Originally posted by bismarck:
I am really very unhappy abt my own parents.
Everything they blame me,ask me do everything in the house.
Like when the ice box is empty, no one will refill it until I do so. and no one volunteer to refill it and fill the ice tray with water.When i complain why no one does it,they all say it's me who is using all the ice.HELLO?!
When i take out some ice for a cup then pour some bottled green tea,they are the ones who always snatch it away and drink it till there is only 1 sip. when i make noise abt they drinking it all up,they will just say " see there is some left". fark there is some left.my dad does it even better, when i fill up a cup,he will be there waiting. then he just takes it and say " let me old man drink some"
then i have to refill ice and drink.once i tried something. i left the ice box empty in the late morning. in the evening, it was still empty.
sometimes when my sis wants some ice and she doesnt refill the ice box, she just takes some ice cubes frm the tray w/o emptying it.
it's not that i wont refill the ice box/tray, but it's just that no one would do it until i do it. Nor is it that i am unwilling to refill the drink. but it's NO ONE would do it until me.
when no one washes the dishes? and my dad happens to see me in the area,he just shouts at me.he still says " i am not scolding you,I am just making a point" when he wants me to do something it's called " everyone has a duty and this is yr duty". when he wants my sis to do it, he begs her to do it.
I am having my exams now,that day i complained that my sis is making too much noise and i am unable to study.they all gang up and scold me for unable to concentrate.last time when my sis was studying for her O level,A level and Uni exams, they all warned me not to make noise at all. whenever i complain abt the noise, my dad would always tell me long story abt when he was young. he would say " long time ago........" zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
this afternoon, i was having probs with my chem tutorials which i took out to do for a revision.i went downstairs to look for him and i sat on a chair next to him while he was watching tv,and the first thing he said was " u idiot,why u cannot keep still issit, much watch tv!" then i just interrupted him and said i got a Q,when he answered he used a much lighter tone.
then the rest of the day he keep cooking, i asked him for help and he told me to wait for him.just now i went down to watch tv while waiting for him and my mum shouted at me ask me why i never study and I told her i was waiting for my dad. But her tone of voice was hostile,so i was very unhappy and shouted back at her. for a long time i was never this angry. then my dad never say anything just scold me.i told him my mum dunno anything just shout at me.
all my dad cares is abt my sis,mum,his cooking and his dreams of becoming rich.
my sis has loads of shoes,bags and watches.and my mum allows her to buy it.i only have a pair of shoes and sandels which i go out to sch and out. my sis has sandels,boots,shoes,heels,almost 1 of each kind.bags ? loads of it. sling bags etc.
my bag is broken,so is my pencil case which is more than 6yrs.tattered and torn i dont dare to buy because i am afraid to get scolded for that and my dad's long philosophy(sp?).
that time i asked for raise of 30dollars pocket money, and then my sis asked for 100. and she asked for it because i asked for a raise too. and FYI it's not because she is in the U so she needs more money.
My sis always gets away with going out w/o telling. and she goes out much more often than me when i had holidays last yr.
remember my other thread here? i got called up during dinner with my friends to go home because he wrongly accused me of not telling him.sometimes he's deaf and blames me for not telling him properly. HELLO?! I am not the one who is 50yrs old ? And i can articulate and pronouce my words clear enough to my friends OK?!
hi guys first post!

stumbled across this site, while surfing the net one day

wow seems to be very popular......... anyways i dont live in s'pore, although i was born there

I live in Australia now. Been visiting here a-lot now, reading a-lot of posts, I feel so touched

Although i dont understand ur lingo anymore, well except the mandarin

Anyway bismark, I can share your frustration, cos your story sounds similar to mine, i really dont know how u feel, but maybe if i share my story it might be able to bang1 ni3?
My problem is with my mum. Since young, she just never has had a very high opinion of me. Always scolding, never good enough lor, nver smart enough lor, back then always screaming followed by beatings all the time.
Her fave line Yong4 ni3 tou2 nao3 xiang3! I try so hard : maths,piano, Chinese, eng. Has to 90+ fen she says. I could never ever get there. Never as good as a Xing jia po hai zi. That was the goal. I think back (im 19 now) Tong nian very tough man.
Dad neva used to help. Mum went to chinese school (nanyang girls) he used to say. Father very strict, mother very tough. Understand he pleaded. Make life easy he say. Despite the fact that she turned on him too - even till today - tonight 10 yrs later, still the same situation.
Schoolwork wasnt the only problem - It was the little things, like refill water jug or washing dishes or cleaning the house. I would try try so hard to get in ma's good graces........stay home on a friday night to clean the house, wipe every surface with wet cloth, vacuum with a vacuum cleaner (so loud made u go insane!) and then mop with soapi water and bucket - start at 5pm, by time finish 11pm. Want to go out with friends..... cannot. Too late, too tired. eat small bowl of noodles. Go have shower and then fall straight into bed soooo exhaustd.
Wake up in middle of night to screaming from downstairs. Next thing : hear this pair of feet pounding stairs and bedroom door being flung open. There is my mum in doorway screaming at me about bowl in snk. Now to a young kid this is very very frightening. Runs over to my bed rips blanket of me and throws me out of bed and pretty much throws me down the stairs to wash bowl.
I grew up very scared of parents after that. When you reach a certain age fear---->anger. Thats how i can understand what u write, bismark. I am oldest child i look at my younger brother, who dont have to do anything, Since so young i wash clothes for him, wash his dishes for him, slave and slave to clean the house. SO ANGRY. I had to do all this all the while i was studying for Aust's equivalent of ur A-lvls(final exams). So tired so exhausted every week. I had to study yet i still had to pull all of this every week.
I hadnt been going well at all. on verge of failing. This pressure at home....... so great - BUT i didnt complain. I stayed at school to study. Principal i knew well and so nice, so he kept a room at skool open for me where in the last few months b4 exams i would stay till 11pm at nite. I KNEW I WAS A SURVIVOR. Mum was ranting and raving 'bout how i was a failure and she was already disappointed. She didnt expect me to pass.
It was a struggle but i pulled it off. got abve average `75 % i was so happy. Went to ma ma. Happily showed my mark.
Not impressed. Not even a congratulations despite the fact i even got into sydney university.
Was so crushed

Not to mention tired. I got no energy. Not even to eat. Lost weight, and now i am sick.
Now got no energy to slave clean house, to do stuff i use todo. Not even to study. Thats why im here late at nite riteing this. I was also angry.
Was so angry, when i got my licence, i always trying to prove to her i was good enough driver to drive. She always hide keys becos i didnt clean house nemore and i crashed my car and nearly killed myself. Crashed into another car very very very fast speed. I very lucky one.
At the time it appeared she cared more abt car than eldest son. Was so bitter.
that was 2 yrs ago. Now i am still sick. So obvious i was sick, but no-one noticed except my ahyi. who took me to see doc cos i didnt knoe what to do.
Now im on the right road. Still a while to go, My point is : No matter what you feel - depressed upset sad angry : YOU ARE A SURVIVOR.
There are ppl out there that feel the same way u do. Dont think ure the only one. u and i go thu hell everyday, and u may think nobody may understand u, but u are a survivor - u get up everyday and still have the courage to face this......... Just do what uve been doing and ignore it. Think about yourself and what u want to achieve and eventually ull see past the pain
