Er..Erm..Er..Erm...
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I got a weird problem..i'm a guy but how do i refuse sex? My gf kept dropping hints to make love such as discussing about condoms and such..but i dun wish to break my celibacy until i get married...
My idea of a solution was thinking to break away from the topic and instead talking about something else..She's gorgeous and she is kind hearted and i never wanna leave her and confident of marrying her but the idea of her turning into a nympho somehow begins to change my impression of her a little bit by little bit nonetheless...
so how?
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dude.. be honest with her.. is she the one you want to marry? if so, tell her.. and if she loves you and values you, she'll understand and wait for you
hope you'll be well
(and man, you're gonna get flamed by all these fellas who are trying and trawling but aren't getting any) -
I told her about it in a brutally honest way i could find and she mentioned bout me being a SNAG and a very hard to find man but a few months later, she dropped hints againOriginally posted by the Bear:dude.. be honest with her.. is she the one you want to marry? if so, tell her.. and if she loves you and values you, she'll understand and wait for you
hope you'll be well
(and man, you're gonna get flamed by all these fellas who are trying and trawling but aren't getting any)
and i know she loves me a lot...we are 20 anyway....
We do enjoy some mild petting but definitely not sex..too extreme for me..
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wow. that a rare guy..
but i think as long as u think its not right, just stick to yr thinking lo.
but instead of changing subject, y not try opening the topic? talk to her lo. see what shes thinking, i mean she's yr gf, so there should be nothin that cannot talk one.
maybe she wasnt even thinkin of it, hahah.
communicate//...
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Tell her that you cherish her and want to protect her.
(read from a comic book) -
But the most shocking yet peturbing thing was that she brought me to Mothercare to browse around
Man, is her biological clock at full speed? -
Talking abt the use of condoms and such don't mean she wanna sex from you. Are you being too sensitive here?
Tell her your stand that you will not break your celibracy until you get married and please STICK to it. Dont be swayed and otherwise change your principals.
btw, are you her first bf?Originally posted by Taufiq:I got a weird problem..i'm a guy but how do i refuse sex? My gf kept dropping hints to make love such as discussing about condoms and such..but i dun wish to break my celibacy until i get married...
My idea of a solution was thinking to break away from the topic and instead talking about something else..She's gorgeous and she is kind hearted and i never wanna leave her and condifent of marrying her but the idea of her turning into a nympho somehow begins to change my impression of her a little bit by little bit nonetheless...
so how? -
hmm... huge question... is she THE one?
gut feel... not to be taken to be the correct thing.. just a gut feel.. could she be insecure about you? that is, she may lose you or something?
if she is THE one, take time to show her your commitment, your love and affection.. and that you're not going anywhere... and hopefully, both of you will have a relationship which will last the agesOriginally posted by Taufiq:I told her about it in a brutally honest way i could find and she mentioned bout me being a SNAG and a very hard to find man but a few months later, she dropped hints again and i know she loves me a lot...we are 20 anyway....
We do enjoy some mild petting but definitely not sex..too extreme for me.. -
i think u misinterpreted..she told me face to face that she wanna make love at one moment in time recently at her house...Originally posted by ^cereal^:Talking abt the use of condoms and such don't mean she wanna sex from you. Are you being too sensitive here?
Tell her your stand that you will not break your celibracy until you get married and please STICK to it. Dont be swayed and otherwise change your principals.
btw, are you her first bf?
I am strong both morally and religiously and i won't even dare to break my ground but the thought of losing her somehow loosen my foundation abit...
and no, i aint her first bf and she isnt my first gf... -
Thats the problem..my gut feeling never works.. My heart says she is the one but my mind say she isn't..Originally posted by the Bear:hmm... huge question... is she THE one?
gut feel... not to be taken to be the correct thing.. just a gut feel.. could she be insecure about you? that is, she may lose you or something?
if she is THE one, take time to show her your commitment, your love and affection.. and that you're not going anywhere... and hopefully, both of you will have a relationship which will last the ages
Just like in the Eagles song, "Don't you draw the Queen of Diamonds boy, she'll beat you if she's able. You know the Queen of Hearts is always your best bet."
If she is truly the ONE after many calamities..then i truly believe i have found mine.. -
Thought you mentioned 'hinted'... anyway...
Is she ADDICTED to sex? that's what I can think of at this moment...Originally posted by Taufiq:i think u misinterpreted..she told me face to face that she wanna make love at one moment in time recently at her house...
I am strong both morally and religiously and i won't even dare to break my ground but the thought of losing her somehow loosen my foundation abit...
and no, i aint her first bf and she isnt my first gf... -
love isn't about the head, it's about the heart...
why don't you take a few days, think hard and long, open your heart and listen to what it has to say, listen to your head and figure out what is stopping you... let them have a knock-down-drag-out fight.. and hopefully, you'll figure out who she is to you...
hopefully, she does the same thing about you...
still, when both of you figure "yes, we're good together".. it does not mean it'll work out... have to work at it...
but i digress...
she wants you... do you want her? what are the obstacles? (religious, i know, but does she share these?) why does she want you so much and so hurriedly?
things like that need answers...
hopefully, both of you find them... and work out something joyous to both parties...Originally posted by Taufiq:Thats the problem..my gut feeling never works.. My heart says she is the one but my mind say she isn't..
Just like in the Eagles song, "Don't you draw the Queen of Diamonds boy, she'll beat you if she's able. You know the Queen of Hearts is always your best bet."
If she is truly the ONE after many calamities..then i truly believe i have found mine.. -
We have been together for five years now and believe it or not, we have never ever quarelled or fought... We would talk things out if we are ever displeased with someone or something.My feelings for her never changed a bit since day one.Originally posted by the Bear:love isn't about the head, it's about the heart...
why don't you take a few days, think hard and long, open your heart and listen to what it has to say, listen to your head and figure out what is stopping you... let them have a knock-down-drag-out fight.. and hopefully, you'll figure out who she is to you...
hopefully, she does the same thing about you...
still, when both of you figure "yes, we're good together".. it does not mean it'll work out... have to work at it...
but i digress...
she wants you... do you want her? what are the obstacles? (religious, i know, but does she share these?) why does she want you so much and so hurriedly?
things like that need answers...
hopefully, both of you find them... and work out something joyous to both parties...
I do want her...oops.. i mean i do need her..everything she do, i have always been there and vice versa...Heck, we even go honeymoons together and behave like a married couple.
I told her about me abstaining from sex and she understood but it will come again and i will repeat the same thing.
Interestingly, my lecture did not somehow got into effect to her head but to her friend's head because her friend somehow needed some counselling from me about her nympho bf of hers but they broke up as soon as i could spell S-E-X.
Thats why i told her that sex is never essential in a relationship but its merely a commodity to be cashed in when the time is right -
then i have to admit that i do not know what to do if i were in your place... therefore i am in no position to even offer suggestions
to me, physical love shared is an extension of emotional love...
i do hope you figure things out for both of you.. and both of you will be happy togetherOriginally posted by Taufiq:We have been together for five years now and believe it or not, we have never ever quarelled or fought... We would talk things out if we are ever displeased with someone or something.My feelings for her never changed a bit since day one.
I do want her...oops.. i mean i do need her..everything she do, i have always been there and vice versa...Heck, we even go honeymoons together and behave like a married couple.
I told her about me abstaining from sex and she understood but it will come again and i will repeat the same thing.
Interestingly, my lecture did not somehow got into effect to her head but to her friend's head because her friend somehow needed some counselling from me about her nympho bf of hers but they broke up as soon as i could spell S-E-X.
Thats why i told her that sex is never essential in a relationship but its merely a commodity to be cashed in when the time is right -
Okay, you are in your 20s and know each other for 5 years already. Are you working now or are you going to graduate soon?
Why dont you consider marriage and help your gf with her sex drive. Marrying her will allow you to have sex with her and she got hersell satisfied and fulfilled. If you are not thinking about marriage, why are you with her for 5 years long?
By the way, remember to take red bulls if she asks for sex everyday .... *wink* -
i graudated..waiting for NS....dun even have an income..even if i do marry, i wun let my wife support us alone...i been with her for 5 years is because its not enough to spend an eternity with her..If sex is a privilege of a marriage, then i rather be a monk...Originally posted by redplanet:Okay, you are in your 20s and know each other for 5 years already. Are you working now or are you going to graduate soon?
Why dont you consider marriage and help your gf with her sex drive. Marrying her will allow you to have sex with her and she got hersell satisfied and fulfilled. If you are not thinking about marriage, why are you with her for 5 years long?
By the way, remember to take red bulls if she asks for sex everyday .... *wink* 
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You are in a serious situation boy. Sooner your rejection will turn to taunting from her...this is where the real test will come.
Since she keep hinting to you about sex...why not you constantly remind her that you hate discussing this topic. After sometime she will get it into her head. Of course you have to let her know its your principle and not that you hate sex. Hope this help...
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If this thing pursues, i hope i dun see the need to consult a sex doctor
But the love i have for her is too great for me to raise a finger or my voice at her. I just have to make her compromise with me and hopefully, things will be a-ok -
Rejecting her demand for sex is not going to solve the problem becos eventually she will try sex with others whom she is attracted to.
Women are capable to lust too, so she will probably lust after other men if her sex drive is not fulfilled. You can wait but she probably can't wait.
Well, if you decide to continue to delay and wait, you can pray that she will wait too. It will take a huge effort for her to suppress her own desire, but you can hope she does just that.
*wink* I can sell red bulls to you at a discount ..... -
.........Originally posted by redplanet:Rejecting her demand for sex is not going to solve the problem becos eventually she will try sex with others whom she is attracted to.
Women are capable to lust too, so she will probably lust after other men if her sex drive is not fulfilled. You can wait but she probably can't wait.
Well, if you decide to continue to delay and wait, you can pray that she will wait too. It will take a huge effort for her to suppress her own desire, but you can hope she does just that.
*wink* I can sell red bulls to you at a discount .....
where am i going to keep the red bulls? i live in a hdb flat leh.. -
Nothing beats telling the truth.
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just a reminder..
when turning your gf down, pls also reassure her that the reason why you are doing it with her is purely because of moral/religious reasons. Women sometimes interprete such refusals differently. She may feels that you are not attracted to her physically or that she is not sexy/womanly enough to turn you on. Reassure her that you do want her, but would prefer to wait till you both are married. -
BTDTOriginally posted by skinnybeanie:just a reminder..
when turning your gf down, pls also reassure her that the reason why you are doing it with her is purely because of moral/religious reasons. Women sometimes interprete such refusals differently. She may feels that you are not attracted to her physically or that she is not sexy/womanly enough to turn you on. Reassure her that you do want her, but would prefer to wait till you both are married. -
Originally posted by Taufiq:BTDT
saya tak faham -
been there
done thatOriginally posted by skinnybeanie: saya tak faham