When a couple quarrels....
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usually the guy (regardless of whether he is or isnt in the wrong) would pacify the girl..
OR am I wrong?
I personally think that girls like to be pacified by boyfriends during a quarrel...
And usually guys would be try to cheer their gf up..even though they are not at fault...
But now, my BF doesnt even bother to do that...
Even when it's his fault!
He has changed... and Im losing faith.... -
hey... i dun agree lor... i would def apologize and pacify if im in the wrong but NOT when Im NOT in the wrong... (mayb its juz my view)...Originally posted by *evanesence*:usually the guy (regardless of whether he is or isnt in the wrong) would pacify the girl..
OR am I wrong?
I personally think that girls like to be pacified by boyfriends during a quarrel...
And usually guys would be try to cheer their gf up..even though they are not at fault...
But now, my BF doesnt even bother to do that...
Even when it's his fault!
He has changed... and Im losing faith....
Do u tink he is buzy lately or even very stressed up with something like his work, study???? if so, pls be more considerate and understanding...
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I guess guys also likes to be pacified by their partners, dun think it's a girl's thing... Suppose it's more of a human thingy...
I mean one can't always be on the taking side of a relationship... Learn to give in sumtimes, even when u feel he is in the wrong...
Sometimes it's hard fer guys to give in due to their "EGO"... -
from your observations, one may make this observation... you've done it to him....
this begs the question: how many times were you wrong, yet you waited for him to pacify you when you had no right to lose your temper?
after a while, some will figure that no matter what, they're going to get the blame, so they don't care anymore...
when they don't care, the heart becomes calloused and unfeeling...
here's my observation:
you know why the man tries to pacify the woman?
BECAUSE HE LOVES HER and will give his right arm to make her happy!
women sometimes take advantage of this.. and it tears apart the heart of the man.. don't take advantage of your man.. if you do, what kind of respect are you showing him? how much respect do you think you deserve in return...
hope you and your guy work things out and are both happy... -
Don't panic - the more you panic, the more illusion will slip in and in the end, its you who will cause the tension in your own relationship.Originally posted by *evanesence*:usually the guy (regardless of whether he is or isnt in the wrong) would pacify the girl..
OR am I wrong?
I personally think that girls like to be pacified by boyfriends during a quarrel...
And usually guys would be try to cheer their gf up..even though they are not at fault...
But now, my BF doesnt even bother to do that...
Even when it's his fault!
He has changed... and Im losing faith....
When quarreling take place - I believe that AT FIRST, boyfriend will give in. However when times goes by - its more of the Who is right and Who is Wrong kind of thing. If you are truely at fault, I believe its right if you were to initiate the apology and stuff. Guys are still human - TRUST ME, its damn tiring having to pacify your gf when she is at fault or its always on small matters.
Guys look far and seriousness into matter - when major things take place, most guys will truely protect, pacify and cheer their gf up even though they may feel sh|t too. However, its the small, ridiculous things that at times being the bf couldn't be bothered with. I am not saying you are, but - what about PMS? Unconsciously you affect him and expect him to 'hong' you?
Take a deep breath and review your situations - its ain't destruction or end of the world. When you try to compromise and look into things and he as well - things will be better.
Cheers -
BREAK OFF with him lor... why must stick on to such r/s...Originally posted by *evanesence*:usually the guy (regardless of whether he is or isnt in the wrong) would pacify the girl..
OR am I wrong?
I personally think that girls like to be pacified by boyfriends during a quarrel...
And usually guys would be try to cheer their gf up..even though they are not at fault...
But now, my BF doesnt even bother to do that...
Even when it's his fault!
He has changed... and Im losing faith....
-
actually as much as i'd want to say such things to people, i'd never advice anyone to do that.. this action must come from within the person himself/herself..
i feel i have no right to prod them towards this decision... but that's me...Originally posted by windjammer:BREAK OFF with him lor... why must stick on to such r/s... -
When couple quarrel, I try to stay away.
For your question, it depends on individual. Not all guys are like Wei Xiao Bao.
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maybe in the so called 'honeymoon' period, the guy will do anything even if he's not at fault....Originally posted by *evanesence*:usually the guy (regardless of whether he is or isnt in the wrong) would pacify the girl..
OR am I wrong?
I personally think that girls like to be pacified by boyfriends during a quarrel...
And usually guys would be try to cheer their gf up..even though they are not at fault...
But now, my BF doesnt even bother to do that...
Even when it's his fault!
He has changed... and Im losing faith....
but after sometime, esp when u always do tat, he will feel tired or irritated..hence, he will just bochup n act as if nothing happens... -
Your BF is sick and tired.Originally posted by *evanesence*:usually the guy (regardless of whether he is or isnt in the wrong) would pacify the girl..
OR am I wrong?
I personally think that girls like to be pacified by boyfriends during a quarrel...
And usually guys would be try to cheer their gf up..even though they are not at fault...
But now, my BF doesnt even bother to do that...
Even when it's his fault!
He has changed... and Im losing faith.... -
bit more to add....
you said:I personally think that girls like to be pacified by boyfriends during a quarrel...
have you done this for him? be there and try to cheer him up?
And usually guys would be try to cheer their gf up..even though they are not at fault...
or are you what i called a few people, "supermassive black holes"... that is, something in the centre of their own universe where everything is forced to revolve around them?
if you do, to be brutally frank, you are treating your guy as a personal slave, a domestic maid... you're not treating him as an equal... of course he's not going to care anymore.. resentment does that,... -
well said!!Originally posted by the Bear:here's my observation:
you know why the man tries to pacify the woman?
BECAUSE HE LOVES HER and will give his right arm to make her happy!
women sometimes take advantage of this.. and it tears apart the heart of the man.. don't take advantage of your man.. -
best become your gf right...Originally posted by windjammer:BREAK OFF with him lor... why must stick on to such r/s... 
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haiz.. i also having quarrels with my bf.. i also losing faith.. i think.. haiz.. cannot make it le..
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ever stopped to think why both of you are quarrelling?
find out the reason... then try your damnest to solve it if you love him... i can bet you that when he quarrels with you, he'll be feeling like hammered sh1t...
and if you think "cannot make it", it'll not...
fricken hate that phraseOriginally posted by cHeR|sH^LoVe:haiz.. i also having quarrels with my bf.. i also losing faith.. i think.. haiz.. cannot make it le.. -
huh??? i too old for her liaoz...Originally posted by Xcert:best become your gf right... -
that is always the trait of a woman...Originally posted by the Bear:actually as much as i'd want to say such things to people, i'd never advice anyone to do that.. this action must come from within the person himself/herself..
i feel i have no right to prod them towards this decision... but that's me... -
i guess i'll never understand women...
when a man says something like this, women will say he is an unreasonable and insensitive barbarian
when a woman says this, the same women will go "you go! girl!"
but it isn't is it? gender discrimination also swings the other way, just because men do not make so much noise, it does not mean that they are taking it well...
just like in the problem of this thread... the lady is almost insisting that the man pander to her, even when she's wrong and unreasonable... he must back down and pacify her..
i think this is supermassive black hole syndrome... self-indulgent, self-centred and selfish...
but watch for it... the man will be accused of the same very thingsOriginally posted by windjammer:that is always the trait of a woman... -
Sad to say you will never understand a woman...Originally posted by the Bear:i guess i'll never understand women...
when a man says something like this, women will say he is an unreasonable and insensitive barbarian
when a woman says this, the same women will go "you go! girl!"
but it isn't is it? gender discrimination also swings the other way, just because men do not make so much noise, it does not mean that they are taking it well...
just like in the problem of this thread... the lady is almost insisting that the man pander to her, even when she's wrong and unreasonable... he must back down and pacify her...
i think this is supermassive black hole syndrome... self-indulgent, self-centred and selfish...
but watch for it... the man will be accused of the same very things But nevertheless most of us guys will do their biddings in one way or the other... -
and here's the thing... just because we are unable to figure a woman out, it NEVER EVER means that we do not love them...
why is it most women think:
He doesn't understand me = He doesn't love me
not a chance.. he's still there for you.. he has no idea what's going on, yet on blind faith, he's still standing beside you, willing (even if not able) to take on the world and more for you...
yet, women do not think that is love...
a man, would go to hell and fight the satanic hordes if she wished it, he does not know why but he'll go... on pure blind faith, but cannot understand why she needs him to, but will anyway, if it pleased her
she will still think he does not love her... because he doesn't know why
alas...Originally posted by windjammer:Sad to say you will never understand a woman... But nevertheless most of us guys will do their biddings in one way or the other... -
good point madeOriginally posted by the Bear:and here's the thing... just because we are unable to figure a woman out, it NEVER EVER means that we do not love them...
why is it most women think:
He doesn't understand me = He doesn't love me
not a chance.. he's still there for you.. he has no idea what's going on, yet on blind faith, he's still standing beside you, willing (even if not able) to take on the world and more for you...
yet, women do not think that is love...
a man, would go to hell and fight the satanic hordes if she wished it, he does not know why but he'll go... on pure blind faith, but cannot understand why she needs him to, but will anyway, if it pleased her
she will still think he does not love her... because he doesn't know why
alas... -
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dun lose faith... quarrelling is just normal lor... and pacifying girls isn't what a guy should do... it really depends on what u guys quarrel bout... if u're just grouchy he'll simply just pacify u saying "it's okie dear" or buy u something nice or bring u to somewhere nice is just how he expresses his care for u... it's not a "must do" thing...Originally posted by *evanesence*:usually the guy (regardless of whether he is or isnt in the wrong) would pacify the girl..
OR am I wrong?
I personally think that girls like to be pacified by boyfriends during a quarrel...
And usually guys would be try to cheer their gf up..even though they are not at fault...
But now, my BF doesnt even bother to do that...
Even when it's his fault!
He has changed... and Im losing faith....
in chinese it's like "chao jia mei you hao hua" <-- nothing good's said when ppl quarrel... hope u understand that...
if u resort to quarrelling to solve your problems, why not try talking things out?? -
Juz some comments, i tink he might have new fond girl or he may be juz plain too tired of u....
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U still young wat...Originally posted by cHeR|sH^LoVe:haiz.. i also having quarrels with my bf.. i also losing faith.. i think.. haiz.. cannot make it le..