can sum1 advice mi???
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NS has possible four effect on relationships.Originally posted by ger_ger:but my bf is stay out camp; driver.... i noe it is veri stressed up in there, but wat i sae, he dun seems 2 agree , semms like we r drifted... he owaes sae i dun understand n will not understand, true enuff i dun understand wat he goes tru, bt i feel so .... when he keeps saying i dun understand him, n tis few daes he kept drinkin to make himself high to 4gt abt ns life... once i tot of giving him a surrise n turn up to meet him wifout tellin him, bt when i msg him , i reached liao, he sae y i cum 4 wat... he veri busy.... perhaps, it's my fault tat i din tell him i'm cuming lor.... hiaxzzzzz .......
Guys enter - girl left alone, left for another guy.
Guy enter - girl missed him like hell, guy stress and affected relation.
Guy enter - guy use NS as escape and cover to ruin this relationship.
Guy enter - both missed each other like crazy - relationship blossom and grow further.
Be it whichever affect it may be, to fully understand and see the picture, you have to communicate and talk to him. What's use when he is blowing his top and you left wondering what is happening?
Find a good time to speak to him. Talk to him rationally and in proper tone - don't succumb to emotions so easily. Be strong and let your words flow. I mean its hell dangling in midair trying to guess what the other partner's thoughts - settle it once and for all.
Cheers -
Originally posted by ger_ger:but my bf is stay out camp; driver.... i noe it is veri stressed up in there, but wat i sae, he dun seems 2 agree , semms like we r drifted... he owaes sae i dun understand n will not understand, true enuff i dun understand wat he goes tru, bt i feel so .... when he keeps saying i dun understand him, n tis few daes he kept drinkin to make himself high to 4gt abt ns life... once i tot of giving him a surrise n turn up to meet him wifout tellin him, bt when i msg him , i reached liao, he sae y i cum 4 wat... he veri busy.... perhaps, it's my fault tat i din tell him i'm cuming lor.... hiaxzzzzz .......
If he doesn't tell you, how can you understand?? -
he gt tell mi bt owaes the 1/2 wae tru, he dun wan 2 sae liaozzzz..... & when tings rturn out veri bad den he will take time 2 tell mi. initially when he is in stay in camp, he is better lorz cos i tink bcos the reason is he stay in mah den he dun wan waste time 2 quarrel.. cos time is precious.but when he posted 2 a stay out camp, he like tat liaozzzz..... hot tempered, scold mi sumtimes even usin vulgarities..... n mayb using mi as an atm machine & a cu qi tong... i dun noe..... cos $350 is not enuff 4 him... cos he gt bike installment 2 pay....Originally posted by Parka: If he doesn't tell you, how can you understand?? -
r everyguy who go NS will change???? in wat ways ? if change 2 better person ? i can say tat's absolute correct. NS change my way life 2 a better person indeed. more responsible although makes mistakes but willingly 2 learn more. a good attitude towards workforce in the future. not so lazy anymore. get things done independently & sharpy on time. sense of belonging & urgency in some situation.Originally posted by ger_ger:hihi, every1 who sees tis post.... my bf begins to treat mi veri differently ever since he went for NS.. he begin to be veri hot temper and he doen't tink of hw i feel.. i feel so sad n terrible when he scolds mi and when once he lied to mi.. i feel so sad.... i dun noe hw to discribe my feelings into wrds, bt i juz feel so terrible...tis daes i juz break dwn n cry.....
r everyguy who go NS will change????
But from my pt of view in regards 2 ur prob, i tink he's trying 2 avoid u ? or he's having lot's of stress in him ? talk 2 him more ! understand him. i dont see lots of NS guys dumped their gf during BMT. i can say Zero ok. -
Originally posted by ger_ger:hihi, every1 who sees tis post.... my bf begins to treat mi veri differently ever since he went for NS.. he begin to be veri hot temper and he doen't tink of hw i feel.. i feel so sad n terrible when he scolds mi and when once he lied to mi.. i feel so sad.... i dun noe hw to discribe my feelings into wrds, bt i juz feel so terrible...tis daes i juz break dwn n cry.....
r everyguy who go NS will change???? 
maybe he having affair with his BMT buddy? no lah.....some people find NS physically or mentally taxing i guess, patience runs low n tempers run high. btw, wat did he lie 2 u abt? -
NS is part and parcel of every singaporean guy's life. I do agree that NS change people but i feel tt its changing for the better.Originally posted by ger_ger:hihi, every1 who sees tis post.... my bf begins to treat mi veri differently ever since he went for NS.. he begin to be veri hot temper and he doen't tink of hw i feel.. i feel so sad n terrible when he scolds mi and when once he lied to mi.. i feel so sad.... i dun noe hw to discribe my feelings into wrds, bt i juz feel so terrible...tis daes i juz break dwn n cry.....
r everyguy who go NS will change????
I feel tt ur bf has not committed himself fully to his NS life yet. He cant put down the freedom of being in the outside world and he feels like he is being forced to do things in his camp. I think he has not treated u like this before he was in NS, rite?
He cant put down his life outside so everytime there is something he gets easily frustrated. He cant commit to things now. I too used to be a driver and I had to stay in! So why is he complaining abt things tt u haf done for him? Its not ur fault, u are just trying to understand things which is ok and trying to do ur part as a gf.
Mayb he has some reasons? Well, i think u shld ask him and find out. If he stil dun want to tell, ask urself this: Is it worth it being unappreciated when u can be appreciated better elsewhere?
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Perhaps if u can try to tolerate his temper, after all, ur bf maybe stress over certain problems or unabled to cope with financial difficulties, just give him some time to sort out things himself. If u can't tolerate his temper on u, just tell him in calm attitude.
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me think u can let him know his drastic change has been sorely noticed n ask him wasup.Originally posted by ger_ger:hihi, every1 who sees tis post.... my bf begins to treat mi veri differently ever since he went for NS.. he begin to be veri hot temper and he doen't tink of hw i feel.. i feel so sad n terrible when he scolds mi and when once he lied to mi.. i feel so sad.... i dun noe hw to discribe my feelings into wrds, bt i juz feel so terrible...tis daes i juz break dwn n cry.....
r everyguy who go NS will change???? -
I beg to differ... yes many changed for da better, but some got worse... sad but true...Originally posted by shaunlaw:NS is part and parcel of every singaporean guy's life. I do agree that NS change people but i feel tt its changing for the better.
I feel tt ur bf has not committed himself fully to his NS life yet. He cant put down the freedom of being in the outside world and he feels like he is being forced to do things in his camp. I think he has not treated u like this before he was in NS, rite?
He cant put down his life outside so everytime there is something he gets easily frustrated. He cant commit to things now. I too used to be a driver and I had to stay in! So why is he complaining abt things tt u haf done for him? Its not ur fault, u are just trying to understand things which is ok and trying to do ur part as a gf.
Mayb he has some reasons? Well, i think u shld ask him and find out. If he stil dun want to tell, ask urself this: Is it worth it being unappreciated when u can be appreciated better elsewhere?
Anywae, since he NO stay in... shld be very FORTUNATE... I now still in NS... I can notice changes in my behaviour... its all in da mentality... I dunno how long yr BF is in... BUT if its not even halfwae thru... Its understandable y he liddat... not used to da changes...
As many said... have a GOOD tok wif him... try to convince him to confide in U... Communication is important... sorrie I cant give anymore good "advices: I can tink of... juz woke up... mind blank... -
tell ur bf to fark off lar
vocation driver very stressed out?
lampa he is mentally weak
what about all those who chiong all day or nite?
yar he is so stressed in tonner sumore nowadays have aircon
if he not feeling well just reported it and he dun need to drive on that particular day
stressed?
my arse! -
there was once i realise tat he's phonebk gt new numbers, n he used guy name to replace it when actuali it's a ger lorz.... i realise it cos tat person msg him mah n she oso put her name in, tats hw i find out. .when i ask him, wat is tis? he told mi tat tis ger is to intro 2 his fren de lorz,...... he dun wan 2 tel mi is bcos he intend 2 gif tat number 2 his fren tat nite n plus he dun wan mi to ani hw tink tats y he din tell mi...... bt all i tink tat tis reason is veri lame leh.... it may b tru lar... i dunoe... n ever since tis incident, i seem 2 lose trust in him, n i dun haf ani more confidence in myslef liaozz.... i owaes tot 2 myself. did i do anyting wrg or did i make him unhappie????? y is he treatin mi tis wae?????Originally posted by boy in blues: maybe he having affair with his BMT buddy? no lah.....some people find NS physically or mentally taxing i guess, patience runs low n tempers run high. btw, wat did he lie 2 u abt? -
is not tat i din let him noe lor, nt when i tell him, he will threw up his temper n sumtimes he will sae tings 2 hurt mi although it's nt his intention.....he will owase sae i dun understand de.....Originally posted by boy in blues:me think u can let him know his drastic change has been sorely noticed n ask him wasup. -
NS is a tough time for guys... more often then not we get screwed by our superiors and don't have a chance to voice out... so may be yr boyfriend is feeling very frustrated, that's why he vent his frustrations on you but watever it is, it's still wrong for him to take it out on you...but rem these three words "GIVE AND TAKE" be a bit more tolerant of his behavior and find an oppotunity to tell him how u feel and hopefully things will work out between u all.... good luck!
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hai ger ger,
I'm just speaking from my heart, hope its ok. Sometimes when guys go NS, it can be a big change for em. Some come out and mold emselves well, like physically and mentally more matured; can take on challenges like a man. Some, end up with bad company & became worse, grumpy, think they veri chiam. Usually commandos or guards are very very pressurised esp. physically. But nt all the units are very siong. My guy frens used to be from diff. camps and hear em complain day in day out.
At times, in NS. influenced by frens, they go for "greener pastures". Approach other gals during their one - two hour outings or lie that they have to stay late or guard duties. But really ger, he has his pressures so does everyone else! Yes, it's our duty as a gf to take care of the guy and also help him with his burdens. But as gals, we got to also be perceptive: Is e gal be taken for granted or even for a ride? What has changed...any small changes can be veri significant...even changin his brand of cigarettes! I can't deny his excuse about the ger no seemed veri lame...but let's 1st give him a benefit of a doubt.
I am sure he has his off days. On his off day when he sleep enuf alreadi, find some time to have a good talk with him. If he really treasure e relationship he will listen to wat u have to say, do not accuse him 1st, be tactful ya.
I know now NS days are easier than those days b4. Every guy of the older generation will tell u that...and erm, he's a driver right, he get to go home right? How abt those stuck in camp day in day out? Those go field trips and practices whole week long? Try not to add too much pressure on him yet, give urself some time to sort things out also. One ting though, if u really no money telll him so, stop providing money for him....every guy go through NS here in S'pore unless for some special reasons, if they can make thru it so can he........ -
i cant help but suspect he might b 2-timin u. y dun u ask him 2 intro dat fren 2 u? no harm if he reali innocent. meet new fren oni mahOriginally posted by ger_ger:is not tat i din let him noe lor, nt when i tell him, he will threw up his temper n sumtimes he will sae tings 2 hurt mi although it's nt his intention.....he will owase sae i dun understand de..... -
If you don't like him, just leave him...?Originally posted by ger_ger:he gt tell mi bt owaes the 1/2 wae tru, he dun wan 2 sae liaozzzz..... & when tings rturn out veri bad den he will take time 2 tell mi. initially when he is in stay in camp, he is better lorz cos i tink bcos the reason is he stay in mah den he dun wan waste time 2 quarrel.. cos time is precious.but when he posted 2 a stay out camp, he like tat liaozzzz..... hot tempered, scold mi sumtimes even usin vulgarities..... n mayb using mi as an atm machine & a cu qi tong... i dun noe..... cos $350 is not enuff 4 him... cos he gt bike installment 2 pay.... -
Originally posted by ger_ger:hihi, every1 who sees tis post.... my bf begins to treat mi veri differently ever since he went for NS.. he begin to be veri hot temper and he doen't tink of hw i feel.. i feel so sad n terrible when he scolds mi and when once he lied to mi.. i feel so sad.... i dun noe hw to discribe my feelings into wrds, bt i juz feel so terrible...tis daes i juz break dwn n cry.....
r everyguy who go NS will change????
breakoff wif him lah. -
it's not a prob of like or dun like him,he changed his attitude 2wards her leh,she still love him though,but she's juz sad tt her bf treat her like tt mah...maybe the words u've used is 2 harsh lor...Originally posted by Devil1976:If you don't like him, just leave him...? -
Then tok to him abt it... dun keep assuming... U won't no wats goin on... toking out wif him can help clarify dis matter... IF U keep tinking da "worst case scenarios..." I can tell U... its ONE step closer to U 2 breaking up... & in da end U only have yrself to blame for juz tinking intead of finding out...Originally posted by ger_ger:there was once i realise tat he's phonebk gt new numbers, n he used guy name to replace it when actuali it's a ger lorz.... i realise it cos tat person msg him mah n she oso put her name in, tats hw i find out. .when i ask him, wat is tis? he told mi tat tis ger is to intro 2 his fren de lorz,...... he dun wan 2 tel mi is bcos he intend 2 gif tat number 2 his fren tat nite n plus he dun wan mi to ani hw tink tats y he din tell mi...... bt all i tink tat tis reason is veri lame leh.... it may b tru lar... i dunoe... n ever since tis incident, i seem 2 lose trust in him, n i dun haf ani more confidence in myslef liaozz.... i owaes tot 2 myself. did i do anyting wrg or did i make him unhappie????? y is he treatin mi tis wae????? -
Harsh..? We shall see...?Originally posted by curad:it's not a prob of like or dun like him,he changed his attitude 2wards her leh,she still love him though,but she's juz sad tt her bf treat her like tt mah...maybe the words u've used is 2 harsh lor... 