Is it possible to be in love with 2 ppl at the same time?
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Picturing the one that can spend the rest of the life with.... Hmmm... was kinda good.... until the point came when both fit as much. I admit, such comparitive equilibrium is so rare, i dun think many can visualize it. It is a very strong feeling that you'd like to spend the rest of your life with BOTH, and not just either one, for without any one of them, you'd feel something is missing, cuz they are so very different... yet only with both then feel complete. And feel truly happy with both of them, complete honesty and trust.Originally posted by sassyfire:Not really everyone. I know what you mean cos I went through it once. But somewat like Red Ruby said, there must be one you have a stronger feeling for. I knew one of them for almost 8 years and another for 6 years, went through ups & downs. It's hard to say who you love more, but who can you picture living the rest of your life with. Also once a choice is made, u've to gear up your willpower to let go of the other one.
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Impossible....
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just ask yourself. Only you know the question. There can never be a man loving two woman at the same time. You think you are casanova? !
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Be decisive, chose oneOriginally posted by kurai:Then how? Wat to do?
Allowing yourself to toggle bwt 2 girls is like standing on a unbalanced boat. You will sink anytime.
Worst part is: You might end up losing both. -
Yeah i agree too. If u wait till u are really stuck with them and try to get out. Most likely den not u'll not be able to even be friends with them. surely u dun wanna lose both of them do you?Originally posted by SoonKeong:Be decisive, chose one
Allowing yourself to toggle bwt 2 girls is like standing on a unbalanced boat. You will sink anytime. Worst part is: You might end up losing both. -
hi,
i think its possible to love 2 person at the same time, or at least like both deeply enough. in such case, the best thing to do is not to commit so much in the relationship for either of them and just date casually. that way, if any of them found out anything, you can argue that its just like going out with another friend, just that its from the opposite sex.
dating 2 guys at the same time is challenging but i enjoy it, makes me feel busy and i have adrenaline rush whenever the dates are very close (meet one after another on the same day). of course, there's a price to pay to have such thrills, you may end up losing all if found. you have guilt when one of them treats you very well, because they do not know what you have done behind their backs. especially if they ask for commitment from you, and you know you have none to give, you need to lie to get out from the situation, the feeling is not too good.
personal experience:
two-timed twice before.
always is when i'm already in a relationship, then comes along another guy, which i know i shouldn't feel for him, but i do feel a little bit, and i went out with the new guy as well, by telling lies to my bf, so i can sneak out with the guy.
why i two-timed:
-i feel i need to choose carefully, don't commit. i don't need to be absolute serious with any one until i decided to he's the one. even if i'm know he is good bf/future husband types, i can still choose and look around right?
in ang moh countries, its rather common to date more than one person, don't need to date exclusively one person. only in asian countries, when you date, you gotto date like you are married, monogamy. but have we forgotton something - we'll not married yet, we still can choose, if we don't look around, how do we know its the best we can find?
of course, giving false hope to someone is a moral sin. its telling lies (telling my bf lies to go out with other guys is a white lie). so long as you feel that you are not doing anything wrong, go ahead. but somethings are socially not accepted here. so, if you can't stand the pressures, from the society or yourself, or your bf/gf, then drop the idea.
i don't really see why you can't love more than two person at one time, just make sure you don't married two.
for me, when i two-timed, i know the risks involved, and i'm prepared if i'm found - lose both. i can just find another guy, not a big problem.
all the above is meant for reference for singles, not married individuals. if you are married, please do not hurt your family and your spouse. you are bound by the oath you taken when you decided to get married. i seriously discourage married individuals to love anyone other than your family, nor date anyone because you think that you itchy hands or very charming, etc. its morally, legally wrong to do so! -
Originally posted by winky:hi,
i think its possible to love 2 person at the same time, or at least like both deeply enough. in such case, the best thing to do is not to commit so much in the relationship for either of them and just date casually. that way, if any of them found out anything, you can argue that its just like going out with another friend, just that its from the opposite sex.
dating 2 guys at the same time is challenging but i enjoy it, makes me feel busy and i have adrenaline rush whenever the dates are very close (meet one after another on the same day). of course, there's a price to pay to have such thrills, you may end up losing all if found. you have guilt when one of them treats you very well, because they do not know what you have done behind their backs. especially if they ask for commitment from you, and you know you have none to give, you need to lie to get out from the situation, the feeling is not too good.
personal experience:
two-timed twice before.
always is when i'm already in a relationship, then comes along another guy, which i know i shouldn't feel for him, but i do feel a little bit, and i went out with the new guy as well, by telling lies to my bf, so i can sneak out with the guy.
why i two-timed:
-i feel i need to choose carefully, don't commit. i don't need to be absolute serious with any one until i decided to he's the one. even if i'm know he is good bf/future husband types, i can still choose and look around right?
in ang moh countries, its rather common to date more than one person, don't need to date exclusively one person. only in asian countries, when you date, you gotto date like you are married, monogamy. but have we forgotton something - we'll not married yet, we still can choose, if we don't look around, how do we know its the best we can find?
of course, giving false hope to someone is a moral sin. its telling lies (telling my bf lies to go out with other guys is a white lie). so long as you feel that you are not doing anything wrong, go ahead. but somethings are socially not accepted here. so, if you can't stand the pressures, from the society or yourself, or your bf/gf, then drop the idea.
i don't really see why you can't love more than two person at one time, just make sure you don't married two.
for me, when i two-timed, i know the risks involved, and i'm prepared if i'm found - lose both. i can just find another guy, not a big problem.
all the above is meant for reference for singles, not married individuals. if you are married, please do not hurt your family and your spouse. you are bound by the oath you taken when you decided to get married. i seriously discourage married individuals to love anyone other than your family, nor date anyone because you think that you itchy hands or very charming, etc. its morally, legally wrong to do so!
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Hi winky,
That's not love you are talking about, it's all about fun isn't it?
What kinda of love you are talking about? It's just no strings attached. Oh, poor these two fellas... still dunno what's going on and being two-timed.
Oh yeah, this world is cruel. What comes around comes around. -
Originally posted by winky:hi,
i think its possible to love 2 person at the same time, or at least like both deeply enough. in such case, the best thing to do is not to commit so much in the relationship for either of them and just date casually. that way, if any of them found out anything, you can argue that its just like going out with another friend, just that its from the opposite sex.
dating 2 guys at the same time is challenging but i enjoy it, makes me feel busy and i have adrenaline rush whenever the dates are very close (meet one after another on the same day). of course, there's a price to pay to have such thrills, you may end up losing all if found. you have guilt when one of them treats you very well, because they do not know what you have done behind their backs. especially if they ask for commitment from you, and you know you have none to give, you need to lie to get out from the situation, the feeling is not too good.
personal experience:
two-timed twice before.
always is when i'm already in a relationship, then comes along another guy, which i know i shouldn't feel for him, but i do feel a little bit, and i went out with the new guy as well, by telling lies to my bf, so i can sneak out with the guy.
why i two-timed:
-i feel i need to choose carefully, don't commit. i don't need to be absolute serious with any one until i decided to he's the one. even if i'm know he is good bf/future husband types, i can still choose and look around right?
in ang moh countries, its rather common to date more than one person, don't need to date exclusively one person. only in asian countries, when you date, you gotto date like you are married, monogamy. but have we forgotton something - we'll not married yet, we still can choose, if we don't look around, how do we know its the best we can find?
of course, giving false hope to someone is a moral sin. its telling lies (telling my bf lies to go out with other guys is a white lie). so long as you feel that you are not doing anything wrong, go ahead. but somethings are socially not accepted here. so, if you can't stand the pressures, from the society or yourself, or your bf/gf, then drop the idea.
i don't really see why you can't love more than two person at one time, just make sure you don't married two.
for me, when i two-timed, i know the risks involved, and i'm prepared if i'm found - lose both. i can just find another guy, not a big problem.
all the above is meant for reference for singles, not married individuals. if you are married, please do not hurt your family and your spouse. you are bound by the oath you taken when you decided to get married. i seriously discourage married individuals to love anyone other than your family, nor date anyone because you think that you itchy hands or very charming, etc. its morally, legally wrong to do so! Its not about marriage, nor society or this world. - Its about you. Most zai case I know - four timing. But I see the case, I think he is very pitiful more than blissful. Why? Long story to post it here, then again, I don't see him being very happy.
People who two time are often people who cannot commit themselves. Under theory of love, these people tend to fall/attract people who they 'cannot' love. (the correct word would be 'Should not')
You mentioned that two timing is acceptable in a BGR relationship, but in a marriage all must cease - you SURE you could change? People don't change overnight - flirty guys almost never change their attitude towards love and sex even with marriage. Unless self enlightenment OR critical issue crops up - its naive to think that things will be different with a marriage cert. You mentioned that ang mo countries very common - yeah, with super high divorce rate as well.
You command the mind to think about marriage is more of a physical liability - legally, morally, bounded by oath. Nothing of the heart. Even if for some reasons, I cannot marry my girlfriend and have to remain going BGR status for the rest of my life, seriously, its the same to me. I am willing because I love, not because of liability. And if you ain't willing, even with all this physical liability, you would leave if you want to, isn't it?
I respect your decision because relationship your boyfriend doesn't mean you have to marry him. Its true. But to chose carefully right? you mean you chose you boyfriend ONLY when you enter into a relationship with him and not prior before?
P.S: Don't worry man, not shooting at you. Everyone have different love cosmic lesson, I truely respect someone who can share their inner most lesson and feel in AA and just like you, I return an essay back.
Cheers -
Originally posted by winky:hi,
i think its possible to love 2 person at the same time, or at least like both deeply enough. in such case, the best thing to do is not to commit so much in the relationship for either of them and just date casually. that way, if any of them found out anything, you can argue that its just like going out with another friend, just that its from the opposite sex.
dating 2 guys at the same time is challenging but i enjoy it, makes me feel busy and i have adrenaline rush whenever the dates are very close (meet one after another on the same day). of course, there's a price to pay to have such thrills, you may end up losing all if found. you have guilt when one of them treats you very well, because they do not know what you have done behind their backs. especially if they ask for commitment from you, and you know you have none to give, you need to lie to get out from the situation, the feeling is not too good.
personal experience:
two-timed twice before.
always is when i'm already in a relationship, then comes along another guy, which i know i shouldn't feel for him, but i do feel a little bit, and i went out with the new guy as well, by telling lies to my bf, so i can sneak out with the guy.
why i two-timed:
-i feel i need to choose carefully, don't commit. i don't need to be absolute serious with any one until i decided to he's the one. even if i'm know he is good bf/future husband types, i can still choose and look around right?
in ang moh countries, its rather common to date more than one person, don't need to date exclusively one person. only in asian countries, when you date, you gotto date like you are married, monogamy. but have we forgotton something - we'll not married yet, we still can choose, if we don't look around, how do we know its the best we can find?
of course, giving false hope to someone is a moral sin. its telling lies (telling my bf lies to go out with other guys is a white lie). so long as you feel that you are not doing anything wrong, go ahead. but somethings are socially not accepted here. so, if you can't stand the pressures, from the society or yourself, or your bf/gf, then drop the idea.
i don't really see why you can't love more than two person at one time, just make sure you don't married two.
for me, when i two-timed, i know the risks involved, and i'm prepared if i'm found - lose both. i can just find another guy, not a big problem.
all the above is meant for reference for singles, not married individuals. if you are married, please do not hurt your family and your spouse. you are bound by the oath you taken when you decided to get married. i seriously discourage married individuals to love anyone other than your family, nor date anyone because you think that you itchy hands or very charming, etc. its morally, legally wrong to do so!
so when the poor loser asks how long you been doing this behind him, you say 'even before i met you. you're only for back-up' right? or who knows? maybe he might say 'gee thanks. i was wondering how to put it across to you that my wife just came back from the States.' -
Care to elaborate on thisOriginally posted by Yunhaier:People who two time are often people who cannot commit themselves. Under theory of love, these people tend to fall/attract people who they 'cannot' love. (the correct word would be 'Should not')
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impossible....it will be desires then...and not true love.
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dun ever 2 time, be true to 1 is the best. ask urself "Wat is it that u wan" if u can't decide, dun get invovle, the 2 oso dun wan. if u can't make a decision to stay committed to 1 u end up hurting every1
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To winky,
if you think toying around with 2 guy's heart is fun, u are a disgrace.
Think guy's are items on shelf? 3 month's period? Free trial?
How shallow.
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dun scold her liddat lah.Originally posted by SoonKeong:To winky,
if you think toying around with 2 guy's heart is fun, u are a disgrace.
Think guy's are items on shelf? 3 month's period? Free trial?
How shallow.
ppl do make mistakes. we muz gif ppl chance to change for the better
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Originally posted by tSuYOshi:dun scold her liddat lah.
ppl do make mistakes. we muz gif ppl chance to change for the better what a nice guy. -
Originally posted by Devil1976:Care to elaborate on this Love theory - Relationship are our personal mirrors.
'Man of 40 years old has never been married. He asked a question on why he always chose a woman who can't make a committment in a relationship. Later he told me that what he really wanted was a harem of woman and that he couldn't seemed to get the woman he knew to participate in his harem experience.
So I begin to ask him why he has difficulty in making committment in love and what it is about being committed to one person that is so scary for him. His own feelings told him that he had a great fear of betrayal and that whenever he got too close to a woman, he got even more afraid of being hurt or abandon. He will pull away and want some space, inadvertently creating the very situation he was afraid of, being separate from loved one. His other ploy was to try and keep multiple relationship, so that he wouldn't have to worry if one of them hurt or left him.
There are so many female out there dating married men. And these pattern has become so familiar to me that I just have to smile every time I hear about it. Anyone with common sense can figure out that a person who is having affair with someone who is unavailable is also unavailable themselves. Aside from dishonesty that usually accompanies these kinds of affair, these relationship are usually very painful and unfulfilling. Alot of pain could be avoided if these folks could just admit to themselves that they are not interested in a committed relationship and choose someone who was unmarried and side step all these dishonesty and hiding that accompanied these affairs.'
- Love Cards
We reflect who we attract; therefore the simple phrase of 'you ought to love yourself before you can extend this love to others.' is so damn important. People whom suffer from abuse relationship are people suffering from inferior complex, low self esteem, negative outlook in life and basically poor relationship experience and handling.
P.S: 32% of woman two-time now comparing to 27% of men. Woman are getting more self-sufficient in terms of finance and the position standing between men and women are closing up the gap between one another. So two timing is no longer a man's doing - woman are enjoying as well as man.
Cheers -
Originally posted by winky:
wah... pls... i wun lie either of them lor. I said already, complete honesty. And better still, they already know about each other.
i think its possible to love 2 person at the same time, or at least like both deeply enough. in such case, the best thing to do is not to commit so much in the relationship for either of them and just date casually. that way, if any of them found out anything, you can argue that its just like going out with another friend, just that its from the opposite sex. -
Yunhaier.... you took that out from a book or somewhere? Where you get your stats from?
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everybody has a right to do what they want, its just the consequences that comes with it that they have to bear.
i feel like i'm hooked on two-timing. i have my fair share of being two-timed as well. true, i know myself, i can't commit, but, there was once, i've got one side that is a 'consenting' party (meaning to say, he already knew i had a bf, and he still say wanna be with me). that was the start of my two-timing affairs. since then, i've not been able to shake off two-timing.
maybe its because i'm not with someone i truely love. that's why i don't really care too much. if i really love that guy, i don't think i have space for another one. yes, i know, i'm not serious with them, and they are serious with me.... not fair... villians get all the luck... whatever you say, they willingly come to me, i didn't cheat them, promising them any commitment. only commitment i promise is they got a chance.
since don't know where, i feel that BGR shouldn't be taken seriously... taking it too much cause a lot of grief. -
Go ahead with it, 2-time..provide as much sexual titilation as u can possibly offer...haha..
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Originally posted by kurai:Yunhaier.... you took that out from a book or somewhere? Where you get your stats from? Stats from from internet, came from taiwan. Book titled Love Cards.
Cheers -
err ifu r not serious, u will hurt the other party who is serious to u. that guy knowing u haf bf is willing to be with u shows that how much he loves u, by doing this u r hurtin him more, n will end up huring every1. u got to stop n find some1 hu u can really commit to n love.Originally posted by winky:everybody has a right to do what they want, its just the consequences that comes with it that they have to bear.
i feel like i'm hooked on two-timing. i have my fair share of being two-timed as well. true, i know myself, i can't commit, but, there was once, i've got one side that is a 'consenting' party (meaning to say, he already knew i had a bf, and he still say wanna be with me). that was the start of my two-timing affairs. since then, i've not been able to shake off two-timing.
maybe its because i'm not with someone i truely love. that's why i don't really care too much. if i really love that guy, i don't think i have space for another one. yes, i know, i'm not serious with them, and they are serious with me.... not fair... villians get all the luck... whatever you say, they willingly come to me, i didn't cheat them, promising them any commitment. only commitment i promise is they got a chance.
since don't know where, i feel that BGR shouldn't be taken seriously... taking it too much cause a lot of grief.
good luck -
i think i have commitment issues.. i like a girl, but i would always worry about our different lifestyle, diff sch, diff church, hard to meet up, whether she would like someone else already, whether i can accomodate to her needs, whether she can accomodate to mine.. sigh
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oh.......story sounds familiar...Originally posted by dumbdumb!:i think i have commitment issues.. i like a girl, but i would always worry about our different lifestyle, diff sch, diff church, hard to meet up, whether she would like someone else already, whether i can accomodate to her needs, whether she can accomodate to mine.. sigh