Confidence....Lost it.....
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Read and post in several posts abt relationships gone wrong. Me myself is having trouble..... Not my bgr coz i dun have one.....
i started having crushes in sec sch. Well, nv take any action until sec4. Was a wimp then(slightly better now), so couldnt get things right. thus ending up with numerous rejections due to lack of effort to woo the gers i like.
i am a cancer and being shy and "hum chi" in nature, i am deprive of any relationships until recently. Managed to go steady with a good ger-fren of mine. But we broke up after 2 mths.... use to have abit of confidence back then even though i isnt good looking, but the breakup has shattered everything....
i got alot of ger-frens and a no of them have always praised that i am a good guy and so boosting my ego. but somehow i wasnt a good lover as i am a good guy in their eyes......
went to the beach last sun. saw a ger i am pretty interested in.....
but since all the above.... i begin to question my personality......
y izzit that i nv work out with any gers..... i am at a lost now. i am still the same old me except for a slightly stronger determination to improve myself.
what should i do.... should i go ahead or back off.....
wondering should i find a gf only after completing ns.... i am going ns within a yr..... -
If you like the girl then go ahead and try. You wouldn't know what happened till you do. Everyone has expectations for the person who they would want to be with. Ultimately, just be yourself and look for the girl who would love you... just for you. Being a good guy or nice guy, they way your girl friends would put it... its not a crime but just that they don't feel for you. Keep trying and don't give up! When you go NS, just take things easy whether be it in camp or with your stead if you have one by then. -
seriously i am really afraid to try. i think i am not up to having a gf.... i cant handle so much failures....
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i am trying to build my confidence. i am training my body for nafa test and for myself. when i have a great body, think then i would have better confidence in myself...
character wise its hard to change the way i am.... basically i lack ahievements too...
too lazy
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went to the beach last sun. saw a ger i am pretty interested in.....
so do u know that girl in the first place? i think u can make friend with her first.. better to understand her character first then u decide whether to chase her or not.. -
hi
i think most of us go thru the "lost it" stage... it's good that you have nafa to look forward to and want to get fit to feel more confident.. however, i should say though a good thing, that is only temporal.. confidence come when you know yourself.. knowing your own strengths and weaknessess will help in self-believe -
Go slow with things and not push over your limits. Ideally should have your relationship AFTER NS unless an ideal one happens to just pop in? You're still not good at this, handling NS and a relationship at the same time is not an amateur's thing....Originally posted by T-711:Read and post in several posts abt relationships gone wrong. Me myself is having trouble..... Not my bgr coz i dun have one.....
i started having crushes in sec sch. Well, nv take any action until sec4. Was a wimp then(slightly better now), so couldnt get things right. thus ending up with numerous rejections due to lack of effort to woo the gers i like.
i am a cancer and being shy and "hum chi" in nature, i am deprive of any relationships until recently. Managed to go steady with a good ger-fren of mine. But we broke up after 2 mths.... use to have abit of confidence back then even though i isnt good looking, but the breakup has shattered everything....
i got alot of ger-frens and a no of them have always praised that i am a good guy and so boosting my ego. but somehow i wasnt a good lover as i am a good guy in their eyes......
went to the beach last sun. saw a ger i am pretty interested in.....
but since all the above.... i begin to question my personality......
y izzit that i nv work out with any gers..... i am at a lost now. i am still the same old me except for a slightly stronger determination to improve myself.
what should i do.... should i go ahead or back off.....
wondering should i find a gf only after completing ns.... i am going ns within a yr..... -
yups agree!! being in ns will really be an ultimate test for yr relationship... many gals break up wif their bf after they kena enlisted so it's better to wait till then.Originally posted by Devil1976:Go slow with things and not push over your limits. Ideally should have your relationship AFTER NS unless an ideal one happens to just pop in? You're still not good at this, handling NS and a relationship at the same time is not an amateur's thing....
me feel tt you should just open up yourself to more girls and don't rush into a relationship 
you're still young and still got plenty of time to find the right one. good luck! 
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Life is to learn from ur past n bring the experience into the future.If in ur case,u r going through a stage where u must find the courage to continue walking straight n upright.when u get past this stage,only then u will find true confidence,Be a man dun lose that fighting spirit.Originally posted by T-711:Read and post in several posts abt relationships gone wrong. Me myself is having trouble..... Not my bgr coz i dun have one.....
i started having crushes in sec sch. Well, nv take any action until sec4. Was a wimp then(slightly better now), so couldnt get things right. thus ending up with numerous rejections due to lack of effort to woo the gers i like.
i am a cancer and being shy and "hum chi" in nature, i am deprive of any relationships until recently. Managed to go steady with a good ger-fren of mine. But we broke up after 2 mths.... use to have abit of confidence back then even though i isnt good looking, but the breakup has shattered everything....
i got alot of ger-frens and a no of them have always praised that i am a good guy and so boosting my ego. but somehow i wasnt a good lover as i am a good guy in their eyes......
went to the beach last sun. saw a ger i am pretty interested in.....
but since all the above.... i begin to question my personality......
y izzit that i nv work out with any gers..... i am at a lost now. i am still the same old me except for a slightly stronger determination to improve myself.
what should i do.... should i go ahead or back off.....
wondering should i find a gf only after completing ns.... i am going ns within a yr.....
P.s:Getting rejected doesnt means there's no more chance at all,who knows,u might be marrying her in the future but thats depends if u wan to change urself. -
ya. think i just stick to getting more ger-frens then a gf. learn as i go along.
but i want to know that ger....
that day alot of gers went. if i just call just her up aint it showing to her that i am interested in her? -
makes sense. but its hard to change myself as this has always be the way i am.....Originally posted by Xicq:Life is to learn from ur past n bring the experience into the future.If in ur case,u r going through a stage where u must find the courage to continue walking straight n upright.when u get past this stage,only then u will find true confidence,Be a man dun lose that fighting spirit.
P.s:Getting rejected doesnt means there's no more chance at all,who knows,u might be marrying her in the future but thats depends if u wan to change urself.
my frens did highlight me on my flaws. been working on it.... but its tedious.....i am kind of waiting ns to mould me.... -
Originally posted by T-711:Read and post in several posts abt relationships gone wrong. Me myself is having trouble..... Not my bgr coz i dun have one.....
i started having crushes in sec sch. Well, nv take any action until sec4. Was a wimp then(slightly better now), so couldnt get things right. thus ending up with numerous rejections due to lack of effort to woo the gers i like.
i am a cancer and being shy and "hum chi" in nature, i am deprive of any relationships until recently. Managed to go steady with a good ger-fren of mine. But we broke up after 2 mths.... use to have abit of confidence back then even though i isnt good looking, but the breakup has shattered everything....
i got alot of ger-frens and a no of them have always praised that i am a good guy and so boosting my ego. but somehow i wasnt a good lover as i am a good guy in their eyes......
went to the beach last sun. saw a ger i am pretty interested in.....
but since all the above.... i begin to question my personality......
y izzit that i nv work out with any gers..... i am at a lost now. i am still the same old me except for a slightly stronger determination to improve myself.
what should i do.... should i go ahead or back off.....
wondering should i find a gf only after completing ns.... i am going ns within a yr.....
Do you desire a gf or you desire love?
Probably your answer will be clearer when you attempt the above highlighted point you made yourself.
Cheers -
Find out why they won't consider you lor
then work on it -
kind of yearn for a companion.Originally posted by Yunhaier: Do you desire a gf or you desire love?
Probably your answer will be clearer when you attempt the above highlighted point you made yourself.
Cheers
but i am always lazy.... cant put in effort for anything i do. even chasing gers..... so i am trying to improve myself.
hmm. i do not quite get what u mean actually..... -
well...at least u know where ur problem lies........Originally posted by T-711:kind of yearn for a companion.
but i am always lazy.... cant put in effort for anything i do. even chasing gers..... so i am trying to improve myself.
hmm. i do not quite get what u mean actually..... -
Originally posted by T-711:kind of yearn for a companion.
but i am always lazy.... cant put in effort for anything i do. even chasing gers..... so i am trying to improve myself.
hmm. i do not quite get what u mean actually..... You mentioned you wanted to improve yourself - now you repeated that point again, this is exactly what I meant.
When you feel that you have improve much and self confidence regain - probably that's where you will start eyeing for potential partners.
You yearn for companionship yet lazy to throw the neccessary effort - well, the day when you realise that this shouldn't be the case, would be the day when you will find advancement into your love life.
Cheers -
thanks. i know my priorities better.Originally posted by Yunhaier: You mentioned you wanted to improve yourself - now you repeated that point again, this is exactly what I meant.
When you feel that you have improve much and self confidence regain - probably that's where you will start eyeing for potential partners.
You yearn for companionship yet lazy to throw the neccessary effort - well, the day when you realise that this shouldn't be the case, would be the day when you will find advancement into your love life.
Cheers
thanks to those who gave me advice too. -
this is so real. so real life, in my life. but its b4 getting enlisted. \=Originally posted by frOst^~^nOva:yups agree!! being in ns will really be an ultimate test for yr relationship... many gals break up wif their bf after they kena enlisted so it's better to wait till then. me feel tt you should just open up yourself to more girls and don't rush into a relationship you're still young and still got plenty of time to find the right one. good luck! -
i think at this age the gers also searching for their identity. some dun even know what they want, how they suppose to commit to a relationship?
is just becoz that the guy got enlisted and got less time to accompany her, that cause her to divert her feelings to another guy who comes along.....
think its a blessing that i cant get a gf yet.
haha
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well it depends. some girls will faithfully follow her guy through the 2 or 2.5 yrs of ns, and if she is able to bare with these 2 yrs of weekdays-neglegence, the relationship will be even stronger cos the guy will totally appreciate the fact that the gurl waited relentlessly for him to finish his ns...
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yeah. that guy better treat their ger better.Originally posted by AaLviNn:well it depends. some girls will faithfully follow her guy through the 2 or 2.5 yrs of ns, and if she is able to bare with these 2 yrs of weekdays-neglegence, the relationship will be even stronger cos the guy will totally appreciate the fact that the gurl waited relentlessly for him to finish his ns...
haha. -
hmm.. just noticed.. the day u joined this forum.. was the day she broke up with me.
)))))))) : -
doesnt that make me a reminder to the date u breakup...Originally posted by AaLviNn:hmm.. just noticed.. the day u joined this forum.. was the day she broke up with me.
)))))))) :
sorry. if i change the date i will change it.
lol -
hey pal. Don't worry. This is something that most guys will go through. Good gals are all super popular and need to be "fight" over. That's why there's rejections. Anyway just to share with you. I have a friend who is super super confident of himself and got super high self esteem. Although he is a ok guy. But due to his characters, all my other friends dun like him cos he think he is always right and offend people at the same thime. Dun worry. Being rejected is normal. Don't take it too hard. Bottomline is, only go for the gals that you really love... going for someone just for the physical enjoyment or something to show off to others will lead to a breakup in no time. Cheers! [/quote]
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hey man... dun worry you're still young..... it's not very advisable to get a gf before army...... juz get to know more girl friends and juz enjoy the beauty of single life.... it might get lonely at times but hey wat do you know... you still have your frens ard man....get to know more girls to build your confidence..... dun be like me man....me and my gf broke up recently and it's kinda diff to pick up the pieces.... i find dat i have very few girl friends.... and i've lost the confidence to know more girls.... cuz i've been in a relationship for a very long time.... it's kind of sad though.... juz enjoy your youth.... u dun need girls to move on man....