why doesn't she ever know just how much i care for her?
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Muz wake up and smell the thorns this time.... No more slip ups...Life must go on...
I can't destroy myself anymore... -
Glad u are in the real world now brotherOriginally posted by life^stop: Muz wake up and smell the thorns this time.... No more slip ups...Life must go on...
I can't destroy myself anymore...
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come on life^stop, tis gal u r missing isnt worthy of u. Let go of her, pick urself up, pick up new hobbies, pby u will meet some nice gal along the way.
even wif new hobbies, new frds, u may at times misses her too. but every step u take to let go of her is an effort. no point burying urself in this situation, move on wifout her. U DESERVE BETTER! -
Brudder... i cant agree more.....Originally posted by WinBoi84:Sometimes I really think all girls sux...
>wonder whether is any good girl still exist in this world<
Girls
Like to make use of guys especially when she knows u are fond of her. U can invest all your love, spend all your energy, spend all your money, spent all your times on her. It's still useless...
When u are no longer haf the value of being used, she will "dump" u...
But u cannot get over her becoz u really love/like her yet she treats u in such cruel ways...
Time flies - seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, years later...
And one fine day, u finally get over her. She appears before your eyes once again...
Now your feeling is back and u are sure that u truthly like/love her...
She makes u gian gian, thinking that now she likes u, she wants u to be her bf/husband but u are sure she is the only one u love most in your life...
Next u can invest all your love, spend all your energy, spend all your money, spent all your times on her...
And it starts all over again...
WTF does good girl hidding...?
In the first place ask yourself, is there really good girl exist in this cruel and realistic world...?
I am lke you sia... but not as long as you...
Been already more than half a yr...
Everything when i made up my mind and on e verge of not going to contach her and think abt her anymore... Jsut nice just nice, she will send a nice sms to me... Den will make me gian gian again..
WTf........ I really hate this feelings... been happen already 3 time...
So i tell myself, this time its going to be e same again...
But e tot of maybe there is a hope that we can be together makes me gian gian again...
And e cycle carry on again... WTf... right...
Long time ago i learn sth. And that is nv been a 'yes-man' Oherwise , e girl will find u bored . And when a cute guy comes along.. Woof and she is gone! -
What is the situation now?
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hi dere.. try not to think so much.. not worth it.. try to do other things.. keep urself busy, pal!! try going out with ya friends.. etc.. or as rebel said, go train for ur ns.. i truely understand ur feelings.. been dere, done tat.. you will never forget her(memories will always be dere.. i always hope i will lose my memory, so no need tink so much.. hahaha..
), sad to say BUT ur feeling for her will decrease day by day.. all we can give u is advice, the rest is up to u.. u are not alone.. dere are people more worse den u!! anyway, u will soon get over her.. sooner or later.. she will learn to appreciate u one day if it was meant to be..×·.¸.·¨» n0 m4tteR waD * |iFe mUz g0 oN * stOp p0nDering In e p4sT * waDz uRz * iS uRz * U cuN faKe it * waD isN't * isN't * u CuN f0rCe it * liFe mUz g0 oN,, letting go is hard, i understand BUT if she doesnt know how are you feeling, why make urself so sad when she doesnt even care.. u maybe be sad, she is happy leading her own life, is it worth it?? think about it.. all the best.. dont think too much... if you need someone to talk to, u can always private msg me.. cheers!! X & L.. i understand hw u feel.. was in a similar situation too.. 
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WHY WHY WHY .............. Everybody is having problem with this !!!! I now personally i having this problem too and it drag for many years already.Originally posted by [ X ] & [ L ]:Brudder... i cant agree more.....
I am lke you sia... but not as long as you...
Been already more than half a yr...
Everything when i made up my mind and on e verge of not going to contach her and think abt her anymore... Jsut nice just nice, she will send a nice sms to me... Den will make me gian gian again..
WTf........ I really hate this feelings... been happen already 3 time...
So i tell myself, this time its going to be e same again...
But e tot of maybe there is a hope that we can be together makes me gian gian again...
And e cycle carry on again... WTf... right...
Long time ago i learn sth. And that is nv been a 'yes-man' Oherwise , e girl will find u bored . And when a cute guy comes along.. Woof and she is gone!
really heartache . Can anyone tell me how to put an end to this !!! -
hey sorry to interupt... but i guess there is still some gd gals ard... n i think all this probs... not oni guys got the probz.. some gals r facing the same prob as well...Originally posted by WinBoi84:Sometimes I really think all girls sux...
>wonder whether is any good girl still exist in this world<
Girls Like to make use of guys especially when she knows u are fond of her. U can invest all your love, spend all your energy, spend all your money, spent all your times on her. It's still useless...
When u are no longer haf the value of being used, she will "dump" u...
But u cannot get over her becoz u really love/like her yet she treats u in such cruel ways...
Time flies - seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, years later...
And one fine day, u finally get over her. She appears before your eyes once again...
Now your feeling is back and u are sure that u truthly like/love her...
She makes u gian gian, thinking that now she likes u, she wants u to be her bf/husband but u are sure she is the only one u love most in your life...
Next u can invest all your love, spend all your energy, spend all your money, spent all your times on her...
And it starts all over again...
WTF does good girl hidding...?
In the first place ask yourself, is there really good girl exist in this cruel and realistic world...? -
Hi life^stop,
I am in the same shoe as you three years ago. That was why I feel that it's time for me to tell you how you are actually feeling subsconsciously in your heart.
In my opinion, you does not love or like the girl. You do not even have the basic care for her. I apologise if I am too harse but that is exactly how I feel. You only love yourself. You only think of how you are feeling instead of being in her shoe. You have expectations in her and if she cannot meet your expectations, you blame her. Does this consider love or care? I really doubt so.
Do you expect her to be always around waiting for your sms 24 hours everyday? What do you expect her to do? Instead of blaming her, why don't you understand her? Remember that you are just her friend. Even if you are her bf, she will feel pressurised by your behaviour. It is clear cut that she just wan to be a normal friend with you. Nobody knows what will happen in the future but at least for now, she just want to be your normal friend. But you still keep on expecting more from her until she feel that she cannot take it anymore.
I can understand how you are feeling but I feel that you should grow up and be more matured in handling your emotions. Instead of letting your emotions overcome your logical thoughts, please be more understanding.
From your previous message, I see that you have watched "My Sassy Girl". But do you really understand the message behind it?
It is not just "Fate" or "Destined to be". It shows how a guy loves a girl unconditionally without any expectations. The girl tell him to wait for two years at the tree and even after the two years, the girl did not appear. But yet the guy did not blame her. He can understand her feelings and continue to look for her. Did he ever expect anything from her like what you do? The answer is a straight "NO".
Did he blame her for not contacting him over the years, the answer is also "NO". This is what I called love and true care. Even if they are just very good friends, this is what a good friend should do.
At least as a friend, you shouldn't expect her to reciprocate to your feelings if she doesn't feel the same way as you do. Give her time and stand by her whenver she needs you. Of course unconditionally if you really care for her. -
hai, u cant do anything, u ignore his/her msg.. dun reply then this cycle will end!! Dont drag le.. understand how u feel.. mi had been there before.. mine oso drag for very long.. think now end liao..Originally posted by archie84:WHY WHY WHY .............. Everybody is having problem with this !!!! I now personally i having this problem too and it drag for many years already. really heartache . Can anyone tell me how to put an end to this !!! -
sad to say, i am one of those gurls.. hai..Originally posted by johyl:hey sorry to interupt... but i guess there is still some gd gals ard... n i think all this probs... not oni guys got the probz.. some gals r facing the same prob as well... -
there is a risk involved that after investing much time in a slow relationship, that both do not end up together..impatient males usually prefer to know results sooner..but they may not be able to accept a negative outcome either.Originally posted by darrendon:Hi life^stop,
I am in the same shoe as you three years ago. That was why I feel that it's time for me to tell you how you are actually feeling subsconsciously in your heart.
In my opinion, you does not love or like the girl. You do not even have the basic care for her. I apologise if I am too harse but that is exactly how I feel. You only love yourself. You only think of how you are feeling instead of being in her shoe. You have expectations in her and if she cannot meet your expectations, you blame her. Does this consider love or care? I really doubt so.
Do you expect her to be always around waiting for your sms 24 hours everyday? What do you expect her to do? Instead of blaming her, why don't you understand her? Remember that you are just her friend. Even if you are her bf, she will feel pressurised by your behaviour. It is clear cut that she just wan to be a normal friend with you. Nobody knows what will happen in the future but at least for now, she just want to be your normal friend. But you still keep on expecting more from her until she feel that she cannot take it anymore.
I can understand how you are feeling but I feel that you should grow up and be more matured in handling your emotions. Instead of letting your emotions overcome your logical thoughts, please be more understanding.
From your previous message, I see that you have watched "My Sassy Girl". But do you really understand the message behind it?
It is not just "Fate" or "Destined to be". It shows how a guy loves a girl unconditionally without any expectations. The girl tell him to wait for two years at the tree and even after the two years, the girl did not appear. But yet the guy did not blame her. He can understand her feelings and continue to look for her. Did he ever expect anything from her like what you do? The answer is a straight "NO".
Did he blame her for not contacting him over the years, the answer is also "NO". This is what I called love and true care. Even if they are just very good friends, this is what a good friend should do.
At least as a friend, you shouldn't expect her to reciprocate to your feelings if she doesn't feel the same way as you do. Give her time and stand by her whenver she needs you. Of course unconditionally if you really care for her. -
Won't you feel stupid if you waited two years at the tree? Is the guy in the story that blind?Originally posted by darrendon:Hi life^stop,
From your previous message, I see that you have watched "My Sassy Girl". But do you really understand the message behind it?
It is not just "Fate" or "Destined to be". It shows how a guy loves a girl unconditionally without any expectations. The girl tell him to wait for two years at the tree and even after the two years, the girl did not appear. But yet the guy did not blame her. He can understand her feelings and continue to look for her. Did he ever expect anything from her like what you do? The answer is a straight "NO".
Did he blame her for not contacting him over the years, the answer is also "NO". This is what I called love and true care. Even if they are just very good friends, this is what a good friend should do.
At least as a friend, you shouldn't expect her to reciprocate to your feelings if she doesn't feel the same way as you do. Give her time and stand by her whenver she needs you. Of course unconditionally if you really care for her.
Another thing is that life^stop don't even have chance to be her casual friend...let alone, quoting your words, "stand by her"... -
My meaning of "stand by her" is to be always available for her when she need a friend to talk to or help her. This is what I called true friendship. To most of the guys, it may seems stupid but in my point of view, this is true care and love without expectations.
And in the first place, she did not even specify that she does not want to be friend with him again. It is just his own assumptions. I believe that people who are matured enough will have not this kind of thinking of "I don't want to be friend with you" as this may seems so ridiculous for working adults. -
My meaning of "stand by her" is to be always available for her when she need a friend to talk to or help her. This is what I called true friendship. To most of the guys, it may seems stupid but in my point of view, this is true care and love without expectations.
And in the first place, she did not even specify that she does not want to be friend with him again. It is just his own assumptions. I believe that people who are matured enough will have not this kind of thinking of "I don't want to be friend with you" as this may seems so ridiculous for working adults. -
Originally posted by darrendon:
You read carefully all his past posts...she dun bother to reply to his sms at all...
And in the first place, she did not even specify that she does not want to be friend with him again. It is just his own assumptions. I believe that people who are matured enough will have not this kind of thinking of "I don't want to be friend with you" as this may seems so ridiculous for working adults.[/b]
Same thing happened to me before.My relationship with this gal was fine until she got a boyfriend who frowned on her having any sort of contact with me...Consequently,she treats me as a complete non-entity...
Anyway,since she treats me this way,she don't exist in my life anymore and I am alive and kicking. -
Originally posted by darrendon:
You read carefully all his past posts...she dun bother to reply to his sms at all...
And in the first place, she did not even specify that she does not want to be friend with him again. It is just his own assumptions. I believe that people who are matured enough will have not this kind of thinking of "I don't want to be friend with you" as this may seems so ridiculous for working adults.[/b]
Same thing happened to me before.My relationship with this gal was fine until she got a boyfriend who frowned on her having any sort of contact with me...Consequently,she treats me as a complete non-entity...
Anyway,since she treats me this way,she don't exist in my life anymore and I am alive and kicking. -
eh harlow ... i juz finish reading the whole 9 pages ....
N i have decide to get over a ger liao ......
i couldn't really decide at first ... but i got inspire by all ur posts ...
i shall not bothered u guys with the detail .... but thanz for the advice (although it's not meant for mi ) anyway ...
gd luck to u ~ life^stop ~!~ -
sad to say too...Originally posted by sNicKeRdOodLe:sad to say, i am one of those gurls.. hai..
i m one of them also...
thats y when i saw this post.. i think i got to speak up.. not all gals r bad lor.. we also face prob which guys faced... haiz.. *hurts* -
Hi Doenitz,
Everybody have different perspective and interpretations of a good friend. My interpretation of being a good friend is to be available for him/her when times he/she needs me or when he/she needs a listening ear.
To me, by thinking that she always have to reply to his sms is defnitely not the right thinking. Maybe she is busy at that particular moment or maybe she could have her own reasons and difficulties that she does not want to let anybody know. She has her own right. There is a lot of "Maybe" and it is not being fair enough to come out with the conclusion that " she does not want to be his friend anymore". All this is only his assumptions.
I believe that as time goes by and when he read back his message when he is more calm, he will know what I mean by always assuming things that might not be true. It is definitely wrong to assume anyone else thinking without any significant proof. This is just like framing someone by assumming that he/she feels this way and he/she cannot even speak for herself. This often leads to misunderstanding between good friends and couples.
I do not deny the fact that she may be avoiding him for the time being but this is also for his own good. She may felt that he has expectations in her in which she cannot reciprocate. That was why she choose to leave him alone to settle down his thought first rather than him being more and more paranoid. -
I do not deny that I am just like him few years back but I was lucky enough to have my friends scolding me since I am over paranoid until being too demanding. I think I am much worse than him during that time. Not just towards one friend but two very good friends. That was why I learn to understand and view such situation in a different prespective.
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Certainly hope so...But it seems to me that she is treating him as a complete non entity...Originally posted by darrendon:Hi Doenitz,
Everybody have different perspective and interpretations of a good friend. My interpretation of being a good friend is to be available for him/her when times he/she needs me or when he/she needs a listening ear.
To me, by thinking that she always have to reply to his sms is defnitely not the right thinking. Maybe she is busy at that particular moment or maybe she could have her own reasons and difficulties that she does not want to let anybody know. She has her own right. There is a lot of "Maybe" and it is not being fair enough to come out with the conclusion that " she does not want to be his friend anymore". All this is only his assumptions.
I believe that as time goes by and when he read back his message when he is more calm, he will know what I mean by always assuming things that might not be true. It is definitely wrong to assume anyone else thinking without any significant proof. This is just like framing someone by assumming that he/she feels this way and he/she cannot even speak for herself. This often leads to misunderstanding between good friends and couples.
I do not deny the fact that she may be avoiding him for the time being but this is also for his own good. She may felt that he has expectations in her in which she cannot reciprocate. That was why she choose to leave him alone to settle down his thought first rather than him being more and more paranoid. -
aniwae.. after we said so much.. dun u all tink he dun reply animore?? wad happened?? vanished into thin air?? haiz.. juz kidding..
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ya. nv make any false assumptions abt any situation unless allowed. thats what happens to me in the past too. i had a pretty nice fren in sec2. we get on good and ppl spreads rumours that we are together. despite all those we are still frens.Originally posted by darrendon:To me, by thinking that she always have to reply to his sms is defnitely not the right thinking. Maybe she is busy at that particular moment or maybe she could have her own reasons and difficulties that she does not want to let anybody know. She has her own right. There is a lot of "Maybe" and it is not being fair enough to come out with the conclusion that " she does not want to be his friend anymore". All this is only his assumptions.
I believe that as time goes by and when he read back his message when he is more calm, he will know what I mean by always assuming things that might not be true. It is definitely wrong to assume anyone else thinking without any significant proof. This is just like framing someone by assumming that he/she feels this way and he/she cannot even speak for herself. This often leads to misunderstanding between good friends and couples.
until sec 2 did i realise i fall for her. but we were in diff classes then. she was my first crush which i admit i have feelings for. after which i begin talking to her in another perspective, as a suitor. then i begin demanding she talk to me everytime and call me and such(i was a lousy guy then). then i begin to assume this and that and the end result we fell out after an arguement in irc (irc somemore)....
but i didnt learn until a recent case. my first gf.....
i demand her to do this and that. well after we broke up did i realise that couples should learn to compromise and not expect from each other. if she loves u and truly wants to be with u, she will change for the better for u and likewise, vice versa.
i slipped into depression after the breakup too.... nothing works out for me since sec4 where i declared my feelings to my crush. i feel like killing myself and thats it to my pathetic life. i cried too.
but what i understand, depression usually follows after all these things. but its there to make u think and learn and pick up and be a stronger person then u are. i begin to question myself then. "Y am i such a failure that i cant get any gers?" several ppl say i am a good guy, looks decent too but y i cant get any gers?
well i do not learn still. and found another new crush. but from the first meeting with her, i share my ideals and what kind a person i am. and her response was ultimately negative. that night i walked home from the interchange alone at midnight.
i decided to get myself away from all these stuffs, all these bgr problems and to make myself better, stronger and more ready so that there would be mutual attraction between me and gers then just one sided love like all the stuff i had gone thr.
SO LIFE^STOP, UR LIFE DOESNT STOP HERE. SHE IS HERE TO MAKE U STRONGER, MAKE U REALISE THERE IS NO ABSOLUTE IN THIS WORLD. WAKE UP FROM UR DEPRESSION AND THINK NO MORE OF HER.
another exp, another ger i declared my feelings for her, but she dislike me and begin to avoid me like i was a plague. think i was too insistent then. i asked her to me my gf twice and she reject me flat. and she send me an sms "Dont bother me anymore, sure there are more better gers then me."my world fell then. but i braced up and maintain my composure. i didnt contact her since. it is not like my survival depends on her.
so life^stop, i bet u got better things to do. hang out with frens, work out. gers are not everything in ur life, u will find better ones one day. but in order to be with them, u must be strong and be a man not a boy.