Just broke off...............
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Just had a bad big quarrel with my bf last tuesday.
Today talk things over. Became apprarent that we cannot be together anymore although neither of us initiate a breakup.
I just feel that I still love him. I think. But I know I cannot give him a chance anymore. Been so hurt b4...took me a great deal to accept him, but things just go after 2 mths.... -
life goes on.
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wat happened huh?care to tell us?we will be here to listen,maybe give so advice... we r like a big family here... we all have our share of hart break.... say it out...u will feel better...we r all here for u.....
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x2Originally posted by harryryan:wat happened huh?care to tell us?we will be here to listen,maybe give so advice... we r like a big family here... we all have our share of hart break.... say it out...u will feel better...we r all here for u.....
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Carebears?Originally posted by harryryan:wat happened huh?care to tell us?we will be here to listen,maybe give so advice... we r like a big family here... we all have our share of hart break.... say it out...u will feel better...we r all here for u.....
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Originally posted by Devil1976:Carebears?
y carebears?r u trying to say i have a tummy? 
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Dear jnifur,Originally posted by jnifur:Just had a bad big quarrel with my bf last tuesday.
Today talk things over. Became apprarent that we cannot be together anymore although neither of us initiate a breakup.
I just feel that I still love him. I think. But I know I cannot give him a chance anymore. Been so hurt b4...took me a great deal to accept him, but things just go after 2 mths....
How long have the two of you been together? Two months. You have to provide us more details to visualise what really went wrong from the relationship. What assured you that the two of you won't be together anymore? Extravagantly neither the both of you wanted a breakup in the first place. Now it's a positive time to decide and judge whether something can be done to prevent this relationship from hitting rock bottom. -
she's missing....which worries me....
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she's not around... maybe log off to go have dinner or something.. i hope so...
to jennifer, hey! talk about it here.. people here will give a sympathetic ear (eye) and betcha you'll feel better, yah? -
Well...it all started when we were invited to a fren's BBQ.
After that he started to be very cold to me.
Refuse to tell me wat happened till I probed.
Turned out that he find the BBQ very F*** up because he say all the gals are sitting there enjoying and not helping.
Somemore he is angry at me for not being affectionate to him enough. Say I didnt serve him food, didnt give him drinks. After that he apologised to me and say he is vexed at home (some personal problems) and at work.
End up I jus wan to cool things down before I talk to him again. But he just wan to get things over and done with. Very impatient. But he say he is willing to wait, yet keep bugging me and reminds me of the old things again and again.
He want a decision to be made. So....no choice -
decisions about the heart, only you can make by yourself...
do some soul-searching.. hopefully, you'll figure things out... this is a very important thing to do... and one of the hardest... but necessary
maybe his family problems are distracting him a lot.. if you really want to be with him, be supportive of him, be there for him...
it takes 2 to make a relationship work...
i do hope you find happiness
be well, peace be with you -
ai ya...it's human to be frustrated one lah.... not everyone can be good tempered one lor..... at least not all e time lah.... dun think ur problem is very serious.... how old r u n ur bf btw?i think he alittle MCP cos it does not matter one lah.... he's impatient cos he cares n it eats him up all this time u r taking to think over u relationship....Originally posted by jnifur:Well...it all started when we were invited to a fren's BBQ.
After that he started to be very cold to me.
Refuse to tell me wat happened till I probed.
Turned out that he find the BBQ very F*** up because he say all the gals are sitting there enjoying and not helping.
Somemore he is angry at me for not being affectionate to him enough. Say I didnt serve him food, didnt give him drinks. After that he apologised to me and say he is vexed at home (some personal problems) and at work.
End up I jus wan to cool things down before I talk to him again. But he just wan to get things over and done with. Very impatient. But he say he is willing to wait, yet keep bugging me and reminds me of the old things again and again.
He want a decision to be made. So....no choice -
pai seh i take long to reply ah
my internet connection very low lah
Duh! -
Well, I told him I needed space to resort my thinking.
I dun wan to break up with him.
But he wants things to be solved fast.
So that he can concentrate on other things.
I mean, I can pretend nothing had happened, but I dun thing I can withstand the torment -
Dear jnifur,Originally posted by jnifur:Well...it all started when we were invited to a fren's BBQ.
After that he started to be very cold to me.
Refuse to tell me wat happened till I probed.
Turned out that he find the BBQ very F*** up because he say all the gals are sitting there enjoying and not helping.
Somemore he is angry at me for not being affectionate to him enough. Say I didnt serve him food, didnt give him drinks. After that he apologised to me and say he is vexed at home (some personal problems) and at work.
End up I jus wan to cool things down before I talk to him again. But he just wan to get things over and done with. Very impatient. But he say he is willing to wait, yet keep bugging me and reminds me of the old things again and again.
He want a decision to be made. So....no choice
Does your boyfriend temper flares up easily? In this case, your boyfriend was cold towards you because of some girls enjoying themselve and not helping out with the bbq. In addition, he's probably having some trouble at home and work. Did you not served him and drinks nor food at the bbq while he was helping? Well did your boyfriend did get you drinks and food during that period? Sometimes in a relationship you have to give and take. In this incident, most likely your boyfriend is impatient and you are giving in to him, he's not taking it. Morever, he keeps pestering you of what happened in the past and mentioned he's willing to wait. That's not a healthy sign. I suggest you drop him a hint that you can't take this pain anymore. Considering he demanded a decision to be made. Possiblity a break up. -
wah....serve him drinks and food.........might as well employ a maid[/quote]
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that's true...
however, sometimes, when your partner is in pain, nothing makes him/her feel better than some tender loving care
still, maybe it's the man inside of me.. he should not demand these things.. but that's me...
hope jennifer works things out in a way where both sides are happy..Originally posted by ZenShin:wah....serve him drinks and food.........might as well employ a maid[/quote] -
I type a long story jus now and the internet hang....give me a few mins to get my story back....
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yah , he is wrong in the 1st place n he apologised which i tink its gd enuff tat he apologised for his bad temper on tat dae.... some dun even find it neccessary to do so.... since his reason for his temper is valid... y dun juz forgive him n get it over wif... ?
About his not understanding u for ur reason to cool it off....perhaps he is juz having problems wif his work or his relationship wif his family members for tis period of time , tats y he doesn't wan his relationship wif his gf to screw up as well.. ? Well , be more understanding abt the situation... u dun wan such a minor case to end up ur relationship wif him , ya ? haf a gd talk wif him n i hope everything will clear up for the both of u.... -
ok. Is like this, we had been together for 2 mths
Never had quarrel b4. He started to be very cold towards me after the BBQ. Never wanted to tell me wat happened till I probe.
And he is unhappy that, I took drinks for my female frens but never serve him. He told me that he took the trouble to save me food but I dun give a damn abt him, but care for my female frens instead.
I mean, I didnt volunteerily took drinks for my female frens. She happened to request that can I help her to take a drink. So I take lah. I mean, wat is this? He is 27, and he is jealous over gals? To me, this is childish.
I admit it is my fault that I didnt shower him enough affection. But b4 we were together, he already know that I am a somewat career minded person. If he wants me to serve him like a housewife even b4 we are married, I m sorry, ask him to get another gal.
But on the day of the BBQ, one of my frens was a pregnant lady. Naturally we take care of her more. I mean please, we are no longer teenagers anymore. We are working, grown up adults. Why is he behaving this way?
He keep saying that he is human, so is natural for him to get jealous. And that I am his 1st gf, he dunno how to handle things, I should guide him.
All along, he say he has been smooth, never had any problems. One shot kena from gf, family and work, he say he cannot take it.
I told him many times that I needed personal space to cool off b4 I can meet u up and talk about it. But he doesnt listen. He sms me everyday with things like "within 1 week, my whole world collapse"..."I dun feel like going home now, wan to go to the sea and let the water take me away"
I am not a person who can take all these nonesense. I have problems at work too. I dun behave like that!
He even mentioned that if I cannot withstand his temper, it is not too late yet. He said he regretted asking me to be his gf only 2 mths after knowing me.
He told me, he got other problems, just wan to get this cleared as fast as he can. Want things to be over and done with. I always thought relationship things are meant to be handled with paitient and care? I told him I need time to cool off. And he tell my frens that i am avoiding him. And he didnt dare to tell my fren how he made me so upset. He lied to my fren that because he didnt sms me, I felt neglected. So I got angry. -
Well......i guess deep down all guys want to be mothered.....but then...demanding the affections of a lady is definately wrong.....
then the things that defines us as humans is also our ability to control our emotions and actions....is it not?
kekeke....just my 2¢s a thousand apologies if i'm wrong -
ur guy is one of those rare type tat is very senstive n emotional.... guys r not like gals , they wanna solve problems as fast as possible while we gals ponder , emotions often overwhelm us before procceeding to solve the problems... its not wrong tat he wan things to get done n over wif since he is used to doing tat.... ?
Even when guys appear to be macho n strong in terms of mentality , he could still be childish once in a blue moon.... they oso need gals to pamper n be affectionate to them.... he is feeling down at tat period of time so it ain't wrong if he wants more attention den normal times.... juz like we will feel gd when we r pampered by the one we love , rite ?
framkly speaking , if i were him , i'll most probably be feeling jealous too especially when i'm not in a beri gd mood n my gf is not showing much attention to me....
So i suggest u dun juz let tis relationship go down to the drain juz becoz of tis bbq thingy , its not worth it..... -
true oh so true.... i agree... bravo!!!!!!! encore,encore!!!!!!!! *Clap ,clap,clap*Originally posted by |Uv`-f|UtE-`:ur guy is one of those rare type tat is very senstive n emotional.... guys r not like gals , they wanna solve problems as fast as possible while we gals ponder , emotions often overwhelm us before procceeding to solve the problems... its not wrong tat he wan things to get done n over wif since he is used to doing tat.... ?
Even when guys appear to be macho n strong in terms of mentality , he could still be childish once in a blue moon.... they oso need gals to pamper n be affectionate to them.... he is feeling down at tat period of time so it ain't wrong if he wants more attention den normal times.... juz like we will feel gd when we r pampered by the one we love , rite ?
framkly speaking , if i were him , i'll most probably be feeling jealous too especially when i'm not in a beri gd mood n my gf is not showing much attention to me....
So i suggest u dun juz let tis relationship go down to the drain juz becoz of tis bbq thingy , its not worth it..... -
Originally posted by harryryan:true oh so true.... i agree... bravo!!!!!!! encore,encore!!!!!!!! *Clap ,clap,clap*
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Originally posted by jnifur:
ok. Is like this, we had been together for 2 mths
Never had quarrel b4. He started to be very cold towards me after the BBQ. Never wanted to tell me wat happened till I probe.
And he is unhappy that, I took drinks for my female frens but never serve him. He told me that he took the trouble to save me food but I dun give a damn abt him, but care for my female frens instead.
I mean, I didnt volunteerily took drinks for my female frens. She happened to request that can I help her to take a drink. So I take lah. I mean, wat is this? He is 27, and he is jealous over gals? To me, this is childish.
There r bound to be quarrels in r/ships. Quarrels enhance understanding for each other and r/ship tend to develop stronger after much quarrels. I dun encourage it here but do see the positive side of it. Maybe I belong to the 'same frequency' as you bf, i dun think he is jealous over you being nicer to your galfrens. He is explaining to you why he feels so by giving the examples.
I admit it is my fault that I didnt shower him enough affection. But b4 we were together, he already know that I am a somewat career minded person. If he wants me to serve him like a housewife even b4 we are married, I m sorry, ask him to get another gal.
Being career-minded isnt a valid excuse for not showering enuff affection, dun you agree with me? All the more, if you already know tt u r career-minded, does it hint to me tt you r not so readily in showing your affection as you feel the need to prove tt you r no woman in apron but in power-suit? Im sad to hear if you have this mentality. Your bf isnt a competing male colleague
, so let down your hair and feel great as a woman, show your man that you love him.
But on the day of the BBQ, one of my frens was a pregnant lady. Naturally we take care of her more. I mean please, we are no longer teenagers anymore. We are working, grown up adults. Why is he behaving this way?
It's pretty obvious to me why he is behaving this way. You matter to him. Why wld a guy who had no concern for another woman to get agitated at all? I do u/stand wat you mean being grown-up n etc., but it may not be this case here. Even a seventy-yr-old man behaves this way! Coz it's abt handling things in different ways. Perhaps, you guyz did hav alot of time to u/stand each other well before coming together.
He keep saying that he is human, so is natural for him to get jealous. And that I am his 1st gf, he dunno how to handle things, I should guide him.
All along, he say he has been smooth, never had any problems. One shot kena from gf, family and work, he say he cannot take it.
I told him many times that I needed personal space to cool off b4 I can meet u up and talk about it. But he doesnt listen. He sms me everyday with things like "within 1 week, my whole world collapse"..."I dun feel like going home now, wan to go to the sea and let the water take me away"
I am not a person who can take all these nonesense. I have problems at work too. I dun behave like that!
Maybe you can try to u/stand that he's not experienced in r/ships, thus, not able to handle many of the way things wld be when one goes thru for the 1st. Try to put yourself in his shoes, maybe you'd u/stand why? No matter wat he did, i guess he did it out of love. Cool down abit to see that all he had done to piss you off was juz irrational behaviours. A quarrel wont even exists if both parties were rational. Btw, I really dun feel that you shld compare how you'd behave to his. Everyone's different, if you love the man, love him for who he is. It takes more than knowing wat you will do & wat he does to be different fr you, compromising is essential.
He even mentioned that if I cannot withstand his temper, it is not too late yet. He said he regretted asking me to be his gf only 2 mths after knowing me.
He told me, he got other problems, just wan to get this cleared as fast as he can. Want things to be over and done with. I always thought relationship things are meant to be handled with paitient and care? I told him I need time to cool off. And he tell my frens that i am avoiding him. And he didnt dare to tell my fren how he made me so upset. He lied to my fren that because he didnt sms me, I felt neglected. So I got angry.
Well, I can deduce that many misu/standings & hurt result from lack of u/standing for each other. jnifer, Im only trying to make you see the other side of the story, it isnt so bad. If you think that the r/ship cant be retrieved due to these misu/standings, i find it a waste n unnecessary. You & your bf happens to handle probs diffeently. You need time to cool off and he doesnt like to drag things. If both of you have been given more time to u/stand this, all this cld have been avoided. Since love may not last forever, why not love with all your heart now? Wish you the best