Originally posted by winky:
hi,
i think its possible to love 2 person at the same time, or at least like both deeply enough. in such case, the best thing to do is not to commit so much in the relationship for either of them and just date casually. that way, if any of them found out anything, you can argue that its just like going out with another friend, just that its from the opposite sex.
dating 2 guys at the same time is challenging but i enjoy it, makes me feel busy and i have adrenaline rush whenever the dates are very close (meet one after another on the same day). of course, there's a price to pay to have such thrills, you may end up losing all if found. you have guilt when one of them treats you very well, because they do not know what you have done behind their backs. especially if they ask for commitment from you, and you know you have none to give, you need to lie to get out from the situation, the feeling is not too good.
personal experience:
two-timed twice before.
always is when i'm already in a relationship, then comes along another guy, which i know i shouldn't feel for him, but i do feel a little bit, and i went out with the new guy as well, by telling lies to my bf, so i can sneak out with the guy.
why i two-timed:
-i feel i need to choose carefully, don't commit. i don't need to be absolute serious with any one until i decided to he's the one. even if i'm know he is good bf/future husband types, i can still choose and look around right?
in ang moh countries, its rather common to date more than one person, don't need to date exclusively one person. only in asian countries, when you date, you gotto date like you are married, monogamy. but have we forgotton something - we'll not married yet, we still can choose, if we don't look around, how do we know its the best we can find?
of course, giving false hope to someone is a moral sin. its telling lies (telling my bf lies to go out with other guys is a white lie). so long as you feel that you are not doing anything wrong, go ahead. but somethings are socially not accepted here. so, if you can't stand the pressures, from the society or yourself, or your bf/gf, then drop the idea.
i don't really see why you can't love more than two person at one time, just make sure you don't married two.
for me, when i two-timed, i know the risks involved, and i'm prepared if i'm found - lose both. i can just find another guy, not a big problem.
all the above is meant for reference for singles, not married individuals. if you are married, please do not hurt your family and your spouse. you are bound by the oath you taken when you decided to get married. i seriously discourage married individuals to love anyone other than your family, nor date anyone because you think that you itchy hands or very charming, etc. its morally, legally wrong to do so!
Not very nice you know? I happen to be in a similar scenario except that I'm one of the guys and I happen to know whats going on. Very shitty depressing feeling.
