Originally posted by tHUmbUP:
Yup...i think the whole point you want to make is. You've felt that you've screwed up the relationship between your parents and your bro, widening the gaps and building thicker 'walls'.
You can make it up just as long as anyone of them is still alive.
I'm not trying to curse anyone in your family or whatever.
It's important to understand that no matter what the man whom you're upset with is your brother and if he's not going to take initiative to build this relation in your family, then the place he's going to sleep and eat is not called Home...it's a House.
My guess is(correct me if i'm wrong)...your bro is a very independent person who doesn't really fall back on people's help during crisis. Therefore he felt there's no need to share his family's as they(family members) also didn't help him too.
Well...he's strong willed and negetively saying, he's narrow-minded.
Let me share my Point Of View.
Your home is going thru strain between one another.
And there are so so so sooo many unsaid, hidden emotions within each member of your family esp your brother.
My take to break down the walls, to close those gaps which had been there for so many years....yes yes it all will start with you,

I don't know how are you going to do it.
I can give you some suggestions until if you drop me some clues, info on what does you and your mom does.
maybe that could start some activities going.
My final word:
It's never ever easy. Let me say that agian....it's never easy to change a mindset, to change a person's perspective after such huge resentments built against your parents, could you imagine how many years??? ...from young till now.

Don't expect much from him if he doesn't initiate to draw himself closer to the family. Day by day, little by little...your consistent effort will pay off if you bother to shower attention onto him.
He may even find it disgusting or irritated....but the key word is peseverance and consistency.
I hope he'll one day, sit down alone and think about his life.
And i hope he'll remember what his parents and sister did for him and be grateful for it.
I hope that'll be the day when he wont take things for granted.
If you think what i'm typing is crap....you may ignore it.
But please remember these last words.
Never under-estimate the power of love and care that makes a HOME.
That's all.