Love? Or Just Gotten Used to each other?
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when a couple has been together for a long time, let's say 5 years and above, they keep squabbling, both parties are tired, but they just would not let go...is it love? or is it just that they dun wanna let go cos they have gotten used to each other? How to distinguish? What are the tell tale signs??
if it is the second case (gotten used), is it wiser to still be together? -
here's a song from a wonderful movie, Fiddler on the Roof... read the lyrics... is it love? how wonderful his wife's definition of love for him, yet, he could not understand until the end... love... it's not just about fireworks and the earth moving
Do You Love Me? (from Fiddler on the Roof)
(Tevye)
"Golde, I have decided to give Perchik permission to become engaged to our daughter, Hodel."
(Golde)
"What??? He's poor! He has nothing, absolutely nothing!"
(Tevye)
"He's a good man, Golde. I like him. And what's more important, Hodel likes him. Hodel loves him. So what can we do? It's a new world... A new world. Love. Golde..."
Do you love me?
(Golde)
Do I what?
(Tevye)
Do you love me?
(Golde)
Do I love you?
With our daughters getting married
And this trouble in the town
You're upset, you're worn out
Go inside, go lie down!
Maybe it's indigestion
(Tevye)
"Golde I'm asking you a question..."
Do you love me?
(Golde)
You're a fool
(Tevye)
"I know..."
But do you love me?
(Golde)
Do I love you?
For twenty-five years I've washed your clothes
Cooked your meals, cleaned your house
Given you children, milked the cow
After twenty-five years, why talk about love right now?
(Tevye)
Golde, The first time I met you
Was on our wedding day
I was scared
(Golde)
I was shy
(Tevye)
I was nervous
(Golde)
So was I
(Tevye)
But my father and my mother
Said we'd learn to love each other
And now I'm asking, Golde
Do you love me?
(Golde)
I'm your wife
(Tevye)
"I know..."
But do you love me?
(Golde)
Do I love him?
For twenty-five years I've lived with him
Fought him, starved with him
Twenty-five years my bed is his
If that's not love, what is?
(Tevye)
Then you love me?
(Golde)
I suppose I do
(Tevye)
And I suppose I love you too
(Both)
It change a thing
But even so
After twenty-five years
It's nice to know -
[quote]Originally posted by the Bear:
[b]here's a song from a wonderful movie, Fiddler on the Roof... read the lyrics... is it love? how wonderful his wife's definition of love for him, yet, he could not understand until the end... love... it's not just about fireworks and the earth moving
hmm...answer??
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for e sake of being together, they r being together.... mei you xin fu de~~~~~~
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see that u r a fan of utada hikaru....cheers!Originally posted by Addicted_2_You:for e sake of being together, they r being together.... mei you xin fu de~~~~~~
anyway, coming back to the topic, why do u think its a waste of time?
this couple has been together for a long time, but as they live together, things worsen as the couple's dreams and aspirations are different.. the girl wants to do a lot of things but stopped by the guy..cos the guy wants her to spend more time with him.. -
Q: do you love me?
A: i am still here...
sometimes, it's not "stuck in a rut".. but "i'm glad to be with you and would change nothing because i'm with you"
i told the woman i love before... if you would have me, where you are, i will be... because i love you and always will...
love himOriginally posted by shutthehellup:hmm...answer?? -
precisely, hmm moreover they r stayin together n that makes e presence of disagreements abundant..... e guy truly loves her i think... frm yr quote, can sense that the gal isnt the type who will wanna guai guai settle down that kinda gal... correct me if im wrong!Originally posted by shutthehellup:see that u r a fan of utada hikaru....cheers!
anyway, coming back to the topic, why do u think its a waste of time?
this couple has been together for a long time, but as they live together, things worsen as the couple's dreams and aspirations are different.. the girl wants to do a lot of things but stopped by the guy..cos the guy wants her to spend more time with him..
hehehehe u also a Hikki fan?
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true, but both parties are very unhappy with each other. quarrel every week over the slightest thing, even a word can cause a conflict...tried solving it, but to no avail. apparently, there is a personality clash. not anyone's fault, but the problem wun be solved cos its the character of both parties..Originally posted by the Bear:Q: do you love me?
A: i am still here...
sometimes, it's not "stuck in a rut".. but "i'm glad to be with you and would change nothing because i'm with you"
i told the woman i love before... if you would have me, where you are, i will be... because i love you and always will...
love him -
ya, i like her A LOT. love all her songs...buy all her concerts keke...Originally posted by Addicted_2_You:precisely, hmm moreover they r stayin together n that makes e presence of disagreements abundant..... e guy truly loves her i think... frm yr quote, can sense that the gal isnt the type who will wanna guai guai settle down that kinda gal... correct me if im wrong!
hehehehe u also a Hikki fan?
well, the gal wants to minimise problems, so she has given up a lot of dreams for the guy..and given in to his dreams which she doesnt relli approve.. -
you did all these for love..... you are quite a great guy here but have it ever crossed yr mind if that she truly truly loves you? giving in doesnt mean love sometimes...it may mean giving up or simply cant be bothered much... hmm i hope im wrong...Originally posted by shutthehellup:ya, i like her A LOT. love all her songs...buy all her concerts keke...
well, the gal wants to minimise problems, so she has given up a lot of dreams for the guy..and given in to his dreams which she doesnt relli approve.. Correct me again geez.. -
I have been with my ex for 6 years and we always argue and all. But between us, its not about getting used to it but rather we love each other very much. The relationship came to a point where i just totally gave up and have no more hope or faith that we would work out. I tried and tried but i am just too tired so in the end... i gave it up. I still don't know if its the right choice or wrong but what is done is done and can't be change. In time maybe i will know but till then all i know is that the pain of not being with her will always be in my heart.Originally posted by shutthehellup:when a couple has been together for a long time, let's say 5 years and above, they keep squabbling, both parties are tired, but they just would not let go...is it love? or is it just that they dun wanna let go cos they have gotten used to each other? How to distinguish? What are the tell tale signs??
if it is the second case (gotten used), is it wiser to still be together?
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er...i am the female party...Originally posted by Addicted_2_You:you did all these for love..... you are quite a great guy here but have it ever crossed yr mind if that she truly truly loves you? giving in doesnt mean love sometimes...it may mean giving up or simply cant be bothered much... hmm i hope im wrong... Correct me again geez.. -
this guy in the story is one who doesnt pay for dates, doesnt offer help to the girl, depends on the girl financially sometimes, expects the girl to follow his wishes, squabble when things dont go his way..are u like that?Originally posted by Marmalade Boy:I have been with my ex for 6 years and we always argue and all. But between us, its not about getting used to it but rather we love each other very much. The relationship came to a point where i just totally gave up and have no more hope or faith that we would work out. I tried and tried but i am just too tired so in the end... i gave it up. I still don't know if its the right choice or wrong but what is done is done and can't be change. In time maybe i will know but till then all i know is that the pain of not being with her will always be in my heart. -
Originally posted by shutthehellup:er...i am the female party...
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No, i am not like that! I give in a lot to her but sometimes its being taken forgranted of can be quite painful.Originally posted by shutthehellup:this guy in the story is one who doesnt pay for dates, doesnt offer help to the girl, depends on the girl financially sometimes, expects the girl to follow his wishes, squabble when things dont go his way..are u like that? -
sorry to hear that... hope things are settled nicely and happily for both...Originally posted by shutthehellup:true, but both parties are very unhappy with each other. quarrel every week over the slightest thing, even a word can cause a conflict...tried solving it, but to no avail. apparently, there is a personality clash. not anyone's fault, but the problem wun be solved cos its the character of both parties..
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so how would u suggest if the guy was as wat i described?Originally posted by Marmalade Boy:No, i am not like that! I give in a lot to her but sometimes its being taken forgranted of can be quite painful.
the guy in this story always say sorry in a fight, not becos he is genuinely sorry but jus becos he dun wanna quarrel anymore... -
so u suggest a breakup?Originally posted by the Bear:sorry to hear that... hope things are settled nicely and happily for both...
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This is what i believe, "words are meaningless if your actions doesn't show it". So, if this guy is not genuine or sincere towards you... i would just give it up. No point in dragging a relationship that has no future.Originally posted by shutthehellup:so how would u suggest if the guy was as wat i described?
the guy in this story always say sorry in a fight, not becos he is genuinely sorry but jus becos he dun wanna quarrel anymore... -
but this involves a marriage certificate..Originally posted by Marmalade Boy:This is what i believe, "words are meaningless if your actions doesn't show it". So, if this guy is not genuine or sincere towards you... i would just give it up. No point in dragging a relationship that has no future. -
are you religious?Originally posted by shutthehellup:but this involves a marriage certificate..
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not exactly..why?Originally posted by the Bear:are you religious? -
Oh ok! When you are married, your passion for each other doesn't end here... although a lot of people tend to do that. Its actually the beginning because you will be seeing, living, eating etc. together for the rest of your life. How you keep that passion even after marriage is up to both parties. If the passion dies out then will you get a divorce, will you just stick together and flirt around or just stick together and stay faithful? I believe that even when the passion has die out... either party can make the move like doing things when they still in the courtship days. Example, dress young and do what you both did when you were young or try something new to spice up your life. Being in marriage is not just about learning to live and be together, bringing up a child or being a parent... its more about how much you both love and feel for each other.Originally posted by shutthehellup:but this involves a marriage certificate.. -
the passages in this week's homily during Mass... about the duties of the husband and wife.. as found in the Book of Ephesians...
read the interpretation here
duties of husbands and wivesOriginally posted by shutthehellup:not exactly..why? -
i know this book and what it says...Originally posted by the Bear:the passages in this week's homily during Mass... about the duties of the husband and wife.. as found in the Book of Ephesians...
read the interpretation here
duties of husbands and wives
but the husband obviously doesnt do his duties...
for me, i dunno househole chores, i dunno how to wash clothes or cook...i intend to get a maid in the future...and now he is blaming me that i never fulfil duties of a wife just because i dunno all of the above..so he thinks that if i never fulfil my duties as a wife as he describes, he doesnt have to fulfil his duties as well..