heartless freak....
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there are good advicers in this forum.
would list cereal as one of those who expressed their ideas well.
cheers
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Something of our educational background... When we were 1st born into this world, we were taught to study... Spoon-fed... Test followed by test... Then exams.... VERY SYSTEMATIC....Originally posted by aHGer^83:ok...i tink some of u r actually thinkin dat im posting this cos of BGR...no lor...not only BGR lor...juz dat even my parents r hurting me...totally hate life...when 1 prob hasnt been solved...the other one comes...its like...u totally dun have the mood to do anything liaoz....hate this kind of feeling...
As a person grows up (or sometimes before the person even gets to really become a full adult), life gets more COMPLICATED... Reality is never so simple as it may seems to some, just that we're not fully aware of its ongoings... That's why we're not super beings... We're only human beings... Only 1 pair of eyes... 1 pair of ears... A brain we can hardly know how to make full use of.... We're only aware... TO A CERTAIN EXTENT....
As a person tries to grab more control over life and reality, more awareness and conflicts come in.... Problems arises.... Alot of times life is UNLIKE a simple arcade game... One mission after another? One opponent after the previous ones.... Might take a little adjustments and getting used to... Indeed it's of a different 'depth' and 'height'.....
Whatever Cereal had mentioned in his / her previous post generally applies.... Try to take PRIORITIES.... Identify the important & immediate problems from the others... Try to figure out what's REAL problems which you'll have to tackle and what's more like emotional struggles and desires....
A GREAT LESSON to be learnt in Life indeed...? Don't let your oppportunity be wasted away...? It could be a REAL INTERESTING CHALLENGE...?
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thank you...
I'm still learning...Originally posted by Devil1976:Very well-said indeed... I bet this is precisely what Ah Ger needs for now.... From my own experience, the main points have been more or less highlighted in this reply....
WELL DONE....
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Don't have to be too modest when you deserves some credits...Originally posted by ^cereal^:thank you...
I'm still learning... -
I really wonder whyOriginally posted by Yunhaier:'Nan ren bu huai, nui ren bu ai' theory
Why can't all girls just settle for guys that deserve them? -
i dunno.. you tell us when you find out?
it's strange you know? when a guy does all he can to be good to her, it's somehow ignored... but when he slackens a little, or when he's just so plain tired, he loses his focus, he's accused of "not paying attention" to her..
so, maybe that "girls liking the bad guys" thing is like that? it's all relative...
when a guy is always good to her, it becomes the norm.. and she is desensitised to it... so when he slackens, she's not happy about it... they quarrel and she leaves him because "he's been terrible", and the few occasions he wasn't that good stands out because she remembers them only and forgets all the care he's shown to her
when a guy is always mean to her, it also becomes the norm and she's desensitised to it.. when he does something okay or good, it becomes something to celebrate about, and she's over the moon about it... so she stays because the few occasions he was good to her stands out and she remembers them only.. and forgets all the nastiness he's constantly doing to her
any truth to this hypothesis?Originally posted by Honeybunz:I really wonder why
Why can't all girls just settle for guys that deserve them? -
Every male or female has a limit of patient and tolerance, once they reached that limit... they would either snapped or just explode. That is when they can do things to hurt you without feeling bad about it but who knows maybe later they will. In any case, be it men or women, some don't know how to cherish someone who is nice and caring towards them. Not everyone is heartless, its when something good happens to them, they tend to take it forgranted but once its lost or something happen then they regret it. What to do... this is life and it goes on!
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I may be wrong on the following, it's just what I feel, basically it's gotta do with the mentality when one gets into a r/s.
a) Some girls are in a r/s coz they want attention, love, care from the bf. Meaning, bf gives more than gf then gf is in cloud nine. Bf gets busy from other committment, gf finds bf shortchanging her, comparing from previous 'honeymoon period' where bf gives all gf wants, thus the argument about not being sensitive and craps.
Everyone needs to recharge themselves, girls and guys alike. They recharged differently. Guys go back to their 'cave', girls sink to the 'well'. Guys want time off, so that he can come back stronger and better, girls sink so that they can rise to the occassion and be loving again.
b) Some are in love head over heels over this guy, (infatuation perhaps, I dont know..) it's a challenge to them if they can possess him, after the catch is in the net, it's no longer a thrill to have him. thus r/s cooled down, guy thinks gal is not interested anymore, which can be the fact. (it can happen on a guy to a gal as well) dont get into a r/s just bcoz of superficial qualities one possess. If one can like you for looks, then surely there will be a better catch out there, one who possess better outlook than you. When one is madly in love, flaws r nuts to them. When one loses interests, the mere sight of him/her yawning can be detestful.
c) Some gals are 'post it pads' - ever sticky to their bfs. (Possessive? I am not sure abt it, but their beliefs will be that of, I want to be where he is seen, want to be around for him, etc etc.) Guys hang out with friends, friends tease him for having a superglue. If he dont turn up for their meetings, then he'll be accused of 'Got gf, dont want friends'. Now r/s becomes rocky bcoz gf now finds bf not spending time with her, which to the bf is he wants time off to mix with his friends to prevent his ego from being pricked/teasing/misunderstandings/etc etc etc.
d) There's this grp of other gals, who r in a r/s bcoz of the qualitative characteristics of their partner. Wants bf to set his priorities, feel/think for the bf. Doesnt need much of companion - independant type. Have the mindset that even though in the r/s, both are still individuals with goals in mind. Talks about spending quality time, not quantity time together. So even if bf doesnt give alot of attention on her, she knows she can trust that he'll be around for her when she needs it. Gives bf freedom/trust/respect/etc to do the things he wants to do.
Realise there's a trend on the behaviours of the gals, depending on their maturity level. Of coz, maturity level does not equate to age all the time.
Which grp of girls you have gotten yourself for, depends on what you can provide for them. Ultimately, no two peas are alike. You cannot find 2 people with the same characteristics/mentality.
I may be wrong on the above, just my 2 cents anyway. Take it with a pinch of salt yeah?
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Under the Art of Seduction and in everyday's life - such effect are very obvious. It happens to you, me and everybody because it is very psychological in nature.Originally posted by Honeybunz:I really wonder why
Why can't all girls just settle for guys that deserve them?
Things that are gotten easy without challenge are things you wouldn't treasure much. Lets talk about simple things like the toys you love when you were young - those bought by your parents every now and then during your constant pestering of '-I-am-going-to-cry-and-create-a-scene-and-make-you-super-pai seh' kind of tactics, comparing to those Lego set which you took pains and means to save during recess over a long period of time to purchase....
Which do you think you would treasure more?
Not to deviate too much: In matters of the heart: It is stated (in CloUdiSm) that the stronger the attraction for a person, the stronger the karmic relation with him/her. Strong karmic relationship are challenging and if you realise - true love will never be gotten easily. Therefore under Variables of True love (CloUdIsm Remix III) - guys/girls who are tailored-made to you are less treasured and appreciated. This CAN be altered and the only way is - IF you understand what you are seeking.
I always asked my friends and people around me: The partner you are seeking, what are you really finding? A majority wouldn't go anywhere further than what I called the 'Common sense preference.' This applies to both mental, emotional and physical aspect.
Nice, Understanding, caring, decent looking no need too good looking, must spend time with me...... Probably you can find thousands of such qualities anywhere.
You mentioned why girls can't settle with guys that deserve them. Two reasons
I) Love cosmic lesson - nobody can run away from the love cosmic lesson you ought to learn this lifetime. People fall for the wrong people, the right-but-not-suitable person, or simply an affair-before-marriage kind.
II) Good guys often employ wrong tactics to get the person they want and a majority of them suffered passive curse. Let me say something here - good guys ain't always boring. I have seen 'good guys' being quite sporting, however the passive side, probably the not-so-confident in chasing & other external/internal factors that contributes to their fate.
P.S: Love is about learning and enlightening, without lessons and experience to guide, how can you break through your original conventional thoughts, see the real world and understand what is the thing you truely seek?
Cheers -
i agree.. girls sometimes dunno how to pick guys... i see girls around with those ah bengs la all these... asking to be hurt and abused only.. while nice guys are often taken advantage ofOriginally posted by Yunhaier:Most of the time, girls don't really treasure nice guys. (My definition of nice guy = guys that treats girls VERY good, probably to the extend of self-sacrificial.)
When guys has a hint of evil/bad in them - its a different card altogether. Aiyo... you ok anot?
like to quote a few example of bars. girls want to be with guys who seem to hv a very rich sexual life, who slept with dunno how many girls, and dump them, but ignore those ppl who wants to wait cuz its better and more romantic or watever. then the same girls are hurt by choosing the wrong people, then come here to complain.