/o telling. and she goes out much more often than me when i had holidays last yr.
remember my other thread here? i got called up during dinner with my friends to go home because he wrongly accused me of not telling him.sometimes he's deaf and blames me for not telling him properly. HELLO?! I am not the one who is 50yrs old ? And i can articulate and pronouce my words clear enough to my friends OK?!
stumbled across this site, while surfing the net one day
wow seems to be very popular......... anyways i dont live in s'pore, although i was born there I live in Australia now. Been visiting here a-lot now, reading a-lot of posts, I feel so touched Although i dont understand ur lingo anymore, well except the mandarin
Anyway bismark, I can share your frustration, cos your story sounds similar to mine, i really dont know how u feel, but maybe if i share my story it might be able to bang1 ni3?
My problem is with my mum. Since young, she just never has had a very high opinion of me. Always scolding, never good enough lor, nver smart enough lor, back then always screaming followed by beatings all the time.
Her fave line Yong4 ni3 tou2 nao3 xiang3! I try so hard : maths,piano, Chinese, eng. Has to 90+ fen she says. I could never ever get there. Never as good as a Xing jia po hai zi. That was the goal. I think back (im 19 now) Tong nian very tough man.
Dad neva used to help. Mum went to chinese school (nanyang girls) he used to say. Father very strict, mother very tough. Understand he pleaded. Make life easy he say. Despite the fact that she turned on him too - even till today - tonight 10 yrs later, still the same situation.
Schoolwork wasnt the only problem - It was the little things, like refill water jug or washing dishes or cleaning the house. I would try try so hard to get in ma's good graces........stay home on a friday night to clean the house, wipe every surface with wet cloth, vacuum with a vacuum cleaner (so loud made u go insane!) and then mop with soapi water and bucket - start at 5pm, by time finish 11pm. Want to go out with friends..... cannot. Too late, too tired. eat small bowl of noodles. Go have shower and then fall straight into bed soooo exhaustd.
Wake up in middle of night to screaming from downstairs. Next thing : hear this pair of feet pounding stairs and bedroom door being flung open. There is my mum in doorway screaming at me about bowl in snk. Now to a young kid this is very very frightening. Runs over to my bed rips blanket of me and throws me out of bed and pretty much throws me down the stairs to wash bowl.
I grew up very scared of parents after that. When you reach a certain age fear---->anger. Thats how i can understand what u write, bismark. I am oldest child i look at my younger brother, who dont have to do anything, Since so young i wash clothes for him, wash his dishes for him, slave and slave to clean the house. SO ANGRY. I had to do all this all the while i was studying for Aust's equivalent of ur A-lvls(final exams). So tired so exhausted every week. I had to study yet i still had to pull all of this every week.
I hadnt been going well at all. on verge of failing. This pressure at home....... so great - BUT i didnt complain. I stayed at school to study. Principal i knew well and so nice, so he kept a room at skool open for me where in the last few months b4 exams i would stay till 11pm at nite. I KNEW I WAS A SURVIVOR. Mum was ranting and raving 'bout how i was a failure and she was already disappointed. She didnt expect me to pass.
It was a struggle but i pulled it off. got abve average `75 % i was so happy. Went to ma ma. Happily showed my mark.
Not impressed. Not even a congratulations despite the fact i even got into sydney university.
Was so crushed
Not to mention tired. I got no energy. Not even to eat. Lost weight, and now i am sick.
Now got no energy to slave clean house, to do stuff i use todo. Not even to study. Thats why im here late at nite riteing this. I was also angry.
Was so angry, when i got my licence, i always trying to prove to her i was good enough driver to drive. She always hide keys becos i didnt clean house nemore and i crashed my car and nearly killed myself. Crashed into another car very very very fast speed. I very lucky one.
At the time it appeared she cared more abt car than eldest son. Was so bitter.
that was 2 yrs ago. Now i am still sick. So obvious i was sick, but no-one noticed except my ahyi. who took me to see doc cos i didnt knoe what to do.
Now im on the right road. Still a while to go, My point is : No matter what you feel - depressed upset sad angry : YOU ARE A SURVIVOR.
There are ppl out there that feel the same way u do. Dont think ure the only one. u and i go thu hell everyday, and u may think nobody may understand u, but u are a survivor - u get up everyday and still have the courage to face this......... Just do what uve been doing and ignore it. Think about yourself and what u want to achieve and eventually ull see past the pain -
hi guys first post!
stumbled across this site, while surfing the net one day
wow seems to be very popular......... anyways i dont live in s'pore, although i was born there I live in Australia now. Been visiting here a-lot now, reading a-lot of posts, I feel so touched Although i dont understand ur lingo anymore, well except the mandarin
Anyway bismark, I can share your frustration, cos your story sounds similar to mine, i really dont know how u feel, but maybe if i share my story it might be able to bang1 ni3?
My problem is with my mum. Since young, she just never has had a very high opinion of me. Always scolding, never good enough lor, nver smart enough lor, back then always screaming followed by beatings all the time.
Her fave line Yong4 ni3 tou2 nao3 xiang3! I try so hard : maths,piano, Chinese, eng. Has to 90+ fen she says. I could never ever get there. Never as good as a Xing jia po hai zi. That was the goal. I think back (im 19 now) Tong nian very tough man.
Dad neva used to help. Mum went to chinese school (nanyang girls) he used to say. Father very strict, mother very tough. Understand he pleaded. Make life easy he say. Despite the fact that she turned on him too - even till today - tonight 10 yrs later, still the same situation.
Schoolwork wasnt the only problem - It was the little things, like refill water jug or washing dishes or cleaning the house. I would try try so hard to get in ma's good graces........stay home on a friday night to clean the house, wipe every surface with wet cloth, vacuum with a vacuum cleaner (so loud made u go insane!) and then mop with soapi water and bucket - start at 5pm, by time finish 11pm. Want to go out with friends..... cannot. Too late, too tired. eat small bowl of noodles. Go have shower and then fall straight into bed soooo exhaustd.
Wake up in middle of night to screaming from downstairs. Next thing : hear this pair of feet pounding stairs and bedroom door being flung open. There is my mum in doorway screaming at me about bowl in snk. Now to a young kid this is very very frightening. Runs over to my bed rips blanket of me and throws me out of bed and pretty much throws me down the stairs to wash bowl.
I grew up very scared of parents after that. When you reach a certain age fear---->anger. Thats how i can understand what u write, bismark. I am oldest child i look at my younger brother, who dont have to do anything, Since so young i wash clothes for him, wash his dishes for him, slave and slave to clean the house. SO ANGRY. I had to do all this all the while i was studying for Aust's equivalent of ur A-lvls(final exams). So tired so exhausted every week. I had to study yet i still had to pull all of this every week.
I hadnt been going well at all. on verge of failing. This pressure at home....... so great - BUT i didnt complain. I stayed at school to study. Principal i knew well and so nice, so he kept a room at skool open for me where in the last few months b4 exams i would stay till 11pm at nite. I KNEW I WAS A SURVIVOR. Mum was ranting and raving 'bout how i was a failure and she was already disappointed. She didnt expect me to pass.
It was a struggle but i pulled it off. got abve average `75 % i was so happy. Went to ma ma. Happily showed my mark.
Not impressed. Not even a congratulations despite the fact i even got into sydney university.
Was so crushed
Not to mention tired. I got no energy. Not even to eat. Lost weight, and now i am sick.
Now got no energy to slave clean house, to do stuff i use todo. Not even to study. Thats why im here late at nite riteing this. I was also angry.
Was so angry, when i got my licence, i always trying to prove to her i was good enough driver to drive. She always hide keys becos i didnt clean house nemore and i crashed my car and nearly killed myself. Crashed into another car very very very fast speed. I very lucky one.
At the time it appeared she cared more abt car than eldest son. Was so bitter.
that was 2 yrs ago. Now i am still sick. So obvious i was sick, but no-one noticed except my ahyi. who took me to see doc cos i didnt knoe what to do.
Now im on the right road. Still a while to go, My point is : No matter what you feel - depressed upset sad angry : YOU ARE A SURVIVOR.
There are ppl out there that feel the same way u do. Dont think ure the only one. u and i go thu hell everyday, and u may think nobody may understand u, but u are a survivor - u get up everyday and still have the courage to face this......... Just do what uve been doing and ignore it. Think about yourself and what u want to achieve and eventually ull see past the pain -
so long~ -
Feel sorry for you but look on the bright side. Maybe your parent is so strict towards you is because you are still very young. Alot of parents are like that also but as you grow older they will change. I would advise some serious talking with your parent of course not those Tan2 Pan4 lol but some heart to heart talk. This might let them notice your situation. Although like you said you talk to them b4 already but people need time to change also. Hope that you can take it easy and ook on the bright side. Take care pal.
rgds
vksg -
Originally posted by vksg:
i posted a similar reply at my other thread, but honestly i blame my parents for my pitifully small social circle and lack of social skills
Feel sorry for you but look on the bright side. Maybe your parent is so strict towards you is because you are still very young. Alot of parents are like that also but as you grow older they will change. I would advise some serious talking with your parent of course not those Tan2 Pan4 lol but some heart to heart talk. This might let them notice your situation. Although like you said you talk to them b4 already but people need time to change also. Hope that you can take it easy and ook on the bright side. Take care pal.
rgds
[b]vksg[/b]
everytime tell me stay at home study, dont let me go out, everytime say go out become bad.
then everytime say my sec sch ppl all gangsters or idiots.
dont allow me to have icq,irc,
i go out for a few hours only they make noise, ask so much Q,
go where, with who,what u eat, watch waht movies
why eat dinner and watch movies need so long? walk ard very fun issit ? later go learn bad how ?
they always ask these few questions.HELLO?! on sunday my parents and my sis went out and left me at home to study for my exams and they go out for hours, even though they just go to ther supermarket.
are they trying to make me a hermit ? then complain i cant communicate with ppl.i dont self-program "communication" software so that i can communicate with others.
i use orchard road as a "benchmark"
the number of times i go orchard road in 1 year is less than what most of my friends go in 2 weeks.
they are really too much liao loh. -
I asked liao. she kept delaying it. she say 'later then say later then say"
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hEY there!
my deepest sympathies to u. But fret not as it would be only a matter of time u leave that farking wormhole.. as about sisters..... they were put into this world for only 1 reason .( to make ur life miserable). I went through the same ordeal as you.... guess parents no longer love their only SON in the family when they have fucking cute little girls who sits around on their bum all day, never lifting a finger. They treat their home as a hotel.... hanging around all week partying and never seem to get in the hot soup whilst u and me seems to get battered for the trival matters.
And whats with the green tea and the ice stuff!...... I have the same probs too! Btw do u happen to be TAY? lol i m 19 too....
It is Just Me? Or do the parents and siblings rivalry has hit an all time high!( Remember . do not give in to those spastic dictators.)
Lastly, hope u persist in ur fight for an unbias family.