what should I do?
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Its bcos of this sort of ppl like u tt makes a gd person like cutie hurt! HOw can u not be serious in a rls? If u arent serious, y go into one and hurt ur partner?Originally posted by TrAnQuILiTy:Dun confront him. If they r reali juz frens... by doin so wld make him lagi disapointed in u. Cos u simply had no trust in him. Since u had oredi 4given him d other time, dun let d past haunt u.
Giv him d benefit of doubt. Ur doubts might be resulting from past experience... take a break gal.
If its me.... i wun b serious in d r/s... go out n koe mor frens... who koe.. there is sumone out there who is mor suitable for u...
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Cutie~~Originally posted by CuTiE~~:thks to all~ for all ur replies...
read through the opinions from all of u...I have decided to ask him him abt the gal whom my fren saw him hanging out together with when i meet up with him today...
will ask him who is she...
b'cos i am a clear cut person...
when something is not right, i will not feel at ease...
it will affect me totally...
had a hard day outside yesterday...flashes of what my fren told me came haunting me throughout the entire day...
had a real hard time fighting back my tears...i will not cry outside no matter how bad i feel...
but the moment i reached home, tears just kept flowing down...
now, there are no more tears...i will cry no more...
what is love?
saw 'my house has 4 treasures' @ chanel 8 last nite...what is the world exactly coming to??
i have been faithful for these years...rejected advances from other guys...but yet these are what i get back...
do scream at me if you think my decision on probing him today is wrong...
i have no more tact...i want nothing but the truth...
Dun worri! I duno abt others but I am sure wont scream at u for wat u do, cos i feel its the right thing to do. At least u can find out abt things more clearly. Lets not cry le, ok?
Sayangz CuTiE~~ U can always find us! 
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No i mean... if tat person is nt serious wat for u get serious wif him when in d end u r bound 2 get hurt....Originally posted by shaunlaw:Its bcos of this sort of ppl like u tt makes a gd person like cutie hurt! HOw can u not be serious in a rls? If u arent serious, y go into one and hurt ur partner?
If i found a guy who is serious wif me, of cos i will b serious in him 2... tats wat i mean.
No pt being tat gd 2 a person who is nt worth it.... -
if u confront him, and he's guilty, he ain't gonna admit, scared you rat on him to that girl. but if he's innocent this time, he's gonna tell you off for not trusting him. if he's a flirt, this won't be the last time you have doubts about him. your number of chances for confronting him will be down by one after this miss case. he may use this to crush all your rights to question him in future. so do your private investigation to gather undeniable evidence against him without alerting him. get trustworthy friend to help if inconvenience you. hope you review your decision.Originally posted by CuTiE~~:thks to all~ for all ur replies...
read through the opinions from all of u...I have decided to ask him him abt the gal whom my fren saw him hanging out together with when i meet up with him today...
will ask him who is she...
b'cos i am a clear cut person...
when something is not right, i will not feel at ease...
it will affect me totally...
had a hard day outside yesterday...flashes of what my fren told me came haunting me throughout the entire day...
had a real hard time fighting back my tears...i will not cry outside no matter how bad i feel...
but the moment i reached home, tears just kept flowing down...
now, there are no more tears...i will cry no more...
what is love?
saw 'my house has 4 treasures' @ chanel 8 last nite...what is the world exactly coming to??
i have been faithful for these years...rejected advances from other guys...but yet these are what i get back...
do scream at me if you think my decision on probing him today is wrong...
i have no more tact...i want nothing but the truth... -
I remembered your case of your bf cheating on you the previous time. (At 11 october 2002 in Aunt Agony).Originally posted by CuTiE~~:It is so ironic..
one year ago, i caught my bf flirting behind my back.
it almost caused us a break-up as the incident really haunted me & made me lost trust in him..
he gave me his words it would not happen again...that there is nothing between he & the other gal...that it was just a fling.
it really took me beri beri long to forgive him..but i will never forget...simple reason being that i am just any other humans..
one year after on this day...one of my friend living in the same hostel as him told me that she saw he & another gal together..
from her pt of view, they behaved intimately...quite obvious that things going on between them is more than juz ordinary friends..
i am really at a lost..feeling so bitter...
what should i do? confront him? or wait further until my fren observe the situation for me?
Ok. here's your case study - five years worth of relationship. (Never break/patch before? Cause if got break, technically, its less than 5 years), will definitely somehow retain this relationship, not always due to the effect of love, rather the pain of losing a relationship of 5 years. This does not equate to love, rather, Its the natural human nature of 'so long already, can't bear to.''we have been together for more than 5 years... by right, it shld have been quite stable' -
By left? Logically speaking, it could be, but in reality, such model ain't applicable to love context.
The thing about the breach of trust is that once it happened, its stays, regardless of length of time. When your bf is out with another girl, your immediate automatic thoughts would be 'cheating on me.' Although its unhealthy for the relationship to spring such way of thinking, I understand its difficult not to, considering the hurt you went through. However, trust is all or nothing. Either you give, or your don't. Under the theory of a Breach of Trust - anything more than the first chance is redundant.
Advice?
You have a right to know what's going, base on the account of being his gf. (Maybe not the past, but definitely issues relating to the present, threatening the existence of this relationship).
Don't trash things out badly and kept supporting your points with the incident that happened in the past. Seriously, this is the last thing you should do. Cause if you do, you are telling him that you never bury that hatchet since that day, which indirect question yourself on the reason 'then, why did you still continue the relationship?'
I say speak to him about this issue - at a good tone. Don't Interrogate him and make a hasty conclusion. Allowing him to explain himself and watch carefully, regarding his body language and his content. He will probably defend himself and dismiss it as you being too overly suspicious. Accept what he claims to say and mark it down into your memory. Leave a gentle reminder that the existence of this relationship lies within his behaviour and his 'way of hanging around with girls.'
'It's not always neccessary for the need of concrete prove to end this relationship.' He said he will change (previous time), give him the benefit of the doubt. But once its obvious that he is cheating on you the second time, think no further - no more chance.i have been faithful for these years...rejected advances from other guys...but yet these are what i get back...
You did your duty as a gf, do not condemn yourself for being tootpid or similiar. Being a faithful good gf will benefit you long term, throughout your life, rather than one that is not. There are people who will treasure this aspect of you - don't think that is foolish.
Cheers