How do u know...
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if that person wld be the One...
alot of things happened recently which left me wondering...
a guy has feelings 4 a gal but tt gal only treats him as a gd frd...at the same time, another gal is waiting 4 tt guy...
now the prob...if only that guy can hv feelings for the gal who is waiting 4 him instead of going after the other...but then...seems like according to tt guy, its rather impossible...
i personally felt tt luv can be developed over a period of time...however, my frds all felt otherwise...to them...no feelings means no feelings, n it will never develop in the future too...
hai...v complicated, i also dunno wat im talking abt liao...y can't things be more jian dan leh???
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.....hmm........
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i believe feelings can develop if u give yourself the chance to. But if inside you already tell yourself "this one... no hope" then of course no hope mar.
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If things were so jian dan, we wouldn't need AA liao ... ...Originally posted by hopy:if that person wld be the One...
alot of things happened recently which left me wondering...
a guy has feelings 4 a gal but tt gal only treats him as a gd frd...at the same time, another gal is waiting 4 tt guy...
now the prob...if only that guy can hv feelings for the gal who is waiting 4 him instead of going after the other...but then...seems like according to tt guy, its rather impossible...
i personally felt tt luv can be developed over a period of time...however, my frds all felt otherwise...to them...no feelings means no feelings, n it will never develop in the future too...
hai...v complicated, i also dunno wat im talking abt liao...y can't things be more jian dan leh???
Anyway, just to let you know that I also think it is possible to develop feelings over time ... but then, there is no gurantee. Sometimes, people needed time to get to know the other's good points and to develop feelings from there. -
Dear hopy,Originally posted by hopy:if that person wld be the One...
alot of things happened recently which left me wondering...
a guy has feelings 4 a gal but tt gal only treats him as a gd frd...at the same time, another gal is waiting 4 tt guy...
now the prob...if only that guy can hv feelings for the gal who is waiting 4 him instead of going after the other...but then...seems like according to tt guy, its rather impossible...
i personally felt tt luv can be developed over a period of time...however, my frds all felt otherwise...to them...no feelings means no feelings, n it will never develop in the future too...
hai...v complicated, i also dunno wat im talking abt liao...y can't things be more jian dan leh???
Its rather simple actually; just that our way of handling things and conscience hinders this simplicity. For example if you don't like this guy, logically, you would have told him straight in his face and ask him to stop wasting his time. Your words would be sharp and not ambigious and suggestive.
How many people in this world actually do that? Empathy, rational sense, pity, psychological game, moral, responsiblity and whole lot of other factors comes into the picture - it becomes rather complicating.
*/me presuming that this girl is you - saving the hassle of saying his girl that girl.
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You problem is simple, someone likes you, but you don't in return. Ok, lets think about this first. The verdict?
'I am sorry, but we lack the chemistry.'
Next, another girl likes the guy, but in return, he doesn't. The verdict?
'I am sorry, but we lack the chemistry.'
The issue pops up when you attempt to 'push' (this effect is seemingly pushing because of your situation and he would indirectly feel it this way.) him to someone else who he had little attraction for. You mentioned that love can be developed over the time.
If you meant that he could develop feelings for her if he give her a chance - he would tell you to give him a chance so that you could develop feelings for him.
You can develop feelings from good impression, chemistry and platonic friendship, but other than that, its difficult without these elements. These must happen subconsciously and not consciously. (As in giving you a chance to try out - most of the time, it wouldn't work at all. Love's sublime effect always overrule mind.)
Advice?
Believe it or not, I don't see it as a problem at all. So what if someone likes you, but you don't fancy him at all, in BGR sense. These things always happen and you should just maintain usual friendship, if possible, or simply lead on your life without thinking too much. Whether the other girl likes him or not - seriously, you have little affair between them, so why bother? Even if you knew the girl personally, its still 'their' business.
You can't control the decision of the other party, so why attempt to think about it?
There is no best of both world solution in love - Even if it is for you, its never for the other party.
P.S: If this isn't you, probably you would like your friend to read this post or 'copy and paste' to her verbally.
Cheers -
Dear Yunhaier,
Thanks for the comments, but then the prob now is tt gal already told tt guy no chemistry liao...as a result, tt guy is sad, depress in life etc --> studies affected. The gal who is interested in the guy knows tt he is depress (although i dun think she knows the real reason behind the depression) she is upset also...
Then its like the gal is qian gu jue ren like tt...coz she is like the start of everything?
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as i always emphasize to many of my friends, being involved in a relationship is not everything in your life and definitely not the end of the road.Originally posted by hopy:Dear Yunhaier,
Thanks for the comments, but then the prob now is tt gal already told tt guy no chemistry liao...as a result, tt guy is sad, depress in life etc --> studies affected. The gal who is interested in the guy knows tt he is depress (although i dun think she knows the real reason behind the depression) she is upset also...
Then its like the gal is qian gu jue ren like tt...coz she is like the start of everything?
as a matter of fact, nothing is everything in one's life. thus, one ought to learn how to let go and move on.
what we are looking at here is a guy got rejected by a girl, in one of the most polite manner i can think of. and if he cant get over it himself, he is getting nowhere in the later stage of his life.
it is good to hear that friends feel for one another, but to a certain extend. -
Originally posted by hopy:Dear Yunhaier,
Thanks for the comments, but then the prob now is tt gal already told tt guy no chemistry liao...as a result, tt guy is sad, depress in life etc --> studies affected. The gal who is interested in the guy knows tt he is depress (although i dun think she knows the real reason behind the depression) she is upset also...
Then its like the gal is qian gu jue ren like tt...coz she is like the start of everything? You are not a pisces - don't put absorb enviromental feelings and place false blame onto yourself.
That guy's depression is NORMAL - Who will laugh after being rejected? That girl's depression is NORMAL as well - Again, who will laugh about their love ones feeling down?
Since everything is NORMAL - it has nothing to do with you, although indirectly you are implicated into the situations. Come on, you did what BEST for him and such temporary sorrow is the BEST, considering other alternatives which is sh|tier.
I always choose to be very decisive about such common scenarios because I do what is best for others. Do what you can and choose the best alternatives - the rest don't bother.
P.S: One should NEVER be bothered over someone else liking you, but you don't in return. It doesn't concern you, it only concern him because simply, you can't control their liking for you. Since you can't control, why bother to feel for it?
Cheers -
errr that's a saying "Bei ai shi xing fu"
i guess being loved is always the best.
y not try to give person who like the ger a chance? things may turn out to be not wat u expected. feelings, yes can be developed over time, but dun be hasty abt it. only when u feel u r ready then u commit or else u will be hurtin the guy.
Sounds confusing
i tink so too!
Love is always a confusing thing. much less to say ur situation. -
u so sure im talking abt myself meh?Originally posted by Yunhaier: You are not a pisces - don't put absorb enviromental feelings and place false blame onto yourself.
That guy's depression is NORMAL - Who will laugh after being rejected? That girl's depression is NORMAL as well - Again, who will laugh about their love ones feeling down?
Since everything is NORMAL - it has nothing to do with you, although indirectly you are implicated into the situations. Come on, you did what BEST for him and such temporary sorrow is the BEST, considering other alternatives which is sh|tier.
I always choose to be very decisive about such common scenarios because I do what is best for others. Do what you can and choose the best alternatives - the rest don't bother.
P.S: One should NEVER be bothered over someone else liking you, but you don't in return. It doesn't concern you, it only concern him because simply, you can't control their liking for you. Since you can't control, why bother to feel for it?
Cheers
anyway even if im not pisces, it doesn't mean tt i will not react in tt way mah...coz mankind r not juz divided into 12 types of pple -
actually its not fair for the other ger lor..yesh agree dat feelings can develop over time..but at end of day "mian qiang si mei you xin fu de"...its best to let things develop naturally rather than look for love for the sake of being loved..Originally posted by hopy:if that person wld be the One...
alot of things happened recently which left me wondering...
a guy has feelings 4 a gal but tt gal only treats him as a gd frd...at the same time, another gal is waiting 4 tt guy...
now the prob...if only that guy can hv feelings for the gal who is waiting 4 him instead of going after the other...but then...seems like according to tt guy, its rather impossible...
i personally felt tt luv can be developed over a period of time...however, my frds all felt otherwise...to them...no feelings means no feelings, n it will never develop in the future too...
hai...v complicated, i also dunno wat im talking abt liao...y can't things be more jian dan leh??? -
Originally posted by hopy:u so sure im talking abt myself meh?
anyway even if im not pisces, it doesn't mean tt i will not react in tt way mah...coz mankind r not juz divided into 12 types of pple 
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err u can pass the tip on to whoever she/he is lol
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huh? wat tip?Originally posted by tSuYOshi:err u can pass the tip on to whoever she/he is lol -
i thot u always say that people are responsible for their own feelings??? so why be guilty of rejecting him. I think it will be even worse if the gal didn't reject him in the first place and gives him false hope. right???Originally posted by hopy:Dear Yunhaier,
Thanks for the comments, but then the prob now is tt gal already told tt guy no chemistry liao...as a result, tt guy is sad, depress in life etc --> studies affected. The gal who is interested in the guy knows tt he is depress (although i dun think she knows the real reason behind the depression) she is upset also...
Then its like the gal is qian gu jue ren like tt...coz she is like the start of everything? -
One will not know until he/she knows the other party to a certain extent. Even if there is no chemistry can still be friends first and know him better and then see how things develop...Originally posted by hopy:if that person wld be the One...
alot of things happened recently which left me wondering...
a guy has feelings 4 a gal but tt gal only treats him as a gd frd...at the same time, another gal is waiting 4 tt guy...
now the prob...if only that guy can hv feelings for the gal who is waiting 4 him instead of going after the other...but then...seems like according to tt guy, its rather impossible...
i personally felt tt luv can be developed over a period of time...however, my frds all felt otherwise...to them...no feelings means no feelings, n it will never develop in the future too...
hai...v complicated, i also dunno wat im talking abt liao...y can't things be more jian dan leh??? -
Haha... not lar, just part of the phrase and the word 'Pisces' just came into my mind and onto da keyboard.Originally posted by hopy:u so sure im talking abt myself meh?
anyway even if im not pisces, it doesn't mean tt i will not react in tt way mah...coz mankind r not juz divided into 12 types of pple -
hi newbie here...was reading yr post... i was thinking.. regarding the part abt u saying that feelings could b developed over time...do u mean that u hope that guy develop feelings for the gal who he said is impossible already??or u developing feelings for the guy who liked u??
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love is a waste of time
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anyway i do agree with wat imprefect had said...u need not b guilty that u rejected him.... becoz it is not really yr fault ba... in the sense this type of thing... cant really do much ba i am sure he will b trying his best to get over it also... u can't blame yourself for people to like u what... but then hope u dont like avoid him or what lor??
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agree wif yun abt the rejecting part...
getting a clearer pic from reading this thread.... i noticed that... it's because u 'reject' this guy, that's y u 'think' u have affected both...
no one else can make u feel what u feel, except urself
the guilt level is there, because humans... are... afterall.. humans..
coming back to whether compatible or not, or rather... feelings there or not... as long as time spent is quality time, who cares abt how long it's gonna take?
alot of ppl spend alot of time with their other halves, but this may not mean that it's a good thing, quantity can never beat quality.
i'd rather think, u are the other ger
lolz, feeling... juz a feeling.. -
not say avoid but then somehow when u know tt indirectly becoz of ur own choice u made 2 pple suffer....u juz feel....dunno how to find the right words to describle the feelings... juz feel bad abt it?Originally posted by pringles99:anyway i do agree with wat imprefect had said...u need not b guilty that u rejected him.... becoz it is not really yr fault ba... in the sense this type of thing... cant really do much ba i am sure he will b trying his best to get over it also... u can't blame yourself for people to like u what... but then hope u dont like avoid him or what lor?? -
anyway...where's the bk u suppose to lend me huh?Originally posted by Yunhaier:Haha... not lar, just part of the phrase and the word 'Pisces' just came into my mind and onto da keyboard. -
as in the gal who is waiting 4 tt guy har?Originally posted by AngelDark:agree wif yun abt the rejecting part...
getting a clearer pic from reading this thread.... i noticed that... it's because u 'reject' this guy, that's y u 'think' u have affected both...
no one else can make u feel what u feel, except urself
the guilt level is there, because humans... are... afterall.. humans..
coming back to whether compatible or not, or rather... feelings there or not... as long as time spent is quality time, who cares abt how long it's gonna take?
alot of ppl spend alot of time with their other halves, but this may not mean that it's a good thing, quantity can never beat quality.
i'd rather think, u are the other ger
lolz, feeling... juz a feeling..
this is getting so interesting...
humans...really complex thinking -
Originally posted by hopy:as in the gal who is waiting 4 tt guy har?
this is getting so interesting...
humans...really complex thinking