Just broke off...............
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thks....i made it profound so everyone goes 'wow'Originally posted by jnifur:well said....
no lah, i juz wanna put my thoughts into action. not to try decipher meaning of love (headache & useless) but juz to love the one who shall see me as worthy
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Dear jnifur,Originally posted by jnifur:ok. Is like this, we had been together for 2 mths
Never had quarrel b4. He started to be very cold towards me after the BBQ. Never wanted to tell me wat happened till I probe.
And he is unhappy that, I took drinks for my female frens but never serve him. He told me that he took the trouble to save me food but I dun give a damn abt him, but care for my female frens instead.
I mean, I didnt volunteerily took drinks for my female frens. She happened to request that can I help her to take a drink. So I take lah. I mean, wat is this? He is 27, and he is jealous over gals? To me, this is childish.
I admit it is my fault that I didnt shower him enough affection. But b4 we were together, he already know that I am a somewat career minded person. If he wants me to serve him like a housewife even b4 we are married, I m sorry, ask him to get another gal.
But on the day of the BBQ, one of my frens was a pregnant lady. Naturally we take care of her more. I mean please, we are no longer teenagers anymore. We are working, grown up adults. Why is he behaving this way?
He keep saying that he is human, so is natural for him to get jealous. And that I am his 1st gf, he dunno how to handle things, I should guide him.
All along, he say he has been smooth, never had any problems. One shot kena from gf, family and work, he say he cannot take it.
I told him many times that I needed personal space to cool off b4 I can meet u up and talk about it. But he doesnt listen. He sms me everyday with things like "within 1 week, my whole world collapse"..."I dun feel like going home now, wan to go to the sea and let the water take me away"
I am not a person who can take all these nonesense. I have problems at work too. I dun behave like that!
He even mentioned that if I cannot withstand his temper, it is not too late yet. He said he regretted asking me to be his gf only 2 mths after knowing me.
He told me, he got other problems, just wan to get this cleared as fast as he can. Want things to be over and done with. I always thought relationship things are meant to be handled with paitient and care? I told him I need time to cool off. And he tell my frens that i am avoiding him. And he didnt dare to tell my fren how he made me so upset. He lied to my fren that because he didnt sms me, I felt neglected. So I got angry.
This is not a critical problem at all and remedy is around, if that's what both of you wished to do.
Firstly: this relationship is probably under Morning Foundation (the act of being together under very short period of time - CloUdiSm Remix III) - in which his standard and requirement of a girlfriend and yours could be different, and probably only during the journey of this relationship, the both of you started to realise. (That's the whole thing about relationship: if it were to be entered blindly by pure emotions. Astrologically speaking: those with the strongest attraction are most often karmic relationship)
Next: you are his first gf - there is tons and thousands of things that he will need to learn and adapt. When you are attached and single -its totally different. Coping with all the different stress and maintaining a relationship is a skill to be learn - exactly the same way as parenting. Who the hell born into this world knows how to be a good parent or a good lover? Everything is experience and learning along the way - give up halfway: you will encounter problems during your next relationship. Its a karmic cycle (b|tches that don't learn to treasure themselves never find true love, guys who are possessive often lose their gf to competitors, etc)
Btw: being matured in a relationship and the kind of maturity that exist in adults is totally two different issues. Everyone wants to be love, to be depend on someone, etc - your bf is no difference. Career-minded your personality - in your love life: its shouldn't be defined exactly as what is it.
Let me tell you there are woman strong and hard like a shield on the outside, to their friends, working society, etc, but when it comes to their hubby or bf - they become like a child/mouse. I am not saying you have to be like that; rather to learn about the femaine energy of a relationship (simple hug, kiss, notes of love, simple gestures and the list goes on)
Everyone learns from their relationship along the way: observe details and it makes everyone's day better and happier.
Cheers -
u said tt u r a career minded gal,ya tt's rite,but then u shld not have left yr bf alone aso..imagine if the bbq u all went were his fren's bbq,then he kep toking wif his frens while u were bz bbq-ing for him 2 eat,n he even ignored u..how u sld feel?have u put yrself in his shoes?Being career minded n being a gf is 2 totally differnt things lor,dun mix them up...u never think of his feelings..u r lucky he feels jealous,if he is not then u shld worry...
Sometimes juz feel tt gals dun really take time 2 understand guys better and they always expect the guys 2 gve in all the time...it's all give n take in a r/s... -
u claim tt u still love him,but u have been real hurt b4...juz coz of bbq thing u feel hurt?if it really is,then i think tt hurt is not counted tt really hurts lor..unless he has another other than u or wat lah,tt is consider hurt...Originally posted by jnifur:Just had a bad big quarrel with my bf last tuesday.
Today talk things over. Became apprarent that we cannot be together anymore although neither of us initiate a breakup.
I just feel that I still love him. I think. But I know I cannot give him a chance anymore. Been so hurt b4...took me a great deal to accept him, but things just go after 2 mths....
sorry,if u all dun understand wat i'm toking abt,my mind is very luan now aso...
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No I'm not...Originally posted by harryryan:wat happened huh?care to tell us?we will be here to listen,maybe give so advice... we r like a big family here... we all have our share of hart break.... say it out...u will feel better...we r all here for u.....
Read my NICK......
Ok... joking lah...
But I NOT gonna help dis poor heart broken gal juz bcoz she broke up wif some guy... I've seen dis too many times... got tired of toking to them abt dis...
I leave it to da expurts here...
Hee hee hee... -
Yr tummy got wat powers?Originally posted by harryryan: y carebears?r u trying to say i have a tummy? -
Everybody has a tummy, it's just a difference of big or small...?Originally posted by harryryan: y carebears?r u trying to say i have a tummy? -
Dat hurts... yr usage of eng hurt my "common" sense of eng liao...Originally posted by curad:u claim tt u still love him,but u have been real hurt b4...juz coz of bbq thing u feel hurt?if it really is,then i think tt hurt is not counted tt really hurts lor..unless he has another other than u or wat lah,tt is consider hurt...
sorry,if u all dun understand wat i'm toking abt,my mind is very luan now aso... -
Sometimes in a relationship, doesnt mean both parties have good character and thats it, its a perfect couple....no...from what u have said, your BF is kinda sensitive to your actions, he needs attention as much as girls need from guys (usually). He might be a good guy, u still have feelings for him...but how long do u know him, it only takes 2 months for u 2 to be together, i think its a very short time. i can only say that u are giving each other a chance and trying out to see if e relationship works... so now u have a problem, maybe u might wanna review this relationship as to whether is it worth continuing...is it a permanent prob that will always be there or its just some mood swings from your BF n stuff. Since u said that u all are working adults...i think u should be able to rationalise e whole situation properly.
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Hi hi...u sound like a sadist to me...haha sorryOriginally posted by loneryu00:No I'm not...
Read my NICK......
Ok... joking lah...
But I NOT gonna help dis poor heart broken gal juz bcoz she broke up wif some guy... I've seen dis too many times... got tired of toking to them abt dis...
I leave it to da expurts here...
Hee hee hee...
jus kidding.
Nah, is ok if u dun help. Am I suppose to feel lost that I didnt gain help from u? Dun think so. U are not the only user here anyway. -
haha.... u feeling better yet?how's e situation now?Originally posted by jnifur:Hi hi...u sound like a sadist to me...haha sorry jus kidding.
Nah, is ok if u dun help. Am I suppose to feel lost that I didnt gain help from u? Dun think so. U are not the only user here anyway. -
Hi hi Is ok lah, I get ur points. I try to mixed around with everyone that nite but I didnt leave him alone...didnt. But I pay less attention then the other couple who was there too. Which he used to compare with.Originally posted by curad:u claim tt u still love him,but u have been real hurt b4...juz coz of bbq thing u feel hurt?if it really is,then i think tt hurt is not counted tt really hurts lor..unless he has another other than u or wat lah,tt is consider hurt...
sorry,if u all dun understand wat i'm toking abt,my mind is very luan now aso...
Never mind lah....work it out myself.... thanks everyone -
Hi hi ...me ah...ok lah. Not very much better, but definitely not as bad as yesterday.Originally posted by harryryan:haha.... u feeling better yet?how's e situation now?
Sms him to take care. That's all.
Got to go for dinner...just back from work...so busy...thanks to sars
See u guys around again later -
just remember that everyone have their own language of love....which i think service is one of your bf's. let him know what is yours as well...these kinda thing need to talk it over.
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think he more of e ger role in tis relationship...Originally posted by jnifur:Well...it all started when we were invited to a fren's BBQ.
After that he started to be very cold to me.
Refuse to tell me wat happened till I probed.
Turned out that he find the BBQ very F*** up because he say all the gals are sitting there enjoying and not helping.
Somemore he is angry at me for not being affectionate to him enough. Say I didnt serve him food, didnt give him drinks. After that he apologised to me and say he is vexed at home (some personal problems) and at work.
End up I jus wan to cool things down before I talk to him again. But he just wan to get things over and done with. Very impatient. But he say he is willing to wait, yet keep bugging me and reminds me of the old things again and again.
He want a decision to be made. So....no choice
he 1 more of ur attention... -
life goes on.. you'll find someone new.. more worthy of ur love..
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sorry...Originally posted by loneryu00:Dat hurts... yr usage of eng hurt my "common" sense of eng liao... -
hi girl.
i think it is also a waste to just to let go just like that. i will believe in communciation. have a heart to heart talk with him again to see if you all can make it work again. anyway best luck of all...!
got a book to intro to u.
Too good to leave, too bad to stay
Mira Kirshenbaum
ISBN 0452275350 -
Wats there to sorry abt? Its yr wae of using eng wat! though confusing lah...Originally posted by curad:sorry...
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Originally posted by loneryu00:Wats there to sorry abt? Its yr wae of using eng wat! though confusing lah...
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Originally posted by curad:
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Sometimes guys pick on small things when there are bigger problems that are bothering them..maybe should have a nice tok with him...
If there are no real problems...then maybe should think again if u want to be with such a petty fellow... -
Thanks for all the replies from everyone...I think...maybe I jus carry on with life. No point pondering over wat is over.Originally posted by raraninja:Sometimes guys pick on small things when there are bigger problems that are bothering them..maybe should have a nice tok with him...
If there are no real problems...then maybe should think again if u want to be with such a petty fellow... -
hey jennifer, i hope you find happiness and peace yah?
good luck stay positive Originally posted by jnifur:Thanks for all the replies from everyone...I think...maybe I jus carry on with life. No point pondering over wat is over. -
Hi hi The bearOriginally posted by the Bear:hey jennifer, i hope you find happiness and peace yah?
good luck stay positive
Thanks....Well, I mean, if I really wan to compare, I find I am happier most time when I am single. Maybe my real fate hadsnt come yet. Should devote my time to other things now