Do I like him, what shud I do?
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I have this colleague at work who is very nice to me, that day he ask me out for dinner, I was not prepared so I decline him. I didn't know he had fallen for me. What shud I do now? He is a very nice guy, a few years older than me, I think I had started to like him but I'm not sure with my own feelings. So do I really like him? I don't know. And he is leaving this company at the end of the month.
Another thing is it is never the same eversince he ask me out that day. I feel awkward facing him, I dunno why I am feeling this way. But at night, like now, I do think of him or misses him.
What should I do now? I know either I take him (that is if I like him) or let it be (let him leave at the end of month then no need to think anymore)... take it or leave it? I'm confused... -
hmm...u like him lah. then ask him out and spend more time with him lor.
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But it's like, no doubt we do get along very well at work, I had never fallen for him at all in the past few months. Only when he started to ask me out on solo dates, then I realised he likes me, then I started feeling awkward, then I'm started confused with my own feelings, then I started to think of him at night...
If I like him also, how am I going about telling him? This few days, he act normal, no more making any advances, so what shud I do? -
jus keep going out more together n ur heart will lead the way
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hmmm.....wait and see.Originally posted by raingal:But it's like, no doubt we do get along very well at work, I had never fallen for him at all in the past few months. Only when he started to ask me out on solo dates, then I realised he likes me, then I started feeling awkward, then I'm started confused with my own feelings, then I started to think of him at night...
If I like him also, how am I going about telling him? This few days, he act normal, no more making any advances, so what shud I do? -
give it a try la
u won't die 1 -
like i always say : give him a kiss and see his reaction
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I think he's keeping his distance after your rebuff; he thinks you are not interested in him and is respecting your decision. Perhaps you can try to get your relationship back to the previous comfortable level so that he can probably regain his confidence and try asking you out for a date again.
How to do that I think you can try a more "stealthy" approach by being more friendly towards him, grab chance to talk and chat with him alone on personal issues/topics/life in general. Once the communication gets going, the mood between you and him gets more relaxed and tension from the first rebuff gets less. Then he may feel more confident about asking you out a 2nd time. At least let him know that you're not rebuffing and keeping away from him and you're open to approach.
However, if you're gutsy or confident enough, you as a girl can also ask him out on some pretext of discussing official business/work-related stuff, or simply ask him out outright. I don't think he'll look at you in any negative light and may even be delighted. -
i would say, in a nutshell, invaa got it right
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Its risky to assume your feelings or even your thoughts about him just because you knew about his feelings for you. Many a times, its not what we actually felt - rather, its the constant thinking that made us feel subconsciously we may have a small crush on that person.Originally posted by raingal:I have this colleague at work who is very nice to me, that day he ask me out for dinner, I was not prepared so I decline him. I didn't know he had fallen for me. What shud I do now? He is a very nice guy, a few years older than me, I think I had started to like him but I'm not sure with my own feelings. So do I really like him? I don't know. And he is leaving this company at the end of the month.
Another thing is it is never the same eversince he ask me out that day. I feel awkward facing him, I dunno why I am feeling this way. But at night, like now, I do think of him or misses him.
What should I do now? I know either I take him (that is if I like him) or let it be (let him leave at the end of month then no need to think anymore)... take it or leave it? I'm confused...
THIS IS NOT LOVE NOR TRUE CHEMISTRY.
The avoidance is probably because of your confusion and inability to handle or conclude things in your mind. Together with the 'time pressure' you are having from his deadline (end of the month), all these factors adds up together and create a little burden in your emotions and mind.
Advice?
Don't assume; take steps understand and realise what is all this about. To simplest way is to supply hope - you can remain passive and let him chase you, but you must feed him with hope; his own source of motivation. Probably he has felt that you has no interest in him, therefore, he could have given up.
Comment how nice this shirt is, smile, etc, so as to tell him (indirectly) that you ain't avoiding him because you ain't interested in him. Agree for a lunch together (or even initiate one for a start to get him his motivation coming) and be yourself. With the little time you have, it should be sufficient to keep his confidence coming.
Even if he has to leave the company - you have already lay the spell in him by then. Meanwhile, communicate and see how comfortable you are with him. Compatability of all kind (character-wise) very important - in simple words: TAKE your OWN time to know him. From there, you will know whether you have fallen for him and if he is suitable for you.
Cheers -
Somehow I do agree with Yunhaier, it's not love nor true chemistry. One thing, I know nothing much about him and he knew nothing about me. How could he had fallen for me? Just bcos we get along well at work? And if he knows about my past, will he still like me? I was a very unhappy girl in the past and I had depression, and now I'm back on medication.
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Originally posted by raingal:I have this colleague at work who is very nice to me, that day he ask me out for dinner, I was not prepared so I decline him. I didn't know he had fallen for me. What shud I do now? He is a very nice guy, a few years older than me, I think I had started to like him but I'm not sure with my own feelings. So do I really like him? I don't know. And he is leaving this company at the end of the month.
Another thing is it is never the same eversince he ask me out that day. I feel awkward facing him, I dunno why I am feeling this way. But at night, like now, I do think of him or misses him.
What should I do now? I know either I take him (that is if I like him) or let it be (let him leave at the end of month then no need to think anymore)... take it or leave it? I'm confused...
once u lose something...u can't get it back -
Love and chemistry cannot develop if u dun take interact with him off work.Originally posted by raingal:Somehow I do agree with Yunhaier, it's not love nor true chemistry. One thing, I know nothing much about him and he knew nothing about me. How could he had fallen for me? Just bcos we get along well at work? And if he knows about my past, will he still like me? I was a very unhappy girl in the past and I had depression, and now I'm back on medication.
i once met a girl with depression, she was probably the girl that i love most. she told me abt her situation, and i accepted it. but it was she herself that cannot accept herself and we were not 2gther in the end. if the guy truely likes u, he'll accept it for who u r. -
no girl like me la....they wont call me out nor they even drop a SMS... sigh....
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Welcome to the world of love - In this world, logics aside and heart is used to do the thinking. When you fall in love, it doesn't mean that he has to know every single thing about you to fall in love - he does because his emotions just flow unconsciously.Originally posted by raingal:Somehow I do agree with Yunhaier, it's not love nor true chemistry. One thing, I know nothing much about him and he knew nothing about me. How could he had fallen for me? Just bcos we get along well at work? And if he knows about my past, will he still like me? I was a very unhappy girl in the past and I had depression, and now I'm back on medication. When he is working with you - there are qualities in you that attracts him. The law of polarity acts and drew him.
Past? Now, who doesn't have a past? You worry too much. From your post, I sensed a lingering past that you find it hard to move on - remember, everything that happens is but a fleeting dream. The prison cell is always open - and it is you who chose to stay in it. Release your mind and soul, so that advancement and growth could enter into your life. Unhappy past? Rainbow only appears after a rain.
When he likes you, he have to like everything about you - its a package, nothing can be taken out. The other thing is that, it's HE who fell for you and not you falling for him - therefore, heed the advice in my previous post above to see if he is suitable for you.
P.S: Are you a Gemini or Virgo?
Cheers -
if there's really someting u cant accept in ur partner,do u still force urself to accept it as a package???Originally posted by Yunhaier:When he likes you, he have to like everything about you - its a package, nothing can be taken out. The other thing is that, it's HE who fell for you and not you falling for him - therefore, heed the advice in my previous post above to see if he is suitable for you.
P.S: Are you a Gemini or Virgo?
Cheers -
Askin u out for dinner ..doesnt mean anytin...unless he himself has told or hint u that he likes u ...wants u to be his gf....dun jump into conclusion 1st....juz go out for dinner as normal like u go out dinner wif ur frds....dun think so much wat he gotta to says...JUZ BE URSELF...TAT VERI IMPORTANT...if not u sms him that does he has any feelins for u....for me I can says im veri frank...if i like or love the guy ...i will either tel him straight in his face or sms him..the worst thing....the guy gets so awakard cos he does have feelin for me too....BE URSELF JUZ DO IT....
CHEERS~~~~~~ -
Its you who choose your partner. If you never take enough time to look at the potential package you could have - who can you blame?Originally posted by birdbird:if there's really someting u cant accept in ur partner,do u still force urself to accept it as a package???
Acceptance? Once you are in a relationship itself, you have indirectly sign an agreement. This agreement works in both ways - acceptance from you and effort to improve from her. Either one fails, agreement backfire, conflict arise, problem occurs.
Classic example: Typical guy cannot accept non-virgin girl, enters into a relationship with one. Extremely down and unable to accept - love her very much, however, can't accept mentally. In the end, he learn to love and treasure her or to leave her eventually. Everything comes together with a package, you can't make her virgin again - you just have to love her the way she is.
Cheers -
guess u r rt.i really din take enough time to understand her b4 committing.
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
Its you who choose your partner. If you never take enough time to look at the potential package you could have - who can you blame?
Acceptance? Once you are in a relationship itself, you have indirectly sign an agreement. This agreement works in both ways - acceptance from you and effort to improve from her. Either one fails, agreement backfire, conflict arise, problem occurs.
Classic example: Typical guy cannot accept non-virgin girl, enters into a relationship with one. Extremely down and unable to accept - love her very much, however, can't accept mentally. In the end, he learn to love and treasure her or to leave her eventually. [b]Everything comes together with a package, you can't make her virgin again - you just have to love her the way she is.
Cheers[/b] -
Originally posted by birdbird:guess u r rt.i really din take enough time to understand her b4 committing. There is a first time for everything. That you went through is secondary - what have you learn and gain is primary.
I wish you well. Take care dude.
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How you know he has fallen for you? Maybe he's just exploring his options.
Just ask him out and have a good time. You could remain as good friends, this doesn't have to mean anything romantic.Originally posted by raingal:I didn't know he had fallen for me. What shud I do now? -
Originally posted by raingal:I have this colleague at work who is very nice to me, that day he ask me out for dinner, I was not prepared so I decline him. I didn't know he had fallen for me. What shud I do now? He is a very nice guy, a few years older than me, I think I had started to like him but I'm not sure with my own feelings. So do I really like him? I don't know. And he is leaving this company at the end of the month.
Another thing is it is never the same eversince he ask me out that day. I feel awkward facing him, I dunno why I am feeling this way. But at night, like now, I do think of him or misses him.
What should I do now? I know either I take him (that is if I like him) or let it be (let him leave at the end of month then no need to think anymore)... take it or leave it? I'm confused...Remember one thing in the mind... watever u have decide or you have done...U gotta to think thrice...if not you will be paying for a high price for wat you have done... Oways start as a friend relationship dun jump into BGR so fast...Crush is oways happen to everyone...it only a tempoary type of feelins. You nid to get noe the person well......As i have mentioned the eariler reply b4.... I think u r old enuff to decide things for urself...we as a strangers or friends can only give some advices here....Decision is still within you....Dun be so confused, focuse on where are you heading to , wat do u wants....
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Yeah, he has fallen for me. My other colleagues knew he is interested in me and has hinted me before. But I'm so busy with my work that I didn't get the hint.
But anyway, I'm already used to being alone (but not lonely) all these years. I am very independent and I've learnt how to take care of myself, despite I have a past.
So well, I dunno, I can't imagine if I've got a bf, also I am a lot smarter and mature than he think I am, I still think he dunno me well. -
thot u always say u got a lot of MEIZZZ????Originally posted by sh|nY_BoY:no girl like me la....they wont call me out nor they even drop a SMS... sigh.... -
Two people usually always start as strangers... No matter if you both know each other well, the point is... Are you interested in him too? If your interest is there, no harm staying in contact with him so that both of you can get to know each other better..? No obligation or anything... Just knowing someone a bit better and stepping into a different part of life... Provided that you're psychologically perpared? Afterall, you must understand that this ain't a perfect world?Originally posted by raingal:Yeah, he has fallen for me. My other colleagues knew he is interested in me and has hinted me before. But I'm so busy with my work that I didn't get the hint.
But anyway, I'm already used to being alone (but not lonely) all these years. I am very independent and I've learnt how to take care of myself, despite I have a past.
So well, I dunno, I can't imagine if I've got a bf, also I am a lot smarter and mature than he think I am, I still think he dunno me well.