Someone with a past...
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Is it true that once you have a past, you won't be able to move on with life, and you have no right in seeking for the happiness your heart desires so coz others will look at you with the kinda eyes that you're no longer perfect?
I feel so, becoz I have a past of my own and I'm not given a second chance. Someone who has likings for me and me too for him, told me he's not able to accept my past. I always thought kindness begets kindness, so is sincerity. Am I wrong to have been honest and frank, I just want him to know everything about me before we talk about any future down the road. Guessed that's not the case afterall. After trying out for a few days, he told me he it's not possible coz he cannot forget my past and he asked me if I hated him and if we can remain as friends. How can I hate him? I ain't got the rights to hate him for making this decision
He has his right to seek for the ideal relationship with someone perfect in his heart, too bad I'm not the one.
Is this known as 'Perfect guy looking for his perfect gal'? He doesn't have a past, at least to an extent he is perfect in my eyes.
Probably this is how to whole world revolves? Someone with a blemish with remain as imperfection and will only be considered second best?
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poor thing..
if he cannot, i guess it's doomed as it takes 2 to make a relationship work... if he says cannot, then, mourn for the "could've been" and hopefully, you'll find someone who will love you for who you are.. the complete package...
be well, and i hope you find happiness
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Shallow person he is, but still its his choice and proly his lost right?
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hi sweetie cereal..
keke..dun brood over it..well..u hv to understanding..everyone's hv his/her past..tell me.who ain't no past at all..? even a foetus also hv a past..well..diff ppl hv diff expectations..since u're open to him..and he can't accept tt..well..he's being honest too..it's better den he deceived u..isn't it..?
well..move on wif yr life..dun cling on yr pasy if u're looking for yr future..keke..trust me..one day..juz one fine day..u'll be able to find yr one..cheer up...~ -
The one we love always appear flawless & perfect.Originally posted by ^cereal^:Is it true that once you have a past, you won't be able to move on with life, and you have no right in seeking for the happiness your heart desires so coz others will look at you with the kinda eyes that you're no longer perfect?
I feel so, becoz I have a past of my own and I'm not given a second chance. Someone who has likings for me and me too for him, told me he's not able to accept my past. I always thought kindness begets kindness, so is sincerity. Am I wrong to have been honest and frank, I just want him to know everything about me before we talk about any future down the road. Guessed that's not the case afterall. After trying out for a few days, he told me he it's not possible coz he cannot forget my past and he asked me if I hated him and if we can remain as friends. How can I hate him? I ain't got the rights to hate him for making this decision He has his right to seek for the ideal relationship with someone perfect in his heart, too bad I'm not the one.
Is this known as 'Perfect guy looking for his perfect gal'? He doesn't have a past, at least to an extent he is perfect in my eyes.
Probably this is how to whole world revolves? Someone with a blemish with remain as imperfection and will only be considered second best?
Forget abt the "perfect gal/guy" idealism. It doesnt exist.
Your past isnt what he looks down on. It's juz that everyone has a set of critierias for their bf/gf. Everyone will have a past. The one who can love you well will be the one who can accept you now, in the future & your past -
perfection, is when u see the beauty within the flaw....
perfection, is not when the item of desire is flawless....
if he chose to give u up, it's his loss......
there'll be someone who can see u in a way, that is not by perfection.... -
To all the young girls out there, if you don wanna regret in your future, don do stupid things now. U might just regret it one day...
Anyway, cereal, if he doesnt accept you then be it, forcing to be together oso no happiness.
Some people will mind past, coz they scared one day history will happen to him too.
Some people don't mind, coz what matters to them is now and future.
Cheers... -
Accepting a person past is a ultimate hurdle between personal preception and love - he will eventually come and learn about this cosmic lesson and the value of love isn't determine by things that HE doesn't have control over.Originally posted by ^cereal^:Is it true that once you have a past, you won't be able to move on with life, and you have no right in seeking for the happiness your heart desires so coz others will look at you with the kinda eyes that you're no longer perfect?
I feel so, becoz I have a past of my own and I'm not given a second chance. Someone who has likings for me and me too for him, told me he's not able to accept my past. I always thought kindness begets kindness, so is sincerity. Am I wrong to have been honest and frank, I just want him to know everything about me before we talk about any future down the road. Guessed that's not the case afterall. After trying out for a few days, he told me he it's not possible coz he cannot forget my past and he asked me if I hated him and if we can remain as friends. How can I hate him? I ain't got the rights to hate him for making this decision He has his right to seek for the ideal relationship with someone perfect in his heart, too bad I'm not the one.
Is this known as 'Perfect guy looking for his perfect gal'? He doesn't have a past, at least to an extent he is perfect in my eyes.
Probably this is how to whole world revolves? Someone with a blemish with remain as imperfection and will only be considered second best? 
A person's past, is in the past. Absolutely nothing to do with this guy of yours. In my own personal opinon, never reveal your past to your bf/gf. Understand why? Because its NOT their right to know about it - rather, its a privileges. Telling them about your PAST will not bring benefits at all - the best you could bring is neutral effect (Know, know lor, like that lor, kind of thing), others: it actually de-valued your relationship.
Being FRANK and keeping your own private space is totally DIFFERENT ISSUES. This ain't lying, neither deceiving - its protecting your relationship.
There are bound to be people who will appreciate you for who you are regardless of your sad past - these are the people who LOOK further than what your shallow guy orginally saw - he only saw the sketch - these people sees the actual drawing and virbrant colours.
Let me guess one trait about this guy:
This is probably his early relationship. (Being through not much relationships in his life)
^cereal^ my words to you is that - you certainly could move on and seek for your own happiness, the true guy that looks not at the surface, but at the heart. This shouldn't discourage you - it should serve as a motivation to improve yourself - to show to that guy that he made such mistake in letting you go. Seriously speaking, even one day if he were to wake up and wants to accept you back - my stand is forget it man - who knows, when he is going through this mental crisis again and dump you using such excuses again? Past is something you can't change - but certainly you ain't condemn forever if you improve. Seek for appreciation, the love for who you are and what you are.
Cheers -
I didnt force anything on him. Since day one, he's been the one deciding everything. He decided that he wanted us to be together, then he also decided that he cannot forget abt my past. He then also decided for us to remain as friends.
How do you judge if something which has already been done as being stupid? In a r/s, nothing is considered ever stupid. Maybe you're one of those ppl who considered giving of oneself to the one whom you truly loved then with promises of eternity as being 'stupid', but not for my case. Who will ever know that the guys after deflowering the gals will leave them in search for greener pastures? Noone can tell what holds in the future. If the girls are to be called 'stupid' what are the guys? Bastards? *shrugz*
No offence intended. Thks for your reply anyway.
cheerz.Originally posted by TZR:
To all the young girls out there, if you don wanna regret in your future, don do stupid things now. U might just regret it one day...
Anyway, cereal, if he doesnt accept you then be it, forcing to be together oso no happiness.
Some people will mind past, coz they scared one day history will happen to him too.
Some people don't mind, coz what matters to them is now and future.
Cheers...[/b] -
cereal, you met some jerks and piles of crap in the past.. there are still a lot of good guys out there... and hopefully, one day, you'll find him... someone you can love, and loves you right back, unconditionally...
i do hope you find him
may you be happy
good luck yah? -
Ha! No one should be affected by the past of their loved ones. Show him how you have put it behind you. Don't let such a minor thing get into your way if you truely love him. If we are stuck in the past then the police will be wearing shorts and Yishun will be under the opposition party.
And you mentioned he decides everything... then its high time u do more about it. Make decisions too. If you can't do it alone then discuss it with him. Show that you mean more then your past. Don't let him decide everything and lead you by the nose. Often ppl with strong character are also the ones that can leave their past and carry on their live. Do the same thing. Show him you are worth more then the "miserable past " he associate's with you. Show him you can do it. And finally... many people say that if cannot click then break. Don't be rash and think carefully 1st else if regret the same people's advise may not get him back for you. -
Nobody is really 'perfect' in this world.... Everyone has a past... It's just a matter of how you deal with it, and how others see it...?Originally posted by ^cereal^:Is it true that once you have a past, you won't be able to move on with life, and you have no right in seeking for the happiness your heart desires so coz others will look at you with the kinda eyes that you're no longer perfect?
I feel so, becoz I have a past of my own and I'm not given a second chance. Someone who has likings for me and me too for him, told me he's not able to accept my past. I always thought kindness begets kindness, so is sincerity. Am I wrong to have been honest and frank, I just want him to know everything about me before we talk about any future down the road. Guessed that's not the case afterall. After trying out for a few days, he told me he it's not possible coz he cannot forget my past and he asked me if I hated him and if we can remain as friends. How can I hate him? I ain't got the rights to hate him for making this decision He has his right to seek for the ideal relationship with someone perfect in his heart, too bad I'm not the one.
Is this known as 'Perfect guy looking for his perfect gal'? He doesn't have a past, at least to an extent he is perfect in my eyes.
Probably this is how to whole world revolves? Someone with a blemish with remain as imperfection and will only be considered second best?
There's no right or wrong in his decision in this relationship, everybody have their own expectations....
Just in case you wanna know... No... This is not EXACTLY how the world works... Though there're certain 'rules' which run along that government..... -
Sounds to me U told him U no virgin? (pardon my rudeness & blunt...) & he some wat values "virginity" alot?Originally posted by ^cereal^:Is it true that once you have a past, you won't be able to move on with life, and you have no right in seeking for the happiness your heart desires so coz others will look at you with the kinda eyes that you're no longer perfect?
I feel so, becoz I have a past of my own and I'm not given a second chance. Someone who has likings for me and me too for him, told me he's not able to accept my past. I always thought kindness begets kindness, so is sincerity. Am I wrong to have been honest and frank, I just want him to know everything about me before we talk about any future down the road. Guessed that's not the case afterall. After trying out for a few days, he told me he it's not possible coz he cannot forget my past and he asked me if I hated him and if we can remain as friends. How can I hate him? I ain't got the rights to hate him for making this decision He has his right to seek for the ideal relationship with someone perfect in his heart, too bad I'm not the one.
Is this known as 'Perfect guy looking for his perfect gal'? He doesn't have a past, at least to an extent he is perfect in my eyes.
Probably this is how to whole world revolves? Someone with a blemish with remain as imperfection and will only be considered second best? Dis 1 only a comment har... not for U ppl out there to attack on...
Have U ever wonder y is there a word called "perfect"? How do U define "perfect"? Every1s view of "perfect" is SO different, who is correct? "Perfect" is only an ideal... smth in our mind & heart... smth for us to cling onto like a hope... not noeing wat it actually is...
"Perfect" is in da making... in our mind, We ALL view it so differently... No 1 can have da same "perfect" idea as another person... (If do pls correct me...) If U tink "dis" is perfect, U r not wrong... another person may tink "dat" is perfect... he/she/it not wrong too! Wat m I toking? Every1s perception of "perfect" is different... even a dictionary or an expurt on explaination cannot satisfy yr "search for da meaning: perfect"...
U dun ask me wat is perfect... honestly I dunno... but I can sae from my bwain minor view: a "perfect" person is 1 who have tried EVERYTHING. Yes... including rape, murder, arson, bad things...
NOT dat I sae U ppl muz do it hor... I meant dat person has experienced ALL things... like beat a person & been beaten up by a person... to experience wat its like...
Enuf of my rubbish. For U my fren, U will somedae find a person who loves U as who & wat U r... not for yr past. -
think u shd not let yr past bother u so much
after all it's the PAST..
i think almost everybody got a past which they dun wan the other party to noe..at least u open to the guy..told him..if he can't accept..u also can't force him to
most importantly is u are comfortable with how u r living yr life now..and not feel ashamed of your past...dun worry..u will find some guys who will accept... -
Mapplezz dun wan U...?Originally posted by BufPuf:
Siao!!! -
y lehOriginally posted by loneryu00:Mapplezz dun wan U...?
Siao!!!
u got a problem with that? -
if someone can't accept ur past, he/she is not worth it..
though sometimes, it's very saddening tat ppl bothered or mind so much abt our past.
We learn from out past and not carry our past with us. so look towards e future with hope -
Got... dis maths prob my brother still hard to find answer... "Wats 58 * 58 / 58?Originally posted by BufPuf:y leh
u got a problem with that? -
Well...its time u lead a life of your own and decide on your own.Originally posted by ^cereal^:I didnt force anything on him. Since day one, he's been the one deciding everything. He decided that he wanted us to be together, then he also decided that he cannot forget abt my past. He then also decided for us to remain as friends.
How do you judge if something which has already been done as being stupid? In a r/s, nothing is considered ever stupid. Maybe you're one of those ppl who considered giving of oneself to the one whom you truly loved then with promises of eternity as being 'stupid', but not for my case. Who will ever know that the guys after deflowering the gals will leave them in search for greener pastures? Noone can tell what holds in the future. If the girls are to be called 'stupid' what are the guys? Bastards? *shrugz*
No offence intended. Thks for your reply anyway.
cheerz.
Judging...? U r right, judging should not be involved in r/s. You only can use choice
"Your past" well its a choice you have made previously. So if it is a mistake, learn from it and not be bothered by it.
I know its easy to say but this is definately not something that is difficult to practice.
There is definately no such thing as "perfect person" only "dream person". Learn to appreciate your mistakes, coz it let you becomes a better person if you learn from it.
FYI, I too made many mistakes even till date. But I know regretting it don;t solve the problem. It was a choice I made, and I just hope that I will not made that same mistake again. -
Sometimes the past does hinders the future. Sad n harsh truth.
Well, just hope for the best
take care ger -
Thank you all for your kind words and time. I appreciate them lots. Life goes on and the world don't stop revolving becoz of a person. I think life's ordeals are meant to make one stronger and better for the future. I treasure myself alot and trust me, I have no intention to hide from my past. I'm facing it bravely and hope for the day where the one who truly values me to come by. It's not going to be easy but it's the experiences I have gain which will benefit me a great deal.
I'm looking forward the the future and came across a quote like this:
"Do not dwell in the past,
Do not dream of the future,
Concentrate the mind on the present moment."
Peace to all... thanks to all who replied to my post. -
attagirl cereal
you'll be fine
i do hope you find someone whom you love and will love you right back unconditionally -
no 1 is perfect.. everyone has a past & it tru all tis past make us more mature & grown up.. more responsible...Originally posted by ^cereal^:Is it true that once you have a past, you won't be able to move on with life, and you have no right in seeking for the happiness your heart desires so coz others will look at you with the kinda eyes that you're no longer perfect?
I feel so, becoz I have a past of my own and I'm not given a second chance. Someone who has likings for me and me too for him, told me he's not able to accept my past. I always thought kindness begets kindness, so is sincerity. Am I wrong to have been honest and frank, I just want him to know everything about me before we talk about any future down the road. Guessed that's not the case afterall. After trying out for a few days, he told me he it's not possible coz he cannot forget my past and he asked me if I hated him and if we can remain as friends. How can I hate him? I ain't got the rights to hate him for making this decision He has his right to seek for the ideal relationship with someone perfect in his heart, too bad I'm not the one.
Is this known as 'Perfect guy looking for his perfect gal'? He doesn't have a past, at least to an extent he is perfect in my eyes.
Probably this is how to whole world revolves? Someone with a blemish with remain as imperfection and will only be considered second best?
as long 1 person learn from past to be a better person,wum make e same mistake i dun think dat anything wrong.. everyone deserve a chance..
if dat guy cant accept u den it best to let go coz even in future he will still bring it up if u ever quarrels.. wad 4?
anyway it his loss if he lose e chance of a frank ger..
i sure dat will be other ppl who will treasure u -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
yoz ah BENG! me totally with u!
Accepting a person past is a ultimate hurdle between personal preception and love - he will eventually come and learn about this cosmic lesson and the value of love isn't determine by things that HE doesn't have control over.
A person's past, is in the past. Absolutely nothing to do with this guy of yours. In my own personal opinon, never reveal your past to your bf/gf. Understand why? Because its NOT their right to know about it - rather, its a privileges. Telling them about your PAST will not bring benefits at all - the best you could bring is neutral effect (Know, know lor, like that lor, kind of thing), others: it actually de-valued your relationship.
Being FRANK and keeping your own private space is totally [b]DIFFERENT ISSUES. This ain't lying, neither deceiving - its protecting your relationship.
There are bound to be people who will appreciate you for who you are regardless of your sad past - these are the people who LOOK further than what your shallow guy orginally saw - he only saw the sketch - these people sees the actual drawing and virbrant colours.
Let me guess one trait about this guy: This is probably his early relationship. (Being through not much relationships in his life)
^cereal^ my words to you is that - you certainly could move on and seek for your own happiness, the true guy that looks not at the surface, but at the heart. This shouldn't discourage you - it should serve as a motivation to improve yourself - to show to that guy that he made such mistake in letting you go. Seriously speaking, even one day if he were to wake up and wants to accept you back - my stand is forget it man - who knows, when he is going through this mental crisis again and dump you using such excuses again? Past is something you can't change - but certainly you ain't condemn forever if you improve. Seek for appreciation, the love for who you are and what you are.
Cheers [/b]
well said!! -
well its hard to find someone who truely doesn't bother about the past.. so good luck.. take care..